A short one today, considering it was a very busy day. I hope you enjoy anyway!

Vomiting

Tony's first thought when he saw Penny on her knees in front of a toilet, throwing up what he guessed was alcohol she'd stolen from Thor was, 'I deserve this.' At least, Rhodey would say that he deserved it. So would Pepper. And probably his parents, if they had been around. Every college professor he'd ever pissed off. Every bush he'd vomited in in high school and college. They'd all agree. If there was one thing Tony Stark deserved, it was having to deal with a drunk teenager throwing up in the bathroom of a frat house.

The second was that the boy kneeling beside her, or rather…the college aged young man kneeling beside her, was entirely too familiar…to close.

He had to swallow down his anger…or he started to. He quickly abandoned that plan when Penny sat up and startled at the man with a hand splayed on her stomach, pushing weakly at his shoulder.

"Stop," she slurred, flinching away when he only moved closer, which was all the signal he needed to intervene.

"Hey!" he snapped, grabbing the guy by the shoulder and shoving him against the back wall. "Back the fuck off!"

"The hell man…" the guy muttered, wiping a hand over his face as he seemed to try and figure out what had just happened, but even if it had turned into a fight, Tony figured he was too drunk to pose much of a threat.

"She's seventeen. Get the fuck out before I throw you out a window, asshole."

The anger didn't last long…the second the boy scrambled out of the room, Tony slammed the door shut and locked it, then knelt by the girl on her knees in front of the toilet.

He was pretty sure May Parker had told her very firmly that she wasn't allowed to come to this party. He was also pretty sure that he was the reason Penny was here. He hadn't meant to hurt the kid's feelings before, but he knew he had. He'd been neck-deep in blueprints and phone calls and deadlines, and Penny had been working on her final project for her internship. It was her senior year, and the kid spent almost every day either patrolling or in the lab working with him. And he didn't mind! He loved working with the girl he'd started to see as something more than a mentee and…well, not a daughter. He wouldn't presume to call her his daughter. But she felt like his kid, and everyone in his life called her his kid, so it was hard not to think it.

She'd asked for his help for the third time when she couldn't quite get the coding to work out and it had been an offhand joke, said with a smile. "It's the weekend, Pen. What are you even doing here? Why can't you act like a normal teenager?" But he'd seen the look on her face, startled and then hurt and then upset, but he hadn't apologized…he hadn't really known how to find the words to assure her that he loved having her around and that he loved being with her and that he loved her.

So they'd moved past it. He'd helped her and she hadn't asked for his help again. Then she'd headed up to his apartment to grab a snack, taking her backpack with her, and then she'd left.

The very same backpack that now sat discarded at her side, a familiar bottle poking out from inside. He doubted Thor would mind…he'd brought plenty of bottles of his favorite Asgardian alcohol (Tony wasn't sure what exactly it was called as the label wasn't in English and the last time he'd asked Thor to pronounce it, he'd said something incomprehensible) the last time he'd come to Earth.

He assumed Penny hadn't known it was Thor's…that she'd just grabbed one (or maybe two) of the first alcohol bottles she'd seen. And, yeah, that was fairly normal teenage behavior. So he guessed he didn't really have a leg to stand on when it came to scolding her. May was a different story, but that would come later. Besides, he couldn't find it in himself to be angry when she was so sick. Worried, sure. But not angry.

For the moment, he gathered her hair and held it back, a hand resting on her back. "I hope you remember this the next time you steal from Thor," he told her softly, and she started to rest her forehead on the toilet but he caught her by the shoulders and pulled her back against him instead, grabbing the paper towel he'd already gotten wet and wiped her face. She groaned and rested her head on his shoulder.

"Thor?"

"Yep. That was his stuff. You somehow picked the strongest alcohol I possess to get drunk for the first time. If you weren't part spider, I'd be worried about alcohol poisoning."

She groaned again, body shuddering as she started to wretch, and he helped her lean over the toilet again. "Feel bad," she muttered when she was done. "Weird. Bad."

"Sounds about right. You've now left the 'fun drunk' stage and have entered the 'shitty drunk' stage."

To his surprise, her shoulders started to shake and she covered her face with her hands, letting out a sob and nearly falling face first against the toilet again. He caught her as fast as he could, pulling her against his chest once more.

"I'm sorry…it wasn't fun!" she sobbed, and he sighed, patting her back. "I don't like this!'

"So you're a sad drunk. Good to know," he told her with a sad smile, voice gentle like it always was when she was upset. He'd never imagined himself capable of doing something like comforting a teenage girl, but the first time he'd seen her upset, it had come so naturally. Now it was practically second nature.

"I don't feel good…I didn't mean to steal from Thor!"

"I know. I'm sure he'll forgive you, Pen."

"I don't even know him," she cried, and he rubbed her back and wondered how his life had become so full of the domestic problems of a teenage girl, and why he didn't mind…not at all. "I'm sorry," she told him again, voice slurring a little.

"It's okay, Pen. You think you can get up?"

"Is he here?"

"Thor? Nope, I've got no idea where he is. But if he ever visits, I'll take the fall. I'll tell him I drank it."

"No…the guy…"

Feeling cold, Tony squeezed her in a gentle hug. "Nope. He's not here. I threw him out," he told her, voice forcibly light.

"Don't like him."

"Me either."

Penny had been the one to text him. She must have confused her voice to text with Karen because the text he'd received had read 'Karen can you trex Me. stack bask him if he can pip me in please?' It had taken an additional five minutes for him to decipher that, but once he'd managed, he'd been on his way, telling Friday to track her phone all the way to the frat house that she wasn't supposed to be in. Apparently the guy throwing the party was a friend of a friend. Or something. Tony didn't care. He just wanted to get her out of it.

She took the hand he held out to her, and he grabbed her backpack, zipping it and throwing it over his shoulder before she tried to bend over to grab it and fell down. Looping an arm around her shoulders, Tony led her through the party that was still in full swing, every so drunk or otherwise distracted that they didn't notice Tony Stark pushing past them.

The girl under his arm swayed a little, stumbling every few minutes, but he finally managed to get her out of the house and out onto the front porch where she promptly threw up again in a shrub. He caught her before she could fall face first into it, patting her back and pulling her hair away from her face, glad he'd never tried any of Thor's alcohol before.

"Easy, kiddo. How much did you drink?"

"Just one."

"One cup?"

"One bottle."

"Not your best idea, Pen," he told her with a sigh, unlocking the car and opening the passenger door.

"You told me to be a normal teenager," she slurred, obviously trying for angry and landing somewhere near hurt, and he hesitated, then helped her into the car before hurrying over to the driver's side. Once he was inside, he turned to her, resting a hand on her shoulder.

"I didn't mean you should steal alcohol from my liquor cabinet and go to a party your aunt told you not to go to."

She was silent and Tony squeezed her shoulder, feeling an overwhelming mix of affection and exasperation.

"You know, I'm probably going to have to repeat all of this considering you're drunk, but I guess it bears repeating. I was making a joke, Pen. I love having you in the lab. Hell, kid, ask Pepper. I won't shut up about how much I love having you over." He didn't bother saying the rest…that he'd been stressed and hadn't been thinking and had assumed she would understand it was a joke because he couldn't imagine his love for this kid was anything but blatantly obvious. For the last two years, as the Avengers had slowly come back together and as Penny had started spending more and more time with him, both in and out of the lab, this kid had wormed her way into his heart, and now he couldn't imagine life without her.

Penny didn't answer as they sat in the dark car, and he put the key into the ignition, only for the overhead lights to come on, revealing her sound asleep against the window, and he chuckled, shaking his head. "Right," he mumbled. "Good talk, Spiderling."

Four hours later and Tony was still at her side in the living room, her lying on her side with a blanket wrapped around her and a bucket on the floor by her face. He sat by her head, a hand on her hair, the TV going softly in the background. He'd been sure that she would wake up when he carried her to the car, but she hadn't even stirred. Now, though, he heard her mumble, then start to turn over, freezing before she would have rolled off the bed.

She started to sit up then, but barely made it two inches before freezing, a hand going to her head. "Oh, god," she whispered, and he brushed her hair behind her ear, heart squeezing in sympathy.

"I know, kiddo."

"Ugh…no…" She pressed a hand to her ear, shaking her head just a little. "God…please…bright…"

"Friday, TV," he ordered in a whisper, and the TV shut off. "I've got pain meds in the kitchen. Think you could drink some water?"

She nodded, and by the time he returned with the medicine and a glass of ice water, feeling his way through the penthouse in the dark, she was sitting up, a hand on her forehead, head leaning back against the sofa. Without a word, he sat next to her, putting the pills in her hand, then handing her the glass of water. He waited for her to drain the whole glass before speaking once more in a whisper.

"You okay?"

"I'm dying," she answered, also in a whisper, and he chuckled.

"I don't think I ever have to worry about you going out and getting drunk again."

"I didn't think I could get drunk!"

"Asgardian liquor, kiddo. That stuff packs a punch, even for spider-kids." He scooted closer, and without hesitation she curled up beside him, head resting on his shoulder. "You were pretty sick. You probably need some more water. I was worried I was going to have to hook you up to fluids, Pen."

She groaned, maybe in embarrassment.

"Don't worry. I'm sure they didn't care about that bush anyway.

She groaned again, this time for sure in embarrassment, and he grinned into the darkness. "What time is it?"

"A little past midnight."

A pause. Then, "I know it was stupid. I'm sorry."

"That's okay. God knows I made my share of stupid mistakes when I was your age."

"I…you said…I just wanted to…" She trailed off and he got it. She'd wanted to prove something. She'd been hurt and so she'd acted without really thinking. And once again, he'd made that mistake a thousand times. But he still didn't want there to be any misunderstanding between them.

"I love having you over, Pen. I love it. I love working with you in the lab and getting to spend time with you." He closed his eyes, the words made easier in the darkness, and by how long he'd felt them. "You're like my kid. I won't shut up about you…the Avengers are sick of stories about my intern. I love you, kid, and I'm sorry I made that stupid joke."

She was quiet for a second. Then, "I love you too." It was said in a whisper, her cheek resting on his shoulder. "I'm sorry I made you come pick me up."

"Hey, don't ever be sorry for that. You ever need me to come pick you up, call me. No matter what. I mean it, honey. I don't care if you've snuck out or if you're drunk. Just call me and I'll come."

She nodded, and he wrapped arn arm around her, pressing a kiss to her hair. "Mr. Stark?"

"Hm?"

"Do we have to tell May?"

He smiled, squeezing her in a hug. "I don't know. How sure are you that you can keep this from her?"

"Like…82%?"

"That's good enough for me."

He doubted they would actually be able to keep this from May Parker, but for Penny, he was willing to try.