Made For Each Other
Chapter 12
Elizabeth was in her lace wedding dress, the sound of soft music playing in the background while her eyes were fixed on the face of her handsome groom. People were gathered around them but it was as if they were out of focus, faded into shades of grey. The only thing that stood out in bright living color were the two of them smiling and dancing. Her face radiated love and happiness as she heard the words of the vows they had just spoken to each other.
"...I marry you today without hesitation or doubt. I am committed to you absolutely. I love you with everything that I am, forever!"
"... You are my shoulder to cry on. My favorite to dream with and my greatest surprise. I would offer you my heart, but the truth is you have had it for quite some time now, so instead let me give you my soul. I love you Jack Thornton! From chalk dust through eternity, I am yours!"
"Mama, mama!" a small voice shouted excitedly as he ran into her room. "Wh-a-t..., what is...it?" Elizabeth answered, not fully awake. "Mama!" Little Jack said again, pulling at her arm. "Y-e-s, y-es, what is it, Jack?" Elizabeth said a little more coherently this time. "What is it that you want?"
"Mama, Auntie Rosemary is at the door and she wants to see you!" Jack said even louder thinking his mother must not be able to hear him.
Elizabeth sat up with a start. "Oh no! Oh no! Not again!" she exclaimed as she jumped out of bed and headed for the stairs. "What time is it?" she wailed.
Getting to the door in a panicked rush she flung it open. Rosemary looked at Elizabeth's disheveled appearance, with no robe or slippers, looking half asleep yet panicked and said, "Well good morning, Elizabeth."
"What time is it?" Elizabeth asked anxiously, running a hand over her face and yawning.
"It's a quarter past six" replied Rosemary and Elizabeth let out a sigh of relief that she hadn't overslept. Then looking at Rosemary she asked. "Then what are you doing here so early?"
"Well, I simply couldn't wait any longer!" Rosemary said in her typical dramatic Rosemary way. "So just as soon as I had finished feeding little Goldie I rushed right over. When it took the longest time to get any response to my knocking I was about to just let myself in, but finally Little Jack asked so sweetly who is it? and when I said Auntie Rosemary he obviously must have gone and woken you up!", moving her hands up and down indicating Elizabeth still in her nightgown.
At which point Elizabeth realized she was standing in her doorway without her robe on as two neighbors were passing by, so quickly indicated for Rosemary to come inside and closed the door. Then tuning around asked, "So did you ever actually say what it is that you came over here for?"
Rosemary, looking at Elizabeth as if she should know why, said "Well, because I simply had to know before it gets any later as to whether there is still going to be a wedding or not?!" She continued looking at Elizabeth searchingly, obviously eagerly waiting for an answer.
"Yes, yes," said Elizabeth trying to hide another yawn. "The wedding is on, Lucas came by after midnight last night and we talked things out."
Rosemary looked relieved that she wouldn't have to be the one to tell people that the wedding was off. But after taking another look at Elizabeth said, "well then, we certainly have our work cut out for us now don't we! I will see if Fiona can take you in early for a facial with that lovely cucumber treatment she does to help you with those dark circles around your eyes!"
Elizabeth gave her a look of thanks a lot but did agree that it couldn't hurt anything as she hadn't gotten to sleep until at least one in the morning.
Laura came to help watch Jack and little Goldie at Rosemary's house while the bridal party ladies went to Fiona's to have their hair done before coming back to Elizabeth's to finish getting ready for the wedding. Now that Elizabeth wouldn't be needing her on a regular basis she had agreed to start taking care of Goldie part time when Rosemary needed to be working at the newspaper office.
All the ladies, other than Fiona, Mei Sue and Faith who were helping at Nicols and Dimes, were busy finishing decorating the hotel dining room for the reception. With the wedding set to start at eleven o'clock the reception had been planned as a luncheon, in order to leave time for the Bride and Groom to get to Union City where they would stay at the hotel they had gone to for the Virginia Woolf reading, before heading out on the honeymoon that next day.
Once they felt satisfied with the table decorations, they headed across to the church to add the flowers and greenery to the arbor. They had ordered a delivery of roses and Emily had recruited Allie, Opel and some of their other school friends to go out first thing that morning to collect ferns, wildflowers and other greenery to add to the arbor as filler around the roses.
With the ladies hair done they went back to Elizabeth's to help each other with make-up and getting dressed.
Lee, Mick Hickam and Gustave all gathered at Lucas' apartments at the back of the Queen Of Hearts to help each other with ties and cufflinks, and in general to keep the groom company as he was so nervous his teacup kept nearly spilling from his hand he was shaking so much.
Mr. and Mrs. Bouchard came to check in on their boy and while Helen fussed over making sure his tie was straight and that his tuxedo tails hung properly, Martin let his son know that after making a few phone calls he had been able to take care of his steamship passage issues.
Mrs. Thatcher had her husband drive her over to Elizabeths before it was time to head to the church to see how she was doing, and to give her a pearl necklace to wear with her wedding dress. After last night's rehearsal dinner she couldn't help but worry, even though Julie informed her that Elizabeth said everything was fine and that she and Lucas had worked everything out. Grace felt reassured when she saw that the wall of pictures had been replaced with a landscape painting and that the one on the bedside table had been replaced with a picture of Little Jack.
When Mollie came to say that the guests had arrived and that the groom and groomsmen were now making their way to the church Rosemary had just stepped out to feed Goldie. So William Thatcher offered to take Abigail, Julie, Laura and Little Jack alone with his wife and Aunt Agatha over to the church first, before coming back to get Elizabeth and Rosemary.
Elizabeth in the beautiful wedding dress Rosemary had made for her, with her mother's pearl necklace around her neck and a beautiful bouquet of flowers in hand, took the opportunity to sit down on the settee and slipped her shoes off realizing this was the first moment since being woken by Jack that there hadn't been someone around her. Whether it had been Rosemary insisting that she eat something, Fiona and Mei Sue giving her a facial and fixing her heir, Julie insisting on doing her makeup for her, Abigail helping her button up the back of her wedding dress or her mother clasping the necklace on her, there was always someone.
Taking a deep breath and looking around her house, Elizabeth couldn't keep the memories from flooding through her mind. She could see herself and Abigail painting. Jack giving her the typewriter, decorating the Christmas tree together, rose petals scattered on the steps by him after they were married. Little Jack's bassinet, him taking his first steps, the day she gave him his daddy's Mountie hat. A feeling of sadness washed over her at the thought that in the near future this would no longer be her home, her safe haven, the place where in a sense Jack was still alive.
Feeling guilty for being sad on her wedding day Elizabeth tried to refocus her mind onto what the future held. The wedding, a honeymoon trip to Nova Scotia and possibly Prince Edward Island. Building a new house. But no matter how much she told herself to be excited about the future she couldn't shake the apathy she felt and, truth be told, that she had been feeling for quite some time now while planning the wedding which was probably why she had left so many of the details up to Rosemary and Lucas.
Now hearing footsteps and the sound of a car in the distance Elizabeth slipped her shoes back on and put a smile on her face as she told herself once again that Lucas was her future, before walking to the door where Rosemary stood, all smiles with Goldie in her arms saying. "It's time! Your father is just pulling up now.
Arriving at the church they could hear music playing. Rosemary quickly handed Goldie over to Laura and went to stand where Mollie already had Abigail, Julie, Sarah Wolf and Little Jack lined up ready to go when Minnie gave her the signal.
Taking her father's offered hand, Elizabeth couldn't help but remember how overjoyed she had been when her father had walked her down the aisle to marry Jack.
"Having some pre-wedding jitters?" William Thatcher asked quietly into her ear. Elizabeth, trying not to give him any sign of alarm, smiled and said she supposed a few.
Abigail, Julie, then Rosemary each proceeded down the aisle in their long Peacock Blue gowns, which Rosemary had said was all the vogue when Elizabeth hadn't known what color to choose. Jack carried the ring pillow while Sarah Wolf dropped the flower petals.
As Elizabeth walked down the aisle on her father's arm, she thought how dashing Lucas looked in his tuxedo with Lee, Gustave and Mike lined up next to him. Then as he smiled at her and took her hand from her father once again it was as if all thoughts past this moment seemed to fade from her mind.
Pastor Joseph began his sermon with, "Dearly beloved, we are gathered here in the sight of God, and in the presence of these witnesses to join together this man and this woman in holy matrimony; which is an honorable estate, instituted of God. It is therefore, not to be entered into unadvisedly, but reverently, discreetly, and in the fear of God."
"So it is," countered Joseph. "from the very beginning we see that God ordained that a man and a woman should make their way through life together. In Genesis 2: 18 we read. "The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him."
"Before Adam even knew what he was missing in verse 20 where we read "but for Adam no suitable helper was found." God already knew that he would make Eve. It just seems that God wanted Adam to realize he needed something first. Because we see that just as soon as Adam realizes he doesn't have someone suitable to stand by his side helping him through the days to come, God is designing and making Eve especially for him! And since we know that God knows the ending from the beginning, we can be sure that when God was making Adam, he had already thought of what Eve would need as well. Each one of them, especially made for each other, by God..."
Joseph continued his sermon but Elizabeth wasn't listening as once again it was as if an audible voice inside her head was saying "we are not made for each other, Lucas and I are not made for each other", so she kept her eyes down as if looking at the flowers she held in her hand. Afraid to look up at Lucas or Joseph lest they see in her the turmoil she felt inside where it was as if an argument was happening with herself as her mind raced through all the reasons why she simply couldn't be feeling this way, certainly not now, not here, not when she was about to say I do.
Lucas isn't a bad man. "Yet why wouldn't he have told me he might start working for his father? Why would he plan to send Little Jack across the country without asking me?
But we worked out our differences. Hadn't he apologized last night and hadn't they each made compromises with the shorter honeymoon and her agreeing to a new house. No relationship was perfect, there would always have to be give and take and compromise.
Yet with each reason why she should marry Lucas the "we are not made for each other" seemed only to be sounding all the louder.
"But I said yes", Elizabeth's mind still argued. "Lucas loves me and I love him", although she had to admit it wasn't in the same way she had loved Jack. But wasn't that just because Jack had been her first love, one couldn't expect to have that kind of love twice, could they?. Surely God didn't want her to be alone the rest of her life. To raise a son without a father?"
Though would Lucas be the best father figure for Little Jack? He was a gambler. "But he has changed!" Although he still does talk that way... and he did say he had to play his cards right to win me...
"No!" she told herself again. "This is not the time for questions and doubts. I am a Thatcher, we don't run from a challenge".
And what about the way she felt every time she was around him? It was as if one smile, one kiss or touch and she was ready to give him more. He woke up a part of her that she had lost when she lost Jack. He made her feel alive when so often she felt empty and hollow inside.
"Yet If God has not made us for each other." The inter voice persisted. "What will happen? Will the passion be enough, will it last?"
Words from her morning dream came to mind, "I marry you today without hesitation or doubt."
"I would offer you my heart, but the truth is you have had it for quite some time now, so instead let me give you my soul."
"What I have with Lucas will never be what I shared with Jack", Elizabeth's heart cried. The fact that a tear slipped down her cheek didn't alarm or alert anyone in the congregation of the mental storm going on inside her, as brides often shed happy tears on such occasions. But for Elizabeth the battle between fear of letting go and fear of holding on was intense.
Hadn't they come too far? Standing in front of the church, in a wedding dress, guests looking on, the food, the cake, the gifts? What would people say? The humiliation!
Pastor Joseph who had now finished his sermon said, "If anyone can show just cause why this couple should not be lawfully joined together, let them speak now or forever hold their peace", giving the expected pause.
Elizabeth's heart pounded, knowing the next thing would be for them to exchange vows followed by the declaring of "what God has joined together let no man tear asunder."
"Would God be joining them together if he hadn't made them for each other? Was she fighting not just her own fears but God Almighty Himself?"
With the voice in her head relentless and an unease beyond anything she had ever felt before, Elizabeth raised her eyes to Pastor Joseph and with barely a whisper said. "I do."