Sasuke turned his arm over in the bath. Scars that he didn't recognize were going to bother him. What lesson was he missing now? What else did he take the time to learn that was now a waste of time?

Would he ever get all that back? It was clear his Rinnegan was feeding him memories, but why? Why was it choosing these memories? What was stopping his memories in the first place?

And why was the Rinnegan trying to stop him from leaving?

A faint knock came to the door, pulling him out of his thoughts again. "I didn't drown. I'm getting out." Sasuke called.

A small noise he couldn't make out replied.

Sasuke sighed, pulling himself out, realizing the pole he grabbed to get out was in an odd spot. Was that just for him? He wrapped himself in a towel and wiped off the mirror.

He gripped the sink as the pain hit him.

Arms wrapped comfortably around him as Sasuke brushed his teeth. Hinata laid her head down on his back and stayed there while he finished and rinsed out his mouth. He moved to grab the towel to dry his mouth, and she was tugged with him.

Cute.

Sasuke rested his hands over her arm and turned his head over his shoulder. He needed to talk to Naruto about tapering off, so he could have more mornings like this.

Sasuke looked back at himself in the mirror. His eye shifted until it stabilized.

He was clearly in love in these memories. If this is what the Rinnegan was trying to show him, where did it start?

Sasuke accepted a cup of tea from her as she sat down.

"I think your tea is better, but this will have to do." Hinata hummed into her sip.

Did he make tea now? Another question that he didn't know if he should ask now or wait for it to come to him. "After the first dinner, what happened?"

Hinata brought her legs up. "Another dinner and another. Every time we came home when we worked together, and then it turned into every time either of us came back from mission separately." She tilted her head to the side. "I thought you were just avoiding Naruto-sama at first and were just using me as an excuse. Which I would have been fine with." He could see himself doing that. "I would say at this point that I wouldn't have said we were friends, but maybe you saw it that way."

Sasuke's eyebrows knit together in frustration. He wasn't getting anything. "Can we go to that restaurant?"

"Now?" Hinata wondered. "The doctors told you not to push the memories."

Sasuke looked into his own empty cup. He was frustrated. He wanted to make connections. He wanted to understand the love he felt in these old flashes he was getting because, right now, it was foreign. Something that he didn't think belonged to him. Almost like it wasn't real.

"Alright." Hinata suddenly got up and collected the tray, holding it out so he could put the cup on it. "Let me wash up, and we can head out."

"When did that place shut down?" Sasuke wondered as they walked.

Hinata turned her head to the business they passed. "The owner died last year. His daughter died in the last war." Sasuke did remember the nin, not the owner, though. "It's sad when parents outlive their children."

Sasuke couldn't relate to that.

"This was the first place we came to." Hinata stopped in front of another shop.

Sasuke stared at the sign, then went inside to look around and took a deep breath, hoping the sight or the smell would bring something to him, but he huffed and headed back out when nothing came. "Damn it."

Hinata pierced her lips together, seeing his frustration, ducking her head down to hide her disappointment. "The restaurant wasn't that important." Wind dusted past her, blowing her hair in her face. She tucked the strays back out of her face as she looked back up at him.

Sasuke squeezed his eyes shut.

Hinata tucked back the stray hair against the dry wind that whipped sand around as she crouched down, holding a water bottle out to him.

Sasuke snagged it from her as he continued to hyperventilate.

Hinata's eyes told him she was sympathetic, and part of him wanted it, but he wanted her to stop looking. Leave him alone while his body betrayed him.

She reached past him and picked up a rock. "Here. Just focus on one thing."

That was stupid, but his heart was beating out of his chest, and he would try anything to make it stop. Sasuke latched his hand over hers and held on to it. Her hand was a course as the rock from years of abuse. How thousands of times did she hit a post?

When his breathing evened out, Hinata slid her hand out of his and left the rock behind in his. He closed his hand around it but knew it wasn't what he was focusing on.

Was he having these panic attacks before he lost his memories? "When were we in Suna?"

"Suna?" Hinata asked. "Uhm, that may have been before you asked me to dinner. You and I didn't go through Suna often."

Sasuke wanted more of the memory. He took her hand and closed his around it. It made his head hurt more, but no additional memories came. Instead, he got a gentle warmth in his chest he wasn't expecting, but it wasn't his feelings.

He dropped her hand to get it to stop. These pleasant feelings didn't feel right.

Hinata curled her hand up in place, wearing the devastation on her face for a moment before she forced it away. He was hurting her.

Maybe he would want to kick his own ass once he remembered the man who enjoyed that warm feeling when holding her hand.

Hinata took him back home. The silence made him feel like shit. He wanted to kick his own ass now.

"When did these meals turn into something else?" Sasuke wondered just to break the silence as she took her shoes off.

"Uhm…" Hinata turned back to him. "We had this awful meal. I think the cook was new, or we just had bad luck. You were beyond upset, and I said something like… I didn't like eating out all that much anyway. I assumed that was the end of it, but you said you would cook for me next time."

Could he cook? Sasuke went to the kitchen and opened a few cupboards until he found a pan. He held it out, nothing.

Damn it.

He slammed it down, and the pain hit.

"But you can't cook." Hinata teased from the couch.

"I can do something basic while you heal," Sasuke called back from the kitchen as he put a pan on the stove a little too hard, making Hinata wince and then giggle. He wasn't helping his case, but at least it made her laugh.

"Why didn't you say I was a bad cook?" Sasuke wondered, feeling dizzy.

Hinata leaned on the counter. "Does that matter? You made me dinner."

Hinata leaned over the counter laughing, covering her mouth from the bite she was struggling to chew. "It's fine. I think I can fix it." She took the plates to move around the counter to the spice rack as Sasuke lowered his head to the counter. Why did he even try?

Hinata listened to him relay the memories as they came. "You never do know how much salt to put in something."

Hinata gasped as she realized why he froze with the salt shaker in the air. The top was off, and in the pot with more than far more salt than even she could fix. Her shock turned into laughter.

Sasuke put down the salt shaker that betrayed him. "You think this is funny?"

Hinata continued to giggle at him and squeaked as he came after her. She managed to keep away from him for a few rounds before he caught around and trapped her in by the sink. "I'm sorry!" She squealed as he circled her to keep her from running again.

Sasuke chuckled and lowered his head to kiss her.

Sasuke threw up in the sink. He squeezed his eyes shut, doubling over. He pushed it too far.

Hinata came around the counter to rub a hand over his back. "Go lay down. I'll bring you some water." Sasuke didn't move. He just glanced at her, taking slow breaths to manage the nausea. "Come on." She pushed gently.

Sasuke trailed up the stairs, and she followed him with water. He sat on the edge of the bed and rubbed his face. She made him drink half the water before she set it on the bedside table.

"I'll wake you up for dinner, okay?" Hinata brushed his hair away from his face. Maybe she should get him a cool towel. His face was too warm.

Hinata stiffed as Sasuke circled his arm around her waist and pressed his face into her stomach. She bit down on her lip to conceal the sickening feeling that hit her. The mixed signals were too much for her heart to take. Was he just going to keep giving her the faded ghost of her husband and then rip it back away after every memory?

Hinata pulled away, and she could see immediately that he didn't understand. How could he? She was just continuing to lie to him. She didn't want him to think she didn't want to comfort him. She just couldn't have him holding her yet.

Hinata took his hand and held on to it with all her strength, hoping that he wouldn't take this too personally. "I'm going to get a wet towel for your forehead, okay?" She forced a smile she knew wasn't convincing as she pulled her hand away to get herself safely on the other side of the door before she broke.

She clenched her hand over her stomach and tried not to whimper out loud. This was ripping her heart out.

** Lavender Long Stories **

Hey, with how many issues has been having I would like everyone to know I cross post to AO3 under Lavender_Long_Stories and I have an active tumblr lavender-long-stories