EPOV
What a way to fuck up everything!
Well, this was nothing that I didn't expect, right?
Yeah, but what the fuck I should do now?
Maybe I should have waited a bit!
But I didn't want to waste my time this time!
I didn't think that she would have agreed for sure if I had asked her before she met Carlisle, but I would have tried at least!
I didn't want to have any kind of regret this time!
But I didn't expect her to see what I felt for her, did I?
But what was the point of asking her then?
Hell, she would probably never want to go out with me even if I was the last man left on the earth!
Yeah, I knew that.
Yet, I wanted to give it a shot.
Because she was everything that I ever wanted.
But what should I do with the fact that I was nothing like what she wanted!
Maybe I needed to put in more effort?
I doubted if anything was going to work though! She hated me, and if I put in the effort now, she would see it as some sort of 'conspiracy' from my side to get myself in her good books!
She really, really didn't like me!
She said I was a misogynist!
She said I couldn't respect any woman!
How the hell would I be able to explain to her that I really respected her!
Oh well, if someone bullied me with my brothers throughout my childhood and later called me a 'gold-digger', I also wouldn't believe that they respected me!
Ugh! Why the fuck did I have to mess this up so badly!
Why would I have to call her a 'gold-digger'?
Why the fuck did I believe that she could be a 'gold-digger'?
Shouldn't I have known better?
But... I was so mad!
I just... totally lost it!
But... What's next now?
She was going to hate me even more now that I've asked her out!
How the fuck was I ever going to convince her that I really liked her?
God! Somebody please help me!