Chapter 2: Luck Be A Drunkard Tonight

I watched Dennis, Ryan, and the rest of the office leave before I could. Even Nikki headed home after I basically pushed her out the door so she could get to her family thing on time.

Things were beyond close. I barely made it onto my delayed red-eye flight, but that doesn't matter now. I had made it.

Vacation baby!

When I got to my hotel room and put my stuff away, I was feeling the sort of buzz you're treated to when you haven't eaten or slept in hours. I should be dead to the world. Instead, I was ready to go!

Unfortunately, my sorority group text chat showed that no one else was. For once, I wasn't the one cancelling last-minute. That reversal of fates had resulted in a series of laughing emojis from my supposed friends and a new plan to get together tomorrow night.

As for tonight, I was on my own.

My plan?

It was going to be hotel bar drinks and happy hour food for me because I knew how to turn life's lemons into some damn good lemonade, especially if vodka, light beer, or rum was available. I refused to let this…hiccup be a huge deal. It wasn't a huge deal.

I was certain of it right up until I got to the hotel bar and saw it was:

- CLOSED -

"Oh, come on!" I growled, glaring at the unwelcomed sign.

"It's closed?" a female voice cried out from behind me.

I nearly jumped, but managed a passably composed turn towards the disturbance. I found myself in the company of four fellow pissed off potential patrons. Each one of them seemed to be around college age, tall, and dressed for clubbing unlike me who was still wearing a suit.

God, I feel old.

And short.

Two for the price of one there. Woo…

I tried not to hold it against them as I said, "Yeah, it closed an hour ago according to this schedule."

The dark-haired amazon in a bright purple tube top, painted-on skinny jeans, and killer heels endeared herself to me by reading my mind and declaring, "Fuck us. I'm hangry!"

"Yeah, and it's so late now. What are we going to do?" an African American girl in large hoops and a silver sequined dress asked.

"We could DoorDash some food," a blonde girl with a red dress and redder lips suggested.

DoorDash on vacation?

Yeah…no.

Time to peruse less sad options.

While I was tapping away on my phone, tube top supported my sentiment saying, "You want to order in on Va-Ca-Tion!? Chelsea, you've got to be kidding me."

Chelsea wasn't kidding. The argument continued while I scrolled through my options. For some reason, nothing near the hotel was above 3 stars and I had standards.

I think you can see where this is going.

Less than 5 minutes later, tube top, betrayed and abandoned by her friends like another unfortunate soul I could mention, turned to me in her hour of need, demanding, "What about you, suit lady?"

I glanced up from my phone and confirmed that she was truly talking to me, a complete stranger.

"You're gonna go out right?" tube top pressed.

"Maybe," I hedged, still confused to be included. "I'm trying to find a good spot."

"Oh, don't worry. I know a spot," tube top claimed. "It's like a few blocks away. The tapas are like so good and the pina coladas are to die for!"

Now, I know. I really should have said 'no thanks' here. That's what tube top's friends had presumably said and what any rational person would do. But remember I was hungry, tired, and thanks to the cocktail bar in my room, probably a bit tipsy. So yeah, you all can sit smugly back home knowing you're smarter than a lawyer because I took tube top up on her dubious offer for food and piña coladas.

And thus began the misadventure that would change my life.

Tube top or rather Olivia was right about one thing: The piña coladas were worth the 4.2 stars this place had. However, she totally failed to mention that a couple of blocks was more like a couple of miles. We were now seaside. I probably could have heard the waves if the music wasn't so loud. Even with me outside, it was vibrating through my whole body.

Olivia was inside doing what confident college girls in skimpy clothes do at loud clubs. I checked in on her 10 minutes ago, but she had been talking up two muscley guys who spoke with sexy accents and I could tell I wasn't wanted.

So here I was, sipping yet another piña colada, staring out at the black ocean, and trying hard not to think about what the hell I was doing. I had nearly failed when my eyes noticed movement. I turned towards it.

This wasn't the only place with a coastal view. There were restaurants, bars, and clubs all along the beach. Most had closed up shop due to the near-morning hour, but two balconies away, there were lights and a single large table with an umbrella. Over there was a guy, and not one of the sexy natives. Even in the dim light, I could see he was on the small side, wearing glasses, and looking right at me.

"What?" I said, because drunk.

The bespectacled guy waved his hand in a dismissive gesture. I couldn't quite see him in the darkness. Still, there was something about the way he moved, his outline, the glasses, and how he'd been staring at me. Normally, I would need more evidence before jumping to any conclusions but again:

Drunk.

So, I called out, "Bruce?"

The man dismissed me again, waving even more frantically.

"Bruce, is that you?" I walked over to the balcony railing to try and get a better look.

No such luck.

The man had gotten up. He was leaving just like that. It was undergrad all over again.

Fuck.

I slipped back into the club, past Olivia's threesome on the dancefloor, and out into the street.

You're probably thinking:

What are the chances I'd randomly run into my cousin here in Mexico?

Small.

Very small.

Like Baby Ant-Man small.

But also, too big for me not to furtively look both ways before scurrying over to the bar at the end of the street.

Sometimes you just gotta trust your boozy gut.

I peeked into the quiet bar. It was empty except for the bartender and…

Bingo!

BRUCE!

"Look, you're new," he was saying to the bartender, "but I promise you I have a tab. If you just…"

"And I promise you," the bartender said in a bored voice, "we don't do tabs, so pay up or—"

"I got it," I said, striding up to the counter.

Bruce turned as I stood beside him, but I didn't acknowledge the eye contact until I finished paying his bill.

"You didn't have to do that," Bruce mumbled.

"I know," I said, "but it's the least I can do. Without this wise guy here, I might have missed you and we both know how sad you'd be about that."

"Jen…" Bruce began. "I…"

"It's nice to see you too, Bruce," I said, pulling the idiot into a big hug.

That lasted a good minute and then I was left with the question of:

What do you do when you reunite with your elusive and infamous cousin who you haven't seen in over a decade? I mean besides running him down, paying for his bill, making a few snarky comments, and wrapping him in the tightest hug imaginable?

I don't know.

It seemed neither did Bruce. We stared at each other, things growing more uncomfortable by the second. Bruce coughed a very fake cough and took a step back.

But I wasn't going to let him get away that easily. "If you think you can slink off to your ivory tech tower after just a hug, you got another thing coming," I warned him.

"Jen…" Bruce glanced over at the bartender who was staring at us with their eyebrows raised.

"Eyes on me, Bruce. You owe me…" I looked down at my receipt, "one thousand nine hundred and seventy-three dollars and fifty-eight cents," I happily informed him. When it came to family, I was not above extortion.

"Wait? What?" he said, gaping at me.

"She paid your tab," the bartender explained rather helpfully.

"But you said…" Bruce began.

The bartender shrugged and beat a slow retreat to sort the already sorted liquor on the back counter.

"I'll pay you back," Bruce said to me, still glowering at the unapologetic bartender.

"No need," I waved away his offer. "I don't want your money. I want your time."

"My time?" he repeated.

I nodded, trying to think through a night's worth of questionable decisions. "Food," was what my big brain came up with. "Time and food. That's what I want from you."

Bruce was squinting at me now. "Are you drunk?"

"No," I lied, sounding insulted. Like most good lawyers and countless bad ones, I had a high alcohol tolerance and always sounded less drunk than I was. My words weren't slurred at all, thank you very much.

"You are drunk," Bruce concluded like the annoying cousin he was.

Shit. "That's not important," I said, feeling myself losing control of this situation.

"Uh…I think it is. My baby cousin is drunk and alone in a foreign country," he said.

"I'm not alone," I argued. "You're here."

"I'm hardly," he started to say before it went inaudible.

"What was that?" I asked. Bruce could be such a mumbler.

"Where's your hotel?" he replied.

"It's…" I paused. I'd forgotten.

Oops.

"Hold on. Let me check my phone," I said, pulling out my cell, but after getting me through the airport and the beginning of the night, the phone refused to respond.

"Your phone is dead," Bruce said, incredulous.

I looked back at him, trying to hide a smile. "It seems so. I am a damsel in distress at your mercy."

Bruce barked out a laugh. "Yeah, right. I wouldn't be surprised if you engineered this whole thing."

Not this time.

"Well," he glared at my phone and then me. And I knew I had won.

I let the smile take over my face and said, "How about dinner?"

"It's nearly 5 in the morning," Bruce pointed out.

"Breakfast then?"

He sighed. "Come on," he said, pulling me out of the bar. "I know a place."

I let him drag me out, but then I pointed at the club I'd been at. "I need to grab something."

Bruce looked between me and the club, probably deciding if he could abandon me.

I took control and started forward.

"What did you forget? Your wallet?"

I might not be dressed for sexy dancing, but I was purse-less and wearing one of my nicer suits which meant its 'pockets' were non-existent. Thus, like many a seasoned party girl my ID, my favorite card, and my now-dead phone were in my emergency wallet i.e. my bra.

Bruce, of course, didn't need to know any of that and I wasn't that drunk yet, so all I said was, "Just give me a sec," which technically wasn't a lie.

"I really don't do crowds," he warned me as we got closer to the club.

"Are you going to ditch me if I let you wait outside?"

Silence.

In other words, probably.

Just then the door burst open and Olivia and hot guy number 3 came out. "There you are," she said. "I was worried you had like…" she trailed off, staring at Bruce who was doing his best to look small and unfamous. "Hun," she began, "You can do better than—"

"Stop," I pulled out of Bruce's grip to hold up my hand. "Just stop. This," I gestured at Bruce, "is my cousin."

"Oh…" Olivia said, considering us. "Yeah, I see it. You two could totally be twins."

Okay, I wouldn't go that far. I wanted to explain what should be an obvious age difference, but I had bigger conversational problems to deal with. It seemed that Olivia's companion actually had opinions of his own, complex opinions that he was monologuing way too fast for my high school Spanish education. In college, I'd switched to American Sign Language.

Of course, Bruce, the brainiac, seemed to understand exactly what was being said and if his hard eyes and the sardonic twist to his mouth were any indication, some serious shit was being thrown our way.

Not good.

I quickly asked, "Do you need a ride home, Olivia?"

"Huh?"

When I repeated my question, she said, "No, I got other plans with Alejandro." Then her eyes went back to mentally undressing the magazine-ready man.

And yeah, I gotta admit those plans sounded excellent, but again, bigger problems.

"Great," I told her. "My phone's low on power, but don't hesitate to call me if you need to."

There. Due diligence done. I turned back to Bruce and said, "Let's go."

"Yeah," Olivia purred at Alejandro. "Where's your motorcycle, babe?" Of course, he had a motorcycle.

Alejandro stopped playing with Greek fire and pointed down the street.

Olivia tugged at his other arm and said, "Don't be such a tease! I need a closer look. Come on!"

Alejandro stiffly obeyed the command and the two soon-to-be lovers left us in peace.

"Where are we headed?" I asked Bruce.

His face cleared and he focused on me again. "Don't you still need to grab something?" he asked. "We can go after that."

"Already done," I told him.

"You were looking for that girl." His eyes drifted over to where Olivia was loudly complimenting Alejandro's wheels. Said wheels were just a moped which honestly was a bit disappointing.

My cousin huffed and complained, "I thought you said you were alone."

"You said that. I never agreed."

"Lawyers," Bruce muttered, before adding, "Do you have any other co-conspirators I should know about?"

"I'm not in undergrad anymore," I countered. It was one…maybe four times…tops.

"That's not a no," he said, wising up.

"That girl was an acquaintance, Bruce. My friends won't be here until tomorrow night," I explained.

He nodded, eyeing me.

I smiled angelically at him and said, "So…breakfast?"

"As usual, you're not as helpless as you appear," he grumbled, like it was a bad thing. "Come on, the diner is a few streets over."

The two of us walked the distance in silence. I was feeling smug about my unexpected good fortune, but after all the breaks I'd gotten tonight, I think you and I both know it would soon be time for my luck to run out.