Hello, and welcome to day 18! :)

If you haven't already read it, please check out my Halloween-based one-shot...which is very unoriginally named 'Halloween' XD.

Today's one-shot was inspired by 'guest's comment on the last chapter.

Enjoy!

"Whenever I didn't know what to say or do-"

Bailey looked up, surprised, as they'd been sat in silence for so long.

"-I could ask Mark and he'd always know what was best."

Bailey nodded, but didn't speak.

"And now Mark is gone." Meredith sighed. "And I know Derek but I don't...I don't know if I know him well enough."

"He confuses me sometimes. He doesn't always react how I'd think or...sometimes he lets out his emotions in more indirect ways and it's hard to figure out how to help him."

Meredith nodded in agreement before looking round to the room where her husband was. "Do you think I should go in there?"

"It's been-" She looked at her watch. "-almost an hour and a half."

"Okay. I think I will...I'll at least ask him what he wants to do, even if he can't leave right now." She decided before sighing, grasping her bag, and standing. She could do this. Right?

"I'll stay here, just in case."

She smiled briefly as a thanks before heading to the door of the ICU room, and sliding it open.

"Hey." She said softly and calmly, although she didn't think that he had noted her presence.

"Hi." He greeted blankly.

She swallowed. He sounded so empty. "Do you think you want to go home now?"

He still didn't look round, but he did move his shoulders to shrug.

"Do you know what you want to do?"

He didn't move for a second before shaking his head.

"Okay, um...do you know what you don't want to do?" She asked, preying for a verbal answer this time. Hopefully, it would be one with a little bit of life in it, but she would accept anything, really.

He shook his head again.

"Okay-" She sighed. "Well...it's quite late so I think we should go home. Would it help if I decided that?"

He waited even longer this time, but eventually nodded his head.

"Okay." She repeated for what felt like the billionth time. She didn't know what else to say.

He stood from his seat, but didn't move any further. He was in the place Mark's bed used to be. Before they put a sheet over him. Before they took him away.

"Derek, are you okay?" She asked as she moved so she was in front of him. His eyes weren't tearful or bloodshot like she might have expected, but she wished they were, because he looked worse with dull, empty eyes.

He swallowed, hard. "No."

"Is there anything I can do?"

He looked up from the floor, but he couldn't find her eyes. "No."

She'd never seen her husband so empty.

He walked by himself, sure, but she felt as if she was dragging him behind her the whole way from Mark's old room to the car, and then from the car into their house. Even his hand didn't grasp hers properly. He didn't speak either, but he did nod and shake his head. Unfortunately, none of the questions she really wanted to ask him were ones that could be answered with a 'yes' or a 'no'.

"Hey. What are you doing?" She couldn't help but ask as she looked to the kitchen, only to see him stood there. He was sat on the sofa before she went to the bathroom.

"Need dinner." He muttered as he twisted one of the knobs on the oven to start preheating it.

"I'm just going to order something. It's okay. You don't have to do anything." She said as she reversed what he had done, placing a hand against his back and rubbing it.

"Oh. Okay." He breathed.

"Want to sit back on the sofa?" She asked.

"Okay." He agreed.

She told herself she would follow him, but he didn't move. "Derek-"

"Right. Sofa." He muttered before turning around, and leaving the kitchen.

She sighed as he headed to the couch, but didn't follow him as she had planned. All she wanted to do was fix him. But she didn't know what to do. She didn't know what to say. She didn't know how long he was going to be like this. She didn't know if it was going to get worse. She didn't know how to make it better. She didn't know anything at all, really.

Eventually she gave up, knowing there was no point in waiting if she was never going to figure out what to do, and left the kitchen too.

She sat down beside him. "Hey."

"Hey." He greeted, the same empty tone in his voice that he had since she first greeted him after Mark's passing, four and a half hours ago now.

"Please tell me what I can do to make it better." She begged.

"I feel-"

That's what she wanted. That's what she needed. Maybe if he could describe what was going on his head, she could figure out some kind of way to help him.

"-empty."

She swallowed. That didn't help. She knew he was empty. "Do you just need time to...process?"

"I suppose." He agreed. That was one of the least indecisive things that he had said in a while now, but even that wasn't that strong of an opinion.

"Webber said you could have some paid time off, and that he'd find a semi-permanent locum if you need any longer than that, so you have all the time in the world, okay?"

He nodded. "Okay."

"How long are you going to be this empty?" She couldn't help asking. She was so desperate to fix him.

"I don't know." He admitted honestly, before...smiling?

"What? What's funny?"

"If Mark was here-"

Her hand grasped his. That was the first time he'd said his name, or referred to him at all.

"-you know what he'd say?"

"What would he say?" She asked. She could have guessed, but she was hoping that she could get him talking a little more.

"Well-" His smile grew. "You know what he always did to cheer himself up."

She smirked. "Ah. Right. I get it now."

"Mmm." He agreed. "That was always his priority."

"Is that what you want?" She asked. She wasn't sure she really wanted to have sex just to make him feel better, but she was getting rather desperate.

"No." He replied, but he wasn't angry nor outraged by the suggestion. "Just...thought that's what he would say."

"If I wanted to ask Mark how to make you happier, what would he say? I mean, in this context. Not generally, because we just discussed what he would say then."

"I think...he'd say-" He couldn't help but smile again. His eyes sparkled with tears. "I still think he'd say we should have sex."

"Really?"

Tears squeezed from his eyes. "Mmm. Really."

"How about this?" She asked before shuffling a little closer to him, and wrapping her hands around him. After about two seconds, she sat up from him. "How was that?"

He just about smiled. "I think I..." He swallowed, and changed his mind, "I did like that."

She smiled back. Certainty. She got certainty from him. Not a shrug or a shake or a 'okay' or a 'sure'. A real response, with an opinion.

"Meredith." He looked up at her, and his eyes met hers for the first time. "Mark died."

She swallowed. His watering eyes hurt her heart. "Yeah."

"He died."

"Yeah." She agreed tentitively, not quite sure what else she could say to that.

"He's not breathing anymore." He continued.

"No, he's not."

"And his heart isn't beating anymore."

"His heart isn't beating anymore." She confirmed, squeezing his hand a little tighter.

"I think I want another hug now. I...I definitely want another hug now."

"But no sex, huh?"

He snorted. "No. No sex. As much as Mark would love that."

She smiled back, and engulfed him in a hug, much to what she knew would be Mark Sloan's disappointment.