A/N: Here's Chapter 2! Trigger Warning for implications of sexual assault and slurs
The day I met Sakura Matou was at the height of Summer. I had only been back in Fuyuki for a few days when I heard the doorbell ring.
I walk from the kitchen to the door and open it with a smile. When I see the girl before me, my smile is gone (Why is she afraid of me?). I watch the girl for a moment, her violet locks swaying lightly in the breeze, as amethyst eyes stare at me in shock and worry. I see her rub her wrist with her hand out of the corner of my eye.
"Hello there, I'm Asahi. Asahi Emiya. Who might you be?" I give the girl a soft smile, hoping to ease her nerves. It doesn't work. She hides it well, but I can see the anxiety spiking. Her shoulders shift, her pupils shrink, and she looks like she's about to run away. I tilt my head a bit and take a step back, inviting her in and hoping she doesn't turn and leave. "Are you a friend of Shirou's? My apologies if I startled you. I'm his older sister...brother...sibling...you get it. I've been traveling abroad for a while now, so I haven't been around much." A strained laugh escapes my throat, hoping to break the ice a bit. I see her calm down a bit, and I bark out laughter as I watch her try to make sense of my statement. My smile grows to be just a bit more genuine.
"I-I see. It's Nice to meet you, Asahi-San. I'm Matou Sakura. Is...Is Senpai around right now?" She bows her head for a moment before lifting her eyes to look back up at me. Her voice is quiet and timid, but there's something else there, something familiar, that I can't quite place. Something itches at the back of my mind when I look too closely, and I have to fight down the memories of those cursed flames. Now wasn't the time.
"Ah! It's nice to meet you, Sakura! Shirou's told me a lot of wonderful things about you. Please just call me Asahi-Nee; after all, you're basically family at this point based on what I've heard from Shirou and Taiga." I smirk when she starts to sputter at my casual use of her name and my brazen request, flashing my teeth at her before continuing. "Anyway. Sorry, he's not here right now. I had him make a trip to the shopping district to pick up a few things so I could work on dinner tonight without him trying to interfere. I missed his birthday by like two weeks, so I'm cooking tonight to make it up to him. Ya wanna help me get set up?" I start to move back down the hall as I talk, a thoughtful hum escaping my throat as I turn down the hall to my right and head back into the kitchen. I could hear Sakura scrambling to keep up behind me, but I mostly paid it no mind.
"Ah, I, uh, sure. I'll help out...Asahi-Nee? I didn't know Senpai had a big sister." As she finishes her sentence, I look back and toss an apron at her, watching it thump against her face in time to hide the grimace I made at her statement. I force the uncomfortable pit in my stomach down as quickly as possible before moving into the kitchen and pulling things from the cabinets. "Alright, all the vegetables are already laid out. How much experience do you have in European Cuisine?" I see her perk up noticeably, and I can't help but turn away and hide a little fist pump behind my chest.
"I have a bit of experience in it. I didn't think I'd ever beat Senpai in Japanese Cuisine, so I decided to branch out when I started getting better at cooking." She gave me a quick smile, but it didn't quite reach her eyes. Ah, so it was like that then. I turned to hide the grin on my face as she continued. "Alright, uh, Asahi-Nee. How may I help?" Oh, she was adorable, Shirou...Why haven't you married this girl yet?!
"Alright, I need you to start chopping the carrots, onions, tomatoes, celery, and the leek. Crush the garlic cloves as well. I'm gonna start prepping the meat." We fell into a quiet rhythm after that. There were a few hiccups early on, but the girl was remarkably quick to catch on, and soon enough, she was matching my movements perfectly. What a clever girl.
It wasn't until Tanabata that I spent any more meaningful time with Sakura. While I did tend to hang around the estate, I was usually too busy wrangling Taiga to actually chat with her much. Despite that, I did consider her part of the family. How could I not when I could tell at a glance just how important she was to them? Even Shirou perked up at her presence, which was a lot for that boy, but I digress. I check my hair and makeup in the mirror one last time, combing my fingers through the black locks that fall to my shoulders as I fix the wolf tail hanging from the back of my head. I tuck hair behind my ears and brush at my bangs a few times before nodding once and grinning. I adjust my Yukata once, tracing my fingers over the white lily designs covering the black fabric, before turning and heading out into Miyama.
It didn't take me long to spot the girl, and I couldn't help but grin before breaking out into a run and calling out to her. She didn't notice me at first, but after a few moments, she spun around and jumped a bit at the sight of me running over before settling into that same smile from before (It never reaches her eyes; why does it never reach her eyes?). I could feel my Geta click against the pavement as I made my way to her, needing to scramble to stop myself from barreling over her in my haste.
'Hi Sakura! I didn't expect to see you out here alone. Where's Shirou gone off to? I know he left earlier in the day to meet up with classmates (I forced him to be social. One day he'll thank me.), but I don't see him nearby..." I look around, head jerking just a bit too wildly at the lack of visible Shirou. After catching her bearings, Sakura giggles and points down one of the other streets.
"Hello again Asahi-Nee. Senpai got caught in Mizutsuri-San's trap. She's bothering him about the Archery Club right now, so I decided to move on and let them catch up." She explains the situation with a soft giggle before pouting a bit. "Honestly, I doubt he'll be free before another hour passes. Mizutsuri-San is tenacious."
"I see; well, I think I'll leave them to it then. Even I don't think I can save him from that." I gave the street she motioned down one last glance before turning back to her. Now that I take a closer look, she was absolutely radiant. Honestly, I might be a bit jealous. Why couldn't I have been that pretty at her age?! She wore a white Yukata with purple and pink flower designs that hung closely to her form, while a violet Obi wrapped around her waist. Her hair was pulled up into a bun, and she had a pink flower hairpin holding it in place while she carried a small bag in her hands. Her sleeves are a bit longer than usual, but I think nothing of it. "Damn, Sakura, you clean up well, trying to impress someone?" I let my lips curl back into a teasing grin, mischief evident on my face as she begins to go red in the face.
"W-what?! No, no, you have it all wrong, Asahi-Nee I was just-" She got cut off when I began to laugh, reaching up to pat her head while she stuttered out her defense. After a moment, her face returned to its previous pout. "Honestly, Asahi-Nee, you're worse than Fujimura-Sensei...Thank you, though. I worked really hard on it this year, and he didn't even notice." Wait, why did she let that slip? The heat started to crawl up her neck again as she prepared for a round of teasing, but she stopped and calmed down when she saw my face. "A-Asahi-Nee?"
"...Sorry Sakura. Unfortunately, my little brother is a clueless idiot. I honestly don't get why he isn't falling all over you by now." I grunt, flexing my jaw and brushing off the frustration that began to creep into my features, taking a breath and smiling back down at her. "Well, if he's gonna be dumb, I think I'll steal you as my date tonight. How about that?" Obviously, I didn't mean literally. She was too young for me, but I enjoy her company, so I want to do something nice for her at least. Her head tilts down, and she can't meet my eyes, but I stretch out my arm to her and give her a warm smile. "Come on, let's have a fun festival. After all, I'd like to get to know Shirou's future housewife."
"I...I think I'd enjoy that, actually. Thank you for keeping me company tonight, Asahi-Nee." She bows her head, then lifts back up and loops her arm into mine. "Please lead the way." It still doesn't reach her eyes (fire and ash and everything is dead. Why can't I smile? What is it? It's coming out of my skin it's in my skin itsinmyskinsomeonegetitoutofmysKIN!), but her smile becomes just a bit more genuine, not noticing the flash of turmoil in my eyes.
I grin, turning and starting down a random street, tugging Sakura along with me, and our night begins in earnest. I take her everywhere I can, buying us snacks, playing games, and watching some of the performers with her. I can't remember when I noticed, but it became evident at a certain point. This was probably the first time she had ever truly been someone's center of attention. At that point, I decided to make this the best damn festival experience she ever had. No way in hell was I letting this sweet little girl have a bad night when big sis Asahi was around!
It was hours before we stopped, and by the time we had, her eyes had a spark of light in them. It wasn't much, but it was something. We were sitting on a bench eating some Takoyaki, with her having a reasonable portion while I had at least five little boxes of the snacks. Sakura lets out a sigh as she finishes her meal before getting a playful grin on her face and looking over at me. My face was currently buried in my box, somehow not smudging my makeup as I scarf down my food. She reaches over and quickly snatches one of my boxes of Takoyaki, pulling it over to her lap and laughing as I yelp at the sudden betrayal.
"Hey! I was gonna eat that! After all I've done for you.." I hold my chest in mock hurt, playing it up and recoiling as if struck. She stares at me momentarily and taps her finger thoughtfully to her chin before pointing at me.
"Well, it's obvious, isn't it? I'm your date for the night, so you have to treat me." She smirks victoriously before breaking down in a fit of giggles. It's the first time I've ever seen her laugh like this, and I can't help but join her, nearly knocking my boxes of Takoyaki over as I clutch my gut from laughing. I slowly come down from my laughing fit, looking over at her and smiling wide. She was glowing. She looks the happiest I've ever seen outside of hanging out with Shirou. She slowly starts to catch her breath, turning to give me a smi-
"OI, SAKURA, THERE YOU ARE! I'VE BEEN LOOKING ALL OVER FOR YOU!" It was gone just like that. Her smile vanished, and her eyes went cold again as if it had never been there. My jaw set on instinct as I saw the seaweed-haired boy storming over to us, shoving through the crowd before stopping in front of Sakura. I narrowed my eyes at the kid but he completely ignored me, staring down at her as if disciplining a child. "Honestly, you're more trouble than your worth. Come on, OJiisan is waiting for us." I made to reach out and stop him, but Sakura placed a hand on my wrist, shaking her head once and giving me a pitiful smile that was probably intended to make me feel better.
"It's fine Asahi-Nee, Nii-San is just a bit overprotective." I could tell she was lying, but I nodded after a second and pulled my hand back. She stood up as her brother grumbled, turning and starting to walk away, Sakura following behind him after a moment. Once she got about ten steps away, though, she turned back and gave me a sad smile. "I had fun tonight Asahi-Nee. I hope we can do this again sometime." There was something more in her words, but I couldn't figure it out. Something seemed so familiar here, though. After a moment, I shook my head and stood up to leave. I was done with the festival.
It was mid-October when things changed. Sakura and I had been hanging out quite a bit after that. While we'd never be blood-related, I had essentially adopted her as my little sister, taking care of her whenever I could and taking her out to have fun in Miyama or Shinto whenever Shirou was busy. Of course, we had had a few more unpleasant run-ins with that seaweed brat. Shinji was his name, and I hated him quite passionately. Other than that, though, things had become pretty normal, and she seemed to be coming out of her shell more and more with me.
Shirou had gone out for the weekend (I was forcing him to be social again and had him staying over with his friend Issei.) I was relaxing in the living room when the doorbell rang, and it didn't take me long to realize it was Sakura behind the door once I was walking down the hallway. I opened the door with a smile. When I see the girl I had come to care for, though, my smile is gone. Sakura was slumping over quietly with her sleeves pulled down over her hands. She was breathing heavily, and-was that blood trailing down her leg?! I tried to hide my grimace, but when she looked up at me, I couldn't help but worry. Her eyes were so dull. "I...Sorry, Shirou isn't here. Sakura, are you...what happened?" She stood there for a moment, chewing on her lip as she thought over her response.
"I know Senpai isn't here...that's why I came. I don't want him to see me like this...Can I stay here tonight?" She barely made any noise when she spoke, and I looked down at her neck as I noticed something out of place. A bruise that looked far too much like someone had choked her. My eyes set, and I bundled the girl up, shaking my head to try and banish any unpleasant memories.
(The men have me pinned, each of them digging their fingers into my wrists until it feels like bones will snap. It's dark, and I can't see a thing. Why are they doing this? How can they do this to a person? My eyes squeeze shut as I hear them laugh, grotesque insults like 'tranny' and 'faggot' assaulting my ears as rough hands trace a knife down my bare chest. My skirt was shredded and tossed aside. I grit my teeth, and when I feel his form rock into mine, I pray and wait for it to end. Maybe if I just held out, it'd be fine.)
I froze as that last thought flashed through my mind, looking down at Sakura as I laid her on the couch. My eyes travel down to how the cuffs of her sleeves are pulled down. I look at the trickling blood on her leg, trailing down from her inner thig-No. No, no, no, not her. Please, not her. Anyone but her.
"Sakura?" I look back up at her, piercing gold irises meeting her own amethysts. She was confused, anxious, and worried. She takes a moment, shuddering from the intensity of my gaze.
"Y-yes Asahi-Nee?" She stared back at me, and a million thoughts raced through her mind as she saw how I was inspecting her.
"Can you...Can you take your shirt off for me? I need to confirm something. I promise I'm not going to hurt you." I saw the way she froze, and she was about ready to move when I placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. She froze like a deer in headlights, eyes flicking to mine again. "Sakura, please don't run. I just want to help."
"...Okay. Okay, Asahi-Nee." She wasn't able to escape, so if Asahi-Nee did something, she would hold out, then it would be fine. She reached down, and I watched as she lifted the shirt. I had to hide the terror. I had to hide the fury and the anguish as I stared at the bruises and scars peppering her skin. I barely bit back the snarl that threatened to pour out of my lips, and Sakura slowly wrapped her arms around her chest, curling in on herself. "H-here Asahi-Nee...If you need to...I'll be fine...I know I'm filthy." She trailed off as she spoke, averting her eyes. She couldn't bear to look at me when I did it.
"...What?" The force of the words shocked even me, and I saw her flinch, so I took a quick breath, calming myself as much as possible before continuing. I couldn't scare her. "Sakura, that's...that's not what I want. What...Who did this to you..?" I saw her eyes widen a bit from my words, but she didn't say anything. One hand stretched up to rest on her head, and while she flinched initially, she settled into it. My other hand, meanwhile, came down to press against her lower abdomen. I stare down at the girl before me, and I finally recognize those eyes. I brush my hand across her bruises with a grimace. How could I have missed this? I was supposed to help take care of this girl! I have literally been through this kind of experience before. I, of all people, should be able to recognize the warning signs. I should've known better. I should've done better!
No, now was not the time to get caught up in my own head. I shake my head free of those thoughts and brush my hand against her bruises once more, and then I take a slow breath in, twisting my palm and applying pressure in perfect sync with my exhale. Mystery came forth, and her body began to repair itself, bruises fading away in moments to Sakura's disbelief.
"Asahi-Nee, you...you're a-" I cut her off with a simple lift of my hand, removing it from her stomach.
"We'll talk about it later." I turned to look at her and gave her the kindest smile I could muster.
"Asahi-Nee...you don't have to pretend. I know I'm f-filthy. I know I'm a horrible woman." She babbled the words out before she could stop herself. Why could she never keep her mouth shut with Asahi-Nee?
"Sakura, no...you aren't any of those things. You're beautiful and sweet and kind, and I love you so, so much. I haven't known you for years, but you're already the little sister I never had...How long has this been going on?" I stroke her hair and cup her head with my palm as I speak, wrapping my other arm around her stomach to lift her up into a soft hug. I could feel her shaking, and I began to trace small circles on her back with my hand.
"...Since I was six..." My back goes rigid at her words, and I bit back a curse. She was trembling harder now, shaking like a leaf in the wind while her nails bit and clawed into my back. She clung for dear life, and her face buried in my shoulder.
"Oh, Sakura...my poor baby. My sweet little baby, I'm so sorry...You're safe here. I promise you you're safe here." I held her tightly, whispering gentle affirmations into her ears as I continued to comb my fingers through her hair.
It was almost three minutes later when she pulled away, chest still heaving slightly as she looked up at my eyes. "Why?" She choked out the words, terror and uncertainty flitting through her eyes. "How can you say I'm not disgusting like this? I...I don't understand." She tilted her head, confused and afraid. I simply sighed.
"Sakura, do you think I'm filthy?" I smile at her when I ask. Not a happy smile, but the same kind of smile she often wore. Her breath hitched in her throat as she paused.
"What? N-no, Asahi-Nee is kind and gentle and always seems to know what to say to make everyone around her brighten up. Why would I..." I could see the realization dawning in her eyes as she realized what I was implying. Her gaze darkened, and her words came out barely a whisper "...You too?"
"The first time it happened to me was here in Fuyuki. I was fourteen, and Kiritsugu let me run off and play in the park. I got...taken. He saved me, but by then, it was too late for...that. It happened again when I was seventeen and one more time when I was nineteen. At the time of the first, I was traveling Asia. Ended up in the wrong place at the wrong time. I escaped, but barely." I lift up my shirt and take it off, showing a gruesome-looking scar where I had been stabbed through the stomach. Her pupils dilate, and I feel her hand on the scar after a moment. I didn't mind, so I continued. "The last time I was in Europe—similar situation. That's where I got this one." I point to the bullet hole under my left pectoral, and it's her turn to grimace. "That's why I know you aren't filthy...If you ever feel that way, just remind yourself that your big sister Asahi knows what you're going through, and she knows you aren't filthy. Alright?"
"A-alright Asahi-Nee. I'll try..." She shuddered after a moment, then looked back up at me again. "Can you...Can you hold me again? Please, I...Please?" Her voice trailed off, becoming nothing more than whispers as she begged for what she dared not. She chewed on her lower lip, anxiety spiking again until she felt arms wrap around her and pull her into another embrace. Her eyes welled with tears for the first time in years, and she choked back a sob.
"As long as you need Sakura. I've got you..." I press a soft kiss on her forehead, hugging her close to me and letting my chin rest atop her head. "I promise you...I'll find a way to get you out of that house...I won't stop until I do." She stiffened in my arms, but didn't pull away.
"Please don't...don't make promises you can't keep." She murmured into my collarbone, tears streaking down her cheeks.
I sighed and threaded my fingers back into her hair, hugging her just a bit tighter.
"I'll keep it. For you, I will."