Sasuke's body felt like lead on the couch. Hinata dried her tears but still filled the silence with the occasional sniffle. She stared at her hands, trapped in her own head like he was in his. "Skip to my confession."

Hinata zoned back in. "Uhm," She cleared her throat. "Well, there is a little setup to it that I think is important."

Hinata dried her hair as she came out of the bathroom of Sasuke's apartment. She was too covered in sweat and grime to just sit down and eat this time. She smiled at the cheese, crackers, and fruit he laid out. It looked put together, but she knew it was just a set of food that he couldn't screw up cooking.

Sasuke's shifted eyes, hoping she wouldn't say anything about it. She wouldn't tease him this time. She sat down, popping a piece of fruit in her mouth. "Don't you have anyone else over?"

"Who else would I have over?" Sasuke reached for a cracker.

Hinata shrugged. "I don't know why you have me over."

Sasuke looked at her with something that she couldn't read. It was guarded. He had a reason he just didn't want to tell. At this point, she would be fine if he just told her she was just a habit he formed. A friend you lost touch with once you stopped being the routine. She would miss this when it happened. Kiba and Shino had their own lives now, their own mission. She missed the days of just sitting and talking for hours after training.

Maybe Sasuke kept her around because she didn't lecture him about his panic attacks like Sakura did. She knew it was a point of shame for him, but with all he had been through, she could understand that some of it would come back to haunt him. "Maybe we should have dinner with Naruto-sama next time. He was jealous when I said I was heading here."

Sasuke's eyes knit together. "What happened between you two."

Hinata didn't think he cared about that. He hadn't asked in all this time. "He… didn't feel the same." Her own reaction surprised her. It was a relief. She didn't understand why at first, but now she realized she had built up so much on her idea of Naruto that he represented so much pressure to her. If he did accept her, it was just going to get worse.

"And you didn't find another boy to follow around?" Sasuke wording sounded like he was making fun of her, but his tone sounded like he was genuinely curious.

"I just… stop looking." Hinata shrugged.

Sasuke leaned on the table. "What do you mean?"

"Well. I think years of working so hard toward love and feeling constantly disappointed made me a little jaded. I spent so much time and effort on gifts I gave and realized that I never got one from anyone. I don't think there was ever a man who liked me that much. I spent so much of myself on love, and I've never seen it the other way, so maybe I just don't know what love is, or maybe I'm just unlovable." Hinata felt a familiar, uncomfortable tightness in her chest. Unlovable. Undesirable. Unwanted. She shook her head and shoved another piece of fruit in her mouth to shut herself up. "I'm sorry. Ignore me."

Sasuke went quiet for a moment before asking. "What would you want?"

What would she want? Anything. "Something to tell me that they thought of me when I wasn't there. It could be the smallest thing that is worth nothing, but it means something to them." Hinata waved her hands. "But ignore me. I think it proved that I am not meant to be in a relationship." Or loved. "I didn't know what I was doing." All the useless nothings she still had locked away from her years of loving Naruto haunted her. Maybe she should dig it out and dump it when she got home.

Sasuke picked at the cheese thoughtfully. She worried about what he was thinking.

Hinata held a finger up for him to wait before she ran up the stairs and came back down. "I had forgotten I told you, but you gave me this after you came back from a mission." She opened her hand to show him a small shell.

Sasuke leaned in to look closer and winced.

Sasuke closed his hand around the shell. This was probably the end. He looked over the hillside, watching the endless trees at the bottom mock him, waving in the wind. What would he do now? Maybe he could ask for a longer-term mission. A few months away, maybe he wouldn't crave seeing her the moment he saw the gate.

Maybe he could let this ill-fated childish crush he developed go.

Shade came over him from a sheet of black hair. "This is a first. I half expect a picnic."

"Would you want to eat it?" Sasuke watched Hinata sit down in her civilian clothes. He probably should have changed. He had been home for hours. The sun was setting, putting a glow over the hillside. It was making this feel dramatic. He should have just called for her in the middle of the day and got this over with.

Hinata's hand came up past his face to move his hair. "Did you hit your forehead?"

Sasuke cringed. No, he pushed his head into a tree too hard while he was overthinking. He brushed it off. "It's fine."

Hinata sighed. "You're reckless."

This was reckless. Sasuke cleared his throat. "Here." He held his hand out.

Hinata opened her hand curiously, accepting what he dropped in her palm, thumbing over the small shell. "Where did you get this?"

"Suna. They say it used to be underwater thousands of years ago. So sometimes you can find shells in the sand. I just… bought this one." Sasuke fumbled. Maybe he shouldn't have mentioned that part.

Hinata hummed as she tilted it. "What made you want to buy it?"

"The story. How Suna was probably once a vibrant home for sea life, and now it's a barren wasteland that's barely habitable for anyone." Sasuke felt stupid making the analogy. "It's like me."

Hinata looked at him in the way that made him fall in love in the first place. Those sad eyes read his pain for what it was and didn't ask anything from him. It was refreshing, and he was giving it up to give her this moment. "You're not inhabitable. You just have a storm or two you have to weather." She giggled at her continuation of his analogy. She knew it made him feel awkward. She thought it was cute, didn't she? Not cute enough, though.

Sasuke chest hollowed. "Now you have a gift from a boy who likes you."

Recognition came into her eyes as she realized why he was giving it to her. "I think this will do for now." A warm smile spread across her face, clearly missing the point. "It even had meaning."

"Its true meaning is me letting go of my first crush," Sasuke said more directly.

Hinata tilted her head. "Who was that?"

Sasuke blinked at her. Was she stupid? "You."

Hinata stared at him. "When were kids? You liked me?"

"Now!" Sasuke snapped.

Hinata covered her mouth. "What?"

Sasuke put his head down on his knees, covering his head with his arm to hide his embarrassment. This could not have gone worse. Well, she could still find a worse way to reject him than he was imagining.

It was silent for so long that he expected her to be gone, but when he peaked, and found her sitting there still, with tears streaming down her face. "Hey. Don't cry."

"I… I didn't even…" Hinata whimpered, holding the shell in her fist to her chest. "I would have never thought…"

"But… " Sasuke pushed. He knew what he was. He was someone who could have been the best and tripped on his way to the top. Hinata wasn't interested in looks, and as much as he hated comparing himself to Naruto, he wasn't anything she saw in him.

"I have been trying so hard not to… I didn't even consider… I feel so bad. I thought you kept inviting me just because you were used to it. I assumed at some point I would just irritate you, and… and…" Hinata flushed and breathed out heavy breaths.

"Don't faint." Sasuke shot his arm out.

Hinata latched on to his hand and furiously whipped her face with the back of her hand holding the shell. Something else seemed to click for her. "I… accept."

"What?" Sasuke blanked.

"I don't return your feelings right now, but I am sure I can try," Hinata waved her free hand. "That sounds terrible, but I just have been trying hard not to feel anything toward anyone."

Sasuke brought their clasped hands to his chest and sighed in relief. "I wasn't expecting that answer."

Hinata reached forward. "I think you are sweating."

"Don't make fun of me." Sasuke pulled his face away.

"It's really cute." Hinata hiccuped. "And really sweet. No one's ever…"

"Don't start crying again." Sasuke pulled closer.

Sasuke came back to a warm hand pressed over his Rinnegan. Hinata hovered over him with her Byakugan activated. He brought his hand up to hers.

"Sasuke-san?" Hinata pulled her hand away and deactivated her eyes. "You're pulling a lot of chakra. I was trying to slow it down." Sasuke stared up at her. Maybe it was because the memory was still lingering, but he wanted to pull her down to him. She brushed his hair back into place. "You should go rest. Your chakra isn't settling."

Sasuke closed his hand around her wrist.

Hinata focused on his face. She could read what he was thinking because her face bloomed as she waited for him to decide what he was going to do. After a long moment where neither of them got closer, she was the one to move back. "Come on, you should go lie down."

Sasuke breathed out. That didn't feel like it was just from the lingering memory.

"What did you see?" Hinata asked as she helped him up.

Once Sasuke stood up, he could feel the chakra drain. "My confession."

"Oh." Hinata blushed.

"You looked…" Sasuke didn't know what to call it.

"Confused?" Not the word he was looking for, but it would do. A peak of a smile came with the memory. "It was the first time my heart fluttered in years."

"That mess?" Sasuke cringed.

"Yes. Because it was sincere." Hinata helped him up the stairs. "It was the first time in a very long time that made me feel wanted. For most of my life, no one wanted me around. My family wished I didn't exist, Naruto-sama didn't realize I existed, and my team moved on with their lives. After Neji-san passed away… I didn't think I would ever feel truly wanted again." She turned her head away at the top of the stairs as she lost her composure. "And you woke up and didn't recognize me, and I thought…"

Sasuke felt that in his stomach drop. What would it have done to her if he told her he didn't want to come home?

"I'm sorry. I think all this crying is just pregnancy hormones." Hinata tried to laugh. "I can say that now that you know." Her twisting face betrayed her attempt at humor.

Sasuke pulled her to his chest and buried his face in her hair. He wasn't the only one scared.

"I'm fine." Hinata squeaked, completely not fine, as she gripped the back of his shirt and buried her face in his shoulder.

Sasuke felt his Rinnegan settle as he closed his eyes.

**Lavender Long Stories**

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