Edward's POV

I stared after the car as Alice drove Bella home. If possible, I felt even worse today than I had yesterday. What Bella had gone through… It was worse than anything I could have ever imagined. Bella looked so broken when she told Alice everything. Especially when she had told her what happened at the end with Victoria. She thought it was her fault that those people were killed, that a 14-year old boy was gravely injured. She had willingly gone to her own death, in the hope of everyone else's lives being spared. I shouldn't even be surprised… Bella had been all too willing to go to James to protect her mother. That she had been put in a horrific situation like that again, was too much to bear. No one was saying anything, after what we had heard. But their thoughts were all too loud for me.

Teenage werewolves, Victoria, Laurant, 20 dead people, almost killed a 14-year old, poor Bella, it was a mistake, we made it worse, we never should have left her….

Their thoughts were all mixing together and I could barely differentiate one's thoughts from the others. But it didn't matter, as they were all basically thinking the same until-

But how did she not turn after Victoria bit her? Carlisle's thoughts were turning more medicinal and theoretical. Could her body have created antibodies after James's bite? Or did the pack of wolves somehow draw out the poison from her neck? I wonder how the wolves' bodies would react to werewolf poison?

Rosalie's thoughts became apparent to me after one word; leechlover. They fucking called her a leechlover and considered letting her get killed, because of her association to us. That's just cruel, even for a pack of temperamental werewolves!

Esme was thinking more about the future, about the last thing that came from Bella's mouth before the car was out of earreach. Will the police really come for her? They, or anyone for that matter, will ask questions if they see her injured like that. Can we get her to stay here with us for a while? Maybe we can convince her to stay at the downtown apartment for a while, at least until she is feeling better physically.

"That may not be a bad idea, Esme," I sighed. "I doubt she would be comfortable here, but in the apartment she would have her own space, without us hovering around her. It's also closer to the school and the area where I'm guessing she lives, if she has to go home for something."

"Oh, you're thinking about setting her up at Kingwood street?" Emmett said, catching on to our conversation. Emmett and Rosalie were probably the ones who had used the apartment most frequently. As there wasn't much privacy in the house because of our superb hearing, it was good having a place to go where others couldn't hear what you were doing. It was mostly used by the couples in more intimate circumstances. I hadn't even seen the place in more than a decade.

"Yes, too many people will ask questions about Bella's appearance. If we want the police to not suspect Bella, she should probably stay out of sight for a few days," Esme explained. "I can go shopping and stock the place up with more human supplies."

"That would probably be good, Esme," I said, giving my mother a small smile. "We don't know if she'll even want to stay there, but it'll be good having it ready, just in case."

Esme approached me, giving me a tight hug and a kiss on the cheek.

"It'll all work out, Edward. I'm sure it will," Esme said empathically, before exiting the house and driving off.

"I'm sure Alice will keep an eye on an oncoming investigation, but maybe we should go to the frathouse to get an idea of what is going on now?" Jasper said, looking between me and the others.

"Yeah, it'll be good to be ahead of anything happening," I sighed.

"Should I call Alice and suggest taking Bella to the apartment?" Carlisle asked me.

"She has probably already seen it," Jasper said, chuckling. "But send her a text, just in case."

Bella's POV

We parked in front of the uni hall, and I exited the car pulling the hood of my jacket up over my head. Surprisingly, Alice followed me out of the car and took my arm as we went inside.

"No one is coming down the hall, for at least a couple of minutes," Alice said, even though she swiftly dragged me to my room. "And your room is empty at the moment."

"It always is, at least when I'm not there. I don't have a roommate, luckily," I sighed, and began unlocking my door.

"I thought it was customary to share these kinds of rooms?" Alice said, looking confused.

"It normally is… I've had a few roommates, but none lasted very long," I said as we entered my messy room. It was as messy as it had been when I left it yesterday, with clothes on the floor, and an empty cup next to the bottle of rum. I threw myself on the bed, feeling absolutely exhausted. Alice was looking around the sparse room, for anything indicating that it belonged to me. Her hand was running over my bookshelf frowning slightly. I had a good idea what she was thinking. None of my old favorite books were there, like Romeo and Juliet or Wuthering Heights. I hadn't read any romance novels in years, preferring more darker themed books now. Mystery, crime, dystopian and war books were now the majority of my collection. Furthermore, there was an abundance of sociology and psychology books, some for school, others just for fun.

My phone started ringing and I pulled it out of my pocket with a sigh. It was Amber, again! She was probably just worried about me, but I didn't have the mental energy to come up with an excuse for her. How was I even supposed to begin to explain what was wrong with me? I declined the call, and buried my head in the pillow groaning.

"Your friend will come knocking in about 15 minutes," Alice sighed, sitting down on the edge of my bed, stroking my back.

"I can't let her see me like this! She will immediately know I have been attacked, when she sees my face," I sighed.

"Look, I know you don't want to come to our house… But we own an apartment in town that we barely ever use. You can stay there for a few days, or at least until you look less… Battered," Alice finished awkwardly.

"I really don't want to be an inconvenience-" I murmured, before Alice interrupted me.

"You are never an inconvenience, Bella! We want to help you any way we can, and as I said, it's rarely in use. We can also pay for a hotel room for you, if that makes you feel more comfortable. But I don't think you can stay here," Alice insisted.

"A hotel is even worse," I groaned. "I don't want you to waste your money on me!"

"The apartment it is then," Alice said smiling. I scowled as I realized how she had tricked me into almost agreeing. She had done this before they had left, back in Forks. She would take me shopping, pushing me to agree to receive some expensive item. When I was opposed to it, she would push another even more insanely expensive item on me, until I agreed to the first. Even after three years she still knew me too well. She threw a bag at me, encouraging me to start packing, as she pulled her phone out.

"Yeah, I'll take her to Kingwood street! We'll be there in about 25 minutes," she said to the person on the other side, as I started picking clothes off the floor and putting it into the bag. I grabbed a bunch of turtlenecks as they would be good at hiding some of the bruises, and also jeans, sweatpants and flannels. Alice grabbed my toiletries and put them in the bag as well, before she was distracted by a picture on my desk that had been hidden under some clothes mere seconds ago. She picked it up, staring at the picture from Charlie and Sue's wedding this summer. In the picture were the newlyweds and our merged family; Seth, Leah and me were smiling at the camera next to our parents.

"Your dad got married?!" Alice said, running a hand over the picture of my stepsiblings.

"Yeah," I said, trying to sound casual. "He got married to Sue just this summer, so it's still pretty new. But I'm very happy for my dad! I didn't like him being so alone after I moved out."

"And hers, Sue's kids, are they…?" Alice said, staring at me while I squirmed.

"Yes, they are wolves…" I sighed, before pointing at them. "That's Seth, and that's Leah. I call them my stepwolves," I chuckled.

"The boy who Victoria almost killed?! And the girl who blamed and yelled at you for it?" Alice exclaimed, continuing to stare at me.

"Yeah, but things are way better between us! Well, Seth has always been super sweet and easygoing, so that has never been a problem. And Leah felt really bad about the whole… Victoria thing. As I told you she was the one who ripped Victoria off of me. It was slightly awkward between us for a while, but she has been doing better these last one or two years," I said, shrugging, as I plucked the picture out of Alice's hands and put it back on my desk.

"Does Charlie know about the whole… werewolves, and vampires, existing?" Alice asked awkwardly. I started laughing a bit at that thought.

"Oh no, most of the wolves' own parents don't even know what they are. Well Sue does, as she is part of the 'inner circle' and Jacob's dad Billy knows, but it is still a pretty well hidden secret in La Push," I explained, while closing the bag and swinging it over my shoulder.

"That must be… hard for them… Their own parents not even knowing," Alice said quietly as she led me out of the halls, without being noticed.

"Yeah, it hasn't been easy for them… Several have gotten in trouble or grounded, because of their 'wolf' duties, as they can't tell their parents what they are actually doing," I sighed as we got into the car.

"It mustn't have been easy for you either… Not being able to tell Reneé or Charlie about us, or James or Victoria," Alice said guiltily.

"Yes, it was… hard. I was so scared that Victoria was going to kill Charlie at some point. Billy and Harry kept inviting Charlie to La Push for fishing trips or dinner, as it was safest in that area, but he also had a job to do, that included investigating all the killings," I murmured.

"I can't believe I didn't see it! Any of it! I wasn't specifically looking into your future anymore, as Edward had asked me not to, but I assumed if something bad happened, that it would still show up," Alice said, giving me a sad look. The thought of Edward, being against Alice keeping an eye on me hurt, but I didn't say anything. I understood that he didn't love or care about me any longer, and therefore probably didn't feel the need to know everything I was doing.

"Oh, wait! My bike," I exclaimed, seeing my motorcycle parked in the back mirror.

"Well, you won't need it! You can't really go anywhere looking like that," Alice argued.

"I like to use it just to blow off some steam! And I think I'll definitely need that, being locked up in an apartment for days," I shot back.

"Fine! Just leave the keys in the engine, and I'll have Jazz bring it over later," Alice sighed, as I jumped out to my car and left the keys by my bike.

"When did you find out I was here in New York?" I asked Alice, when I entered the car again.

"Just this wednesday. You showed up late for the Anthropology class that Jazz and Em was also in. They told us all about it all after," Alice said, driving out into the street.

Oh no, that day I had overslept after staying with some random guy… I hoped they hadn't heard my conversation with Amber. I could feel a blush creeping up my face, as I realized they could probably hear every conversation in the classroom, without even trying.

"Can I ask you something?" Alice asked hesitantly, seeing my red face.

"Shoot," I sighed, while preparing for the worst.

"Do you drink often?"

That wasn't the specific question I had feared, but I could see how it all related.

"I'm in college. We all drink," I shrugged, trying to sound casual.

"Fine, but is it common that you drink to the point of not remembering who you go home with?" Alice said, with a slight edge in her tone. That was the question I had been fearing. It had been bad enough, when Jacob had questioned me about my bad habits or vices as he had started calling it, but it was even worse being questioned by an ex-boyfriend's sister.

"From time to time," I answered, still trying to sound casual. "But I don't see how that is any of your concern." I crossed my arms over my chest in a defensive way.

"I just don't think it's healthy, nor safe, to sleep around with any guy-" Alice said, before I interrupted her.

"Don't you dare give me bullshit about the way I live my life, or who I fuck around with. That's my business, and has nothing to do with you or your family," I snapped back at her.

"I just don't think you should let random guys use you like that. You're better tha-"

"USE ME?! So because I'm a chick, that has to mean I'm the one being used? Has it ever occurred to you that maybe I'm the one using those men for easy sex? That maybe, I prefer casual hookups instead of all that lovey-dovey bullshit? That I'm the one who doesn't return their calls, or leaves in the morning before they get a chance to wake up?" I raged at her.

I hated this whole debate; it was all gender stereotypes and old sexism, about how men wanted sex and women wanted love.

Alice just stared back at me looking confused and unsure of how to respond. I just huffed and began staring out of the window. Soon after we parked in front of some upper class apartment building and I was immediately regretting my decision to come here. It's only for a day or two, I said to myself before slowly exiting the car, and following Alice, though from a small distance. I was still feeling pretty pissed at her. A fucking doorman opened the door for us, which made me roll my eyes when he couldn't see it. Who the hell needed a man to open and close doors for them? Rich people, I thought, sighing as we went into the elevator.

"Let me take your bag for you, Bella," Alice said, reaching out towards it.

"I can take care of myself, thanks," I said sharply, staring into the elevator's walls as we ascended. Of course, their apartment is at the very top, I thought as we exited the elevator and Alice started walking towards one of the few doors on this floor.

She opened the door, without even unlocking it, which confused me for a second until we entered the apartment and saw Esme in there restocking the kitchen. It looked like she had bought enough food to feed an entire family for a month.

"Bella! Sweetie," she said, rushing towards me and giving me a hug. God, I had missed Esme! She was like the mother I'd never had. Not that I hadn't had a mother, I obviously had Reneé. But my own mother had in a lot of ways always been more like an irresponsible sister, and I had to be the one in charge, the adult or the parent. Even when I had lived with my dad, I still had to be the one to cook, clean or garden. It had been surprisingly refreshing moving into my own place, where I could just be myself and do whatever I wanted, without having to worry about the effect it had on others.

"What do you want to eat, honey?" Esme asked, examining my thin and tired face. "You must be absolutely starving! You haven't had anything to eat all day!"

Even though I hadn't eaten today, and almost only had alcohol yesterday, I wasn't feeling very hungry. More than anything I felt nauseous and my headache had only gotten worse throughout the day, with all the crying or fighting.

"I'm actually not really hungry, Esme," I said sluggishly, giving her a small smile. She put an arm around my shoulder and pulled me into the living room, placing me on the couch before stowing pillows under my head and a thick blanket over my body.

Soon the TV was on my favorite channel in front of me and a bowl of ice cream was sitting in my lap. I almost wanted to cry from how nice it felt to be taken care of like this. I felt like a sick child being mothered, while having to stay home from school. God, I had missed Esme!

"If there is anything you need, don't hesitate to call me," Esme said, as she kissed my forehead and left out the door. Alice carefully sat down next to my feet on the couch, and didn't say anything for a while as I just dozed in front of the TV. She was gently rubbing my feet, before she turned down the volume on the TV and started talking.

"I'm sorry, Bella! I shouldn't have tried to chastise you or told you how you should live your life, that wasn't okay. I was just surprised, to be honest, but I know it has been years and you are not the same person anymore and-"

"It's fine, Alice!" I interrupted her, with a small smile. "I know I got pretty mad… You just aren't the first person to give me that talk, and it just annoys me, that as soon as I'm not being overly responsible or careful, people will try and correct me! Maybe I don't want the life that everyone else wants. Maybe I don't want a boyfriend, or to get married and have children, and have to be the sensible parental figure again! Sometimes I just want the easy way without all the trouble and heartache and-" I stopped myself, before saying something I would only regret later.

"I understand," Alice said quietly. "Or at least I think I do… Esme and Rose both have always wanted certain things, like children, and I couldn't quite understand why. Maybe because they could remember their human lives or certain experiences they had, I'm just different."

"Yeah, we are all shaped by our experiences," I sighed. "Look I know my mom loves me, but I also know, in a way, that I was a mistake. That my mom regrets getting married and having a kid, before she herself was barely a grownup. Before she had a chance to get an education or travel or find out who she actually was. It was just always tough in my childhood, there was never enough money or time for me, I had to take care of everything from a way too young age, because I knew if I didn't we would end up on the street! I love being by myself, that I can be independent, that my actions don't affect other people around me, that I can live my life without having to constantly worry!"

"I- I get that… I just wish there was someone there who, sometimes, could take care of you! Someone you could share your worries and troubles with," Alice said sympathetically.

"But things don't always work out like that, Alice! Do you know how hard it is when that one person you thought you could finally open up to, gets bored with you and leaves? That the family, you thought you had finally found, doesn't want you in it anymore? I'm not going to search for another person like that, when I know that in the long run they won't want me around! It's just easier to be by myself, to not rely on other people like that. I hated having to rely on the pack, seeing their lives get turned upside down or ruined, just to keep me alive! I hated not being able to go where I wanted or do what I wanted to, without my life being at risk," I said as tears started filling my eyes.

"But the motorcycle and all these other dangerous things you do-"

"They are my choices! If I get hurt doing it, I only have myself to blame! I can try my entire life to be careful or scared, but even with that, I can still get hit by a car in the school parking lot, or get assaulted on my way back from a fucking bookstore! Situations in which I have absolutely no control over, and can't do shit about!" I cried at her, feeling my entire body starting to shake.

"I'm not going to be dependent on another person like that ever again! To have someone else hold my life in their hands, or at the very least be that influential in my life, is too goddamn hard! Then I'd rather be by myself… Making my own decisions and being in control of my own life."

Alice gulped and looked down at her own hands, unsure of how to respond to my tirade. I tried taking a few deep breaths to calm myself. I was way too tired to argue, again, today. I turned the volume back on on the TV and dozed off again, blinking up at the ceiling.