Chapter 7 - Ain't About the Glamour (TPM)
Author's Note: Leaving home is hard.
~ Amina Gila
"We've been freed, and we're going away," Anakin tells Jira, passing her a handful of coins, probably the remainder of the ones in his pocket. "Buy yourself a cooling unit with this. Otherwise, I'll worry about you."
Jira looks momentarily astonished, which isn't exactly surprising. It's extremely uncommon for slaves to get freed. "Can I give you a hug?" she asks finally.
"Sure."
A feel a sudden strange sensation, like there's something watching. I've felt it a few times since we left home, and it's beginning to put me extremely on edge. Such feelings usually mean something is wrong, but I can't see anything out of the ordinary. I scan the area again, unable to make out anything suspicious. Finally, I move past Jira's stand over to where Qui-Gon is slowly heading off.
"Something watching us," I tell him, frowning. He glances at me, then shakes his head slightly in a way that gives me the impression I shouldn't mention it. Something is wrong, but I don't know what. Clearly, he senses it too and doesn't want anyone to know I do.
"I'll miss you, Ani," I hear Jira saying. "There isn't a kinder boy in the galaxy. You be careful." Finally, Anakin runs up to us. As we keep walking, Qui-Gon suddenly withdraws and ignites his lightsaber, slicing it through an object hovering next to us and putting it away all in the same move. The two halves of the mostly round droid fall to the ground, sparking. The Jedi kneels next to it, studying it.
"What is it?" Anakin asks worriedly.
"Probe droid. Very unusual," Qui-Gon explains.
"It what watching us?" I question.
"Possibly. It's not like anything I've seen before." That suddenly reminds me of the conversation I'd heard about someone looking for them. Were they the ones the probe droid was following us for? Have they – whoever they are, exactly – found us? Qui-Gon suddenly stands up, expression concerned. "Come on," he says urgently, "The ship is a way out." He gently lifts me up and breaks into a run, Anakin at his side, struggling to keep up.
The craft is a good distance away from the town. The suns beat down on us as we hurriedly make our way down the streets and beyond. It's definitely a good thing our friends didn't try to head back the day of the sandstorm. By the time they could have reached it, they would have already been dead.
I almost hate not being able to walk myself, but I know the distance is far, and I'd run out of energy far before then, since the only thing giving me energy right now is the adrenaline coursing through me. I just lost everything in my life, save Anakin, and the still-crushing depression that's settled over me is still there even if I'm momentarily distracted from it.
Something is wrong. I just know it. I have the same cold, dark feeling, like something's coming, that I've gotten a few times, but right now it's very strong. And the farther we go, the more pronounced it gets. It's midday now, and the suns are at their hottest point. We should be inside, not running through the unprotected area outside the town. The heat beating down on me is practically unbearable.
I can see a strange-shaped silverish object standing out against the horizon. "The ship?" I ask, pointing at it.
"It is," the Jedi confirms.
It's not a long distance, and I'm about to ask him to put me down when I suddenly catch sight of something over his shoulder. "What that?" I ask, turning to point at the approaching cloud of dust. Was someone supposed to be coming?
Qui-Gon pauses, glancing over his shoulder towards it. I can hear the sound of an engine rushing towards us. The Jedi's expression instantly changes to one of alarm, and he sets me down. "Get to the ship!"
The spot is growing bigger, but I don't ask any questions. There was an urgency in his voice that I can't ignore. I take my position on Anakin's right, almost instantly regretting my decision. As we dash across the endless stretch, my legs threaten to go out from under me a couple times, but I push onwards anyway, forcing them to keep moving. We gotta move. There's not time to trip, no matter how uneven or soft the sand is, or if I'm trying to run too fast.
The approaching engine finally dies down, and I risk a glance backwards. There's a sound, the same one I'd heard earlier when Qui-Gon ignited his lightsaber. My eyes widen in horror at the sight in front of me.
A black robed figure – darkness is pouring off it in waves – is attacking him with a red lightsaber, the hilt of which is is much longer than Qui-Gon's. He lands blow after blow, only for the Jedi to block each with his green lightsaber. Whoever the person is, they're extremely fast. I don't know what's happening, but we need to get out of here. Now.
The figures are moving together in a blur, too fast for me to make out their motions. A thick cloud of dust is being kicked up around them. "Tell them to take off!" Qui-Gon yells from the midst of the fray.
Anakin instantly breaks into a run, with me right behind. I don't fully understand why he's ordering this, but he must have something in mind. I don't know what that creature is, but I don't think he can hold off for long against it. There's a small part of me that wonders if Anakin and I will be able to fight like that once we're trained. That would be... I don't even know. Scary and exciting at once.
Finally, we reach the ship and run up the ramp. I stumble to a stop inside the hall it opens into, struggling to catch my breath. I'm scared, more accurately, terrified, which is probably the only reason I'm somehow still managing to stand at the moment. My heart pounds hard enough I find myself wondering if everyone in the ship can hear.
Luckily, I spot a familiar figure not far inside. Padme.
"Qui-Gon's in trouble. He says to take off," Anakin says in a rush.
"Now!" I add for emphasis. We need to hurry and get out of here.
"Who are you?" an unfamiliar figure asks from nearby.
"They're friends," Padme answers, hurrying down the halls. Anakin and I fall in step behind her. We finally arrive in the part of the ship I think might be the cockpit judging from the controls. There are two figures there, neither of which I recognize. Wait... something does look familiar about one of them. I remember my dream last night – was it really last night? It feels like last year – the part where I heard Ahsoka's name. He looked like an older version of the person standing in front of me.
"Qui-Gon's in trouble. He says to take off," the unfamiliar person I saw earlier hastily relays the message.
"I don't see anything," the pilot replies, scanning the area through the window in the front of the ship.
"Over there," replies the one from my dream – I suddenly register that he was the one I heard Qui-Gon talking to over a commlink the other night – as he points out the window towards where I can see the figures moving amidst a growing cloud of dust. "Fly low."
I can feel the ship vibrating, and I clutch my best friend's hand tightly as I feel the ship lifting off. This is going to be the first time we've seen a spaceship (that we remember), let alone been to space. But right now, my sole focus is the fight outside, and the growing fear that we might not get there on time. My stomach twists at the very thought.
The ship approaches the fight, ramp extended. I can only watch, holding my breath the entire time, as the spaceship flies above the fight. Qui-Gon jumps onto the extended ramp, and it immediately closes as the ship zips upwards full speed, safely out of reach of the other mysterious figure.
The moment the ramp closes, the person I recognized from my vision stands up, hurrying out into the hall. Anakin and I run after, with me struggling to keep pace with the other two. I haven't really managed to fully catch my breath yet from the mad dash earlier. Finally, we make it to the door to the hall entering the ship. Qui-Gon is sitting right inside, catching his own breath. Artoo is seated next to him, beeping softly in concern.
"Are you alright?" Anakin and I call instantly, running to him. My eyes scan over him; he looks uninjured from what I can tell, but I have to be sure.
The man from my dream crouches next to Qui-Gon, Anakin on his right and me on his left.
"I think so," Qui-Gon says between breaths, "That was a surprise I won't soon forget."
"What was it?" asks the other person, voicing my thoughts.
"I don't know, but he was well trained in the Jedi arts. My guess is he was after the Queen."
"He follow us?" I inquire worriedly. I don't know what that was, but the thought of encountering it again is frightening.
"We'll be safe enough once we're in hyperspace, but I have no doubt he knows our destination," he tries to reassure me.
"What are we going to do about it?" Anakin asks, ever the first of us to consider the severity of the situation and try to look ahead. Stars, he is so good at that.
"He find us?" I query quietly.
I catch sight of the person from my vision sending questioning looks at both Anakin and I, probably wondering who we are and what we're doing there. "We will be patient," Qui-Gon says. "Anakin Skywalker and Ashla, meet Obi-Wan Kenobi." Obi-Wan. It's a strange name, but it somehow seems to fit him. And I'm fairly certain it's the same name of the person I overheard Qui-Gon talking to last night.
Anakin turns towards him as his expression morphs from worried to cheerful, extending a hand which he excepts. "You're a Jedi too? Pleased to meet you!"
"Hi," I supply as Obi-Wan turns towards me. I hold out my own hand, though it feels ridiculously tiny when he takes it in his. I stare up at him curiously, his blue-gray eyes looking back at me. That's when it dawns on me that the expression he was giving Anakin was one of surprise and a bit of disbelief, but for me it's just curiosity. I don't understand the reason behind the different reactions, but instead ask a totally different question. "Why you have braid?"
Obi-Wan hesitates for a moment, letting go of my hand. He seems to take a few seconds to understand the question. "All Jedi padawans do," he says finally.
That only makes me more confused. "Pa-what?"
"Padawan," he repeats the strange word, only serving to make me more confused. "It's a type of Jedi," he attempts to explain.
"Type?"
"When Force-sensitives are first found, they become Initiates until they're old enough to become a padawan," Obi-Wan explains, "From there they're trained by a master until they're old enough to become Knights."
"I understand that," offers Anakin, though I still can't. "Maybe." As we talk, Qui-Gon hurries into the cockpit, where the hyperdrive is finally activated. I feel a mixture of relief mixed with longing and regret as the dusty planet is replaced by the white and blue blur of hyperspace. I'm glad to leave it, and leave that creature behind us, but I can't deny the sadness of having to leave Shmi behind. It's plainly unfair for her to be out of our lives so soon.
Now that we're on the move, I can somewhat feel safe again. At least we should be safe out here – even if only temporarily. I don't know what that creature was, but I can only hope we won't see it again. Seeing my serious and worried mood, Anakin pulls me out of the cockpit to look around the ship. Before long, I'm lost in the excitement and wonder of finally seeing a spaceship for the first time in my life.
**w**
Where am I? The worried thought repeats over and over in my mind again. Maybe running around a spaceship that I know nothing about was a bad idea after all, but it's a little too late for regrets now. All I can do is keep running around and hope I find someone who can lead me back to Anakin.
"Are you lost?" Obi-Wan's voice makes me instantly spin around.
"Yes," I confirm, looking up at him, once again struck by the strangeness of my dream last night. He looked and sounded exactly the same. I just know they were the same person, though I can't understand how I could have dreamed about him before I even knew him. "You in my dream," I tell him finally.
Memories replay in my mind, of Anakin warning me over and over to be careful about people – they could hurt me – but this is... fine. I don't see anything wrong with it, and despite remembering distinctly how I called him 'master', he feels... familiar.
A flicker of surprise flashes through his otherwise mostly emotionless expression. "What happened?" he asks, tone betraying a general curiosity. He takes a seat on a bench, and I scramble up to sit next to him.
"I with you," I answer, struggling to find the right words. "In the future... about ten years? We with Anakin. On mission together." Hopefully, that made sense to him. "But I not know you then..."
Obi-Wan nods understandingly. "Sometimes, Jedi have dreams of possible futures."
I blink a few times, quickly interpreting the sentence. For some reason, the realization excites me. "My sister there," I add, hope flooding me. Could that actually happen? I'd known it might on some inner level, but that's not the same as hearing it said for real. The thought of being somewhere with Anakin and Ahsoka is heavenly. I only wonder why it was Obi-Wan there, not Qui-Gon. That's the part that doesn't make sense, but for some reason, I'm still glad. I want to get to know him, though I don't know why.
"Sister?" Obi-Wan inquires.
"Younger sister," I clarify.
He looks like he's considering asking farther, but then decides against it. "Master Qui-Gon sent me to find you. It's getting late, and you should get some sleep before we come out of hyperspace at Coruscant."
I nod dutifully, following him when he heads out of the room. Not long later, Anakin and I are curled side by side in the corner of the main room. I never really noticed at first, but now that we're not moving around, the temperature is freezing. It's probably not that cold, but compared to the normal temperatures of Tatooine, there's a very large difference. Jar Jar and Artoo are the only other ones in the room, the rest having decided to sleep elsewhere.
I feel strangely alone, all thoughts of sleep suddenly vanishing. The lights are dim, which is also strange. I'm not used to there being any light at all when I sleep. The entire atmosphere is confusing and different, and I'm suddenly not sure I can handle it. Sure, it's not really unpleasant, but it painfully reminds me of how I ended up on Tatooine in the first place. The only difference now is that I'm not completely alone. Anakin is here, even if I can't seem to shake the fear of losing him too.
Everything feels cold, and the despair of having left Shmi behind forever sinks over me. There's nothing I can do to hide from it, either. It's a reality hovering over us, and wherever we go we'll take the knowledge with us. Forever. I reach up, taking hold of the necklace Cotan gave me, looking at the intricate design again.
"Where'd you get that?" Anakin quiet voice startles me. I'd honestly thought he was sleeping.
"Cotan. When we left," I answer, leaning against him.
Anakin raises an eyebrow. "I thought he'd be glad to have you gone?"
"Me too." I turn it over in my hands, suddenly noticing a faint stinging in my eyes. I don't understand him, and I probably never will, but as annoying as he was, I almost find myself wishing he was here too. At least it doesn't hurt as much as Shmi. I just wish Anakin had something to remember her by. He definitely deserves it, even more than I do.
Finally, I let my hands fall to my sides, turning slightly to snuggle against Anakin. I don't remember dozing off, only awakening as a faint movement catches my attention. Most people wouldn't have heard, but as a Togruta, I tend to be very sensitive to sounds, especially when I already feel unsafe. It's what keeps us alive on Tatooine.
I open my eyes the slightest amount to see Padme – now dressed in the same orange as the other handmaidens – standing inside the room, next to a table of sorts. She's watching a holorecording of something I can't really hear, but it's very soft. When it turns off, she remains standing there, a concerned expression on her face. She looks tired, all alone like I feel. I bite my lip at the realization, starting slightly when Anakin shifts beside me. I hadn't realized he was awake. Again.
Padme suddenly turns towards us, then heads towards us. "Are you alright?" she inquires softly, crouching in front of us.
"It's very cold," Anakin murmurs.
Padme gets a blanket, laying it over us. "You're from a warm planet. Too warm for my taste. Space is cold." Her expression is gentle and caring, though I can see her concern hidden behind it.
"What wrong?" I ask instantly, curious and partly remembering being told it always helps to talk about it.
"The Queen is worried," she explains, a slight tremor in her voice, "Her people are suffering, dying. She must convince the Senate to intervene... or I'm not sure what will happen." So that's the problem they had been worried about for so long back on Tatooine.
"I'm not sure what's gonna happen to us. I dunno if we'll ever see you again," Anakin murmurs, suddenly reaching into his pocket and withdrawing something. Right, the japor snippet he'd carved. I can't help but feel a stab of jealousy that he'd give it to her but not me, but the feeling instantly disappears when he continues. "I made this for you. So, you'd remember me... us. I carved it out of a japor snippet. It will bring you good fortune."
It's a thing done on Tatooine, sometimes, when friends are too dear to never remember. Everyone loses people all the time. It's only a matter of time, and often, physical reminders of something, of someone, is all that remains. Like Cotan.
She takes the object from him, gently turning it over in her hands much like I'd done with the necklace Cotan gave me earlier.
"You need it," I add forcefully. Given the clearly very bad situation on her planet, all of them there could do with major wishes for luck.
"It's beautiful, but I don't need this to remember you," Padme concedes finally, but puts it on anyway. "Many things will change when we reach the capital, Ani. My caring for you will always remain."
I can't help but feel the stinging in my eyes again. "Thanks."
"I care for you too. Only... I miss..." Anakin trails off, but he doesn't even need to finish. I know what he's thinking. The pain crushing him is hovering over me too, and I know it's always going to remain with us. There is no escape from it. Perhaps it will heal, and fade given time – like losing my parents did – but this is the second time it's happened to me, and I'm going to remember it much clearer. It's going to haunt me forever, even if the decision we made was the right one.
"You miss your mother," Padme realizes. Anakin doesn't say anything, but his expression tells it all. I turn sideways, wrapping my arms around him. Even if we don't have Shmi anymore, or even Kitster, we still have each other. Really, that's all we could ask for. Please, please let me have been right about finding my sister. I need her, and she'll need me, too.
"She my mother too," I mumble.
Padme pulls us both into a hug, and I finally let my emotions run loose, the pain of losing the closest person I know to a parent again. I feel so lost, so helpless, so alone it's unbearable. I don't even know what I'm supposed to do with myself. Even before when I was taken to Tatooine, I was always told what I'm supposed to do. Now I just feel alone. Sure, Anakin's here, but he's about as lost as I am.
I'm glad we're leaving Tatooine behind, though. Our life of slavery can finally be where we want it, and our future will hopefully be nothing but calm from now on out. Maybe even if it's not calm, it at least won't be on the verge of ripping us apart. Maybe, just maybe, now our past can be forgotten. I feel consciousness slipping from me, and Anakin gently readjusting the blankets as he lays down again, pulling me with him. At least, I tell myself again before darkness fills my vision, I'm not completely alone.
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