Chapter Two: As the Living Walk By
Danny sighed through his nose, his eyes following the movements of pedestrians in the street below. He was stretched out on the cushioned window seat of Sam's beautiful penthouse apartment, people-watching through the glass. Sam would have denied that this was a penthouse of course, but it was the nicest apartment Danny had ever been inside of and it was on the top floor of the building. She had gone out of her way to make the place homey, filling it with warm and bright colors. The whole place had plenty of natural light pouring in from big windows and Sam made sure there was always pleasant aromas filling the space, from candles, to incense, to overflowing vases filled with fragrant roses. Despite her best attempts, Danny just still was unable to feel at home here. It filled him with guilt, knowing how hard Sam was trying. But the problem was simply himself, and try as she might, that was something Sam couldn't fix up.
He watched as a mother and her two kids crossed the street, their arms weighed down by overflowing shopping bags. It was still so strange to see how lively the world was, bustling and colorful. People were out all day and night in this area of town, happily shopping and visiting museums and eating with friends. Blissfully unaware of how close death was to them, how it rested in the earth just below their feet, how it hung in the air they breathed. Though it was not the same as Amity, Danny had quickly learned that the living world was filled with plenty of spirits. Invisible to the human eye and too weak to set off his ghost sense, but there nonetheless.
The weak, faint spirits were mostly formless, though sometimes they managed to take the shape of a small animal, like a mouse or bird. Even more rarely, they would resemble a fleeting shadow, just the faint shape of a person. They couldn't really do anything, certainly nothing close to what the ghosts of Amity could achieve, but Danny wondered how no one could even notice when they were constantly surrounded by the spirits. It was strange to think that people could pass through life without feeling their presence, without giving a passing thought to their own human fragility and mortality. Danny supposed that he never had either, until it was too late. And now he was also one of the spirits that people walked past, blissfully unaware of what he was, the things that he had seen.
Danny drew the curtains shut, deciding that he was tired of people-watching for now. He stood up, stretching his back as he did so. His spine crackled with a series of satisfying pops as he inhaled deeply. He relaxed, his arms falling back into place at his sides as he walked to the kitchen to grab a snack. Danny rummaged through the giant fridge, pulling out several take-out containers. Sam had given him his own debit card for him to order food whenever she was gone, but he felt guilty spending her money like that. Leftovers from their dinner a couple nights ago would do just fine. Thinking of Sam made him glance at the time on the stove as he grabbed a fork. 2:34 PM. Sam had been gone for about twenty-four hours.
He decided to forgo reheating the leftovers, sticking his fork into the cold chow mein and eating it as is. As he swallowed, he wondered when Sam would come back. She said she was going to see Aubrey, but obviously she ended up spending the night. Danny frowned, correcting himself mentally. Sam lived with Aubrey in their apartment; she merely visited Danny in this one. He hated himself a bit for how anxious he got when she wasn't here, knowing that it was pathetic and clingy. Sam needed to focus on her own life more, it wasn't right to babysit Danny like she did. He knew it was stressful for her and he knew that he wasn't the most pleasant person to be around lately, but he just couldn't force himself out of the mood he had been in for a couple weeks now. And Sam was so stubborn, she wouldn't listen to him when he told her not to worry so much.
Danny scarfed down the rest of the leftovers before gathering the trash and throwing it into the bin. He needed to get out. His skin was crawling, itching uncomfortably in that way it does when he was in one form for too long. It was hard to find an outlet for his ghostliness these days, confined mostly to being Phantom only inside the apartment. He would fly invisibly at night sometimes, but both he and Sam were still paranoid about him being seen. It didn't help that he had been trying very hard recently to stop using his abilities so instinctually and habitually. The first time Aubrey had come over to the apartment with Sam, Danny had nearly walked through the walls and doors multiple times before catching himself in time. He couldn't help it really, he had gotten so used to drifting in and out of intangibility in Amity that it was second nature. Unfortunately, humans avoid and move around obstacles in their path rather than just phase through them.
Danny let the transformation wash over him, sighing in relief as that skin crawling sensation immediately vanished. He closed his eyes, feeling for any ectoplasmic energy around him. Like usual, there was hardly any to be felt besides his own. After living in an ectoplasm-rich environment for eight years, it was a bit of an adjustment to be deprived of it now. There was only faint, residual energy on occasion, just like those fleeting, weak spirits. Without something like the portal to stabilize it, ectoplasm was rare and largely unstable. Danny was grateful to find that he was apparently able to still generate and maintain his own just fine without the portal, owing to his half-human status most likely. The downside however, was that he felt more depleted and hungry without a surrounding source available. He was eating even more than he did in Amity to compensate, and he always felt just a bit drained. It made him feel unbalanced, but the whole point of coming back was to learn how to be human again anyway, right? He had to keep reminding himself that this was all a huge adjustment.
But for this moment now, it felt nice to be in his ghost form. He drifted through the apartment, hovering several inches above the floor. Danny quietly let himself get lost in thought, wondering once again if he should tell Sam these things. He didn't want to worry her more than she already did, but he also knew she would be livid to know that he was hiding things from her. It's not that he didn't trust her of course, but he just didn't see the point in bringing it up if neither one of them could do anything about it. Besides, Danny found it hard to explain these kinds of things anyway. He would get flustered, trying to translate his experiences into something that could be understood by someone who had no idea what it was like to be a half-ghost. It wasn't Sam's fault, but it was frustrating all the same.
Danny heard the lock turn, and immediately poked his head out into the living room. The door opened and Sam walked in. As soon as they made eye-contact and she saw he was in ghost form she looked concerned.
"Hey." She said, shutting the door behind her. "Were you feeling alright?" She asked, aware that he had been in human form a lot recently. Danny drifted closer to her.
"Yeah, I'm fine. Just need to change for a bit, that's all. How was it with Aubrey?" He asked. Sam smiled, bending down to pull her boots off.
"It was great, we watched a bunch of girly movies that she likes and drank cheap rosé all night." She answered, shrugging her bag off and setting in on the kitchen island. "It was nice to hang out, I feel bad that we haven't really in a while." Sam added.
"That sounds like fun." Danny responded. He noticed her sifting through a stack of mail that she must have picked up on her way in.
"Mm hmm." Sam agreed absently, reading through the pile. "Hey, I thought I would invite Aubrey over for dinner with us soon." She looked up, eyes wide. "You know, to properly introduce you two to each other." Her tone was casual, but Danny could tell she was nervous bringing this up.
"I've already met her." He said warily. "Several times, technically." Sam nodded.
"Yeah, kinda." She said. "But not really." Danny frowned. Sure, their interactions were brief and Danny would quickly retreat to his room when she was over, but Aubrey kinda scared him. He didn't like the curious glint in her eyes, nor the suspicious glances she would make between him and Sam. Suddenly appearing out of the blue and holing up in Sam's room for a couple weeks before moving into this apartment was probably not the greatest first impression.
"Does she want to spend more time with me?" Danny asked, perplexed. "I'm pretty sure she thinks I'm weird."
"Well yeah, but only because you haven't talked to her." Sam said. "If you got to know each other, it wouldn't be so awkward." Danny frowned.
"And what exactly does getting to know each other mean?" He asked, suspicion creeping into his voice. Sam sighed, setting the mail down.
"Danny, it just means that you are the two closest people in the world to me and it would be nice if you both exchanged more than a few passing words to each other. You don't have to talk about yourself at all, just be nice and engage in some small talk." She answered.
"I get the feeling that Aubrey isn't a small talk kind of person." Danny insisted. "She kinda scares me, to be very honest." He added. Sam snorted.
"You've fought ghosts for the better part of a decade, you can't handle a theater kid for a couple hours?" Sam asked, propping a hand on her hip.
"Ghosts don't ask me personal questions." He protested. Sam just gave him a long look, before picking the mail back up.
"I think you'll be fine. I'll make sure she behaves herself." Sam said with a small smile. She pulled the last envelope from the pile, eyes lighting up. "It's here!" She cried out, ripping it open.
"What's here?" Danny asked, momentarily forgetting about Aubrey. Sam held up a cream-colored paper with delicate gold lettering.
"The invite to the Amity Park Demolition Gala." She answered. Danny floated closer to read it himself.
"The one hosted by that millionaire?" He asked, trying to remember the name. It was something Russian, like Viktor or whatever.
"Vlad Masters, the billionaire." Sam corrected. "He's even richer than my family." Danny let out a low whistle, trying and failing to imagine what that level of wealth looked like. He read the date and raised his eyebrows.
"September 30th?" He asked. "That's only two weeks from now. Kinda late for an invite isn't it?" Weren't fancy events like this planned out weeks in advance? Sam smiled sheepishly at him.
"That's because I was already sent mine in August. This one's for you." She answered, holding out the paper to him. "I emailed and asked about an extra invitation. Kinda easy to pull some strings when you're a guest of honor." She said, shrugging.
"Me?" Danny asked, surprised. "Is that a good idea?" He asked dumbly, trying to recall the most formal event he had ever been to in his life. It was probably their eighth grade dance.
"Why not?" Sam asked with wide eyes. "I think it would be good for both of us to go." Danny took the paper from her, reading the whole thing.
"It's in Chicago?" He asked, feeling more and more uncomfortable with the idea by the second. He transformed, dropping to the ground with a small thud. He felt a bit faint.
"Danny, are you alright?" She asked, putting her hand on his shoulder. "I don't want to overwhelm you, I just thought I would get you the invite as an option. You don't have to go." She reassured him. Danny felt guilty immediately for freaking her out. 'God, I'm pathetic.' He thought. He flashed her a tired smile.
"Dinner with Aubrey and a fancy ball in Illinois? You're trying to kill me." He joked lightly, standing straight. Sam eyed him, probably correctly assessing that he was trying to hide his discomfort with humor.
"You're already dead." She joked back half-heartedly, not pressing him. Danny smiled gratefully at her.
"I'll think about it." He promised, not wanting to hurt her feelings. It wasn't a yes, but he could at least consider it. Maybe having a job and trying to be friendlier with Aubrey would be enough to get her to drop the gala idea altogether. As it was, Danny understood that he was a bit of an anti-social mess right now. He would need to make an effort if he wanted Sam to stop meddling on his behalf so much. Sam gave him one last fleeting look of concern before pulling away.
"Okay, you just let me know whenever you decide." She said. Danny nodded, taking a seat in one of the barstools they kept at the kitchen island.
"So when is this dinner with Aubrey going to happen?" He grumbled. There was really no use in resisting; Sam was too stubborn and Aubrey too nosy. Danny wondered which one of them had come up with the idea. He wouldn't be surprised if it were dreamed up by both of them while wine-drunk and giggling.
"Well, we already have plans to see the Lancers this weekend." Sam said, beginning to tick off her fingers. "And then next weekend I'll be flying to Chicago for the gala." Danny groaned.
"I forgot about Lancer." He said. Man, Sam really was trying to kill him. Aubrey, Lancer, new job, the gala, and then school was starting up soon too. It was a lot.
"What would you like to do?" Sam asked. "I know it's a lot of plans for a short amount of time, but it just kills me to see you so bored and cooped up." Danny figured that this served him right for being so moody yesterday. Now Sam was really in overdrive trying to keep him busy. It's not even that he didn't want to get out of the apartment. It was just still hard to be around humans, especially ones that liked to pry. Lancer was kind over the phone, but the idea of having to actually see him in person when he knew about Danny's situation felt weird.
"Is Aubrey free tomorrow night?" Danny asked, rubbing his eyes and trying to stave off his oncoming headache.
"That soon?" Sam asked, surprised. "It can wait, if you'd prefer." He shook his head.
"No, no it's fine. We can get it out of the way." He said, perhaps just a touch rudely. This was Sam's friend, he reminded himself. He needed to play nice.
"But you're starting work the morning after." Sam reminded him gently. Danny waved a hand dismissively.
"It's fine, we'll just start early, around five or so?" He suggested. It's not like he slept all that much most nights anyway. He could handle the early morning just fine. Sam still looked a little unsure, but she nodded in agreement.
"Alright, long as that's okay with you. I'll text her." Sam pulled out her phone and swore. "Ah shit, I need to leave soon." Her face darkened.
"Therapy?" Danny asked sympathetically. At least he wasn't being forced to see a shrink like Sam, that would have been truly miserable. She had been going every two weeks since they first returned from Amity.
"Yeah." Sam grumbled irritably. "I promised my parents I'd go for at least six months, but I'm not sure how much longer I can take it."
"I think you should just stop going." Danny said. "But I'm probably not the best authority when it comes to mental health." He added with a dry grin. Really, if Sam was in need of therapy then he was in need of a straight jacket. A small part of him wondered what Jazz would have to say if she could see him now, but the thought made him sad so he quickly shut it down.
"Believe me, I'm tempted to. But I do actually want to try to fix things with my parents at least." Sam said tiredly. Danny immediately felt a wave of guilt, knowing that he was a big source of strife between her and her parents right now. He was a sore subject and he knew that they were deeply creeped out by his presence. 'Reasonably so', he thought bitterly.
"Don't do that." Sam said, looking at him with sad eyes.
"Don't do what?" He asked.
"Look guilty, like it's your fault." She answered. Danny folded his arms across the counter, resting his head on them.
"Isn't it?" He asked honestly. Sam frowned.
"No, it isn't. There was a lot of stuff between us before you ever entered the picture."
"They never liked me or my family, even before you moved away." He pointed out. Sam rolled her eyes.
"It's not your fault that they're unaccepting and judgemental."
"My parents did nuke their hometown off the map." He retorted.
"Danny." Sam scolded gently.
"I know, I know." He said. "I'm sorry. It's just…" He trailed off. "I feel bad, that's all." Sam bent down, hugging him as he sighed.
"You also saved their daughter from getting killed by a bunch of murderous ghosts." She reminded him. "And you're my best friend." She added. "I'll always want you in my life, no matter what anyone else might think." She stood up, ruffling his hair. "I gotta head out." She said.
"Alright." Danny said quietly. He watched as she gathered her things and put her boots back on.
"I love you." Sam said, hand on the doorknob. "I'll be back in a couple hours."
"I love you too." Danny replied. She gave him one last smile before slipping out the door. Danny stared at the door for a moment, listening as her steps grew faint before disappearing completely. He stood up, pushing himself away from the counter and transforming back into his ghost form. He took a big inhale, shutting his eyes and feeling for ectoplasmic energy once more. This time, he felt his body respond to the presence of it. Unlike before, the apartment was suddenly flushed with a faint spiritual aura other than his own. But as the minutes ticked by, it faded, following the girl it had clung to as she left the building.
It was just one more secret guilt that Danny had carried with him since they returned. While Danny carried physical markers of his time in Amity, from his numerous scars to his ghostly body, Sam had brought back with her an invisible one that even she was unaware of. A constant presence, one that followed her and wrapped around her like a coat. It didn't seem to affect her or bring harm, but it still made him paranoid. Danny feared what it meant, that the town had done something to her, that a weak spirit had attached itself to her on their way out, that it was a lingering pollution from the ectoplasm-rich environment. But his greatest fear was that it was his fault, that his continued presence around her was infecting her, marking her like she was his property. Like his haunt. It made him feel sick to his stomach and contemplate leaving, sparing her from his unnatural influence. But like a coward, he hadn't said anything and he couldn't bring himself to leave.
Danny wrapped his arms around himself, finding his thoughts were growing increasingly anxious. What if he and Sam were wrong? What if he just never acclimated to the living world? It was naive, but a part of him had wondered as they left Amity if his ghostliness would fade along with the rest of the town's spirits. But months later, and it was obvious that was a stupid thing to expect. His body was self-sustaining even without the portal, irreversibly inhuman. And the more humans that Sam tried to introduce into his life, the more intensely Danny felt that truth. The initial joy of escaping Amity had faded, revealing that Danny just did not fit into this world.
He opened his eyes, exhaling and trying to calm himself. He promised that he would try, he reminded himself. For Sam's sake, he had to stop jumping to these conclusions. It was an adjustment and it would take time. Maybe things would get better, maybe they would get easier. Even if he could see and feel things that other humans couldn't, even if he had freaky supernatural abilities, he could at least try. Forge some human connections, finish school, have a job and be a functioning member of society. Even if it made him feel alone and alien, he would try. For Sam.