Chapter Three:

SMG4 To Sue You

Funky, Mario and OnyxKing67 took in the scenery and the clean air as they walked through the parking lot towards the front door of Attorney Hall. The group made their way up the small flight of stairs while Mario hummed the overworld theme for a brief moment, then they pushed on the door and walked inside the lobby of the building.

Attorney Hall was quite busy today with men in suits signing papers, secretaries talking on phones, and doors opening before closing as people went from room to room. It was unbelievable that SMG4 wanted to meet with OnyxKing in a place like this.

"Excuse me, is this your lawyer?" A woman in a black suit asked as she saw Funky Kong in his suit with Mario and OnyxKing.

"No, he's just a friend." OnyxKing replied in an honest manner.

"But I have legal training." Funky remarked, "If I am a lawyer, you could say I'm 'part time'."

"Excuse me?" Mario approached one of the receptionists, "We're looking for an SMG4, he said he wanted to meet with us here."

The receptionist gave Mario a strange look, then she looked at the papers before turning back to the fat Italian, OnyxKing and Funky. "Attorney Hall doesn't have anyone named SMG4 in it's employ..." She remarked, "...as we don't have a name like that in the files."

"Are you even familiar with the name 'SMG4'?" OnyxKing asked with slight annoyance.

"You mean the YouTuber?"

"Yes, he texted and said he wants to meet with me here. He's a guy wearing a hat like Mario's but has the color blue, he looked like him, now he has a smooth face with blue eyes and has a small nose? He comes from Australia too and has this Australian accent? People also call him Glitchy, um, I have a picture?"

OnyxKing reached into his pocket and pulled out two photos, one showed a man resembling Mario wearing blue-and-white and the other showed a man with a smooth, shaven face wearing a similar hat and overalls.

The receptionist leaned over the desk and looked at the photos, she then eyed the photo on the right and then looked back at the trio.

"We have a Mr. Glitchy visiting in Room three." The receptionist then said, "First door on your left."

"Wait, wait, wait. Glitchy?" Funky Kong raised a hand, "Who's Mr. Glitchy?"

"Long story, SMG4's name is short for 'Super Mario Glitchy Four', hence the Glitchy." OnyxKing67 explained, "Well, it used to stand for 'Super Mario Glitchy Four', but it also stands for 'Super Meme Guardian Four'."

"Oh yeah, I remember." Funky quipped.

"Wahoo!" Mario whooped, "SMG4 is-a here!"

The fat Italian made a dash towards a nearby door and OnyxKing begged for him to wait, then he ran after him with Funky, even as the receptionist advised them it wasn't usually a good idea to run in the lobby. Mario reached the door and reached for the knob just as OnyxKing and Funky caught up, the spaghetti-loving plumber grasped the door knob and slowly turned it.

He pushed open the door and walked over the threshold with the others, entering a dark lime-green office with green plants, a portrait of a man with a gavel, and some bundled-up curtains hanging from the ceiling.

And right there, seated on a couch, wearing sunglasses and a black suit, was a man with a youthful face, black hair, and a blue Mario-like cap.

"I've been waiting for you, OnyxKing." He said, then he waved to Mario, "Hey, Mario. Care to close the door?"

OnyxKing nodded to Mario, who shut the door and let go of the knob. They walked further into the room, looking at their friend. As they made eye contact, OnyxKing couldn't help but note that there was something a little strange about SMG4. He'd seen him wear shades before, but he'd never worn a suit.

"Long time no see, SMG4." OnyxKing then said with a smile, "So, how's it going?"

"Yeah, it's been a while." Funky remarked.

SMG4 chuckled in a nearly uncharacteristic manner. "Please..." He said, "Call me... Lawyer SMG4."

OnyxKing raised an eyebrow and so did Funky Kong.

"Oooh, Mario smells something fishy." Mario remarked, "Since when were you a lawyer?"

"Sometimes, sometimes, you have to expect the unexpected." 'SMG4' said, "And a part of me didn't expect to see Funky Kong wearing his Lawyer Kong garb when you brought him with you. But, of course, this is where we get down to business."

"Uh, okay, 'Lawyer SMG4'?" OnyxKing stammered, "Lawyer Four. Mr. Super Lawyer Glitchy. Whatever you're gonna go by now, what's going on?"

Lawyer SMG4 pulled up a briefcase, opened it, then pulled out a piece of paper. He grinned at the group half-evilly and held up the paper, revealing it to be some form of legal paperwork. As OnyxKing looked at it, his eyes went wide, even Funky and Mario were shocked. There was no mistaking those three words on there; a cease-and-desist.

"You, OnyxKing67, are being sued." Lawyer SMG4 declared.

"SMG4, YOU'VE GONE COO-COO CRAZY!" Mario cried.

"What are you suing me for?!" OnyxKing67 protested.

SMG4 gestured, pointing at Funky Kong in his suit.

"Him." He said, then he lagged his finger at the Mario-looking YouTuber, "OnyxKing, OnyxKing, OnyxKing. Do you really think that your use of SMG4 characters would fly over anybody's head? Yes, Funky Kong was made by Rareware and is owned by Nintendo, but Lawyer Kong, which you used in one of your recent videos, was derived from SMG4, who never gave you his blessing to use that."

"YOU'RE SUING ME FOR USING YOUR CHARACTERS, EVEN IF IT WAS FOR A CAMEO OR A SMALL ROLE?! Dude, what is wrong with you? I am raising my eyebrow, can a YouTuber sue another YouTuber for using something from a fan-made Mario video in another fan-made Mario video?"

"Laws can be adjusted." Lawyer SMG4 said, "And you are known to have been inspired by SMG4's videos. For too long, you've gotten away with using characters and concepts from SMG4. Now, it's time to cease-and-desist. In fact, maybe I'll flag and demonetize your channel!"

"Hey, Evil Glitchy Lawyer!" Mario yelled, "What'cha gonna do next, you gonna take us to court?"

Lawyer SMG4 stared at the Fat Italian blankly, then he began to chuckle in a sinister manner.

Mario looked at OnyxKing67 uneasily, then he looked back at Lawyer SMG4, whose face contorted into what unmistakably resembled a slasher smile. As if it wasn't clear enough that there was something off about SMG4 suing OnyxKing, that smile indicated that this guy was off his rocker. This wasn't even a prank, things were beyond complicated already.

"Oh, Mario..." Lawyer SMG4 said, "Now that you mention it. You could say that someone is going to court and that someone is OnyxKing here."

"D'oh, shit!" Mario groaned.

"Nice one, Mario!" OnyxKing67 glared, "You just made things worse."

Lawyer SMG4 chuckled as if he was enjoying this. In fact, who in their right mind in the YouTube world would decide to become a lawyer (or hire lawyer) just to sue another YouTuber for using a character based on a video game character with an alternate persona created for a video that involved said video game character?

"Okay, SMG4! Quit with the games!" OnyxKing told Lawyer SMG4, "Is this some sort of prank or are you some sort of wacko impersonating SMG4, because I know SMG4 isn't capable of ANYTHING like this."

The black-suited YouTuber lawyer approached the machinamist with a sinister sneer. "Oh, OnyxKing..." He said, "You have 108 hours, to remove your videos that involve SMG4 characters along with the video that involves Lawyer Kong, before you appear in court. And don't think of running, if you do and you don't do as I say, I will be sending a special friend to hunt you down..."