Hello! This is a sequel to day 16: Amputation

Left Behind

There was nothing harder, Tony thought, than being left behind. That's what he'd thought when he'd been on Titan, crouching at Peter's side as the boy had turned to dust in his arms, apologizing once more before he'd been gone for good. And Tony had wanted to disappear too. He hadn't wanted to go on living when he didn't even know how to get home and the boy he'd come to care so much about was gone. Dead.

He'd had years to think about everything he'd done wrong with Peter. Even after Morgan had come along, those thoughts had come to him in flashes at the most random times…memories of that night in the car when Peter had hugged him and he'd told him they weren't there yet. Why? He could have just hugged the kid. There hadn't been any need to embarrass him. He'd been startled, sure, but he'd felt bad the moment the kid had gotten out of the car and every once in a while, when he'd been working in his lab after everything, or when he'd been holding Morgan or making breakfast for Pepper, he would remember that earnest young boy who had looked at him with worship in his eyes…who had wrapped his arms around Tony in a car after fighting the Avengers, and he would wish he could do it all over. He would wish that he could go back and wrap the boy in his arms and just hold him.

He'd spent five years reliving so many of the moments they'd spent together. Yelling at him after the ferry. The phone call he'd gotten when Peter had stopped the Vulture from stealing the Avengers tech. The worry when he'd seen pictures of the plane, now in pieces on the beach. But there had been good memories too…Peter chatting with him about school in the lab and the two of them working on projects together for hours, both of them losing track of time. Peter spoke his language. He could keep up in the lab. By the end, he was one of Tony's favorite people to be around.

Tony woke from dreams of Peter that morning, instinctively trying to hold on to the hazy memories before abruptly remembering that he didn't need to…that Peter was alive. That he'd somehow been lucky enough to get the boy back for the low low price of his right arm. And sure, it was frustrating and sometimes embarrassing the things that he needed help with now, especially when he'd first woken up in a hospital, but he'd do it all again to get Peter back.

Pepper had told him that he should call Peter. He'd seen the kid on the battlefield, and then he'd visited that first week when Tony had woken up in the hospital. At least, that's what Pepper had told him. He had vague memories of being on pain medicine, the whole world fuzzy, and seeing Peter sitting by his bed, looking shy and worried.

He'd wanted to tell Peter not to be afraid…that he loved him and that he was so glad to see him and that he was going to be fine. But the words had been impossible to find and then he'd gone to sleep and Peter had been gone. Rhodey had been there the next time he'd woken up and had assure Tony that it hadn't been a dream…that Peter had been there, but that he'd gone home with his aunt, and that the two of them were moving into a new apartment, which Pepper had helped them find. Tony had kept all of their stuff in storage, never listening to the quiet voice in his mind telling him that there was no need...that they were gone. That he'd said that he would move on.

He'd been dying to have the kid come for a visit ever since he'd been allowed to leave the hospital and go home to the lakehouse where he could recover in peace...or as much peace as his four-year-old would allow him. Pepper had even approached him about it a few times. "I know you miss him, and I'm sure he'd love to see you. Why don't you give him a call?"

There had been a million excuses. The kid was busy. Friday kept tabs on Spider-Man for him, and Tony read every article that mentioned him, from the opinion pieces praising everything he did to the Daily Bugle calling him a menace. (Tony may or may not have sent them a threatening letter after reading that one.) He checked the suit's logs, making sure Peter wasn't injured when he went out, and that he didn't stay out too late…not that he'd have ratted him out to May. Still…he just wanted to make sure he was okay. That he was adjusting to all of this.

But he'd missed him so much. It was worse, sometimes, knowing Peter was alive and not being able to jump into a car or even his armor and go see him. They didn't have a standing lab day anymore...hell, there was no more Avengers Compound, and Peter had finished his internship anwyay, although that hadn't kept him from coming over before. There was so much he wanted to say to Peter…so much he wanted to tell him. Still, he knew Peter was busy. He would wait…that's what he'd told himself. He would focus on healing and then he would get Peter to come out to the lake house, or maybe he'd go to him.

And then Peter had knocked on his bedroom door, looking so hesitant and nervous and telling him that he'd made lunch. Pepper had told him she was taking Morgan to visit her family…she had not told him that Peter would been staying with him. But if she'd been trying to get him to finally face the kid, she'd done a great job. Not that he'd been avoiding him…and he hoped that Peter hadn't been avoiding him either. He just…he didn't know how to tell Peter how much he cared about him. He had no idea to explain that he loved him and that the only reason he hadn't been able to tell him that before was that he'd had a shitty father and that he'd been afraid of hurting him…or of getting too close and getting hurt himself.

Peter had spent a lot of the previous day looking nervous and out of place, as though it was possible that Tony wouldn't want him there, but he had relaxed as Tony had showed him around the farm. He'd seemed fascinated by the chickens and Gerald, and had stared out at the lake so deep in thought that Tony had longed to ask him what was on his mind. But when he finally had, Peter had just assured him that Tony didn't have to entertain him, as though spending time with Peter was some kind of chore. And Tony had wanted to take him by the shoulders (or..shoulder, considering he only had one hand now) and shake him, then pull him into his arms and tell him just how excited he'd been to see him. How it still felt impossible that Peter could be alive.

Things had felt almost normal between them as they'd worked in the lab, and Tony had even put off taking the pain pills Pepper insisted he take on a strict schedule, not wanting to fall asleep when he could be hanging out with Peter. In the end, though, he'd opted to lay on the couch even though he'd known that the pain pill would probably knock him out for the night, wanting every minute he could get with the kid. The last thing he remembered was Friday turning on a movie and laying back against the couch cushions, although he had dreamed about Peter…had dreamed about telling him how much he loved him and promising to do better.

Grimacing at how stiff he felt after a night spent on the couch and struggling for a second, he pushed himself upright, looking around and hoping Peter hadn't seen. He didn't want the kid to worry…not to mention, he couldn't help feeling embarrassed that Iron Man himself could barely sit up on his own these days. He'd started looking into making a prosthetic, but had quickly realized that doing something like that on his own was more than he could take on right now. So he'd shelved the project, hoping to go back to it later.

Tony went to his own room to shower and get changed, a process that took longer than ever before, then changed the covering on his right arm. He had that, at least, down to a science considering how often it had to be done. Then, stomach growling, Tony hesitated by the guest room that was really Peter's, knocking on the door, but there was no answer. Figuring he must have missed him in the kitchen, he went to check where he was proven wrong immediately. The clock on the stove told him that it was almost eleven in the morning, and he felt a twinge of worry.

"Fri, where's Peter?"

"Peter is currently in your lab."

That…actually wasn't much of a surprise, he realized with a rueful smile. He should have thought to check there first. For a moment, he considered making them lunch, but he still hadn't quite gotten the hang of cooking with only one hand, so he headed for the stairs to the lab instead, being careful to grip the railing as he made his way down. Peter had seemed the most comfortable in his lab the day before, and although he hoped that as the week went by, Peter would feel comfortable everywhere, he had been glad to see the kid back in his element.

At first, he didn't spot Peter in the basement lab which was almost as big as his house, running nearly the full length of it. But as he took a few steps toward the desk where Peter had been working the day before, he froze, finally spotting the kid. His head was laying on top of a stack of papers, a tablet resting precariously close to the ledge, his backpack lying on its side a few feet away. There was a second tablet propped against some books, and his notebook was covered in sketches and writing. A pencil lay on the floor where Tony had to assume he'd dropped in when he'd fallen asleep.

"What was he doing?" Tony asked, bemused as he moved closer, his soft question directed towards Friday.

"Take a look," she invited, matching his tone, and the tablet propped up against the books came to life. Tony grabbed it, careful not to jostle Peter, then felt his chest squeeze almost painfully in his chest, a watery smile taking over his whole face.

The title of the document that hovered over the tablet was 'Iron Arm V 1.7' and there was a 3D rendering of a prosthetic arm, complete with at least three pages of notes on tweaks to make it better. It resembled Bucky's arm, except it was the exact same shade of red as his suit, the palm and fingers a vibrant gold.

"How long was he working on this?" he asked Friday in a near whisper.

"He began work at 8:13pm, and fell asleep at 9:04am."

Tony huffed out a soft, affectionate laugh as he rested a hand on Peter's hair. That sounded about right. He wanted to hold the kid…wanted to squeeze him tight like he did Morgan when his daughter reached out for him. He wanted to tell him that he loved him and that he was such a good kid…but he didn't want to freak him out. So he just brushed a hand through his hair.

"Pete? You're going to be sore if you sleep there all day," he warned him quietly, moving his hand to his shoulder and shaking it a little. "Peter?"

The boy jerked awake, eyes wide and underscored by dark shadows. "What?" he asked, looking around the room before focusing on Tony. "What?"

"You fell asleep at your desk. You know, you should really try to avoid picking up my bad habits." There was nothing but fondness in his voice, and Peter furrowed his brow, obviously still trying to catch up, when suddenly he saw the tablet in Tony's hand.

"Oh! Oh…I…I just closed my eyes for a second…"

"It's almost eleven."

"What?" he cried, jumping to his feet only to sway a little, and Tony hurried to grip his shoulder, trying to steady him. "No! I…I have to feed the animals and make lunch! I'm so sorry…I didn't mean to…"

"Woah…take a breath, Spiderling," he urged, rubbing his hand up and down Peter's arm. "You're fine. The animals are fine. I'm fine. We're all fine. Breathe."

"No, I'm supposed to be helping you…"

"Peter," he murmured, squeezing his shoulder and deciding to take a leap, and Peter went quiet, eyes still wide. "Do you know why Pepper really asked you to stay here for a week?"

"Because…because you need help…"

"With some things," he allowed, nodding. "Not as many as you'd think, though. I've gotten pretty good at doing things with one hand, and almost anyplace will deliver if you offer them enough money...and are Iron Man. No, Pepper asked you to stay with me because she knew how much I missed you."

The kid's jaw literally dropped before he snapped his mouth shut, blinking at him like what he'd said hadn't made sense.

"I've only seen you once since…" he hesitated, not sure how to refer to the battle that had leveled the Avengers Compound and lost him a hand. "Since I woke up. I've barely gotten to talk to you. She knew that I wanted to see you." He hesitated. "It just about killed me, losing you," Tony admitted softly. "Even after Morgan was born and even after we moved out here…I tried to move on. I tried to grieve you and move on with my life. But I couldn't stop thinking about you. I couldn't stop remembering every time I pushed you away because I was so damn afraid and…and stupid…"

"You weren't…"

"I was," he interrupted gently. "I was stupid because I didn't let myself see how much you meant to me…not until I'd lost you. And then I got you back." He finally gave into the urge to tug Peter close, hugging him as tightly as he could and feeling that same overwhelming love he felt when he held his daughter…as when he'd worked with Peter in the lab or eaten takeout with him before he'd lost him, listening to the kid tell him about school and his friends and everything in between. Only before, he hadn't dared put a name to that feeling. Now he knew exactly what it was.

Peter hugged him back after a second, careful and gentle like he always was, and Tony pressed a kiss to his hair. "You said…last night, before you fell asleep, you said that you'd done a bad job before, but that you were going to do better," Peter murmured, not moving his head from his shoulder. "You told me that you loved me." That last part was said in a near whisper, and Tony had to strain a little to hear.

"I do. Pete…I love you so much. I'm so proud of you. You're such a good kid and…Jesus, I got lucky meeting you."

"I love you too." He said it like an admission he'd been holding onto for a long time, and Tony could only imagine that he never would have dared before. He couldn't blame him. "I…I used to wish that you…"

He didn't need to finish that statement, which was good, because he trailed off, voice dying, but Tony just squeezed him tighter. He was the adult, so he would be the brave one this time. He'd go out on the limb. "I can't believe it took you dying for me to realize how important you were to me…I'm so sorry, Pete. But you were like my kid. You are like my kid. That guest room is yours. I wanted you to know that you're welcome here. Always. Also, I got you a car."

That had Peter pulling away, wide-eyed and incredulous now. "Wait…what?"

Tony just shrugged, grin unrepentant. "Yeah. I wanted you to have a way to get out here."

"But…you…I don't…"

"You have your permit." It wasn't a question...Tony had hacked into the DMV.

"Yeah, but…"

"What better place to learn that out here? There's barely any traffic. It's a lot quieter than New York. Less angry taxi drivers ready to fight you if you accidentally cut them off. We can restart the internship if you want, and Happy will have more time to spend with your aunt."

Peter's nose wrinkled. "Mr. Stark…"

"Come on. My kid came back from the dead, Pete. Let me have this one." Peter still seemed skeptical, and he grinned. "Does it help that I just picked one I already owned? It's not even new."

A smile finally broke through, and Peter shook his head. "You didn't have to do that."

"I don't have to do anything, Underoos. I'm Tony Stark."

Peter laughed at that, rolling his eyes like only a teenager could, and it was one of the best things Tony had ever seen.

"Now, how about we feed all the animals, and then we can take your new car for a spin and find some lunch. The closest restaurant is only about fifteen minutes away."

"I thought it wasn't new."

Tony laughed, ruffling his hair and giving him a gentle push. "Come on, Spiderling. After we eat, I'd like to take a look at what you've been working on."

Peter blanched, looking suddenly nervous. "I…I mean…it's just an idea and it's nowhere near ready and…"

"I don't believe that for a second, Pete." He slung his left arm around Peter, guiding him towards the stairs. "I, for one, can't wait to see what the Amazing Spider-Man came up with."

Peter huffed out a laugh. "One headline calls me that…" he muttered.

"On second thought, are you sure you can drive? You only slept for two hours."

He scoffed, obviously offended. "That's nothing. Once I stayed up for two days straight studying for finals and I was totally fine."

"Oh to be young again," Tony muttered, leaning on him just a little as they made their way up the stairs. "Remember what I said, Pete. No picking up my bad habits."

"You don't have any."

He chuckled, shaking his head. "Flattery will get you nowhere, Peter Parker." It was blatantly untrue and Peter knew it, but Tony was too happy to care.

Thanks for reading!