Chapter Nineteen: Confessions
(Enjoy this very mushy chapter!)
She could feel the electricity course through her skin from just a simple touch of her lips against hers. Alessia felt the butterflies again. The fire ignited and now roared inside her stomach. Her skin showing goosebumps across her arms as a warm chill sensation ran up her spine. As if their lips were made for each other. Everything inside of her was lit on fire. Her center between her legs had throbbed from the overwhelming sensations. The sensation flying everywhere. Everything was burning in a good way. Alessia pulled back as her face was red from overheating in her cheeks. Her eyes opened slowly while looking into Liandrin's eyes. The woman in red, her face was red as well. Alessia covered her own mouth as her eyes went wide.
"I..I..I am so sorry!" Alessia stuttered her words as she leaned back. She was afraid of how the woman before her was going to react. She did not expect it. Liandrin grabbed her shoulders tightly and pulled her back. Their lips crashed again. The older woman's hands slid down her arms, gripping her hips tightly as she pulled her close. Alessia wrapped her arms around Liandrin's neck and held her close. Deepening the kiss. Their lips fighting for dominance as Alessia submitted to her. A soft moan escaped her lips as Liandrin dug her nails into her hips. Alessia let out a small wince that made her lips part. Liandrin took advantage of that and slid her tongue inside. Her soft, wet, gentle tongue. Alessia melted at the touch. She tasted so sweet. Sweet like the strawberries she had tasted for the first time. Their tongues danced with each other as Alessia tangled her fingers into the long honey blonde hair. She could kiss Liandrin forever. Her heart was purring at the feeling she was getting. How she loved it. Liandrin was the first to pull away.
"What was that my flower?" She asked in a whisper. Tracing Alessia's cheek as she blushed. She looked down to the side. Mumbling nonsense. "Hmm. What was that dear?" Liandrin asked while lifting her chin with a single finger.
"I've always wanted to do that." Alessia confessed. Seeing Liandrin smirk at her sent a whole new wave of sensation as she melted right there into Liandrin's arms again. Her emotions were at an all time high right now. It was hard to focus. Alessia leaned in and kissed Liandrin again. This time softer and shorter.
"Can we sleep? I'm exhausted." Alessia asked. She was frowning again. The archway kept coming back to her mind. Liandrin did not do anything but she nodded and pulled the covers back on the bed. Watching the woman underdress before her, she blushed and looked away. Liandrin was in her undergarments as she crawled under the covers. Alessia let her dress fall to the ground and joined. Sliding right into the woman in red's arms. They snuggled into each other perfectly. As if they were made for each other.
Hearing a soft hum, Alessia leaned up and yawned lightly. It was already morning. She had not slept much that night. She kept waking up from the memories of the arches. Liandrin was there to soothe her back to sleep. Liandrin. She was always there when she needed someone. The older woman was there when her bond was hurting her heart from the pain. Pain that Moiraine did not mean to cause. 'Moiraine.' Alessia frowned. She missed the woman in blue deeply. Moiraine was there when she was younger as well. There to protect her when she was alone. When they were traveling as well. It felt like a piece of her soul was missing. When she kissed Liandrin last night, part of her soul was filled. Was it possible that she is in love with both women? Pushing the thoughts back as she looked back at Liandrin. She said it was possible that the events in the arches were true. These two Aes Sedai were so very different from each other and they despised each other. Alessia frowned and hugged her knees. Watching the woman in red sleep peacefully before dawn. She had made a mental note to speak to Alanna on this matter. If she had the time of course. Alessia stood up and decided to get dressed and brush her hair. She sat on the chair and looked into the mirror. Trying to focus on braiding her hair which was nearly impossible as the kiss kept replaying in her mind. She could still feel the presence of Liandrin's lips against her own. She was smiling stupidly while touching her own lips to realize Liandrin was already up and dressed.
"Good morning my beautiful flower." Liandrin whispered into Alessia's ear which caused her to blush with a smile. Feeling the older woman hug her from behind. Alessia leaned back and enjoyed the moment she was having with her favorite Sedai.
"Good morning Liandrin. When can I have my necklace back?" Alessia asked with a smile as she turned to face the woman in red.
"Tomorrow." She replied. Alessia nodded her head lightly. Her left hand reached up to touch the necklace Liandrin was wearing. She still had that silver flower she had given her that many years ago.
"Sheriam Sedai will be wanting to speak with you." Liandrin spoke as she nodded her head again.
"I shall report to her when I am done with my hair." Alessia spoke. Liandrin smiled and cupped her cheek. Giving her a chaste kiss. Alessia closed her eyes and smiled. Leaning in to give another kiss. This one was more wanting. Yearning. She smiled into the kiss before pulling back. Feeling like her soul was being looked at as their eyes met. Feeling the older woman pull back and finish working Alessia's hair. She then went to her wardrobe and changed into a new Accepted dress. All seven colors on the wrists of the dress. It fitted her body better than the Novice dress did.
"Soon you'll be in red colors." Liandrin spoke while pulling her into another hug by her waist.
"Don't be so sure my Liandrin." Alessia gave the older woman a teasing smirk. She said it. 'Her Liandrin.' This made the older woman smile at this. She could have sworn she saw Liandrin's cheeks blush.
"Oh, but what other color would my flower be?" Liandrin asked. Returning the smirk.
"I could always be yellow. Or a brown one." Alessia replied.
"I am surprised you didn't say blue." Liandrin whispered. Alessia raised a brow.
"Well, I could be but I can't keep secrets from those I care about." Alessia chuckled. "Then again. Who knows. We shall see once the time comes. I still have to spend time with the other colors now." Alessia reminded Liandrin who grumbled at this. This was a new side she was seeing from this woman. Everyone had told her that Liandrin was a strict 'stick to the rules' kind of Aes Sedai and took no nonsense. Alessia however got to see the other side that was only shown to her and her only. She loved it. To her, Liandrin does have a beautiful heart and she got to see it. This woman was everything to her. As is Moiraine. Alessia smiled and pulled back from Liandrin's hold who protested softly at this.
"Best not keep Sheriam Sedai waiting." Alessia spoke as the woman in red nodded. Seeing her straighten up and clear her throat.
"Don't expect me to show you any special treatment." Liandrin warned her as Alessia nodded her head.
"I can't become the best I can be if you go easy on me." Alessia added. Feeling the older woman give her a deep quick kiss before leaving as Alessia followed her.
It was not long when Alessia found herself outside of the Mistress of Novices door and knocked.
"Come in." Sheriam's voice came as Alessia opened it. Her hands behind her back as she entered it.
"You know. It felt not long ago when I first saw you. You took the switch when you did not have to. You submitted yourself to the Tower when you were not bound to it. You have grown Alessia of Tarabon. I know that you will continue to grow." Sheriam spoke as Alessia tilted her head up a little at the praise. She smiled at the woman in blue.
"Now, you will be teaching the history of the Aes Sedai today. More focused on the three oaths. A weave class and once you are done, you will report to the yellow ajah. You will be starting with them. Then the brown, and blue. We will go from there once done. Each ajah will decide how long you will be with them as you learn about them. Remember, each color specializes in different things. I expect you to give them your full attention when they teach you." Sheriam spoke.
"Of course Sheriam Sedai. I look forward to learning everything that I can." Alessia spoke as she bowed to the woman.
"Class will start after lunch. Your studies will be done on your own from here on out. You are allowed to channel on your own. You will supervise Novices as well when they channel. Your chores can be done by channeling if you wish. Now, off you go!" Sheriam spoke as Alessia bowed again before taking her leave. She was humming softly while heading down to eat lunch. She had slept in and for that she was allowed to since her test was last night.
"Alessia!" Egwene's voice came. Alessia turned and smiled at her friends. Egwene stopped and looked at her.
"You're an Accepted now? Since when?!" Her friend gasped while grabbing her right hand to inspect the ring.
"Since last night. It happened so suddenly." Alessia spoke as Nynaeve was smiling at her.
"Which class are you teaching?" Nynaeve asked.
"History of the Aes Sedai and weaving." Alessia replied. Hearing another gasp.
"That means you can help me channel and what not! Since not many want to help." Egwene frowned. Alessia gently squeezed her friend's shoulder.
"I will do what I can to help." She spoke. With that, she had gotten a hug from Egwene. Then from Nynaeve.
"Come, let's get some lunch." Alessia spoke as her stomach then growled. Hearing her friends laugh while linking their arms on both sides of her as they made their way to the dining area. Not knowing the blue eyes were on her from across the gardens.
Liandrin's POV
Liandrin had finally changed from her previous clothes and into new ones. She was wearing a long sleeve red tunic and red pants. She felt comfortable today.
"What's got you all smiling?" The voice of Tarna spoke as Liandrin turned to face her.
"Alessia is now an Accepted!" Liandrin smiled at this. Tarna raised a brow.
"Yes, but why are you smiling like that?" She asked.
"What do you mean?" Liandrin asked.
"I've never seen that smile before." Tarna spoke while crossing her arms. She noticed Liandrin was watching someone. She looked over her shoulder and saw Alessia leaving with Egwene and Nynaeve. "Did something happen? You finally tell her?" Tarna was now pestering Liandrin.
"Don't you have a mission or something to do?" Liandrin snapped at her before rolling her eyes.
"That's true. Fine. I'll ask Alessia later. We are close friends now after all." Tarna smirked.
"Fine. Alessia kissed me last night. Right after I brought her to her new room." Liandrin confessed.
"About time! How do you feel?" Tarna asked while smiling now. Watching Liandrin closely.
"I feel." The older woman started and smiled while looking to the side. She could feel Tarna's eyes on her. Waiting for an answer. "It was amazing." Liandrin spoke. It wasn't fully true. She felt like she was flying when it happened. As if her heart was singing from it. She felt beyond happy now that she was now closer to her flower. She would not lie to herself, she wanted this. Ever since that younger woman fell asleep in her arms for the first time.
"You know, you have to tell her sooner now than later right?" Tarna asked while looking at her again.
"I know. I just. I just got her and she is so close and deep in my heart. I don't want to lose her. I thought I lost her when Moiraine had her claws in her." Liandrin sighed. She did not want to tell Alessia anything about her other side of her. The one side she now deeply regretted. She had never thought she would fall for someone so sweet and innocent.
"She deserves someone better. I'm not good for her." Liandrin then frowned and leaned against the wall.
"Don't ever say that, Liandrin Sedai. Everyone deserves happiness. Even you. Don't even doubt it for one second because Alessia chose you." Tarna spoke. She grabbed Liandrin's arm and squeezed it gently.
"She chose Moiraine Sedai." Liandrin spoke softly. She felt her eyes stung a little.
"Don't you think that maybe it is possible to love more than one person?" Tarna asked. Liandrin looked up at the woman. "Maybe that there is more love in her heart than you give her credit for? I hate to say it, but she's good for you. She's good for me too. I've seen the light shine in her. Liandrin, I know Alessia loves you." Tarna spoke softly this time. She could see the older ajah struggling in her mind.
"We have a mission to do. We can't let anything get in the way." Liandrin then said.
"Pull her to your side then." Tarna spoke. "Don't push Alessia away because of a mission. You'll regret it for the rest of your life. Instead, have her with you." Tarna spoke.
"You're right." Liandrin spoke. She took a deep breath and nodded. Her hands behind her back as she watched the Novices leave the dining area. Lunch was now over. Not that she cared. Seeing Alessia laughing and chattering with her friends made her heart soar at the sound. Everything about the younger woman was beautiful.
"You are right Tarna Sedai. I am not letting this one go. I do not like the idea of Moiraine being part of her heart and life but I want her happy. She makes me happy." Liandrin spoke.
"I want to train her in stunning today. Maybe teach her how to shield others as well." Tarna spoke. Liandrin nodded before taking her leave. She needed to go into the city today and get something done. She had something planned out to celebrate with Alessia soon. But first, she was told to oversee the class Alessia would be teaching.
End of POV
"Come on! I got my first class to teach! I am excited!" Alessia spoke. She saw Liandrin walking away from her friend Tarna and smiled. She already missed those lips. Seeing Tarna wave at her as she waved back. She was smiling while taking the lead to the empty classroom. Egwene and Nynaeve were both laughing at her as they took the front seats. Alessia was smiling as the remaining Novices came in.
"Congrats Alessia!" They spoke as they took their seats. Alessia smiled and gave them a bow. Seeing a hand raised, she nodded at the girl.
"Can you tell us what it was like?" She asked. Alessia frowned a little.
"It's not something I wish to discuss." Alessia spoke softly as the girl nodded.
"Now! Today, we will be studying the three oaths. Who can tell me what they are?" Alessia asked. One hand shot up. She nodded.
"Tell no lies." The other girl spoke.
"The exact words please. Words have meaning." Alessia spoke. Remembering that Moiraine had told her this.
"To speak no word that is not true." The girl spoke as Alessia nodded and wrote it down on the blackboard. Hearing some footsteps, she saw Tarna, Liandrin, Alanna, and Sheriam come into the room in the back to watch. Alessia gave them a bow before going back.
"What does this oat mean to you?" Alessia asked.
"That we can't be trusted all because a man said so." Nynaeve spoke as Alessia raised a brow. Her friend was not wrong.
"When you put it that way. The oath was made so that an Aes Sedai could be trusted to do her word when she said she would.
"Second oath?" She asked as Egwene spoke this time.
"To make no weapon with which one person may kill another."
"Correct." Alessia smiled at her.
"That means we could still make weapons ourselves and use it for training or what not." A girl spoke up. Alessia felt eyes go wide as she looked at the girl.
"You shall report to Sheriam Sedai after class." Alessia spoke as the girl gulped and nodded. There were indeed loopholes in the three oaths. She was however not going to talk about them.
"And the third oath?" Alessia asked. They were silent. "I know it's a long one but it is important." Alessia spoke. "No one? Egwene you know it. Moiraine Sedai told us about it." Alessia was looking at Egwene who nodded.
"I don't remember the exact words." Egwene spoke.
"Everyone grab your paper and write down the oaths." Alessia instructed as they did. She turned and began to write the oath down. When half way, she recited it.
"Never to use the One Power as a weapon, except in the last extreme defense of her own life, or the life of her Warder, or another Aes Sedai." She spoke.
"Are warders bound to the oaths as well?" The first girl asked.
"No. They are not. Though, I would highly advise against any violence done by any warders in the future that goes against these oaths." Alessia spoke as they nodded. A bell had rung.
"Until next time. Please remember these oaths." Alessia called as they ran out the door. She only smiled while erasing the board.
"Not bad for your first lesson Alessia." Sheriam spoke as Alessia bowed to the woman as she left.
"Oh! Alanna Sedai." Alessia spoke as the woman in green walked over to her.
"What is it dear?" She asked. Seeing Liandrin was watching them.
"I was wondering if I could talk to you about something?" Alessia asked.
"Of course." Alanna leaned against the desk waiting.
"In a more private setting? It's kind of personal." Alessia added.
"Of course. Come find me in my room after dinner." Alanna spoke with a smile. She touched Alessia's arm before leaving. Alessia bowed to her. She was left alone with Liandrin. She smiled at the woman in red before snaking her arms around her waist. They were alone.
"Everything alright?" Liandrin asked as Alessia nodded her head. "Something I can know about?" The older woman asked.
"Yes. Perhaps later?" Alessia asked. Liandrin only gave her a look before nodding. "I promise I will tell you later, Liandrin Sedai." Alessia spoke softly. Looking into those blue eyes.
"I trust you, my flower." Liandrin then smiled and gave Alessia a quick soft peck on her lips. "You have a weaving class now, correct?" The woman in red asked as she nodded.
Alessia found herself walking towards the gardens and smiled at the Novices. They all jumped up and ran over to her.
"So you're teaching us?!" The girl asked as Alessia nodded.
"Finally someone who can teach us!" Another spoke. Nynaeve shook her head as Egwene was smiling at her.
"Well, who wants to learn a new weave?" Alessia asked as they all nodded their heads. "Great! This one is to use light. You weave fire and air. It creates a little ball of light that you can hold in the palm of your hand." Alessia spoke. It was a simple weave she learned from the book Adeleas Sedai had given her from the library. Alessia channeled the One Power as she weaved slowly. Weaving the fire and air together as she held her hand out. Palm facing up as a small ball of light appeared. Hearing gasps and excitement.
"Now, channel fire with your left hand. Feel the heat and draw threads from it. Air with your right. Should be easier since air is everywhere." Alessia instructed. She walked around and corrected some arm movements on one girl. Wrist movements on the second girl. Egwene had gotten it on the first try.
"Can you show us again?" The second girl asked. Alessia nodded. She channeled and weaved again. Moving slowly as they watched. Alessia's eyes caught Liandrin's not far from her. The woman in red was smiling at her with pride again. Alessia couldn't help but smile as a small blush reached her cheeks. Nynaeve hadn't tried to channel at all. Alessia was a bit upset about this but she understood her friend's feelings about channeling. It took several tries from the Novices but they finally got it at the end.
"Can you help us with the one Alanna Sedai taught us with the water we had to drink?" The first girl asked.
"Lead the way." Alessia spoke as they all smiled and dashed towards the kitchen. Nynaeve however was silent and walked with Alessia to the kitchen. Eyes followed her as she turned and gave Liandrin a bow before exiting into the kitchen. Knowing full well her heart was pounding since she wanted to pin Liandrin against the wall and kiss her hard. She blushed at the thought before focusing again. Seeing the cups already set with one filled with dirty water.
"Remember, grab the earth with your right hand from the Tower's stone. Water with your left from the moisture in the air or from your cup of water." Alessia spoke. She then felt the pull of the earth in her weave. She managed to do it perfectly the first time this time. Smiling as she was proud of herself now. She weaved slowly to show them. Pouring the dirty water through her weave as it came out clear. She raised her glass to them before drinking her water.
"To imagine perfecting a weave the first try." One of the girls spoke as Alessia was correcting the movements on some of them. Egwene got it the first try as well again.
"Egwene, you are getting better and better. I'm so proud of you!" Alessia smiled at her friend. Egwene looked proud of herself and Alessia couldn't be happier for her.
"Once you perfect the weave, you may leave." Alessia spoke. Nynaeve sighed as Alessia waved her off. Nynaeve took her leave.
"Why does she get to leave and not use the weave?" The second girl asked.
"She's blocked. I can't help her with it. She has to do it herself." Alessia explained as they nodded. Egwene had taken her leave. There was one girl left now and she was frustrated.
"What's your name?" Alessia asked as the girl huffed.
"Nissa." Nissa spoke as Alessia nodded and touched her shoulder.
"It's alright if you don't get it the first time." She encouraged the girl who nodded. Watching her take a deep breath as she channeled. Alessia corrected her arms around and stepped back.
"Now reach for the water threads. Take it slow if you need to. There is no rush." Alessia instructed as Nissa nodded. She closed her eyes and grabbed the water threads. Weaving them together as she poured the water. It came out clear. Hearing a squeal as she hugged Alessia. Alessia was tense and gently patted the girl's back.
"This was the first time this happened! You are an amazing teacher Alessia!" Nissa shouted and drank her water before skipping out of the kitchens. Alessia chuckled and cleaned up the mess the class did. She was humming as she left the kitchens.
She made it to the dining hall to grab her dinner. She was hungry. She grabbed her plate and sat down. Her eyes caught the red ajah's and smiled at her. Liandrin made a motion for Alessia to follow. She was about to when Alessia was interrupted by the Novices she taught earlier.
"Eat with us!" Nissa whispered. Alessia pressed a finger to her lips to shush the girl. She sat back down with a frown as her favorite Sedai left. They were whispering in very hushed voices as Alessia kept reminding them to stay silent. She failed at this because they were too excited after two successful weaves performed today. They quickly ate as Alessia excused herself from them. She had a feeling they would be following her everywhere now since none of the other Accepted would watch them on their own time to perform weaves. She made her way to the green floor to Alanna's room. She knocked on the door and held her breath.
"Come in." Alanna's voice was gentle and soft. Alessia went inside and closed the door behind her. She walked over and sat down on a pillow. Alanna was eating cut up apples. This woman was still always eating something. Truth be told, Alessia had come to admire this Sedai now.
"What can I do?" Alanna asked. "Wait, before you ask. I received a letter."
"Oh?" Alessia asked with a raised brow.
"Moiraine wrote to me. She said you have not answered her letter. She's worried about you." Alanna spoke as Alessia looked down with a frown. The woman lifted her chin to look into her brown eyes.
"I know about the bond you two had. She mentioned it to me in the letter. Are you angry with her?" Alanna asked as she shook her head. "Did she hurt you or anything?" Again, Alessia shook her head.
"Then, may I ask why you have not responded yet?" Alanna asked as Alessia sighed.
"I don't know how." Alessia frowned. Her eyes are still looking into the brown eyes.
"Then let me ask you this. How do you truly feel about Moiraine Sedai? Be honest with yourself." Alanna spoke. Alessia was silent for a minute.
"I love her." Alessia spoke softly.
"Then tell her." Alanna spoke.
"It's complicated." Alessia frowned again.
"Love is not complicated. You have to be honest and tell those you love them." Alanna spoke softly. Hearing a snore as her warders were both asleep in the bed.
"How is it not?" Alessia asked with a frown.
"May I ask what you wanted to see me about?"
"How do you know if you love more than two people? Is it possible?" Alessia asked. She felt her eyes starting to sting. Alanna wrapped an arm around her shoulder and squeezed it.
"Love is natural There should be more of it in the world. It's the most powerful thing." Alanna spoke. Alessia frowned yet again. "Loving more than one person isn't hard. Love is different with different people. We love our friends in a way. We love our lovers in another way. Our sisters in a different way. The Warders in another way. Love is infinite only if one is truly open with their feelings in their heart." Alanna spoke. Alessia felt like the green ajah was trying. "Especially if you are in love with more than one person. It is hard to open yourself up to another. The key is communication. Make sure they know. Moiraine is a lover herself. Not a fighter. Much like you. She will understand if you love another as you love her." Alanna spoke. Alessia nodded her head lightly. She had a feeling Moiraine would be more accepting than Liandrin would be.
"Now my dear. Tell me. How did you and Moiraine meet?" Alanna asked as Alessia blushed.
"More like I crashed into her." Alessia spoke as Alanna chuckled. "I was a child! I had no idea what was even going on! She was the first Aes Sedai I had ever met!" Alessia spoke about the memory. She even showed Alanna the scar she had on her arm that Moiraine had healed.
"You said the first. Was there another in your life?" Alanna asked. Alessia nodded.
"Liandrin Sedai." Alessia replied.
"The other one that holds your heart?" Alanna asked. Alessia looked at the woman in green quickly. "I figured it was. That woman is always around you and always checking up on your progress. She calls you her flower. I don't know the extent of your relationship with her, but Liandrin isn't what she used to be and we have you to thank for that." Alanna smiled as she finished her apple. Alessia gave Alanna a raised brow at this. "Let's just say that woman always had a stick up her arse for so long until she started mentioning; 'her flower.' It was like seeing a world open up for the first time to her. I won't lie, she is still her usual self but not as bad if that makes sense?" Alanna asked as Alessia nodded her head.
"Anyways. Write to Moiraine. She's worried. I told her you went through the arches. I did not however tell her you passed. I want you to tell her." Alanna spoke as Alessia nodded her head. She saw Alanna grab a piece of paper and a bottle of ink and quill. "Write it here and I'll send it." Alanna spoke as Alessia grabbed her quill and paper. She began to write.
My dearest Moiraine,
I do apologize for not writing to you back for a while. I hope you can forgive me for that. There are things I wish to tell you that I do not want to say in this letter. I want you to know that I have passed my test. I am now an Accepted of the Tower. Things here have been a bit wild. The Novices love it when I teach them. 'A great teacher!' They told me. Maybe teaching is my calling? I am not sure. Though, I still have my doubts. I remind myself everyday that I have the best mentors looking out for me. Guiding me to the right path. Yes, you included. I do wish you were here. I know you have things you have to do and yes I did hear about what happened. Maybe once I have time, I can journey to you and have a lesson or two with you. Or maybe show you the things I have learned here? What I am trying to say is that, I miss you Moiraine. Very much. My heart aches for you at times. Especially at night when my mind drifts off the most. I'm not angry at you. I know you have your secrets for reasons. You are a blue ajah after all. I hope you are not angry with me. I too miss our bond sometimes. Please stay well. Light be with you.
My love, Lessy.
P.S. Alanna is breathing down my throat as I write this.
Hearing Alanna chuckle as Alessia handed the woman in green the letter. Watching Alanna fold it and tie twine around it.
"She'll receive it tomorrow morning. I'm sending letters out tonight." Alanna spoke as Alessia nodded her head. She gave the woman in green a hug before taking her leave. She made it back to her room. Liandrin was asleep in her bed. She blushed at this and smiled at the woman before she went to her wardrobe to change. She would be off tomorrow and then joining the yellow ajah to learn what it is they do. Hoping Chesmal would be there among them. She had taken a liking to that yellow ajah. She crawled into bed and smiled. Leaning over to give Liandrin a few kisses across her jawline. Seeing the older woman smile and shift. Alessia then laid on top of her. Hearing a groan of protest as Alessia smothered her face with kisses.
"I'm up." Liandrin spoke softly. Seeing those blue eyes open made Alessia's heart flutter. "What did you talk to Alanna Sedai about?" Liandrin asked as Alessia frowned and sat back in her spot on her bed. She felt the woman in red pull her close into her lap.
"Liandrin. I don't want you to hate me or anything." Alessia sighed while avoiding eye contact. She felt her chin lifted as she looked into those blue eyes she fell for.
"Whatever it is, my flower. I could never hate you." Liandrin smiled. Alessia nodded. "Now, tell me." Alessia took a deep breath and nodded.
"I asked her what it's like." Alessia started.
"What is what, like?" Liandrin asked. She wasn't going to give up.
"Being in love with two people." Alessia spoke softly. She could feel Liandrin shift a little. Resting her arms around Alessia's waist.
"You're in love with two people?" Liandrin asked as Alessia nodded. "Who?" The woman asked.
"You and Moiraine." Alessia confessed. She felt tension in the air. She frowned again.
"You're in love with me?" Liandrin asked. Her voice was soft this time. Alessia nodded her head lightly. "I am not angry or upset. Yes, I am hurt by this because it's Moiraine. She and I have a very complicated history." Liandrin spoke. Alessia knew this. She felt her heart hurt like it was being squeezed again. "I am not sure if that relationship that she and I have will ever get repaired after what happened. My question is to you, do you plan on bonding with her again?" Liandrin asked as Alessia shrugged her shoulders.
"I do not know. I can't stand secrets." Alessia spoke softly. Then she felt a kiss upon her cheek.
"I love you Alessia. I always have. Would you be against bonding with me?" Liandrin asked. Alessia felt her heart race at this. She had never thought the woman she knew for so long and fell for would ask her of this.
"I don't deserve you, Liandrin." Alessia frowned. Feeling the woman hug her tightly.
"It is the other way around my love. I am not judging you for this. I have done things that I am not proud of. There is a side of me that you do not know about. Things that will make you hate me." Liandrin spoke softly. Alessia frowned and cupped Liandrin's cheeks and kissed her softly.
"I could never hate you." Alessia spoke with a small smile.
"You will. I know it." Liandrin spoke. Alessia shook her head at this.
"How can I hate someone that I have loved for so long and still love?" Alessia asked softly. Caressing Liandrin's cheek. "Would you be angry if I told you that I would want to bond with Moiraine again someday?" Alessia asked. She could feel Liandrin's lip quiver a little. This broke Alessia's heart and pulled the woman into a tight hug.
"What about me?" Liandrin asked. Alessia pulled back and kissed Liandrin deeply.
"Only if you trust me with your secrets and trust that I could never hate you." Alessia replied in the same soft tone.
"Promise to never leave me? Except when on missions?" Liandrin asked.
"I promise." Alessia spoke. Making this promise in her heart. To make sure she would keep it. She frowned at the loss of contact when Liandrin moved from her and out of her bed. She held out a hand for her. Alessia took it and stood up. Feeling Liandrin's forehead against her own. The woman in red had her hands upon Alessia's hips and held her close. Alessia was cupping both of Liandrin's cheeks as her head was resting upon her forehead. Then she felt it. That familiar warm sensation she had felt not long ago. Even though it felt like years ago. Liandrin was channeling. The silver streams of the Source flowed around them both. Alessia felt her heart swelling. It was not from her. It was from Liandrin. She could feel the woman in red's feelings for her. It was overwhelming as Alessia nearly cried. Covering her mouth while hugging Liandrin.
"I love you Liandrin." Alessia spoke. Finally confessing her heart's true feelings for the red ajah as they were bonded now.