Drop Dead, Gorgeous.
Disclaimer : Drop Dead, Gorgeous, is a piece of fanfiction modeled from Charlaine's Harris's Southern Vampire Mystery Series with a few liberties taken from TrueBlood, a show based off the same books. All recognizable places and characters belong to C.H. As a reminder, I earn no money from this fanfiction.
Author's Note: Reviews and Criticism are appreciated. Ideas early enough may affect outcome.
Early chapters have a lot of lifting from the book but that will change as things progress.
[1]
The night had been going pretty well when it happened. Merlotte's Bar and Grill finally got it's first vampire. He wasn't my first vampire, but it was still pretty darn exciting. And he'd sat in my section! He seemed lost in thought as I bustled over with my pad and pen, so I had a chance to give him a good once-over before he looked up. He was a little under six-feet, I estimated. He had thick brown hair, combed straight back and brushing his collar, and his long sideburns seemed curiously old-fashioned. He was pale of course, and (to me) had a light glow. His nose swooped down and when he looked up, his eyes were even darker than his hair.
"What can I get you?" I asked, kindly. I didn't want to scare him off, now that one of them had finally made it here. I chided myself, it was a ridiculous thought. Scare him off indeed.
His brows raised with question, "Do you have any synthetic blood?"
"No, I'm sorry. Sam's got some on order. Should be in next week." Sam Merlotte, my boss, put in an order every couple of months, but since vampires had come out two years ago we hadn't sold any synthetic. At least not to its intended customers. A regular or two would get drunk and get curious and then they'd spend a half hour or so saying hello again to their previous meal.
"Then red win, please," he said, and his voice was cool and clear, like a stream over cool stones. I laughed. It was too funny to think no one else ever realized what they were.
"Don't mind Sloan, mister, she's crazy," came a familiar voice from the booth against the wall. My eye twitched, but I refused to give Mack Rattray more time than he was worth. The Rattrays were our newest and worst regulars. Since they'd moved into their trailer at Four Tracks Corner, they'd set out to make me miserable. If I wanted, I could do the same. I knew things about the Rattrays that would put them even further than the low opinion they already held by most everyone in town. For one, they'd both been in jail for drugs, and two, Denise had abandoned a baby she had two years before, a baby that wasn't Mack's.
But those things weren't my concern, and I wasn't in the business of making people's lives worse than they were.
"I'll get your wine right away." I said and strode off.
Sam poured a glass of the house red wine, looking over at the vampire's table as he put it on my tray. When Sam looked back at me, I could tell he knew our customer was undead. Sam's eyes are Paul Newman blue and his hair is a wiry sort of hot red gold. He is always a little sunburned, and though he looks slight in his clothes, I have seen him unload trucks, and he has plenty upper body strength. Sam's thoughts are hard to hear, which is nice since it makes not listening to him a whole heck of a lot easier.
"Your wine," I said, placing it carefully on the table in front of him. He looked at me again and I met his eyes. During my visits at Fangtasia, I'd found eye contact to be a big thing with vampires. Personally after a few seconds it could be disconcerting, but I was getting use to it. "Enjoy." I said.
"Hey, Slo! We need another pitcher of beer here!" I sighed, and turned to take their empty pitcher from the Rat's table. Denise was in fine form tonight, I noticed, wearing a halter top and short shorts, her mess of brown hair floofing around her head in fashionable tangles. Denise wasn't truly pretty, inside or out, but she was so flashy and confident it took a while to figure out.
By the time I had their replacement pitcher, I was dismayed to see the Rattrays had moved to the vampire's table. They were talking at him. He wasn't responding a lot, but he wasn't leaving either. "What are the Rattrays doing now?" Arlene asked, noticing my disgust. Arlene is redheaded and freckled and ten years older than me, and she's been married four times. She has two kids that I watch occasionally and have been dubbed their aunt.
"Just cozying up to my other table." The Rats never tip, and I suspected they were going to see if they could get away without paying by making an excuse if they got up from the table. They'd nearly made it out the bar once pulling the same thing, thankfully I'd heard their plan ahead of time. Anyone else would have been out of luck.
"The New guy?" she said with small interest. Arlene is currently dating Rene Lenier, and though I can't see the attraction, she seems pretty satisfied. I think Rene was her second husband, but she says they're much better as reacquainted exes than when they were married.
"Yeah." I shrugged, "Well, guess it just proves vampires aren't any smarter than us."
Arlene looked back at the table, peering at him a little closer, "A vampire? Here?" Her brows rose in surprise, "Well you're right honey, he can't be too bright if he's with the Rats. On the other hand, Denise is giving him quite a show."
She was right. Denise was tossing her head, exposing her neck at every chance. Running her hand along her throat or clavicle. It was obvious she knew the vampire was hungry. I knew that the synthetic blood the Japanese had developed kept vampires up to par as far as nutrition, but it didn't really satisfy their hunger. It's why from time to time there were "unfortunate incidents" (the vampire euphemism for the bloody slaying of a human). Well, if the Rattrays were one of those incidents, maybe it wouldn't be so bad. I shook myself, that was no way to think, no matter who the Rats were or what they did.
My brother, Jason, came into the bar then, and sauntered over to give me a hug. He knows that women like a man who is good to his family and also kind to the disabled, so hugging me is a double whammy of a recommendation. At least to people who've experienced my 'outbursts' which is about the whole town. Not that Jason needs many more points than he has just by being himself. Jason is handsome. He's a hound too, but most women seem quite willing to overlook that.
"Hey sis, how's Gran?"
"She's ok. Better if you came by though." Jason had moved out to our parent's place when he was eighteen and while he still visits, he seemed to forget about us until he needed something. Not that he needed money or anything like that, this more along the lines of food, or a tool, or to share in gossip. We were also a great excuse for some of the women who started getting ideas about him and he'd have to play off needing to 'help out' at our house.
"I will. So, who's loose tonight?" Ah, the charmer.
"Look for yourself." I noticed that when Jason began to glance around there was a flutter of female hands to hair, blouses, and lips. Even Arlene tucked in her T-shirt when Jason came in.
"Hey. I see DeeAnne. She free?" DeeAnne was in Arlene's section and had long brown hair pulled back in a ponytail. She was cute as a button and rarely wore makeup unless she was feeling bad. I was probably the only one to have made that connection, since I heard it from the source.
"She's with a trucker from Hammond. He's in the bathroom. Watch it."
Jason grinned at me, and I marveled that other women could not see the selfishness of that smile. The other waitress I worked with, Dawn, tossed her hair and straightened her back to make sure her boobs stood out. Jason gave her an amiable wave. She pretended to sneer. She's on the outs with Jason, but she still wants him to notice her.
There aren't many family friendly options in a town like Bon Temps, so Saturday night we're busy. All the tables held separate conversations, so the inside of the bar was a hum of voices and shouting of orders from the kitchen. I was circling my section, and when Arlene needed a break to accept a call from her kids, hers as well. So it was a while before I checked in on my 'silent' customer and the Rats. I wish I'd paid them more attention.
The empty space the vampire's mind occupied was on the move and Denise was hanging over him, toying with her necklace as she led him out the door. While I don't have a problem with anyone' s idea of a good time, the look in Mack's eyes was so avid I became worried. I stopped listening out for the wants of my other tables and focused on him and blanched. I knew the Rats had been to jail for drugs, but I hadn't realized one of them had been V. They weren't just users – they were drainers.
Alarmed, I set the pitcher of beer and some glasses at the raucous table of four with a tight smile and ignored the hand that swatted my backside. See this was the thing about hearing people's inner thoughts. People's minds aren't often in congruence with their actions. Plenty of people fantasize about their friend's sister, or think about their ex when they're on a new date – but that doesn't mean each of those people end up ruining their friendship for it, or give their ex a call. I'd realized this early in school. The number of angry teen thoughts I had worried over night after night for not a single one to take action over was ridiculous. So unless someone was about to do something that would cause another person harm, I had made a rule not to step in. Mack and Denise Rattray? They were firmly in the action needed category.
Both had been thinking about the other vampires they'd trapped and drained before since vampire blood was lucrative. See vampire blood was supposed to temporarily relieve symptoms of illness and increase sexual potency; kind of like prednisone and Viagra rolled into one, so there was a huge black market for it. And where there was a market, there were suppliers, and that's where drainers came in. The Rat Couple was thinking they couldn't have more luck than to have the vampire practically fall in their lap as they were tapped out and each little vial of blood could go for as high as $200.
I slid down the bar to Jason, where he was sweeping DeeAnne off her feet. She didn't take much sweeping, popular opinion had it. The trucker from Hammond was glowering from her other side.
"Jason," I said urgently. He turned to give me a warning glare, "Listen, is that chain still in the back of the pickup?"
"Never leave home without it," he said lazily, scanning my face for signs of trouble, "You going to fight, Sloan?"
"I sure hope not," I replied.
"Hey, you need help?" After all, he was my brother. Fighting was a far second to women, but Jason could brawl when he had the need.
"No, thanks," I said, trying to sound reassuring. This was taking up too much time, the Rats were on the edge of my range and I didn't want to lose them. Since I couldn't hear the vampire, it was extra important I not lose the Rattrays. I slid over to Arlene, "Listen, I got to leave a little early. My tables are pretty thin now, can you cover for me?" I didn't think I'd ever asked Arlene such a thing, though I'd covered for her many times. She too, offered help, though I could tell she was relieved when I didn't accept. "That's ok, I'll be back if I can."
Only one last person to tell and I could get out of here. I found I already had Sam's attention, likely from my hurried movements, and I signaled to myself, made a walking gesture, and pointed to the employee door. He did not look happy but didn't motion not to.
The employee parking lot is at the rear of the bar, through a door leading into the storeroom. Lafayette's car was parked back there, along with Arlene's, Dawn's and mine. To my right, the east, Sam's pickup was sitting in front of his trailer. Sam kept the entire lot well lit, from the gravel area we parked in, to the asphalt of the customer parking that circled the front. It helped a lot considering Merlotte's was otherwise surrounded by woods.
I moved carefully, trying to keep my footsteps light. The black Nikes, required as part of our work outfit, did their part to muffle my steps too. I spotted the Rat couple's dented red sport car so I knew they shouldn't be far. Finally I reached Jason's truck. It was black with custom aqua and pink swirls on the side. When he'd asked me what I thought he should paint it, I hadn't realized he'd liked the idea so much because of how much attention he'd get. Still, it'd been nice to be included in the process.
I pulled myself up by the tailgate and rummaged around in the bed for his chain, a thick length of links I quickly looped close to my body so it wouldn't clink. Then I had to think about where on the property would be a safe place they could have lured the vampire. It would need to be secluded enough for what Denise had been suggesting doing… there was a spot where the trees overhung a few of the cars, and beyond that, shadow. Not romantic by any means, but to each their own I guess.
I paused every few seconds and listened. Soon I heard a groan and the faint sounds of voices. I snaked between the cars and peered over a hood to see if they were where I had thought. It took my eyes a moment to adjust, but I could make out their outlines. The vampire was down on his back and light reflected off the chains crisscrossed over his wrists and down his ankles. Silver. About one of the only ways to incapacitate a vampire. Denise was passing little vials to Mack every few seconds and their brains were an excited frenzy. I tightened my grip on the chain and started to move closer.
Their backs were to me, and the vampire hadn't seen me yet, though now I could see his face. He was in agony. I loosened the coiled chain so a good three feet of it swung free and sized them up. Both were small and vicious, but I might only get a shot at Mack with the element of surprise. He was not a big guy, but one-on-one I'd still have a better chance with just Denise. I leapt out from behind a pickup and swung.
Denise only glanced over and set to putting another vacutainer to the needle as Mack was sent sprawling. Apparently this wasn't the first time they'd been caught in the act and she figured getting as much as she could was better than trying to defend her husband. Well, least I wouldn't have to worry about her interfering I guess. Mack jumped up and screamed at me, his hand dipped down into his boot and came up shining. I gulped at the knife in his hand.
"You crazy bitch!" He shouted. He sounded like he was looking forward to using that knife. Needing all the advantage I could get, I was listening to him in that way only I can and I could confirm, he sure as heck was imagining what he was going to do to me. I swung the chain in preparation, the imagined fight spurring me on. Because I knew what Mack planned to do, I was able to meet him as he moved. When he jumped forward with the knife, I swung, the end smacking into his hand. He refused to drop the knife and ended up slicing his hand. His anger racked up another point and mine did too.
He called me a name I don't think I'd ever heard spoken aloud before and then ran at me. When I swung this time, the chain wrapped around his neck like a lover. Mack's yell turned to a gurgle and this time he finally dropped the knife to claw at the links with both hands. Losing air, he dropped to his knees on the rough pavement and yanked Jason's chain from my hand with the weight of his body.
I swooped down and retrieved Mack's knife, holding it like I knew how to use it. Denise had finally decided I was worth taking stock of, and stopped midway from launching after the knife I already had. I glared at her as she cursed and railed, and said terrible things until she was as blue in the face as Mack seemed to be. I was high on adrenaline, but my voice was steady. "Get on. Get. Now."
Denise tried to burn holes in my head with her stare. When she finally moved, she reached for the vials and I stepped forward hissing at her to leave them. She grabbed Mack, who was still struggling with the chain, and dragged him towards their car. I could hear the passenger door and then a moment later her own. It wasn't until I heard the car engine roar to life and felt her determination that I realized she'd just traded up for a bigger weapon. I scrambled to the vampire's head and told him to push with his feet. Securing my arms under his arm pits, I yanked him into the shelter of the trees. The car barely missed us, Denise shouting obscenities.
"Oh, wow." I breathed, and knelt by the vampire as my legs quaked for a minute. I breathed heavily, trying to get a hold of myself. The vampire moved a little and I looked over. To my shame, wisps of smoke were coming from his wrists where the silver was now touching his flesh.
The vampire cradled his arm to his chest while I worked on the silver around his legs. His ankles had fared better since the drainers hadn't troubled to pull up his jeans. I apologized while I worked, "I'm sorry I didn't get here faster. You'll feel better in a minute right? Do you want me to leave?"
"No." That made me feel pretty good. My experience was limited, but there wasn't a vampire in Fangtasia that would show weakness. Then he added, "They might come back, and I can't fight yet." Ah, practical.
There was something else that could be done about his vulnerability, so I took precautions. Sitting with my back to him, giving him some privacy, I draped the chain over myself. Several cars left, and others came in, but none came down to our end by the woods. When I knew the vampire had sat up, I turned my head to look at him. He was closer than I thought and his dark eyes looked into mine.
"Thank you," he said stiffly. So he wasn't thrilled about needing rescuing by a woman. Typical.
I shrugged, and wrapped my arms around my legs watching him. "Please don't let the Rattrays be your only impression of people here. Bon Temps is pretty nice, most of the time."
"Your bravery shows me that. Thank you." His voice was lower than before and he was leaning in. DeeAnne would have shimmied right out of her red nylon panties if she was in my place.
"Now you cut that out." I said tartly. I did not come out to help him for any of that, "I just didn't want to see you hurt simply for being vampire."
He looked astonished for a whole second before his face returned to it's white smoothness. "Aren't you afraid to be alone with a hungry vampire?" he asked, something arch and yet dangerous running beneath the words.
"Nope." While I was sure he was plenty dangerous, I didn't have the same uneasiness I'd had around Long Shadow.
"Are you assuming that since you came to my rescue that you're safe, that I harbor an ounce of sentimental feeling after all these years? Vampires often turn on those who trust them. We don't have human values you know."
"A lot of humans turn on those who trust them," I pointed out. I played with the chain I'd wrapped from one wrist to the other, draped around my neck. His eyes followed the length of it and I raised an eyebrow.
"And what of the juicy artery in your groin? How do you plan to protect that?"
I narrowed my gaze at him, "Did they not have manners when you were born?" There was a difference in friends talking to each other, teasing, and a stranger making comments like that.
Once again we looked at each other in silence. Finally, he spoke, "Would you like to drink the blood they collected? It would be a way for me to show my gratitude." He gestured to the vials that I had forced Denise to leave behind, "My blood is supposed to improve your sex life and your health."
"I'm healthy as a horse." I told him honestly, "You do with it what you want." I didn't feel it appropriate to talk about my sex life with a complete stranger.
"You could sell it," he suggested, but I thought he was testing me to see what I'd say about that.
I stood and brushed my behind off, "I wouldn't touch it," I said, insulted.
"You're different, " he said. "What are you?" This was the second time I had been asked this by a vampire. I replied the same,
"I'm Sloan Stackhouse, and I'm a waitress." I offered my hand, letting the silver drop away, "What's your name?"
"Bill." He stood without taking my hand, the movement complete in a flash. He watched me for a reaction but again, he wasn't the first vampire I'd met.
"Well, Bill, I'm gonna get back to work." I turned and headed back to the employee door around the back.
I took a minute outside the door to check my white T and tucked it back into the waist of the black shorts and pulled up my socks. I almost felt normal. Now that the Rats were gone, I only had Jason to worry about. He was going to be mighty upset about that chain.