Chapter 21: how far is far far away?
I do not own kingdom hearts or the properties shown in this fanfic. They belong to the respective owners and the original story is based on the works of Darius Almighty. Kingdom hearts and trials of the keyblade is owned by square Enix, Disney, and Tetsuya Nomura. Please support the official release.
Right. Now time to deal with far far away from everybody's favorite ogre shrek! Now growing up watch shrek and the entire franchise and the retold version on youtube I always love shrek and its adult and toilet humor and fairy tale characters helping out shrek getting out of a jam and taking down evil villains such as lord Farquaad, the fairy godmother, prince charming and let's not forget Rumpelstiltskin.
With that out of the way, here's the next chapter. Enjoy!
The Fortress of Chaos. The dark and terrible castle of the Horned King. The antithesis of all that is good and pure in this world. Dark carrion birds circled overhead, hungry and looking for a meal, already having picked clean the skeletons surrounding the fortress. On the outside, it looked like an old medieval castle.
But on the inside, it was a technological marvel. The dark stone walls were lined with wires and lights that blinked and blipped in methodical order. Despite the bright lights, torches lit the rooms and halls. And all around skeletal soldiers roamed, guarding the gates or working on computer terminals. The whole structure was a combination of medieval architecture and scientific ingenuity.
In an upper level of the fortress was the throne room of the Horned King. A large round room, much darker then the others. Tapestries depicting hideous beasts decorated the walls. In the middle of the chamber was the Horned King's object of power: the Black Cauldron. And seated on a throne encrusted with skulls was the Horned King himself facing his faithful servant, Azul.
"Shelke was kidnaped?", the Horned King asked Azul.
The Cerulean man nodded. "By the Keyblader and his friends."
"And you did nothing to save her?"
"It didn't occur to me."
The Horned King chuckled. "Do not concern yourself. That girl's usefulness wore out long ago. Her only talent was collecting fragments of information. Her research on the Keyblade War was completely worthless. Nothing but a history lesson that was already known. I never should have saved her."
"She was a weakling, anyway," Azul said, smugly.
"Enough talk. Continue your search. Rosso and Nero are already looking. You don't want to be outdone by them, do you?" That was all it took to motivate Azul as he left the throne room for parts unknown.
The Horned King was then seemingly left alone. "Soon it will all be complete," he said to the shadows. "Slowly but surely, Kingdom Hearts will be mine. As long as I have your help." Someone stepped out of the darkness. A young woman. She had long brown hair and was wearing a blue top and black shorts. Sprouting from her back were a pair of small white wings. The Horned King stood from his seat and walked over to her.
"With your powers, combined with my dark magic, none can stand in my way. Not Maleficent, not Sora, no one." He cupped the woman's chin in his withered hand. "You will help me, won't you? Remember, I saved you as well. Fulfill my wishes and I will release you from my service." The woman's face turned to a painful expression.
"Of course," she whispered.
The Horned King smirked and turned toward the shadows, where a bright light was activated to reveal two unconscious women: Belle and Snow White. Two down, five to go.
KHKHKHKH
"So there I was!" Jack Sparrow exclaimed. "Natives on the left of me, natives on the right of me! All of them pointing their pointy sticks at me with the intent to do me in! But I didn't back down. I looked them right in the eye and cried 'Captain Jack Sparrow doesn't go down without a fight!'"
Listening intently to the story was Ron, Denzel, Marlene and the fully healed Yuffie. All were once again onboard the Shera, flying to the next world in hopes of finding the next Keyblader. Everyone injured in the tournament was now up and about, ready for anything. Everyone except their new passenger. Shelke was still unconscious, making Sora worry that he may have really hurt the young girl. Shalua refused to leave her sister's side and no one thought that was a problem.
"I fought valiantly, I did!" Jack continued. "Me against a whole army of head-hunters! With nothing but a sword and a pistol! I was a one-man pirate crew! I felled many a savage that day! But alas, there were too many, and soon I found myself at their mercy."
"Then what happened?" Yuffie asked urgently. The others nodded enthusiastically.
"Well, I'll tell you. You see, in that moment, a giant armadillo broke through the trees! It was truly frightening to behold! All of the savages ran away in fear of the terrible monster! But not Captain Jack Sparrow. For I saw that the beast had a thorn in his paw. Being the brave pirate captain that I am, I approached the beast and removed the thorn, instantly calming it down! The savages hailed me as a hero!"
"Yay!", his audience cried. "Hooray for Captain Jack Sparrow!" Jack grinned proudly.
"Hey, don't you want to hear about my adventures?" Sora asked, walking up.
"Been there," Ron said lazily.
"Done that," Yuffie finished. Sora groaned and walked on.
Kairi was at the window watching the stars go by. She couldn't believe how many there were. Each one a different world. "What's up, princess?" Sora said cheerfully.
Kairi smiled. "Nothing much," she replied. Turning back to the window, she said. "It's so big, isn't it? So many worlds. So many people. Remember when we wanted to see all of those worlds?"
"Oh, yeah," Sora said. "Now that I think about it, how would we ever have gotten to other worlds on a raft?"
Kairi shrugged. "We were young and foolish." She then seemed to grow distant all of the sudden. "Sora. Is something bothering you?"
"What do you mean?"
"You've been acting strangely lately. Every time you go to sleep I see you tossing and turning. Sometimes you even talk. And you say strange things. Can you tell me what's wrong?"
Sora frowned. The truth was a lot of things were bothering him. It sounded like these visions were really getting to him if he was sleep talking. That was only one of things that was getting to him. The mysterious Anakin Skywalker, Shelke's affiliation with the Horned King.
But most of all he was worried about the armoured man wielding a Keyblade. The Chaser. The one who was strong enough to take down King Mickey. And now he was after him. No, not just him. The man hunted Keyblades. That meant that everyone in possession of one was now in danger. Including Kairi.
He sighed. He had been keeping secrets long enough. "Actually..." he began.
"Next world approaching!" Cid announced, interrupting Sora from going any further. The next world was coming into view. It was a sparkling sphere, lined with forests, large castles and cities.
"We'll talk later," Kairi said, walking away. Sora stood there with his mouth hanging open before sighing yet again.
"Hey Mulan!" Mushu bounded onto the woman's shoulder. "Can I come with? I feel like I'm not even in this story!" Mulan smiled.
"And then they made me their chief!" Sora heard Jack say to his fans, who were still captivated by his stories.
"Time to go, Jack!" Kairi said.
"Oh dear. Well, stay tuned for part two, kiddies!" Jack told his audience, who moaned disappointedly. "Don't worry. Jack always comes through, doesn't he?"
"Never has before," Beast muttered, walking by him.
"Now, now. No sour grapes. Let's get on the road! New world and all! Somewhere tropical I hope!" Jack grinned.
KHKHKHKH
The blinding snow continued to blow into Jack's face, threatening to blow his hat from his head. The Keybladers had found themselves standing in a fierce blizzard in the middle of a forest. Beast kept Mulan and Kairi warm in his cloak as they walked. They were trudging through a snowy road hoping to find some kind of shelter to escape the freezing cold.
"Is it too late to go back?", Jack asked through chattering teeth.
"Y-yes," Sora shivered.
"Boy, being cold-blooded really bites sometimes," Mushu whimpered in Mulan's collar.
"Well I feel just fine," Beast said proudly. "I bet you guys wish you had a thick coat of fur right now."
"I'd rather freeze," Jack hissed.
sonic strode through the harsh winds, the cold apparently not bothering him. He then stopped suddenly and looked behind them. "Something's coming," he said to the others. "It looks...weird. Like a vegetable."
The others peered through the blizzard down the winding forest road. Something was approaching. Something pulled by two white horses that were almost invisible in the blizzard. It was a carriage, one of unusual shape that they couldn't make out through the storm.
"Is that...Cinderella?" Sora asked, remembering the pumpkin carriage.
"Who cares?" Mushu exclaimed. "Let's hitch a ride! I'm freezing!"
"I agree, my scaley mate," Jack said. He stuck his thumb out down the road. Everyone else shrugged and did the same.
As the carriage neared, they could make out its shape. The one controlling the reins was a small, bearded man. The carriage itself was not a pumpkin, it was a...well, it was an onion. A giant onion on four wheels.
"We are not picking up hitchhikers!", an irritated accented voice hollered from the onion. "They might be diseased!"
"It's freezing out there!", a softer female voice lectured. "We can't just leave them out here to freeze!"
"It's bad enough you're making me go on this stupid trip! I don't need some strangers coming with us as well!"
"Pull over!", the female called to the driver.
"Don't pull over!"
"Pull over!"
"Don't pull over!"
"Pull over!"
"Arrgghh! Pull over!" The grumpy voice gave in.
The Keybladers heard this argument and listened with amusement, happy in the end that they were pulling over. "Now let's make a good impression," Sora instructed.
"Not to worry, mate," Jack assured. "After all I've seen, nothing could surprise me anymore."
The onion carriage came to a stop right in front of them. The doors swung open. Inside was a large green brute with knobby little things sticking out of his head that one could assume were his ears. Judging by his annoyed expression, he was the one who didn't want to stop.
"And then, something like this happens," Jack said.
"Yeah, what do you want?", the green skinned creature asked grumpily.
"Shrek! Don't be rude." Next to the (man?) was another one just like him, except female. She had long red hair and a beautiful green dress of a type that royalty might wear. "Hi there," she said to the shocked Keybladers. "Do you need some help?"
"Uh, yeah," Sora spoke up. "Where are you guys headed?"
"Where we headed? Where we headed? What's with all the questions!? Shrek, these guys are bad news! I don't trust 'em!" Everyone winced at this new loud voice. Suddenly the head of a donkey stuck out between the other two creatures. "What's your story, hombre!?", it shouted. "Thieves? Bandits? Pirates?"
"Funny you should mention that," Jack drawled, but Inuyasha elbowed him in the ribs.
"We're heading for the kingdom of Far, Far Away," the female said. "Do you need guys need a lift?"
"Fiona!", the green male exclaimed.
"Shrek..." Fiona warned. Shrek crossed his arms and grumbled.
"We don't want to cause any trouble," Sora said. "We'll just go on foot."
"You can't! The only place for rest is Far, Far Away. And that's still far, far away! You'll freeze to death out here!"
"Better than in my onion," Shrek mumbled. Fiona glared at him.
Sora was still uncertain. "Well, if you insist..."
"Sora, they are offering us salvation! Far be it from me to turn them down!" Jack exclaimed. Everybody piled inside the onion carriage, which they found to be surprisingly roomy but, unfortunately, not roomy enough. "Sorry, mate," Jack said to Beast who was the only one still outside. "No more room. You can sit with the little guy. Don't worry, as you said your nice fur will keep you warm!" He then promptly slammed the door in Beast's face.
Beast ground his teeth and went to sit with the little gnome man. Sitting himself down, taking up most of the seat, he glared at the driver, who whimpered and started the carriage off again.
The mood inside was rather awkward. The Keybladers were sitting across from the two...whatever they were, with the female one smiling and the male one frowning. The talking donkey was in-between the two, smiling brightly. Nobody really knew what to say.
"Well this is nice, isn't it?" Mushu began. "Meeting new people...things...um, not to be rude or anything, but..."
"What the heck are you?" sonic dead panned.
The male, Shrek, looked at them all. "What! You've never seen an ogre before!? Ha! You're lucky! They'll crush your bones for bread! Squeeze your eyeballs for jam! Make a suit from your freshly peeled skin!"
"Ah, you're just a big old softy you onion loving monster you!" The donkey laughed.
For the remainder of the trip they learned of Shrek, Fiona and Donkey. Shrek and Fiona were newly weds from a far off swamp. Fiona was originally a human girl before a fairy godmother had put had a curse on her at a very young age, which turned her into an ogre when the sun went down. As part of some kind of fairy tale, she was locked in a tower by her own parents and guarded by a fire-breathing dragon. To break the curse she had to be kissed by her one true love.
That true love turned out to be Shrek, the grumpy ogre from a swamp. Shrek and his faithful companion Donkey journeyed to the tower and rescued Fiona from the dragon. When the time came that they finally kissed, Fiona did not turn back into a human girl, but remained an ogre because, for her, that was love's true form.
"That's so romantic!" Kairi sighed.
"Curses are a sticky business aren't they?" Jack said. "You ever heard the one about the selfish prince who was turned into a hideously ugly beast? Wouldn't even let a poor, helpless old lady into his big old castle. Now I wouldn't say he was evil. Stupid maybe, but not evil."
"I CAN HEAR YOU!" Beast hollered from the outside. Jack grinned.
"And now, according to miss royalty here," Shrek said jerking his thumb at Fiona. "We have to meet her parents, the King and Queen of Far, Far Away."
"Wow, they're nice parents letting you marry anyone you want even if it's an ogre," Sora said.
Shrek and Fiona exchanged looks. 'Well, actually..." Shrek began.
"They don't have a clue their daughter married Shrek!" Donkey said. "Man that's gonna be quite the sight!"
"They don't even know I still look like this," Fiona said, referring to her green skinned form.
"That should be quite the family reunion!" Mushu laughed.
"You said it, dragon!" Donkey agreed.
Shrek scowled. "I don't know why," he said to Mushu. "But something about you reminds me of Donkey." Mushu and Donkey looked at each other and shared a knowing grin.
"Mind if we come?" Jack asked. "Haven't dined with royalty in a while! Well, mind it was behind prison bars. Besides, look at us! We'd make anyone look good!"
Shrek got a good look at them and broke out into a radiant smile. He looked pleadingly at his wife. "Fine," Fiona sighed. "They can come."
"Oh, yeah. This is gonna be fun!" Donkey laughed.
KHKHKHKH
"Are we there yet?" Donkey asked.
"No," Shrek said.
"Are we there yet?" Mushu asked.
"No," Sora answered.
"Are we there yet?"
"No," Fiona said.
"Are we there yet?"
"No," sonic hissed.
"Are we there yet?"
"Yes."
"Really?"
"No!"
Far, Far Away was finally visible in the distance. A sparkling city with a large stone castle looming on the horizon. Their carriage rode through stone paved streets busy with people dressed in medieval garb. The whole place was like something out of a fairy tale.
"Wow!" Donkey gasped, as they passed the people and buildings.
"This place is amazing!" Sora praised. As they drove in the streets people stopped to look at their onion carriage. There were many whispers heard among the passers by.
"It's Princess Fiona!"
"She's returned with a husband!"
"The new King and Queen!"
"That's the ugliest hood ornament I've ever seen." Beast ground his teeth upon hearing that one.
They headed directly to their destination: the castle. Word that Fiona had returned spread quickly through the city. Crowds of people followed the carriage, cheering praise for the princess and her new prince. They followed them all the way to the castle. The drawbridge lowered to allow them passage.
The courtyard was filled with townspeople that were cheering loudly as the carriage rolled into view. Trumpets rang through the air as confetti rained from the heavens. The carriage pulled up to the front of the castle, its entrance prepared with a long red carpet, two well dressed people standing at the far end. One wore the garb of a King and the other that of a Queen.
The carriage came to a stop, some people eyeing Beast skeptically. He just frowned and crossed his arms. "This is it," Fiona said. Shrek still looked unsure.
"Come on, Shrek," Sora reassured.
"Yeah, look at this place! You're loaded now!" Donkey exclaimed.
Shrek and Fiona each took a deep breath. The sounds of cheering and trumpets could still be heard outside. They opened the door and stepped outside...
"..."
The cheering abruptly stopped.
The trumpets died out.
A baby began to cry somewhere in the crowd.
As the two married ogres stepped onto the red carpet, no one moved. Sora and the others followed out.
"Uh, why don't you go ahead, I'll park the car," Donkey said eyeing the crowd. He slammed the door and the carriage rode off in a hurry.
"Hey! I want to get off!" Beast shouted as the onion left the castle area.
Shrek and Fiona grasped hands and began to walk up the carpet towards Fiona's parents, the crowd staring at them, slack jawed, all the way. The Keybladers followed.
"Well, we're here," Shrek whispered. "Can we go now?"
"Hush! Everything will be fine," Fiona assured. "Look. There are Mom and Dad waiting to meet us."
"They look happy, at least," Mulan said.
With Fiona's parents, the situation was not as great. "Who are they?", the King asked through a forced smile. Both of them began walking to meet their new...family.
"I think," the Queen said through an actual smile..."that's our daughter."
"That is not our daughter! She was supposed to kiss Prince Charming and break the spell!"
"Well he is no Prince Charming, but they do look..."
"Happy now?" Shrek hissed. "We came, we saw! Now let's get out of here before they light their torches!" He eyed a few people in the audience holding pitchforks and clubs, scowling at them.
"They're my parents. They wouldn't do that!"
"They locked you in a tower!"
"Well," Kairi said. "I'm sure it was for her own..."
"Good!" Harold exclaimed. "Here's our chance! Let's pretend we're not home!" They were getting closer to them.
"Harold!" She hissed. "We have to be..."
"Quick!" Jack said. "When their not looking, plead insanity! It always works for me."
"Stop it!" Mulan whispered. "Everything's going to be..."
"A disaster!" Harold whimpered. "There is no way..."
"You can do this," Fiona assured. They were almost there.
"I really..." Shrek said.
"Really!" Harold stressed.
"Don't."
"Want."
"To."
"Be."
"Here!" The two families met in the middle of the crowd. Not a sound was heard. The King and Queen stared at their daughter and her wonderful new husband but could find nothing to say that would make the situation any better.
"Mom...Dad." Fiona hugged each of them in turn. "I'd like you to meet my husband...Shrek." Their eyes turned to Shrek who stood there quite nervously. Mushu hopped onto his shoulder.
"Compliment the parents," he whispered. Shrek nodded.
"Well, uh...it's easy to see where Fiona get's her good looks from!" Everyone slapped their foreheads.
"And I'm the brother-in-law!", Jack cheered, sauntering to the parents and putting his arms around their shoulders. "Thanks for the invite, your highness'! Or should I call you, Mom and Dad?"
It was a day nobody would forget...no matter how hard they tried.
And tried they did...
And that concludes another chapter. Be sure to write nice reviews adapt the original story (Darius Almighty's work) on DeviantArt, turn it into a webcomic or post the story on TV tropes or follow and favorite it. And remember may your heart be your guiding key!