Fire

…Fire.

Azula's stomach sank, but she didn't dare show her disappointment. Not with Sokka flashing her a shit-eating grin. She wouldn't give him that satisfaction.

"I like this game!" he declared triumphantly.

She scoffed. "We'll see how much you like it when it inevitably lands on you."

"Who knows?" He folded his arms, leaning back smugly in his chair. "Maybe it never will."

"Will someone tell me what it is," Toph groused. "It's not Earth, is it?"

"It's Fire," Aang answered quietly, seemingly relieved.

"Indeed it is," Azula sighed, standing up. "Well, I suppose I shouldn't keep the little princess waiting."

As if on cue, Izumi's cries grew louder and more urgent.

Aang instinctively covered his ears, looking as if he were about to jump out of his skin.

Toph looked quizzically at him. "You good, Twinkle Toes?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm great!" Aang said unconvincingly, forcing a smile. "Let us know if you need any help, Azula," he called as she took her leave.

The pit returned to her stomach once she made it to the nursery. It wasn't that she didn't want to care for her niece, no, she was quite used to that at this point. She had hoped that perhaps she'd get to know Zuko's friends a little better, that maybe this nightshift would provide a bonding opportunity. Personality-wise, Aang and Toph seemed the most amenable to eventually accepting her, while Sokka, on the other hand… well, he'd be a tough one to crack. Their paths hadn't crossed many times before, but it seemed that every time they did, they were at odds. She wondered why that was.

Not that it really mattered. The silly game she had created had other plans for her, and it seemed by all the screaming that Azula wasn't the only one with a bit of a tummy ache. Azula could tell by Izumi's cry and facial expression that something nasty was about to work its way out of her system. Removing her diaper too early would prove to be a grave mistake, one that Azula had only made once before, one that she would never make again for the sake of her dignity and royal clothing. So instead, she set Izumi down on the changing table and gently rubbed her belly until the baby ultimately did her business.

"Now that's a full diaper," Azula muttered, trying her best not to succumb to the assault on her nose. "Well at least you seem to be feeling better now."

Izumi giggled and squirmed on the table.

"That makes one of us." She sighed as she continued cleaning Izumi and getting her into a fresh diaper. What was wrong with her? Why was she feeling so dejected? It was so pathetic, all these feelings of insecurity and loneliness. She tried to push the negative thoughts out of her head, but her mind kept circling back to the group she had left behind. Were they talking about her behind her back? What were they saying about her? Did they still think she was crazy? Evil? Were they happier now that she was gone? Were they uneasy with her being there and now finally able to enjoy their night without her? Should she even bother returning to them?

No. No, no, no. This was just her anxiety talking. Just her anxiety. The wicked, nagging voice inside her head that cropped up during heightened emotions. Logically, there was no reason for her to worry. Sokka, Toph, and Aang had all seemed to like the stupid little game she proposed. That was something, a step in the right direction. She took a deep breath, clearing her head to focus on the mission at hand.

"Okay, little one. You're all clean and dry now. Do you feel like sleeping?"

Izumi whined a little and reached for Azula.

"Alright, alright. I'll give you a little attention, but then I have to go, okay? Your aunt has to convince some people that she's not an evil, crazy megalomaniac like your grandfather. If only they could be as open-minded about me as you are. If only I had a blank slate…" She picked the baby up in her arms, bouncing her softly. "Which lullaby should we sing tonight, hm?"

Izumi cooed something unintelligible.

"I hear you. Three sleepy owl-kitties it is." She cleared her throat and began singing to her restless niece. "In a forest, oh so still, three sleepy owl-kitties on a moonlit hill. With feathers soft and eyes so bright, they're drifting off to dreamland on this peaceful night."

Before long, the baby started to settle, her tiny body feeling progressively heavier in Azula's arms.

"The stars above twinkle, the forest sighs, three sleepy owl-kitties, your dreams arise. To lands of wonder, where wishes take flight, where owl-kitties play and dance in the night."

But just as Izumi completely nodded off, the door was suddenly thrown open.

"Aha!" Sokka burst into the nursery, causing Izumi to immediately stir and fuss. "Oh," he winced, immediately lowering his voice, "was she sleeping?"

"She was," Azula spat, fighting back the urge to call him a name. "What the hell do you think you're doing?!"

"I was just…" He quietly closed the door behind him. "…checking up on you. See if you needed a hand or something." An awkward smile crept across his face.

She rolled her eyes. "Right. I'd totally believe you if you hadn't just said 'aha'." Sensing Izumi's agitation, she began bouncing the baby in her arms once again. "What were you really expecting to find in here, huh? Did you seriously think I would harm my own niece?!"

"Wh-What, no! No, that's not what I thought at all!"

"What was it then? Enlighten me, please."

"Uhhh… I don't know." Sokka scratched the back of his head, looking around uncomfortably. "Toph made some joke about how you were probably filling Izumi's head with subliminal messages about usurping the throne and giving the Fire Lord title over to you…"

Azula was stunned into silence. Her worst nightmare had come true. They were talking about her – it wasn't all in her head! Her paranoia was fully justified. After all this time, they still thought she was a monster. Her heart was pounding, she felt like screaming, and Izumi was clearly picking up on the storm within. The baby started to cry.

"…but it was just a joke! She didn't really think – "

"If it were just a joke, you wouldn't have felt the need to check up on me. Now get out."

He sighed. "Look, I was just trying to protect – "

"I said get out." She hated how vitriolic she sounded. And she especially hated that it was Sokka who had gotten her so worked up. For some reason, out of Zuko's friends, Sokka's opinion of her mattered most. Perhaps it was because he was the most logical of the group, at least, that's what she had determined during the war. But looking at him now, after his accusations, serious or not, after he disturbed Izumi from her slumber, all she wanted to do was set him on fire.

"I'll leave," he said with a hand on the door, "but I don't understand why you're getting so upset."

Izumi was full on wailing now, and Azula felt like doing the same. Of course, she never would. Not in front of him.

"Of course you don't understand! You…" She deliberately softened her voice to be more soothing to the baby in her arms. "…you wouldn't. You couldn't possibly. You have no idea…"

"I want to understand," he said delicately, turning around and resting his back on the door. "I have no idea about…?"

"You…" She closed her eyes for a moment. "You have no idea how long it took people to trust me to be alone with her. They only let me out of desperation." She shook her head. "It's… exhausting, always having to tiptoe, to walk on eggshells, to watch everything I do and say knowing that one small slipup could ruin everything I've built from the ground up. I know I'm responsible for my past, but I've done my time, I've put in the work, I've made amends, and I'm… I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm just so tired."

He opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. His bottom lip trembled. "I don't know what to say." He looked pained.

She didn't know what to say either. She surprised herself by unloading like that in front of him. In the past, she would have despised the way he looked at her, with pity in his eyes. Or maybe it was remorse, it was hard to tell. But now… she didn't quite mind it. Perhaps because he seemed to genuinely care about her feelings.

"You're right. I had no idea. I'm…" He cautiously stepped closer to her. "May I?"

"Hm?"

"May I hold her?" he asked, his voice weak. "It seems only fair, since I was the stupid one who woke her up."

She nodded, handing the fussy baby over. To her surprise, Izumi took almost instantly to Sokka. Usually she cried around people she didn't know very well, but she seemed to be more or less placated. "Huh. She likes you. Spirits know why…"

He laughed gently before adopting a more serious demeanor. "Hey, I'm…" He looked Azula in the eye. "I'm really sorry, Azula. I should have never barged in here. That was wrong of me. It was entirely uncalled for."

"You're right. It was uncalled for. But…" She exhaled slowly, averting her gaze. "…it's not like I've ever given you a reason to trust me."

"That's not exactly true! You did save my life once, you know, back when we were looking for your mother and those evil spirit vines – "

"Yes, I recall."

"And Zuko trusts you. Even Suki miraculously trusts you now, so you have to be doing something right," he chuckled.

Azula grimaced, knowing full well how she had earned Suki's trust. She had earned it the day she walked in on Suki and Ty Lee getting handsy in the palace spa. That was also the day she learned that massages weren't only for relaxation…

"Anyway the point is," he continued, "everyone is moving on with their lives, with new careers, new relationships, marriages, babies… and I've been stuck living in the past. Maybe it's time I move on too."

"And what would that look like exactly?"

"Hm." He paused. "You know, I'm not so sure. Sometimes I blink and suddenly I'm thrown back into the war, back to being a scared 15-year-old boy, fighting for my life, pretending to be brave…"

"You were brave. Honestly, you were my most formidable opponent."

"I'm…" He smiled softly. "…really glad you thought so. Really. That's an honor coming from someone as remarkable as yourself."

The comment made her blush. She hoped he wouldn't notice in the dimly lit room. Sokka really thought she was remarkable?

"Hey, I think she's asleep." He gently set Izumi down in her crib. "So… what do you say? Let bygones be bygones? I mean, we're not enemies anymore, are we? Maybe we can even be… friends?" He smiled warmly at her, extending his hand.

She smiled back as she reached for his hand, shaking it delicately. "I'd like that." His touch made her feel electric. She wondered if he felt the same.

"By the way, I couldn't help but overhear you singing lullabies to Izumi…" he sneered, his blue eyes sparkling with mischief in the dark. "You have a beautiful voice – I had no idea you could sing like that."

"Tell anyone and I'll have no choice but to kill you," she teased.

"Ah well, the friendship was good while it lasted."