Jennie

The next hour passed in a blur. The police and paramedics arrived, peppering me with questions and medical checkups and lots of somber-looking faces. I endured them all, my answers flat and robotic.

By the time they finished, I wanted to crawl into my bed and never get out—if I could bring myself to move.

"Jennie?" Rosé placed a tentative hand on my arm. "The police said we can go. JayB will drive us back."

The massive bodyguard hovered so close he was practically on top of us, his usual stoic mask replaced with pure fury.

I didn't blame him. We'd gotten ourselves into this mess.

Rosé and I had wanted to see one of our favorite bands perform in D.C. last night. Cool indie bands didn't visit the city often, and when they did, we took advantage. Except…JayB had flat-out forbidden Rosé from going because it wasn't safe, and instead of arguing with him—which we all knew by now was useless—Rosé snuck out in the middle of the night. Everything had gone according to plan until the camouflage-wearing psycho yanked us off the street after the concert and into the back of his van. It'd happened so fast we didn't have time to scream. We'd fought back as hard as we could, and my amateur self-defense training allowed me to land a few hits, but he'd eventually knocked us out. When we woke up, we found ourselves in freakin' Philadelphia.

A shudder rippled down my spine. Our kidnapper must've been watching us for God knew how long before he made his move, which creeped me out more than the actual kidnapping part.

"Are you ready?" Despite her calm tone, I detected a small shake in Rosé's shoulders, and I suspected that was the reason JayB hadn't torn us a new one yet. In fact, he hadn't said a word to us except to explain he'd found us via the chip he'd placed in Rosé's phone, which he'd activated when he discovered she wasn't in her room that morning. It was a testament to how much we'd fucked up that Rosé didn't utter a peep about him secretly tracking her.

My eyes strayed toward Lisa, who looked remarkably composed for someone who'd shot her uncle, killed our kidnapper, and almost died herself.

She spoke with a police officer, her face not betraying a hint of agitation.

You were nothing more than a means to an end.

"Almost," I said. My voice sounded strange to my ears. Low and hollow, almost lifeless. "I need to talk to her."

Rosé and JayB exchanged glances, their mutual concern for me overshadowing their animosity.

"Jen, I'm not sure that's a good idea—"

I ignored her. I stood, stepped around Rosé, and walked toward Lisa, keeping the blanket the EMT gave me wrapped tight around my shoulders.

One foot in front of the other.

This entire day felt surreal. I kept thinking it was a new type of nightmare and that I would wake up at any moment, but I never did. Even when I told the police what happened, I felt like I was talking about a movie, not my life.

The story came out in pieces and half-truths. I told the officers Lisa's uncle hired someone to kidnap us as leverage because Lisa had ousted him as CEO, but I didn't mention their twisted family history. That wasn't my story to tell. I could honestly say I didn't know what happened after Rosé and I left—how Lisa's uncle had ended up with six bullets in him or how the kidnapper had, according to the queasy-looking officer, ended up more carved up than a jack-o'-lantern on steroids. I technically didn't know, but it didn't take a genius to figure out what happened.

I wasn't sure what Lisa told the police but considering they hadn't arrested her for killing two people yet, I assumed she'd spun a convincing tale of self-defense.

She was, after all, the consummate liar. Right? Or had she been lying about lying?

There was only one way to find out.

Lisa noticed me first. She said something to the officer, who nodded and left.

I stopped two feet from her, my hands strangling the blanket.

She looked like old Lisa again—unruffled and uncaring, with eyes like chips of jade-colored ice. I didn't see a hint of the Lisa I'd gotten to know over the past few months. The one who'd stayed and canceled a date to watch movies with me, the one who'd choked down one of the most disgusting cookies ever made and lied about it being "fine" because she didn't want to hurt my feelings, the one who'd taught me to swim and showed me a world I'd thought only existed in fantasies. A world in which I loved and had been loved in return. She hadn't said it, but I thought…I'd really thought she loved me and had just been too scared to say it.

Now, I questioned whether the Lisa I "knew" had ever existed. Perhaps it really had all been a ruse, a role played by a psychopath bent on vengeance and taking advantage of my unsuspecting heart.

Or…she'd been lying, and she'd said all those things in front of her uncle to save me because she didn't want her uncle to know she cared. Her tale seemed too elaborate to be fake, but Lisa was a genius. She could do anything.

I clung to the tattered remains of my hope with bloody fingers.

"I thought you would've left by now." She slid her hands into her pockets, the picture of cool nonchalance.

"I wanted to speak to you first."

"Why?"

Heat rose on my face. Leave before you embarrass yourself any further! my pride screamed, but that horrible flicker of hope insisted I stay until the end.

"I wanted to know."

She lifted a bored brow.

"You and me." I was almost afraid to ask, but I had to know. "Was any of it real?"

Lisa stilled, and I held my breath, hoping, praying…

"I tried to warn you, sweetheart," she said, her face impassive. "I told you not to romanticize me, to harden that soft heart. It was my one courtesy for the kindness you've shown me over the years. But you fell for me, anyway." Her jaw tightened. "Consider it a lesson for the future. Pretty words and pretty faces don't equal pretty souls."

My hope turned to ashes.

My soft heart? No. I didn't have a heart at all, not anymore. She'd torn it out of my chest, sliced it to ribbons with the blades of her words, and tossed the shreds aside without a second thought.

I should say something. Anything. But I couldn't think of a single thing.

I wished for an iota of my earlier anger and hurt, but none came. I was numb.

I might've stood there forever had gentle hands not guided me into JayB's waiting car. I thought I heard Rosé hiss something at Lisa, but I couldn't be sure. It didn't matter.

Nothing mattered.

Rosé didn't try to talk to me or feed me platitudes. That would've only made things worse. Instead, she let me sit in silence and stare out the window, watching dead tree after dead tree fly by. I couldn't remember why I liked winter. Everything looked dull and gray. Lifeless.

I made it all the way to the border of Maryland. There, it started raining, the tiny drops sprinkling over the window like scattershot crystals. I remembered the day Lisa picked me up when I was stranded in the rain, and I. Broke. Down.

All my pent-up emotion from the past few hours—the past few months— burst forth at the same time. I was an ant swept up in a tidal wave, and I didn't bother fighting. I let it wash over me—the hurt, the anger, the heartbreak and betrayal and sadness—until my eyes burned and my muscles ached from the force of sobs.

Somehow, I found myself curled up in Rosé's lap while she stroked my hair and murmured soothing sounds. It would've been terribly embarrassing, crying into a royal princess's lap, except I was beyond caring.

Why was it always me?

What about me made me so damn unlovable? So gullible ?

My favorite color.

Black.

My favorite ice cream flavor.

Mint chocolate chip.

You are the light to my dark, Sunshine. Without you, I'm lost.

Lies. All of it.

Every kiss, every word, every second that I had treasured…tainted.

My eyes burned with liquid fire. I couldn't breathe. Everything hurt, from the outside to the inside, as I sobbed terrible, wretched, soul-wracking tears.

Michael had lied to me. Lisa had lied to me. Not for days, weeks, or months, but for years.

Something inside me broke, and I was no longer only crying for my shattered heart but for the girl I used to be—the one who'd believed in light and love and the goodness of the world.

That girl was gone.