Chapter 9: Bittersweet Pastries

Having been told by Blitz to close up early, and with the knowledge that he would be busy on a date, Millie and Moxxie decided to go on a date of their own. Finally, some actual alone time together with assurance that there would be no boss/friend/stalkers to interrupt and spy on them. They were leaving the movies, holding hands, eating cotton candy, and generally being adorable when Moxxie's phone buzzed.

"Oh, sh*t." Moxxie let go of Millie's hand to open the notification.

"What is it?" Mille leaned over his shoulder, "Oh, sh*t."

It was an alert from a security company that one of Moxxie's locks had been opened.

"Which one is that, Mox?" Millie asked, knowing he had quite a few secured locks hidden around, which at first she thought he was just being paranoid, but it made more sense now knowing how he'd grown up.

"It's the lockbox I keep hidden in the office break room. The one that holds my secret lemon bars! Some criminal is stealing my lemon bars! What if they figure out my the secret ingredient?" He began panicking.

"Hun, I doubt someone broke into the office just to steal some lemon bars, or the recipe." Millie resisted the urge to roll her eyes.

"Maybe not, but now that they've found it, who knows what they'll do with it!" Moxxie turned to his wife, "We did lock all the doors behind us, didn't we?"

"Yeah, I triple checked it. And you do know that if Loona or Blitz ever find your lemon bar stash, they will eat it. And call you fat. And not let you live it down for the rest of your life." She said with an incredulous look.

"Yes, that's why it's a secret stash." Moxxie stated like it was obvious.

"I'll call Loona. Wouldn't want to interrupt Blitz's date." Millie pulled out her own phone.

"Like he's ever afforded us the same luxury." Moxxie grumbled.

Going about 40 over the speed limit, as Blitz had taught her, Loona picked up her phone to see Millie calling her. That was weird. She put it on speaker and threw the phone on the dashboard.

"Sup." She said, as she cut someone off on the road.

"Hi, Loona! You at the office?" Millie sounded peppy as usual.

"No, I'm driving the van right now." She swerved as some *sshole in a semi decided that they owned the road.

"Oh. I thought Blitz took the van to his date." Millie said, confused.

"Where'd ya get your license, the f**king junkyard?" Loona screamed at another driver before getting back to the topic, "Uh, yeah. I got him right here with me. Pretty sure he's passed out, though. He called me from the bar and I portaled to him so I could drive. He got completely wasted. Anyway, what did you need?"

"Oh, it can wait til tomorrow. Drive safe!" Millie said in a cheery voice.

"F**k you!" Loona copied her tone, and hung up.

"Shouldn't we tell them?" Moxxie asked with furrowed brows.

"No, I think we can take this on our own." She wrapped an arm around him, "M&M secret agents, returning from a spy mission to find our base has been infiltrated. Oh, what will happen next?"

"Let me guess, we use our bad*ss skills to take them down and stomp on their bodies." Moxxie smiled.

"They take them down using their bad*ss- Hey! You ruined my moment!" She put both her hands on her hips and pouted.

"Sorry, sorry! Go ahead, say the thing about busting their skulls open." He chuckled.

"Well, now it's no fun anymore. Let's just go. I'll get us an Lyft-iathan." Millie said and started walking.

— — —

Outside of the I.M.P. office, Millie stood with her signature giant axe, and Moxxie counted exactly how many guns he could fit in his coat. He tried the door to find that it was still locked.

"That's odd. We're dealing with a burglar who locks the door behind themselves?" He said as he pulled out his keys.

"No amount of stalling will save them now." Millie gave a menacing grin.

Moxxie realized that Millie was now ready to dive in for a kill, which basically meant that all logic would be out the window for a while. Though at times inconvenient, he still found it incredibly hot. He unlocked the door, and began mouthing a short countdown to her. Before he had finished, she let out a warcry and kicked the door off its hinges. Again, inconvenient but incredibly hot.

They walked into the lobby, guns and axes raised, like they were spies in a Bond movie. It was surprising to see the place completely trashed. Papers were scattered on the floor, couches turned over; nothing was left untouched. But to their surprise, at least at first glance, nothing appeared to be missing. Everything of value was still there and undamaged. Muffled noises seemed to be coming from the break room. Moxxie motioned for Millie to follow him as they crept silently towards the sound.

"Hands up, mister . . . Oh." Millie jumped into the room, ignoring Moxxie's orders, but was left speechless by what she saw.

"Yeah, we've caught you red-" Moxxie started, but stopped when he saw Stolas sitting on the floor crying, stuffing his face with lemon bars.

"Your highness!?" Millie shouted at the same time Moxxie shouted, "My lemon bars-! Oh, right, your highness?!"

Stolas looked up in surprise and quickly stood up, trying to dust off the powdered sugar to no success, "Oh, h-hello little ones! I-I do apologize that you've seen me in such a wretched state." He cleared his throat, "I hope I didn't alarm you."

"Oh it's fine-" Millie started.

"Actually, you did alarm us. Literally, you set off an alarm." Moxxie pulled out his phone for visual reference, "How'd you get into the lockbox?"

"Oh, dear. I am sincerely sorry for the undo stress I have caused. With telekinesis, it's rather easy to move pins inside of locking mechanisms. I wasn't thinking in my frantic state, and when I saw the pastries . . . Here, let me clean all this up for you." Stolas waved his hands around and everything simultaneously began moving back to their original places, all except the lemon bars which were still in his stomach.

"Umm, your majesty, can I ask why you're here? Did you need the book back for somethin'?" Millie said cautiously.

Stolas slouched over, dejected, "No, I already checked it a dozen times, and I'm afraid it's not there."

"Are you looking for something, sir?" Moxxie asked.

"Oh, it's nothing for you to worry about. And, I've already checked everywhere, which means Blitz probably already has it, which means . . ." Stolas trailed off, and quickly wiped away some more tears before they could fall, "Anyway, I'll leave you be now. Here, have this as recompense for the lemon bars. They were quite delicious."

He put a fat stack of cash into Moxxie's hand, probably at least a hundred times what they were worth.

"Oh, and please don't tell anyone I was here . . . especially Blitzy. Ta-tah!" And with that, he made a portal and was gone.

" . . . My lemon bars." Moxxie's lip quivered.

"Oh, forget about those! What do you think he was looking for?" Millie asked, looking around.

"Well, from what I saw in the mess, he started his search in Blitz's office. He was only in here because he checked everywhere else." Moxxie began talking like an investigator.

Moxxie crept through the office, though Millie didn't know why. Now that the thrill of danger was over, she just walked right into Blitz's office like she owned the place. It looked just as it did when Blitz walked out of it a few hours before. Stolas must have used his magic to put things away in here, too.

"So, what should we be looking for?" Millie asked, mostly to herself.

"Well, the prince didn't tell us what it was, that means it was either embarrassing or incriminating. Given that he especially didn't want Blitz to see it, my bet is on embarrassing." Moxxie began looking at all the horse decorations and narcissistic paraphernalia, "Now, Blitz keeps a lot of objectively embarrassing things around, so we'll have to inspect every item, examine each article for the subtle hint of-"

"Found it!" Millie said, producing a blue envelope from one of the desk drawers.

Moxxie tsked, "Mille, I hardly think it will be the first thing we find."

"Oh, really?" She raised an eyebrow, and turned it over to show the side with Blitz's name in fancy lettering.

Millie hopped over the desk, and she slashed it open with her finger nail.

"Are we sure we should be reading this? Maybe we should just return it-" He was cut off by Millie beginning to read the letter aloud.

Dear Blitz,

I wish I could possibly express how much I love you. No matter where I go, no matter what I do, the memory of you always sneaks into my mind. Every balloon becomes a worm horse in my mind. Every cheesy tv show reminds me of how dashing you were as you helped me find Via. And when I see a bear trap I think of the time you *** ****** ***** **** ***** *******. . .

Millie deeply regretted reading that, "I'm . . . just gonna skip down a bit."

"Please do." Moxxie said, in desperation.

Blitz, you are the prince in every fairy tale, and the horse tamer of every western. You are everywhere I go, and yet you are so distant from me. I've always been a means to an end for you, but I don't hate you for it. Despite knowing this, I feel myself choking on my tears as I yearn for your embrace. What would I give to hear you say you love me, too? What must I do, what must I say for you to understand that I want to spend my eternity with you. You inspire me to stick up for myself and to seek what I want. I would give up my title, money, and status if it meant being by your side. I would freeze hell over, if you asked. And yet you simply cannot comprehend my feelings since the only thing I mean to you is a leather bound book.

Millie, who had started crying softly while reading this, now fully broke down in tears.

"Why is Blitz such a d**khead?!" She sobbed

Moxxie wiped tears from his face, "Here, let me read the rest." He sniffled and took the letter from her.

You've helped me see that I will never be more than that. You made it abundantly clear that my affection is more annoyance than gift when you left after I told you that I love you.

I've done everything I know how to earn your love, your trust, but to no avail. I want to have a committed relationship with you. Octavia even encouraged me to pursue you. But I am tired, Blitzy; I am tired of the heartache, the nights together followed by mornings all alone, the waiting for a day that will never come. So I am going to try to move on. I will try to mend this broken heart, that I might give it to someone else who will give me theirs in return. I will never forget all you've done for me, Blitz. And a part of my heart will always belong to you. If you ever want to speak as friends, I will always be here for you. Always and forever.

Goodbye my Darling Blitzy,

Stolas Ars Goetia

Mox turned to Millie, a gross mixture of tears and snot dribbling down his face, "I can't believe Blitz is throwing this all away! What are we gonna do?"

After wiping away her tears, a smile appeared on Millie's face, "We are gonna hafta play cupid for these love birds."

He pulled out a handkerchief and wiped his face, grinning". . . I'm pretty sure only one of them is a bird."

"Would you let me have my moment?!" She snapped back.

— — —

The light streamed in from colored window panes as the first light of dawn shined onto Blitz's face. He blinked his eyes open slowly, still half in a dream he was already forgetting. A small groan escaped his lips as he laid on his stomach, burying his face in the pillow. Strange . . . it smelt of pine trees and crisp night air, like a layer of dew drops covering a whole forest that went on and on forever. He liked this smell. He knew this smell. What was it again? He turned over to see a lanky mass of feathers turned away from him, chest rising and falling in even breaths.

Sh*t!

Usually on these full moon nights, Blitz left around 2 in the morning, and was home by the witching hour. The clock on the wall however, read 6:42 am. Blitz started slowly shifting his weight to sit up. He peaked over Stolas's shoulder to see all his eyes were closed and he looked to be sleeping soundly. Good. He continued moving off the bed, cautiously, as not to wake him, but just as his feet were about to hit the floor, an arm wrapped around him and pulled him in.

"Full moon's gone, pal. It's long past time for me to go." Blitz said against his chest.

The prince yawned and nuzzled the top of Blitz's head, "But why would you want to leave? Won't you be going back to a cold, empty bed? Isn't it better here, where it's warm?"

He was right, but Blitz pressed the issue, "You know I don't do mornings. Come on, let me go."

"I will, just . . . a little longer, please? I'd never hold you against your wishes, but won't you let me persuade you to stay for just one more hour?"

"Never hold me against my wishes, huh? And what are you doing right now?" Blitz smirked as he retorted.

"I pulled you back in, yes, but nothing is preventing you from leaving again. Yet other than your words, I have yet to feel you move to leave." Stolas stroked Blitz's back.

Blitz blushed, curling partially into a ball, "That's because I know that it wouldn't work. You may be scrawny, but you're f**king strong when you want to be."

Blitz felt Stolas smile on top of his head, "Yes, but I wouldn't want to make you feel forced or unsafe with me, my dear. As precious as every minute with you is, it wouldn't be worth that."

Blitz rolled his eyes, as he always did when Stolas started sweet talking out of his *ss, "Yeah, uh-huh. Good for you, I'm gonna go now."

Blitz began moving, and to his surprise, Stolas let him slip free of his arms with no resistance. He sat up, and looked down at the owl who now snuggled up to his leg and cooed, "See? I want you to be able to trust me every once in a while." He reached up a hand to touch Blitz's face, "The way I completely and utterly trust you."

Alright, Blitz was just about done with all these bullshit. He grabbed Stolas's hand and moved it away, "Sorry, but that ain't happening."

He was starting to get off the bed again, when Stolas sat up, too, "Wait!"

Blitz stopped and looked at him, waiting to be released from his duties, "I just . . . I really do enjoy spending time with you. . . It gets quite lonely in the castle sometimes, and I've only ever been intimate with a woman who hated my guts, and . . . it's just been nice having you here, even if it's just for a few hours. I'm not trying to guilt you into staying; you may stay or go as you desire. I just . . . want you to know that there is always a place in my bed for you if . . . you ever feel cold."

Stolas hoped that Blitz understood his double meaning. He often felt cold and alone; being a single dad could do that to you. He just wanted Blitz to know he had someone to turn to, full moon agreements aside.

"Yeah," Blitz snorted, "I bet I do."

Stolas realized that he took a different, more promiscuous double meaning out of his heartfelt statement, "No, that's not what I-"

"Half an hour." Blitz said, as he got back into the bed.

"Oh! R-really?" Stolas was surprised, but made more room for him.

"Don't read into it. You were just right about it being too cold to do sh*t." Blitz said as he snuggled into the warm beast.

"Right. Yes. Of course." Stolas tried not to squeal with joy.

A few minutes passed while they simply breathed together. Their hearts beat at an even rhythm, giving into a smooth lullaby for the broken pair who found each other on happenstance. Blitz inhaled that woodsy scent, but before he could get too lost in it, he checked the clock again, then repeated the cycle. It was one of those moments that Blitz looked down at Stolas's feet poking out at the end of the blanket.

"Hey, I've been wondering. Why do you always have your sheets going the wrong way on your bed? If you had it the other way, the blanket would cover the whole bed and your feet wouldn't stick out."

Stolas looked down to see what he was talking about, "Oh! Yes, well that's exactly the problem. You see, I have some very sharp talons, and if I put blankets over them, they would tear it to shreds with the slightest movement. So, this way is best I'm afraid."

Blitz nodded thoughtfully, then he wiggled down, disappearing under the covers.

"Um, Blitzy dear, while I do appreciate the thought, it's a bit early for a bl**-j*b, don't you think?" Stolas said, before realizing that Blitz had tangled their legs together and was warming his feet with his.

Stolas blushed, "Oh, no, darling. I'm quite alright. I wouldn't want to accidentally cut you if I drift off. I'd rather shred a hundred blankets before harming you-"

"Shut up . . ." Blitz whispered into Stolas's stomach, "What's another scar? Besides, I thought you said it was cold?"

A wide grin spread across Stolas's face, and he curved his body down to hug the horns atop Blitz's head, "You're right. . . It was."

— — —

Blitz sat up with a start; his head pounding the announcement of a hangover. He looked over to see sunlight streaming through a dirty window, blinds crooked and half closed. An alarm clock blared on his bedside table next to a picture of Loona giving him the finger. The room smelt of cigarettes and dirty laundry.

It had been awhile since he dreamt about Stolas. It had started out as a memory of the one time Blitz had accidentally slept in Stolas's bed, but it ended differently. He had never gotten back into the bed with him, never accepted the invitation, never warmed his feet. After Stolas had begged him to stay, Blitz had left. An ars Goetian, a lonely and forgotten, sappy bird with sweet eyes, begged him for something, and he had gone without looking back.

Blitz turned to look at the other side of his bed. Empty, save for an old horse plush that was falling apart. He had loved that doll for years now, but he probably stole it. It had probably belonged somewhere else. Somewhere with a kid who would play with it around the house, give it a cute name, and cuddle with it at night. Blitz did do all those things, but he was a middle aged man who also spilled beer on it and couldn't even remember if and when he had stolen it. How messed up was he if he couldn't even have an honest relationship with a doll? It would've been better off without him.

Blitz laid in bed and let himself cry.

Author's Note

Vik here. It was kind of funny how the editing process went this time around. There was a power outage at my house, and I still had a fully charged phone, so I ended up reading to my dear editor and my number one supporter, to pass the time. They loved it, and it was my editor's idea to make Moxxie and Millie cry as they were reading the letter, which I think added some more of their character into it. My editor also kept doing big siiiiiiiiiipps while I was reading which was kind of hilarious and we had a good laugh.

I had Moxxie teasing Millie in this one, because I think that maybe, while Moxxie is the one who is teased most of the time, he might get his payback occasionally. I realized that lemon bars are usually sour and sweet, not bitter or bittersweet, and I was going for a double entendre with the bittersweet letter and memory, so I wanted to change it to a different pastry. But my number one supporter said that they really liked it as it was with the powdered sugar and everything, so I kept it.

Lyft-iathan was supposed to be hell's version of Lyft. We've seen apps on Blitz's and other characters phones and they've all been some sort of reference to the hellverse. In this case, I combined Lyft with Leviathan, not a character (at least yet) seen in any of the show's lore, but is a sea-serpent and fallen seraphim in theology.

There were other options, but this was the one that won the poll on my Tumblr. I sometimes do polls related to the story there, so check it out!

Thanks as always! See you on Wednesday~

— — —

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