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Isolation
It made sense that Mr. Stark was different. That's what Penny told herself as she followed his daughter into a corn maze on a bright day that seemed too warm for almost October. It made sense! It had been five years! And yeah, that felt impossible, but the evidence was overwhelming. She had been gone for five years and he was married to Pepper Potts and he had a daughter. She'd even known that he was going to marry Pepper! Before Titan and Thanos, they hadn't set a date yet, but he'd assured her casually one day that she would be invited to the wedding, so he'd let her know as soon as they picked a day. And that had been evidence enough for her that she was important to him.
But that hadn't been all. He'd created a whole internship program with SI, and she had a feeling he'd only done it for her. Sure, there had been other interns, but none that worked directly with Tony Stark in his lab. And there had been a few nights over the year and a half or so that they'd known each other that she'd stayed the night at the compound in the room he'd set aside for her…a generic guest room that she always stayed in. Sometimes a project had run too late or they'd sat down to watch a movie after several hours spent in the lab and he'd told her to just stay if she wanted. And she'd always said yes, first because she didn't want him to have to drive her back to the city, and later because she'd started to look forward to those rare mornings with him and Pepper where he'd make his 'world famous' blueberry waffles and Pepper would ask her about school and it had all felt so nice…she'd felt so lucky!
But that was about as domestic as he'd ever gotten. She'd been hurt a few times, and he'd always been there for serious injuries. Once she'd woken up in the Medbay with no memory of how she'd gotten there, and he'd patiently explained that her web had snapped in the middle of a fight, and that she'd hit her head. He hadn't seemed particularly worried, although she'd wondered in the moment if he was putting up a front. He'd spent the whole day with her in the Medbay, chatting with her about their next project and the car they'd started messing around with, him showing her how to build an engine.
It had been his father's car. She'd finally gotten up the courage to ask one day, and he'd told her that he'd been tinkering with it off and on for years. "Since before you were born, Spiderling." And then he'd hesitated, something vulnerable passing over his face. "You want to help? I need to rebuild the engine from scratch."
She had.
At times, she'd started to think of him as something like…like her uncle. Not a father. The word father didn't match with her idea of Mr. Stark. He was her mentor and he cared about her and he was always there to help if she needed it. He even listened when she went on about school and the movies her and MJ watched and the LEGO sculptures she'd built with Ned, including one of the Avengers tower.
But he wasn't a father. As far as she knew, he'd never wanted kids! If he had, it certainly wasn't something he'd ever talked to her about. Now, though…five years after she'd felt her body turn to dust and five years after he'd held her in his arms, looking so afraid and trying not to show it as he'd assured her that she was okay…five years after she'd faded away while watching a tear fall down his cheek, she was walking through a corn maze with his daughter, feeling like an interloper as the little girl tugged on her hand, insisting they had to go right! (They did not, in fact, need to go right. They needed to go left, then around the corner, and three more turns would get them out. But she had a feeling that telling Morgan that might ruin her fun, so she kept quiet and pasted a smile on her face as the little girl dragged her forward.)
The first hint that Mr. Stark was different had come when she'd pulled him to his feet on that battlefield, making her mask disappear as she'd grinned at him, trying to make a joke about how she'd gotten all dusty. Because that was how they dealt with big things…how he dealt with big things. He made jokes. He brushed things off. She hadn't ever been hurt by it, not after she'd started to understand. When she'd woken up in the Medbay, he'd joked that he hadn't known a spider could break their own web. When she'd made him a cake for his birthday, he'd looked away for a long time, then had smiled a little at the crude rendition of Iron Man she'd drawn in red and gold icing.
"Gotta say, Pen, you don't have a future as a cake decorator." But he'd been giving her a soft little smile and he'd patted her back. "Thank you, kiddo."
"I figured you didn't have a lot of birthdays left since you're, like, 95 now…"
Then he'd laughed and swatted the back of her head and it had been so comfortable and fun and light between them, and it was all she could have ever asked for…all she'd known to ask for.
But that day, he hadn't even acknowledged the joke…instead, he'd stared at her on that battlefield like she was the most wonderful thing in the universe, wrapping his arms around her for the first time since…well…the first time ever. He'd patted her on the back plenty of times. He'd wrapped an arm around her shoulders. He'd ruffled her hair and squeezed her shoulder. But he'd never hugged her…not like this.
And her shocked response had been "oh…this is nice." It had almost been a joke…she'd been expecting him to pull away and say…something. Anything to lighten the mood because that's what he did! That's who he was! But instead, he'd held her for so long that, hesitantly, she'd brought her hands up to pat him on the back, then had hugged him back, resting her forehead on his shoulder, sure that this was her one and only chance for this kind of thing, so she had decided to savor it. Because Mr. Stark was kind and he was gentle but he wasn't soft like this. Unguarded. He didn't do genuine emotions, especially when things got too serious.
But that hadn't been a once in a lifetime opportunity to get a genuine hug from Tony Stark as it turned out, because the moment Carol Danvers (the most beautiful, coolest, most badass woman Penny had ever seen in her entire life) got ahold of the gauntlet and snapped her fingers, Mr. Stark had found her again, his hands on her shoulders as he'd taken her in like she was something precious, and she'd smiled at him, glad he'd missed her and worried that he was hurt.
"You okay?" she'd asked, and he'd nodded, swallowing hard and pulling her into an unheard of second hug!
"Never better, kiddo."
She'd met the other Avengers then, all of them battle-weary but triumphant. They'd won! They'd defeated Thanos. And she'd been excited to meet the Avengers…and then confused. Because Mr. Stark had wrapped an arm around her shoulders, keeping her close as he'd lead her to where the others had stood. They'd all looked at her in her suit and she'd wiped a hand over her face, wincing at the sting of her bloody lip. She had been sure that she'd been covered in bruises and bleeding from more than one place, but they all had.
"Wilson. Barnes. Maximoff. Strange. It's good to have you back," he'd told them, sounding so soft and genuine…she'd never heard him talk to the Avengers, but she hadn't imagined he would sound like that.
"Good to be back," Sam Wilson had told him, patting a bloody, exhausted looking Steve Rogers on the back as Carol Danvers had joined them. "Looks like we'll need to find a new place to live," he'd said with a wry chuckle, jerking his chin towards the ruined mess that had been the Avengers Compound.
"Don't worry about that. I'll take care of it," Mr. Stark had assured him.
"How're you holding up, Queens?" Steve Rogers had asked her then, and she'd smiled even though it had hurt. Everything had hurt, she'd realized then, but nothing had felt life-threatening.
"I'm fine."
"Yeah?" He'd given Mr. Stark a look she'd been unable to decipher before holding out a hand that she'd taken, wincing when that had hurt too. "It's good to finally meet you. Officially."
"Everyone, this is Penny Parker," Mr. Stark had introduced them, something so soft and fond in his voice. "Spider-Girl. Pen, this is the team."
There had been a chorus of 'it's good to meet you's' and handshakes and then they'd all been stepping through portals into Dr. Strange's house, which turned out to be something called a Sanctum. And there, Mr. Stark had led her to a room, telling her that May had disappeared too, and that he was sending someone to get her. He'd told her that he'd help them find an apartment and everything would be okay. And then he'd left her to shower and change.
Once she'd gotten herself cleaned up, Penny had wandered back downstairs looking for a familiar face, and had found Sam Wilson in a room off of the kitchen. It had been set up with beds all surrounded by curtains, and on the far counter, containers of medical supplies. Sam had been getting stitches in his side when she'd hovered in the doorway, but he'd nodded at her in greeting. "Hey, kid."
"Hey." Not sure what else to say, she'd made her way over to the counter to grab an alcohol wipe. There had been a cut on her arm that she'd done her best to clean in the shower, but she'd had a feeling that she should disinfect it.
"So…how old are you anyway?" he'd asked, lifting an eyebrow.
"Almost seventeen." She'd grinned at him, feeling brave. "I was fourteen when you threw me out a window."
"Jesus…"
"That's child abuse."
He'd chuckled at that, shaking his head at her as she'd pulled her sleeve up, wincing at the bloody mess that was her arm. The cut had been worse than she'd first thought, and had still been bleeding. Sam had gestured for another doctor who'd been passing by, then, waving a hand. "Hey? Can you look at this kid before she tries to give herself stitches or something equally stupid? That cut on her arm needs them."
Penny had rolled her eyes. "Tattle-tale." He hadn't been wrong, though…she'd been kind of worried about the gash on her arm and had been wondering if she could somehow sneak a suture kit from the doctor's bag. It would be the first time she'd given herself stitches, and she liked to think she'd gotten pretty good at it, thank you very much.
Sam had chatted with her while she'd gotten sewn up, obviously noticing that the pain medicine wasn't working on her. He'd asked about her family and how she'd met Mr. Stark, and she'd been right in the middle of that story of her internship when Mr. Stark had stepped into the room, looking more concerned than she'd expected.
"Pen? You okay?"
"Just bruised up. I'm fine," she'd assured him. It hadn't been the first time she'd gotten a cut that needed stitches, but it had been the first time she'd seen him this worried. "Are you okay?"
"Fine, kiddo." Then he'd sat down beside her, watching the doctor sew her up and letting her get back to her story. Sam had looked between the two of them strangely, but he hadn't commented on Mr. Stark's presence.
Once the doctor had finished looking her over (which had consisted of him him waving his hand at her, making glowing symbols appear around her that had apparently told him that she was otherwise fine) Mr. Stark had guided her out of the room, his arm once more around her shoulders. And she'd decided to finally try and get back to normal. "So…what did I miss? Anything interesting happen while I was dusty?"
He'd given her a strained smile. "Actually…there was someone I wanted you to meet."
"Oh…yeah?"
And then he'd led her to the room where Pepper, now in regular clothes again, and a little girl had waited.
Morgan had stared at her with wide eyes from her father's arms on that first day, and Penny had stared back, feeling a strange, painful tightening in her chest when he'd held her, pressing a kiss to the little girl's hair. "Morgan, this is Penny."
"You're Spider-Girl!" the little girl had cried, practically jumping up and down in front of her and taking her hands. "Daddy told me stories about you! He said you were a superhero!"
And Penny had made herself smile…had made herself nod and answer her questions while feeling like she was a million miles away. Because Mr. Stark had a daughter and he was…he was different! He wasn't the same man she remembered…wasn't her Mr. Stark.
Over the last few weeks, Penny had done everything she could to avoid the Stark family. She'd thrown herself into helping May get new stuff (thanks mostly to money from Mr. Stark) and together they'd moved into their new apartment. She'd watched the news as people had been relocated and had kept an ear out for news about school. It was nearly October and past time for her to start, but officials were still debating the details. Not everyone was happy that people had been brought back. In fact, some were angry and wanted them gone again. So Penny went on patrols and tried to keep the violence in Queens to a minimum.
When Mr. Stark had texted her (which he did now), checking up on her, she had assured him that she was fine. That they were settling in. That her weekends were full of plans with MJ and Ned and helping her aunt with the charity she'd been working with since she'd gotten back and had seen the need. And she'd assumed that was all there was to it. He lived in a lake house upstate now. He had a daughter.
He was different.
But then, the day before, he'd called her while she had been in the suit, and she'd had no choice but to answer. "Hey Pen. You got a minute?"
She hadn't been able to say no.
"I think we're lost," Morgan told her, breaking her out of her thoughts. The corn maze was right at the entrance of the orchard and winery that she'd been invited to visit along with Mr. Stark and his family. His real family. Tony Stark was now the kind of person that took his wife and five year old daughter to a fall festival at an orchard where little kids ran around screaming and where they sold pumpkin donuts and fresh apple cider.
And it hit her as Morgan tugged on her hand…she had no idea what she was doing there. She didn't even know who Mr. Stark was anymore. The world was different now. She didn't belong here. This was a family outing and she had no idea why Mr. Stark had wanted her to come but all she wanted to do was go home and curl up in her bed and cry…mourn the relationship they'd had before.
He had a family now. One she had no place in.
"Penny?" Morgan sounded afraid and when Penny brought a hand up to her cheek, she was shocked to find tears there. "It's okay…we'll find a way out. I promise."
Penny made herself smile, wiping her face. "I know the way out," she assured her.
"Then why are you crying?"
Because your dad was my mentor first. Because I lost him. Because I don't know who he is anymore and I don't know why I'm here or how I should act or what I should say.
But Penny wouldn't say any of that…not to little Morgan Stark. "I just remembered something sad," she told her softly, dropping her hand on Morgan's shoulder. "But I'm okay. Promise."
"Daddy used to cry too…he told me he missed you."
She didn't let herself think about that. Couldn't let herself think about that. Not if she was going to get through a day of…well, whatever they were going to be doing at the orchard. Instead, she crouched down. "Climb on," she instructed, and with an excited squeal, Morgan did, crawling up her back and holding her neck for dear life as Penny straightened. "I'll get us out of here."
Morgan screamed and giggled in delight when Penny started to run, and she felt something in her chest unclench. This, at least, was uncomplicated. This was a little girl that, for some reason, looked up to her and loved her without really knowing her, and Penny at least knew how to act around her. They headed straight for the exit, and Morgan gasped as they stepped out into the field where, just a few feet away, Pepper and Mr. Stark sat on a stack of hay bales and sipped coffees.
Mr. Stark had a daughter that he trusted Penny to take care of while he went and got coffee.
"How did you do that?" Morgan cried, jumping down from her back and holding Penny's arm.
Penny just smiled, feeling awkward again when Mr. Stark smiled at them. "I'm good at mazes," she told the girl lamely, watching her run up to her parents and launch herself into her mom's arms.
"We were lost, but Penny got us out!"
She didn't know that smile that Mr. Stark gave them…didn't recognize the softness and love in his eyes as he kissed Morgan on the top of her head. "Yeah, she's good at that."
Morgan insisted on breakfast next, which sounded good to Penny as they made their way to a cafe, her trying to stay on Pepper's other side, a few steps away from the family she was here with. But when they entered the crowded cafe, Pepper put a hand on her shoulder, steering her a little closer like she was afraid of losing her. "Why don't you two find a table, and we'll get the food?" she offered, and Mr. Stark wrapped an arm around Morgan, mirroring his wife, and guided her over to the display case.
"What do you think? Apple fritter? Pumpkin bread?" Pepper asked as though Penny should have any kind of opinion about this. "Her majesty wants ice cream, but I'm trying to pick something that at least looks like breakfast food."
"Um…does she like pumpkin donuts?" Penny asked, naming the first thing she saw.
"I'll bet she will. We'll get a couple of everything, and you can take some home to May when you go. How is May?"
"She…uh…she's great. Really busy. With Feast and work but…she likes it. And Happy has been helping a lot." Happy, at least, was the same. He'd been blipped or whatever they were calling it too.
"Good. We'll have to have Iron Man show up one day with Spider-Girl."
She wasn't sure how Pepper knew that Spider-Girl had become a kind of unofficial mascot for her aunt's new charity, but nodded anyway. "That would be great. More people would come and donate for sure."
The two carried trays full of fall treats to the table where Morgan immediately began to dig in. When Penny went to hand her the hot chocolate, she held it back for just a second, waiting for Morgan to meet her eyes. "Careful. It's really hot. Let it cool down for a minute."
The little girl nodded solemnly, taking the cup and placing it carefully on the table, and Mr. Stark chucked. "Oh, you listen to her," he joked, grinning at Pepper who smiled into her coffee. Penny took a sip of her pumpkin spiced latte, not meeting his eyes.
"She's a superhero!" Morgan whispered, like that was the most obvious answer in the world, and Penny had to laugh a little when Pepper did. "And she knows how to get out of corn mazes."
"Well, I can't argue with that."
The petting zoo was next, and Penny watched from the sidelines as Mr. Stark petted the goats and the pigs and the cow, all while assuring Morgan it was perfectly safe. She tried to remember if she'd ever seen Mr. Stark in the vicinity of an animal and failed. Morgan begged her to join them so she did, her mind a million miles away as she stroked the wiry fur of a goat while Morgan hid behind her at first. But by the time they were ready to move on, Morgan had her arms around his neck in a careful hug.
Next was the hayride which was just a few train cars pulled by a tractor through the fields. Then a playground where Morgan begged Penny to push her on the swings and Penny obliged. And finally, pumpkin picking, where Morgan chatted her ear off about what made the best pumpkin and how to pick the perfect one and then about their trip to get a Christmas tree and how she'd gotten to pick one and how there had been a bird somewhere…Penny lost the thread of the conversation there for a minute but she made herself smile and nod along like she was listening.
She waited until Pepper took Morgan to the bathroom to slip away. Mr. Stark was paying for the pumpkins, juggling three of them, and Penny told him that she'd be right back, figuring that he'd assume she too was going to the bathroom. Instead, she walked in the direction of the lake, stepping out onto the dock and leaning on the railing. There was a little machine with food to throw to the fish and the geese, and she put three quarters in, grabbing her handful of pellets and tossing them one by one into the lake.
Mr. Stark found her there almost thirty minutes later, and for a moment, she felt his eyes on her as she continued to toss the pellets to the geese. She was officially out of quarters, and tears had started falling at least twenty minutes ago, but she couldn't make them stop. She didn't know what she was doing here. She didn't know how to make this aching in her chest stop. All she wanted to do was go home but she feared that even that wouldn't make this better.
"Careful. I've heard they'll take your hand off if you stop feeding them. I don't know if a spider can take down a duck."
It was so close to a joke he'd have made before that her breath caught, more tears running down her cheeks, and she didn't dare turn around. But he knew somehow…not much got past Tony Stark.
"Pen," he murmured, sounding like he never had before. Soft and gentle and so worried, and she has to press a hand to her mouth in an attempt to stop sobbing. "Honey…" His hand landed on her arm and she cried harder, shaking her head, but he just pulled her into his arms, the rest of the bird food falling from her limp hand into the water. "Hey…what's wrong?"
She just shook her head, but he pressed a hand to the back of her head and held her tight, like this was normal. Like he'd held her a thousand times while she'd cried when, in fact, she'd never once cried in front of Tony Stark.
"Come on, honey, talk to me," he urged. "What's going on?"
"You're different," she sobbed, the words escaping even though she didn't want them to, but it was like a gate had been opened and she couldn't close it if she tried. "You're so different…I don't understand…and I shouldn't be here! You're…you're with your family and I'm not your family! I was…I was just your intern but…I don't know who you are anymore!" He stiffened a little which only made her cry harder. "I'm sorry…I'm sorry. I'll go. I'm sorry. I'll walk…I'll…"
"Hey," he murmured, holding her tight, and she could have pulled away but she didn't. "Honey…don't go. Please."
And she couldn't do it…couldn't pull away. Not when he sounded like that. "I'm sorry," she whispered again, but he just shook his head.
"Nothing to be sorry for, Pen."
Before she could argue, he led her over to a bench that was perilously close to where the geese were congregating, but she figured she could take them if she had to. When she gathered the courage to meet her eyes, he was looking at her with so much sadness…but there was love there too. Only that didn't make sense! He hadn't loved her. He'd…he'd liked her, maybe. He'd tolerated her.
"You were never just my intern, Penny," he told her, shaking his head when she opened her mouth to argue. "You weren't. And I'm so sorry I was never able to explain how much you meant to me. You…honey…you were my family. You were like my kid. And I loved you so much. It felt like it might kill me, losing you. I never let myself know if before but…but the second you were gone…God, Pen, I couldn't believe how stupid I'd been."
"You aren't…" she started, ready to argue on impulse. Mr. Stark wasn't stupid. He'd never been stupid. But he shook his head, cutting her off.
"You were the one that made me a father first. I never wanted kids before you, Penny. I loved you so much. I loved having you over and I loved working in the lab with you. Every bit of it. I should have told you that before. I was so afraid of messing things up." He shook his head. "And I know things are different now. I know it probably feels strange. But as far as Pepper and I are concerned, you're a part of our family. You have a room at the house. You're Morgan's big sister, at least according to her. She was actually the one that started that," he admitted with a chuckle.
"Morgan…she…she told me that you…you missed me," she all but whispered, and he nodded.
"I did. So much. I…I never thought I'd get to see you again. I can't believe I got you back." He still smiled at her like she was a marvel. "I know I'm different. I…losing you and having a kid and all this…it made me different." He smiled, nodding a little to himself. "I know this is hard, Pen. I'm sorry. I should have sat down with you before. Talked about all this."
She knew why he hadn't. Because she hadn't let him. Because she hadn't wanted to talk about any of it. Because she'd been afraid.
But he loved her. She wasn't just his intern. She was his…his kid? She had a room at his house?
"Penny!" The two looked up and Penny hurried to wipe her cheeks as Morgan came sprinting over, their previous conversation quickly abandoned. "Can I feed the…"
Penny jumped up before Pepper, who was hurrying behind her, or Mr. Stark could react, reaching out swinging Morgan into her arms before the angry goose who'd been on its way over could reach her. She swung a leg at the goose, not making contact, as she tried to get it to back off.
"Geese?" Morgan finished, unphased.
"Um…yeah. If your parents have quarters. I'm all out."
"I think we can afford it," Mr. Stark told her, patting her on the back. "Nice save, Spider-Girl." A goose hissed at him and he gave it an unimpressed look, shaking his own leg at it. "Maybe we should go to the other side, huh? Feed the fish instead. I have a feeling they'll be a little more grateful. We seem to have worn out our welcome here."
"Are you thinking about something sad again?" Morgan asked Penny softly, but not so softly that Mr. Stark and Pepper wouldn't hear.
"I…yeah. I was. But I'm okay now," she told her, smiling a little when Mr. Stark wrapped an arm around her shoulders, squeezing her in a tight hug.
He was different now. So different. But maybe…maybe that didn't have to be a bad thing.
He loved her. He thought of her as his kid.
"Daddy, can Penny sleep over?"
"If she wants to," he told her without hesitating.
"Will you watch a movie with me tonight? And read me a bedtime story? Daddy's stories are boring."
"Hey!"
"They're always about a little girl named Morguna who goes to sleep," Morgan confided.
Penny barked out a laugh. "That does sound boring."
"That's not true. Sometimes I tell you stories about Spider-Girl."
"Oh yeah! And how she beat Big Bird!"
Penny narrowed her eyes at that, then glanced at Mr. Stark. "Big Bird?" she mouthed.
"The Vulture," he corrected, and she nodded.
"Right."
"I think she got it mixed up with Sesame Street."
"Oh! Penny wants ice cream too!" Morgan informed them suddenly, making Pepper laugh.
"I think you're the one that wants ice cream."
"But Penny does too! Right?" the little girl on her hip asked, and Penny had to smile.
"Ice cream does sound good," she agreed, turning to Mr. Stark who was looking at her again…her and Morgan both. Like they were everything he'd ever wanted.
"Alright. How about this, little miss. We feed the fish, we get ice cream, and then we head home. Penny hasn't gotten to see my new lab yet, and it's about time for your nap, Morguna."
"I'm too big for naps!" she cried, her face the picture of outrage.
"You are?" Penny asked, feigning surprise. "I love naps."
Morgan stared at her then, eyes wide. "You do?"
"Yeah! I take them all the time." That, at least, was kind of true, and Morgan seemed to think for a minute before coming to a conclusion.
"Me too. I like naps."
Pepper chuckled a little to herself as Morgan jumped down, running towards the little vending machine with fish painted on the sides, and Mr. Stark wrapped his arm around her once more, this time holding her close as they walked. "What do you say, Pen? Want to take a look at the new lab?"
Part of her wanted to tell him that she missed the old one…but the old one was gone. The place where they'd spent so many days together, tinkering with his old car and upgrading her suit and working on internship projects was gone. But, she realized as he smiled at her, maybe that was okay. It would be hard to move forward. It would be hard to get used to this new Mr. Stark and this new dynamic between them.
But she wanted to do it anyway.
Maybe there were more lab days ahead.
"That sounds great."
"Good. Also, quick heads up, if you can get Morgan to willingly take naps again, Pepper might not let you leave."
Penny laughed, leaning against his side as they watched Morgan carefully carry the pellets of fish food to the water's edge, spilling half of them on her way. "Well, I do have a room, apparently."
"That you do, kiddo."