Lucy began stirring in her sleep, awakened by the sounds of the machines around her. She knew that meant she was in the hospital, but also, she was more aware of the fact that meant she had survived. That alone almost made her want to cry, but not as bad as when it all sunk in and she began feeling that pulsing pain in her chest, a deep throbbing just below her left breast. Her throat was dry, probably drier than it had ever been, and her wrists were absolutely killing her. Nothing was hurting as much as her head though, and all the beeping noises sure weren't helping with that...

Yet, she couldn't help hearing those noises and thinking about when she was with Tim in the ambulance, racing to the hospital after being quarantined and he'd had a bad reaction to the antibiotics. She remembered how horrified she was as he went into convulsions, his whole body shaking uncontrollably, knowing there was nothing she could do. It was probably the most worried she'd ever felt in her life (before the last few days, of course). She didn't want him to die, not from something like that. He was a soldier, a warrior... He'd want to go out in battle, not from some stupid virus.

She also remembered pulling up to the hospital and hearing Nolan yell "Gun!", throwing her body on top of his to make sure nothing worse happened to him. She didn't want to pry herself away, even though she knew she had to get out and help take the terrorist down. Instead, in true Tim Bradford fashion, ever the hero, he burst out of the back of that ambulance and got a clean shot in on the assailant, once in the chest.

For some reason, that memory made her mind wander, suddenly picturing him as a cowboy... a gunslinger, kicking open the saloon's swinging wooden doors (a staple in all old western movies, of course), then taking down the bad guys, every one of them hit right between the eyes, one bullet at a time. He'd take a stray beer and chug it down, tipping his hat to the bartender, right before she, the waitress, threw herself into his muscular arms, asking how she could ever repay him for saving her life... and that's when she would hear the background music crescendo as he answered her with a kiss.

She let a small moan escape at the fantasy, writing that off to the drugs, as she heard the rustling of pages beside her. She was happy someone had been watching over her and that she wasn't alone. Slowly opening her eyes, she couldn't contain her smile as she saw that it was Tim, sitting there as he pretended to read some trashy teen magazine. She made a lame attempt at a joke about his 'BTS soulmate', and he countered with an even lamer joke, pretending not to know who BTS was, like she hadn't forced him to listen to them once or twice. But as lame as it was, she still laughed, hissing lightly from the pain.

'God, how could I still be feeling this bad when they have me on such good pain killers?' she thought.

That's when she noticed the dirt under his fingernails and the wear of exhaustion around his eyes, and asked, "Have you been here all night?"

She could tell by the way his eyes darted away and the small jerk in his movements that he had wanted to say something else but chose to lie at the last second instead.

"No." he denied, shaking his head, "Mnh mnh."

She let out a sound that told him she didn't believe him and was about to call him out on it when the door opened, and Grace walked in for a checkup and to pass along the message that Rachel had just left but said she'd be back. She saw Tim's head fall as he groaned and slouched down in his chair, which puzzled her a bit.

She was also baffled by the disappointed she felt that her and Tim's conversation had been interrupted, but not sure why... Okay, that was a lie. The truth was that the playful banter between the two of them was usually the best part of her days. She loved when she could get him to smile or confess something that showed he had a heart buried deep down in there somewhere, but also, she loved that she knew how to push his buttons just right. But right now, it was a small solace she knew she needed.

The two of them had definitely grown closer over the last few months. Jackson and Nolan were definitely her best friends, and she was absolutely thrilled that they were there and that they had brought gifts. But it just wasn't like the excitement she felt when Tim pulled out that white bag, knowing exactly what it was before he could even say - the veggie burger and fries she was absolutely craving at that moment.

"You know me so well." she said.

"Too well."

The other two stayed briefly, but Tim stayed for a few more hours, which she appreciated, she did, but she knew he had to be absolutely exhausted. She wondered if he was holding out to see if Rachel would show, but when she never did, Lucy just used that as another reason to convince him to go home. She assured him that Jackson was going to be coming back so he could stay with her that night, and he seemed eased by that fact. She understood though. When the hospital released her the next afternoon, she wasn't sure she was ready to leave yet. Here, she was protected, there were guards, and the added reassurance that one of her cop buddies would never leave her side while she was there. At home, she had Jackson, and her back up piece, of course, but... was that enough?

That night, even with all the medication they had her on, she still found it hard to rest. And when she did, all she could hear was the buzzing of the tattoo gun, all she could picture was Caleb's sickening smile, hearing his voice as he told her to get in... all she could feel was herself running out of air inside that barrel. She jerked awake again and looked at the clock - 1:37 am. She knew she needed some comfort, to hear a friendly voice, but... who could she ask?

Jackson was pretty much dead to the world when he slept, snoring loudly in the other room. Nolan was great at talking down suspects in dangerous situations, but she knew he just wouldn't be able to relate to her under these circumstances. And she wasn't exactly that close to anyone else, so...

Before she realized what she was doing, she found herself calling Tim. It only took one ring for him to answer, panic evident in his voice, as he asked, "Lucy, are you okay!?"

"Yeah!" she tried, before caving, "Yeah... no. Not really. Listen, I'm really sorry I called so late, but I just... I didn't know who..."

"Hey, it's okay. Anytime." he reassured. "So... what? Can't sleep?"

"Something like that."

"Ahh, nightmares." he stated, without a doubt, "What you probably need is a stiff drink."

She scoffed. "Yeah, right. Remember what happened the last time you told me to get a drink?" she said, not even registering that she had let it slip, until he went silent for a few minutes.

"Yeah, I do. And I don't need someone else making me feel worse, okay? I'm already doing a pretty good job of that myself." he replied, sternly. Before she could apologize, he brushed it off and said, "Hey, listen, I'm not saying go out and get fuckin' shit faced. I'm just saying if you have a bottle of something stronger than beer around, a shot might help calm you down. Or at least, mix with those pain meds and knock you out."

"Yeah, maybe." she sighed, "I actually might have some brandy still."

"Brandy? Who in the hell actually drinks brandy?"

"Shut up! It's from the last time I baked cookies."

"Wait. You bake with it?"

"Well, sort of. It's a basic sugar cookie, but I add some crunched up anise seeds that I soak in brandy for about twenty minutes. They're super good with coffee."

"Sounds good. I might have to try them sometime." he said.

"Yeah? You want some? I don't know. It seems weird to be baking my T.O. cookies. I don't want anyone to think I'm trying to bribe you or something. Besides, how's Rachel going to feel about another woman bringing sweets to her sweetie?"

"Shouldn't you know that? You know her as well as I do."

She knows she shouldn't pry, but she can't help but wonder what's going on with them ever since she saw the way he reacted to her name at the hospital. Hopefully, she could get him to share, but if not, she knew he would eventually. Of course, that's if she didn't call Rachel and just ask her first.

"Please, I'm pretty sure you know her a lot better than me."

"So... what, you're saying the two of you never got a bit too drunk and experimented when you were in college? You know, it's okay. I hear all the girls do it. You can tell me." he joked.

She played it off, "Mm hmm, I'm so sure."

After a long, uncomfortable silence, he confessed, "Well, since she hasn't told you, I guess I will... Rachel and I broke up."

"Oh. I... I'm sorry, I didn't..."

"It's okay. It's nothing really to talk about." He interrupted, before switching the subject, "One question though."

"Shoot."

"What the hell's an anise seed? Is that some sort of weird, new age... vegan thing?"

She laughed and they talked. About nothing mostly, just easy conversation that had her feeling more comfortable than she had all day. Eventually, she realized that time had gotten away from her and, before she knew it, it was almost four in the morning.

"Oh shit! Look at the time! You've got to go to work soon! I'm so sorry."

"It's okay. Got the day off." he replied, followed by a loud yawn.

"Well, my phone's dying anyway, so I should let you go. Plus, I think we both need some sleep." She said, "Good night."

"Good night, Boot."

It had been a few weeks, but she'd finally been cleared to go back to work, getting the doctors to pass her both mentally and physically. She was ecstatic, being able to get back into her regular routine. She would set up shop, handle some calls, joke in between... maybe he'd even put her up to a Tim Test today. (And yes, she realized how sad it was that she was actually looking forward to something like that).

She cringed as she walked into roll call and saw that Nolan hadn't persuaded everyone to skip that stupid clap. She knew she should have asked Tim to handle it. But then, when Grey asked her how she was feeling and she stated she was excited to get back to normal, she found herself both confused and disheartened to find that they had switched her to ride with Officer Harper for the week. She couldn't help but wonder who had suggested it - was it Nyla? Or did Tim not want to ride with her? Did he not trust her to have his back anymore?

She knew that couldn't be the case, but her insecurities forced these thoughts to cloud her mind. And Harper sure wasn't making it any better, constantly trying to get her to open up and share, or at least ask her for some help with something, but Lucy refused. She wasn't going to allow them to treat her differently just because this happened. She wasn't a weakling and she sure could handle a little paperwork on her own.

She was surprised to see Abigail walk in beside Tim and Nolan later, exchanging some pleasantries with her and thanking her for the gifts she and Henry had sent her. They'd been following each other on Instagram and Facebook for a while now and had become good friends. In fact, she loved her even more after she called Tim "all bark".

Then when she looked at him, something about seeing him in that uniform and remembering the last time she had, shook her for a moment. Suddenly it was all back - the pain, struggling to breathe again, being so dizzy she wasn't sure which way was up. The one thing she knew for sure was that Tim's arms were around her, holding her tightly. He had found her ring; he was the one who saved her. They did it. She was alive.

It made her wonder even more about their distance today, but when he asked about her dodging some bullets during her shift, she knew he was still there, watching out for her and making sure she wasn't in any danger. She tried to play if off like she was annoyed at that fact, but secretly, she was pleased that someone was keeping tabs on her and it wasn't just to make sure she didn't flip out or screw everything up.

"Look, if you need anything, you let me know." he said.

"You got a time machine?" she asked, with a sad smile.

There was a twinge of guilt in his expression, before he replied, "I wish I did."

She wanted nothing more than to have his arms around her again, telling her it would all be okay. Sometimes, she felt like the memory of him holding her was the only thing keeping her from falling apart.

A few nights later, she laid in bed, struggling to sleep yet again. Harper and Lopez had tried to take her to a speed dating event the previous night. They said something about her needing to learn how to trust her judgement again, which sounded like a good idea at the time, but it hadn't gone very well. Needless to say, she was still frustrated, with them for taking her there, but mostly with herself.

Earlier that day, when Nyla had told her the story that she had been wanting to tell her about her own bad experience and why she wanted to try to connect with Lucy, she felt bad for dismissing her so quickly. She thought she was dealing with everything a lot better than she actually was, but Harper had made her see that that peace of mind was going to be a long journey, and she needed to start the healing process right away. She just wished they both had handled the situation better.

It was almost midnight when the phone buzzed on her nightstand beside her. She wondered who could be calling so late, silently praying she wasn't being called into work on something major. Thankfully, it wasn't.

"Hey."

"Hey." Tim replied, "Heard you had an interesting night last night."

"I guess you could call it that. Yeah."

"Well, I say almost breaking a guy's arm definitely constitutes as one. So, I got to ask... was he just a total creep or were his pick-up lines really that bad?"

"No, he wasn't being creepy. All he did was try to pull some loose string from my sweater, and next thing I knew, he was face down on the ground. I didn't even understand that I had actually done it, at first. But then, there he was and..." she trailed off, before groaning loudly in frustration, "Ugghh! What made them choose speed dating?"

"I don't know; you got me there. What I do know is that, however poor the attempt was, Harper was just trying to connect with you somehow and help you through this." he said.

"And she has... a little. She talked to me more today and helped me gain a little more perspective about the extra danger we face as women in this job. And how much harder dealing with everything can be when you're trying to do it alone."

"You're never alone." he said, "And I know she has good intentions, so I hope riding with her really does help; she just needs to realize that just because you both are women doesn't mean that she automatically knows how you deal with things better than I do."

She could almost feel her heart swell with joy when he'd said that. "Yeah, that's for sure." she agreed.

"Although, considering what happened, maybe it was a good idea that she went with you instead. If you'd been riding with me these past few days, I had planned to take you on the more dangerous calls. Throw you back into it, full force."

She scoffed, "Of course you did."

"Well, I wasn't trying to be a dick. It was so you could prove to everyone else and, more importantly, to yourself, that you aren't as fragile as you're feeling. But, if something that small set you off today, who knows how you might have reacted to something like that? I could have fucked up royally."

"Well, in all honesty, you might have, but I appreciate the thought behind your plan more. Over the last few days, I feel like everyone is watching every move I make through a damn microscope, just waiting for me to screw up again. Like I don't deserve to be there."

"Trust me, no one is looking at you like that, Lucy. Everyone's just being extra cautious around you right now because they don't want to end up getting their ass kicked, like Speedy Gonzalez did last night." he joked, and she laughed way too loud at it, but she didn't care. He then stated, "Besides, soon enough, another big scare will come, and everyone will forget all about what happened to you. They'll stop treating you differently; trust me."

"I just really wish my first day back could have gone better than it had."

"Yeah, well, that's definitely not how I would have let it go down."

"And how would you have handled it? You know, other than the whole 'full force' idea?" she asked, intrigued.

"Well, first off, I wouldn't have let them do that lame ass clapping thing at roll call. I knew you were going to hate that." he said, and she beamed with that knowledge.

"Oh god, I thought I was going to die from embarrassment. I tried to get Nolan to convince them not to."

"Well, there was your mistake. No one listens to Nolan." he jested, before adding, "Anyway, I'm going to head to bed. I just wanted to call and make sure you were okay."

She smiled and replied, "Code four."

"Good night, Officer Chen."

"Good night, Officer Bradford."

It was easier to fall asleep than it had been before. As she dreamed that night, it was the first one that Caleb hadn't starred in. She wasn't sure exactly who her leading man was yet, because he was kissing her with a force that made her knees weak, and her eyes flutter closed. All she knew was that his lips were like heaven, soft and teasing. She ran her hands up through his hair, tugging at those short locks hard, like he was tugging at her heartstrings right now.

When he pulled away to begin removing her dress, she wasn't shocked to find that Tim was the one standing in front of her. He kissed her shoulder as the thin strap fell lazily to the side, his lips moving up her neck to nibble her ear as he slid that silky number off with ease. He was in a tuxedo although his tie was gone, only a few buttons of the white shirt left closed. As she reached up to slide the jacket off his shoulders slowly, his lip traveled down to her breast, licking and sucking at the flesh around it before focusing on her nipple. Her breath hitched in her throat as his teeth grazed over it, sucking it into his mouth as his tongue lightly flicked at the tip.

"Oh, god." she mumbled, her hips jumping forward as he began pulling her underwear down slowly.

His hands grabbed firmly at her hips and guided her back toward the bed. His fingertips ghosted over the sensitive skin of her inner thighs, so lightly she was barely sure they were there. She was definitely sure though when his first finger slipped inside her and his thumb found her clit in unison, lightly tracing circles around that bundle of nerves until she groaned out his name, begging for more. She could almost feel her arousal dripping down his fingers as he added another and she moaned loudly in appreciation.

He sat her down and knelt in front of her as he began kissing a trail down her stomach. She felt his hands travel to her knees, pushing them apart and placing them on his shoulders. The feeling of his breath on her skin, hot and eager, as he placed soft kisses up her thighs... god, she thought she might actually burst from the anticipation of it all.

This was it. This was finally going to happen...

That was until Jackson barged into her room with two steaming hot cups of coffee in his hands.

"Rise and shine, roomie!"

Lucy bolted up in her bed. Her mind almost seemed like she didn't want to leave that fantasy world as her eyes took far too long to adjust to the light. She flung a pillow at him and flopped back down onto the mattress, almost sobbing with frustration, as he placed the cup down and left her room.

'Damn it! It was just a dream!? But it was just getting to the good part!' she thought, 'Wait!... There's a good part to that? There couldn't be a good part! He is my training officer! I'm not allowed the good parts! Oh god, what does this all mean?'

...Shit.