Traditions and Sacrifices
The next few days were difficult. David stopped acting like a friend and brother figure and fully embraced the role of jilted suitor, Miss Alice spent more time than usual in solitary prayer, and it seemed that everyone in the Cove knew the circumstances of my upcoming wedding. Through it all, I relied on frequent prayers for strength and the soul of my future husband- and when that wasn't quite enough to calm my nerves, I recalled the look on his face when I told him I wanted to stay with him in Cutter Gap.
He'd looked surprised at first, but as realization dawned, Neil's expression was completely transformed by happiness. It was humbling to understand that I could have such an impact on another person's life, especially someone as dear to me as he was. I told myself that I held the key to another moment like that, the day I had enough courage to tell him I loved him.
Christy Huddleston MacNeill,
Journals and recollections
"David did what?" Christy almost dropped the plate of food she'd been carrying to the table.
"I don't believe he realized those objections would just make Bogg dig in deeper!" Miss Alice said, taking the platter from Christy's nerveless fingers. "David does not understand that by pushing his opinions so vehemently, he often reinforces the traditions of the Cove, instead."
"I don't think he ever looks at a destination and thinks the long way is the best choice," she agreed.
"That is an astute observation," her mentor said. "David Grantland has many years ahead of him, as do you. Both of thee will learn better paths, in the course of that living." Miss Alice traced her hand over one side of her hair to check it for loose pieces, a wry smile on her face. "It was fortunate that his standing invitation to preach at Lufty Branch was moved up a few weeks."
"Very fortunate," Christy agreed, laying out the last of the fourth table setting for dinner. She'd had to accept that the David she relied on was hurt in a way she specifically couldn't fix, and it might be quite some time before things returned to normal, if ever. He'd been grateful to accept the offer from Lufty Branch, and in his absence, the morning's service had been canceled in favor of the wedding at noon. There hadn't been much time to think about that, not with finding an acceptable outfit among the clothes she'd brought, helping to organize the food for the reception, and packing her things in preparation to move out of the Mission.
Most unexpected of all were the handful of people eager to lend her items for her special day, which was a touching surprise. Christy had carefully documented each one, keenly aware of how precious they were. They certainly helped her avoid dwelling on the unknowns of the life she was about to embark on.
Miss Alice interrupted her reverie. "In David's absence, given his oft-stated opinion on this subject, I wish to ask thee one last time to reconsider using the telephone to inform thy parents of tomorrow's event?"
"Excuse me, but the time. I need to keep these skills sharp," Christy said, heading into the kitchen to pull the two pies from the oven instead of answering. One was for after dinner, the other was for the reception.
"Thy cooking is not at issue here," Miss Alice said mildly from the doorway.
"I can't do it," Christy said. The reasons rose up in her throat, but she fought back their obstruction to elaborate, waving the hot mitt above that night's pie to aid in cooling it. "Even if I'd called my parents right away, just knowing about this could put my father in a lot of stress. I'd never forgive myself if that increased his recovery time." His stroke had been an inflection point for the family, and it was Neil's skill and patience that had given them all hope. Even so, there was a big difference between being a person's doctor and marrying into the family. "It's not that they don't like him," she hurried to say.
"Any parent would be alarmed to be given so little warning."
"Yes, exactly!" she said, feeling the extra energy that being defensive always infused her with. "I love my parents, but even if they could come in time, they'd spend every minute they had persuading me to come home with them. This ceremony isn't just mine, Miss Alice. I can't do that to him."
Avoiding her future husband's name at the last minute was an act of self preservation. Every reference to Neil was charged with emotional energy, churning her stomach, firing her blood, and scrambling her senses. Christy busied herself with the finishing touches on the pies to calm and distract herself.
The silence that followed felt enough like condemnation that she added, "I'll invite them up in a month or two, when I have proof that their fears are unfounded."
Sliding the pie on a solid wooden serving tray, she picked it up and turned to walk it over to the table. In front of her, Miss Alice stood with the tips of her fingers pressed to her lips, eyes shining.
"You love him!"
Snow had been rare and precious in Christy's childhood. One of her strongest memories of being frightened and pleased at the same time was standing outside in a freezing gale, watching giant snowflakes swirl into the footprints she'd made just by walking out her front door. This was a similar moment.
"Please don't say anything to Neil," she whispered. "He'll think it's out of obligation or a falsehood- and it's not, not that I've said it out loud, yet."
Miss Alice shook her head in a way that looked like she was persuading herself as much as reassuring her. She stepped forward and took the serving tray, walking as though in a trance out to the table.
Christy followed her and found her mentor standing with her hands still positioned beside the tray she'd just set down, clearly shaken. "Miss Alice?"
"Joy," Miss Alice said. She turned, clasping her hands in front of her lips for a moment. "Joy is in thy future. I am pleased for you both. I had feared- but seeing you and Neil as a pair, as yourselves, separate and apart from what came before? Christy, it is a healing thing. A healing thing."
Christy rushed into her arms. Every anxious moment related to Miss Alice's possible reaction since the edict felt smudged and distant, with this affirmation. "I didn't want to hurt you. If I could have stopped myself from-"
"Shhhh, shhh, I am glad thee did not. This is all as it should be, as life has always been: wondrous, confusing, and complicated."
A tapping at the front door interrupted the moment.
After taking a second to step away from their hug, Christy went to find Dan Scott waiting outside. Their planned dinner guest was holding a large rectangular wooden box that he lifted in greeting.
"Evening, Miss Christy. This here is a wedding loan from Miss Hattie, but she wants to make certain you know you're not obligated to use it unless you want to."
"Well that's unexpected, come on in!" she said. Dan set the box on a chair a few steps from the door, and twisted the latch to open it.
Inside was a mass of delicate shell-blue and ivory fabric. At his encouraging nod, Christy started to lift what turned out to be an exquisite antique dress. The bodice was ivory with a curved vee of light blue ruched ribbon and a line of pearl-colored buttons from the neckline. As she pulled the rest of the dress out of its box, the cheerful smell of cedar accompanied the reveal of the skirt, which was ivory with a mirrored undulation of the shell-blue ribbon design coming up from the hem, and lines of the buttons leading down from the waist.
"I feel like I shouldn't even touch this!" Christy gasped.
"I must say, Miss Huddleston, Miss Hattie showed me what was under the lid, but I'm as stunned as you to see the whole of it!" Dan said.
"Oh, Christy!" Miss Alice said from the doorway to the dining room. "Have you seen the back?"
She hadn't, caught as she was by the clever way the dress had hung rich-looking lace from half-sleeves adorned by a rosette of ribbon. Lace was incredibly precious in the mountains, hand-made and fragile as it was. With Dan's help, they turned the dress, its hem still safely in its box- and that's when Christy saw what Miss Alice had meant.
The dress was old enough to still have the remnants of a bustle, though this one seemed more to emphasize the wearer's waist. The blue curls of ribbon that lined the waist-edge of the bodice turned into a frame for a matching blue panel. It draped down from the back where a bustle would have been, turning into a small train.
"I don't know what to say," Christy said.
"Well, go on, hold it up to you!" Miss Alice said, taking over as Dan stepped back respectfully. "Oh," the older woman said, as they carefully turned the dress around again.
"What is it? I hope I didn't damage it any on the walk over."
"No, no, thou hast delivered a treasure, Dan. I was recalling; after the war, it wasn't uncommon for southern scavengers to sell soot-damaged dresses and other articles, to reclaim the fabric," Miss Alice said, kneeling at Christy's feet to smooth her hand along the hem of the dress. "It takes a keen eye, but I can see where some of this had been sewn and then meticulously unpicked to be used again. What a masterpiece of tailoring if so, don't you think, Christy?"
Christy was full of emotion. Gratitude, astonishment, guilt, and a million others were all clamoring for her attention like the children on a fresh school day. "I feel ashamed of my surprise," she murmured. She never would have expected to see something so fancy in Cutter Gap.
Miss Alice stood and took the dress gently, holding it to Christy's chest. "I think it would fit."
"Dan, I-"
"You should have seen her. She knew right where it was in her closet. Each box had ribbon, fabric, or a, a marking on it that she could run her hands over- all but that one. Miss Hattie knew that one by the box itself." He looked from Christy's stunned face to the dress. "Last thing she told me was what I said when I walked in here: 'only use it if you want to. But if you want to, it's no disrespect, and an honor besides.' As for me, I'm happy I got to be here to see your reaction, so I can tell her about it."
"I can hear something bubbling over in the kitchen," Miss Alice said, quickly holding a hand when Christy started to fold the dress back into its box. "-no, Christy, let me handle it. Before I go: you should wear the dress. Miss Hattie is universally adored here in the Cove, and a close relative to Neil. This is quite a sign of approval!"
oOoOoOo
Christy woke with the sun on her wedding day. She got up and grabbed her robe, tying it around her and setting her braided hair on her shoulder as she walked out onto the balcony to appreciate the view.
At this time tomorrow, her life would be vastly different.
She shivered. It wasn't the 'cold feet' she'd heard about from one of her acquaintances before leaving Asheville. This was more about the unknown, about nervous hope. When she'd contemplated marriage with David, there were fewer variables. They'd shared countless meals, long talks about God, and dreams of how to improve things for Cutter Gap. She knew his morning habits, some of his favorite foods… but she also knew his impatience, his selective selfishness, and his stubborn inability to bow to the knowledge of people with less material wealth but more life experience.
In contrast, she knew far less about what it might be like living with Neil. Did all his food come from fishing and bartering for medical care? Would she spend fully half the year worrying about his safety as he traveled across the mountains for emergencies?
She already knew Neil was kind, despite his temper, and he was wonderful with children. Her friend Amity had acquiesced to a mostly arranged marriage after a good deal of praying and soul-searching. It was her experience that Christy had highlighted to David, as Amity was a mother now, and a happy one at that. Mostly a stranger at first, Amity's husband had proven to be a good man, a gentle husband, and an amiable father. Amity had been given a lot of warning and advice before their wedding day, though.
How much would Neil expect Christy to know about being a wife?
About all aspects of being a wife?
She covered her suddenly hot cheeks with her hands and closed her eyes. Neil had said the children were 'born knowing' about lovemaking, given their close quarters… but she only had a vague idea, with no one to speak to about it. Miss Alice was already far too generous to Christy so soon after her daughter's death, and it seemed almost disrespectful to bring up such intimate things to anyone else. As the Cove's doctor, Neil's privacy was important.
"Christy?" The voice belonged to Miss Alice.
Christy crossed the room to open the bedroom door, reaching her hand out to trace it across her loaned wedding dress on the way. "Good morning! You can come in, or I can get dressed first, if you like?" she asked, standing back to give the other woman space to walk in.
"No need," Miss Alice said, stepping past her and walking over to admire the dress before turning to look at her. "I came to offer help, if thee should require, before the ceremony."
Her voice was achingly vulnerable, enough to pull the beginnings of tears to Christy's eyes.
"I have Fairlight coming. I couldn't do that to you."
"It was important to me to offer."
"I love you, Miss Alice. I wish I could make all of this easier on you," Christy said. "I'm still figuring out how to feel, myself. No matter what happens, I'll be disappointing my parents- and what little I know about marriage, I learned back in Asheville." She reached up to play with the end of her braid nervously. "Most of the things in my Hope Chest would be useless here."
"Do you think Neil would want the kind of wife you learned to be in Asheville?"
"No."
"You've come upon the dilemma most women face at some point: whether to be a good daughter or a good wife. It is not always possible to be both at all times, a lesson that is painfully learned by both mother and daughter alike," Miss Alice said. She reached back out to run her fingertips along the blue ribbon on Miss Hattie's dress, then pulled a small, flat package from her apron. "I have brought you this. I'd bought it long ago, with multiple possible uses. This morning I realized that it would serve best as a veil for thee."
Christy's breath caught as she unwrapped the paper and found a delicate oval of intricate lace. Speechless, she turned to lay it out on the bedspread, blinking in further surprise when Miss Alice set two hairpins adorned with pearl buttons beside it.
"I saw the buttons on Hattie's dress and thought of these. When I found them, I also found this," she said, touching the lace gently. "It felt like I'd been led to."
"Thank you so much. Everyone's been so generous, I'm beside myself." A thought occurred, and she said, "It's Neil, isn't it? This is a chance to show their gratitude!"
"Do not discount those women's care for you, Christy. Every parent in the Cove can see thy positive influence."
They spoke for a while longer before Miss Alice left to oversee the rest of the cooking for the reception later.
As planned, Christy dressed in a more mundane outfit for the morning's preparations. There was still time yet, so after smoothing out her bedspread, she laid out the various tokens that had been lent to her. There was a sturdy comb that would keep her hair in place for hours, a bar of beautiful-smelling soap to wash with before the ceremony, a little sachet of flower petals to pin under her clothes as a remembrance, and most poignantly, two pieces of quilted fabric meant to aid in painless shoe-wearing. It was a thoughtful gift, given by someone who had probably never been able to choose their shoes based on whether they fit.
Impulsively, she draped the dress next to the other items, then knelt beside it to pray for each of the women who'd sought to make her last-minute wedding more special. Christy then prayed for David, Miss Alice, and Neil, thanking the Lord for allowing each of them in her life, and for placing her in theirs.
It seemed wrong on her wedding day to pray for her soon-to-be husband to change, to become a believer, so instead she prayed to prove worthy of the challenge of being a doctor's wife. There would be ample time to soften his heart.
oOoOoOo
"Miss Christy, it's like fate!" Ruby Mae cried out when Christy walked down the last few stairs in her borrowed dress. "That blue matches your eyes jes' perfectly!"
"Thank you! If I remember right, it matches Miss Hattie's eyes too."
"She looks like a painting," Fairlight said approvingly. She started to open the Mission door, and spoke to Ruby Mae. "Go on 'n tell Miss Hattie it's time to start singin' in jes' a bit."
Ruby Mae nodded so vociferously that two different flowers fell out of her hair. Fairlight picked one up after the young woman had run off, handing it to Christy to tuck into the sweet little bouquet of wildflowers she was to hold during the wedding. Neil had picked them for her, and he had to have gone all over the place to get them, given the varieties. One had almost certainly come from the cove Neil had shown her a few days prior.
It wasn't a long walk to the clearing they'd chosen for the event. Unexpectedly, the children had lined up to guide the way, all with grins on their faces and flowers to throw at her feet. As she passed, each fell in behind, so Christy had a whole entourage by the time she could see the rest of the Cove assembled in the clearing. Their display was just what she'd needed, especially the little whispered comments they made to each other about her dress, the wedding itself, how pretty she was, how nervous Neil looked, and so on.
Fairlight sent the children on ahead to stand with their families when they were just feet away from the 'aisle' she'd walk through. She showed Christy how to hook a loop of the lace around the comb in her hair to hold it back when it was time.
"Thank you so much," Christy said to her, heart as full as it ever had been in her life. The song Miss Hattie had been singing ended, and when she started the next one, Christy made her way to the proper place and started walking slowly toward where Neil was waiting for her.
When she got to him, Neil lifted the veil, and he looked so pleased that her heart flipflopped in her chest. Christy helped him secure it to her hair, and then they stood looking at each other for a long moment. She felt his admiring gaze sizzle over her, tracing down her dress and up over her face, stopping to meet her eyes. She felt both starved for air and like she had the whole clearing's worth of it trapped in her lungs.
They stood staring for so long that Uncle Bogg cleared his throat loudly, and many of the assembled crowd laughed.
"Who brings this woman to present her to us?" Uncle Bogg said next.
Christy's heart sank. She'd done so much work to prepare, but she hadn't thought of this, and there wasn't anyone to-
"I do," Jeb Spencer said, stepping into the aisle.
"So do I," Rob Allen declared, doing the same.
"Me!" "I do!" "The lot of us, 'seems like!" the voices chorused.
She couldn't resist turning around, and when she did, Christy almost stumbled back into Neil's sturdy arm behind her. Almost all of the men of the Cove had stepped forward, even some of the older male students. She had her own personal army of father and brother figures to make up for her dear father's absence.
"I reckon that counts," Bogg said, a tiny glimpse of humor seeping into his 'officiant' voice.
That wasn't the only surprise of the ceremony. When Bogg inquired about rings, Christy was expecting Neil to have rings made of straw as a stand-in, or some other such makeshift option, since they hadn't much warning.
Instead, he dipped his hand into the breast pocket of his suit coat and pulled out a small pouch. Neil dumped two rings of varied size out onto his hand, offering them to Uncle Bogg. All Christy could do was stare up at Neil in barely-concealed astonishment for a few seconds, before she was obligated to speak her actual vows.
The look in his eyes as she did so was verging on mischievous, or at the very least, delighted at her surprise. Only the act of sliding the larger of the two rings onto his finger sobered his expression. She took some pride in that.
Then it was Neil's turn for vows, and Christy fully understood his earlier tense body language. Her heart was soaring so high she was convinced if she didn't curl her toes inside her shoes, she'd float away as she watched him say those powerful words. She had to drag her eyes away from being locked to his when he slipped the ring onto her finger…
…and then she saw the ring.
It was a thin, delicate gold band adorned with a small ice-blue gemstone. Along both sides, the band twisted in an intricate swirl that framed two iridescent milk-white stones. Just like Hattie's dress, this antique, valuable item had likely been hiding away, waiting for its chance to shine at just the right moment.
Suddenly shy, Christy could only watch Bogg continue with the ceremony, weaving a pristine white length of thin cloth around their hands to symbolize their binding. Neil squeezed hers, and she squeezed back, genuinely afraid that he'd be able to guess her feelings if she met his eyes. Finally, the cloth was gently pulled free, and Bogg set a heavy hand on both of them, turning them to face the assembled crowd as he pronounced them man and wife.
Right afterwards, Uncle Bogg's voice changed to a less solemn tone as he welcomed everyone to the feast set up closer to the Mission building.
"Ain't no kiss yet!" someone called out in objection. A few other voices joined, and soon there was a collective outcry. "Not official till the kiss, Bogg!" one of the older Cove members yelled.
"Get on with it, then. I'm hungry!" Bogg told them, grinning.
Christy wanted to hide somehow. Everyone was watching.
"Christy?" Neil said softly. She nodded, pressing her lips together unconsciously as she turned toward him. "Don't worry, it won't hurt," he teased, stepping closer.
"Neil!" she gasped- and that's when he bent his head to kiss her, capturing her gasp and taking advantage of it. Christy heard cheering behind them, but she was busy grabbing onto his jacket to hold on as a thrill traveled through her from lips to toes and back again. Neil slid his hand to the back of her neck and leaned her backwards just slightly, resting his other hand at her back to brace her. It was a move obviously meant to show off for their audience, but it also angled their lips in a way that magnified the pleasure of it. She let out a little sound, and he pulled her to his chest, ending the kiss with a hug.
She was thrilled and embarrassed and confused and a hundred other unnamed emotions, but the one Christy hadn't expected was the feeling of safety in his arms.
"Go on, ye've spooked her!" Neil yelled out. She felt as much as heard the words, letting out a breath that she knew he could sense, as he rubbed comfort over her back. "Are you all right?" he finally asked her.
Christy nodded, trusting he'd feel the movement. Now that the ceremony was over, their life together was about to begin. She could tell Neil was happy, and the respect inherent in that was very good for her confidence, despite the need for a public kiss. The same man who spent hours secretly trying to cure Trachoma had likely spent hours thinking about her, and now she was his wife! She suddenly felt light-headed.
"Woah, there, I'm losing you," he said, sounding concerned. "Did you eat this morning?"
"I had breakfast," Christy said in a small voice.
"Then what's wrong?"
You're strong and smart and you want to kiss me, and I don't have any idea how to handle how much I like that! she couldn't say. A breathless "I can't believe we're married," came out, instead.
Neil gently pulled back, steadying her with a hand at her shoulder and at her wrist. He looked down at her with an impish gleam in his eye that she hoped had a lot to do with his own happiness.
"It'll pass," he grinned.