Jennie

The day had finally come.

I stood five feet away from the pool, my skin etched with goosebumps even though the temperature hovered at a toasty eighty-four degrees thanks to the hotel's state-of-the-art heating system.

I wore a one-piece Eres swimsuit, courtesy of Lisa, who'd handed me the shopping bag without a word when she picked me up for our lesson today.

After weeks of learning relaxation techniques and acclimating myself to the thought of being in water, it was time for me to get in the water.

I wanted to throw up. Panic gripped me, its icy claws digging into my sweat-slicked skin and drawing invisible blood. My stomach pumped in rhythm with my wild heart, causing my breakfast to slosh around like rubber ducks in a bath.

"Breathe." Lisa's calm voice steadied me somewhat. "Remember our lessons."

"Okay." I dragged in a lungful of air and almost gagged at the smell of chlorine. "I can do this, I can do this," I chanted.

"I'll go in first." She stepped into the pool until she was waist-deep in the water and held out her hand.

I stared at her, willing my feet to move.

"I'll be right here. I won't let anything happen to you." She radiated calm confidence. "Do you trust me?"

I gulped. "Y-yes."

I realized with a start that I did. One hundred percent. Lisa may not be the nicest or easiest person to get along with, but I trusted her with my life. Literally.

I edged toward the pool and held my breath as I stepped in and grabbed her hand, letting her strength calm my thundering nerves. The water sloshed around my thighs, and I stumbled.

The hotel's pool room spun, the pale blue walls and terracotta tiles flashing before me in a blur. Oh God, I can't do this. I can't—

"Close your eyes. Deep breaths," Lisa said. "That's it…"

I did as she instructed, allowing her voice to wash over me until most of the panic subsided.

"How do you feel?" she asked.

"Better." I cleared my throat and tried to focus on the small radius around us instead of the entire pool. It was a standard Olympic-size pool, but it might as well be the Atlantic Ocean. "I—I'm ready."

As ready as I'll ever be.

We started on the shallow end, and Lisa had me walk around so I could get used to the feeling of the water and my body's buoyancy. After that, we went deeper until I was submerged up to my shoulders. I clung to the relaxation techniques I'd learned over the past few months, and they worked—until we reached the part of the lesson where I had to put my head underwater.

I closed my eyes before I dipped my face in, unable to bear the sight of the water rushing toward me.

"Help! Mommy, help me!"

The words echoed in my head.

So cold. So dark.

I couldn't breathe.

Something glinted at the edges of my consciousness. A faint memory, perhaps, but it floated away every time I tried to grasp it.

"Please!"

I sank deeper.

Deeper.

Deeper still.

Pleasepleaseplease.

Icantbreathecantbreathecantbreathe.

"Jennie!"

I gasped, the sound of my name jerking me back to the present. My screams echoed against the stone walls before fading into oblivion. I wasn't sure how long I'd been under. It felt like mere seconds, but judging by how cold I was and how much my throat hurt, it must've been longer.

Lisa clutched my arms, her face white. "Jesus," she breathed, pulling me roughly into her chest while I choked out a sob. We were no longer in the pool—she must've carried me out during my mini blackout. "It's okay. You're okay. We're out."

"I'm sorry." I buried my face in her chest, embarrassed and furious with myself. "I thought I could do it. I thought—"

"You did great," she said firmly. "This is your first lesson. There'll be more, and you'll get better each time."

"Promise?"

"I promise."

I shuddered, curling into her warmth. She felt strong and solid beneath my touch, and I was once again struck by the contradiction that was Lisa Manoban. So cold and uncaring to the world, yet so warm and protective when she wanted to be. I'd known her for eight years, yet I hadn't known her at all.

She wasn't the person I thought she was. She was so much better, even when she tried to convince me she was worse, and I wanted her like nothing before. Not only physically, but mentally and emotionally. I wanted every shadow of her soul and every piece of her beautiful, multilayered heart. I wanted to pour into her every drop of light I had to give until she consumed me whole. Until I was her, and she was mine.

We stayed there—me cuddled up against her chest, her with her arms wrapped around me—until my lingering panic faded and I worked up the courage to say what I said next.

"Lisa…"

"Yes, Sunshine?" she ran a gentle hand through my hair.

"Kiss me."

Her touch stilled, and she stiffened.

"Please." I licked my lips. "Forget about Suho or…whatever else may be on your mind. If you want me, kiss me. I know what we said on your birthday, and I'm sorry for going back on my word, but I need…" You. "I need this."

Lisa closed her eyes, her expression pained. "You have no idea what you're asking me."

"Yes, I do." I pressed a hand against her abdomen, feeling it tremble beneath my touch. "Unless you don't want to."

She left out a half-laugh, half-groan. "Does this feel like I don't want to?" she grasped my hand and pulled it down until it rested on the most masculine part of her. My breath stuttered at her sheer heat and size—obvious even under her swim trunks—and I curled my fingers around the thick rod, fascinated by the power I held in my palm.

A low growl rumbled out of Lisa's chest. "What did I say about staying out of trouble, Sunshine? Keep doing that, and you'll be in a world of trouble."

"Maybe I like trouble." I tightened my grip, and she hissed out a curse. "Maybe I want to stay there."

"I'm beginning to think you're the trouble I need to stay away from," she muttered. She pinned my wrist to my side, and a jolt of excitement flashed through me. "But we can't. You just—" she gestured toward the pool with her free hand.

"I just what? Had a panic attack? I get those all the time when I'm near water. If that bothers you, we're in a hotel. We can find a room." It seemed like I'd recovered all the boldness I'd lost after kissing Lisa on her birthday.

Her mouth tilted up. "When did you get so feisty?"

"When I got sick of everyone treating me like I'm a fragile flower who'll break if someone breathes on me the wrong way. Just because I have a phobia over one specific thing doesn't mean I'll freak out in other areas of my life." I paused, then added, "Mina told me. About what you—what you like in bed."

Her expression darkened. The air turned ominous, and my heart gave an anxious thud.

"What, exactly, did she tell you?" Her voice lowered to a dangerous decibel.

"She told me—" I gulped. "She told me you only do it from behind. That you don't like kissing or face-to-face contact during sex. That you…"

"That I what?" Lisa asked silkily.

"That you like choking and calling women names. In bed." The danger in the air thickened until I could almost taste it, and my bravado faltered. Maybe baiting the tiger wasn't the best idea…

"Yet you're still here, asking me to kiss you." Her grip on my wrist turned to iron. "Why is that, Sunshine?"

She hadn't denied it, which meant it must be true.

My heart raced.

"Maybe—" I wet my lips with my tongue, conscious of her eyes tracking the movement the way a lion would a gazelle. "I like those things too."

Flames burned away the ice pools in her eyes until the heat seared me to my core. I couldn't believe I'd ever thought her cold. In that moment, she was a supernova waiting to erupt and swallow me whole.

And I'd love every second.

Lisa released me and stood, no trace of the patient, soothing person from earlier tonight in sight. In its place was something hungry and depraved that caused me to tremble with lust.

"Get up," she said, her voice soft but so commanding I obeyed without thinking. "You're about to find out what happens when you invite yourself into the lion's den."