Hound of the Shelbyvilles. The Simpsons go to the theatre district of Shelbyville. However the people there make fun of Springfield so Marge asks a non Euclidean architect to build a theatre to bring culture to Springfield.
== Plot ==
The couch gag is the Simpsons roasting on a spit over a fire pit.
The episode opens with them driving to Shelbyville.
"Well interesting place you've picked honey for us to go to." said Homer.
Marge smiled.
"You know, we should visit Shelbyville more often." said Marge.
Homer pulled the breaks suddenly as the car screeched to a halt.
"SHELBYVILLE?!" Homer and Bart screamed.
"Hell no!" Homer yelled. He turned round and they drove home.
Marge sighed.
On the freeway home. there was a jam so loads of cars were honking their horns.
"Move it!" A guy yelled.
"Shut up!" Homer yelled out his window.
"Homer what is your problem with Shelbyville?!" Marge nagged.
"They stole our lemon tree!" said Homer.
"They drugged our drinking water with LSD!" said Bart. (Lysergic Acid. A drug that causes hallucinations.)
"They stole our two headed goat!" Homer yelled.
"Dad the two headed goat was born in Shelbyville..." said Lisa.
"Yes but he died in Springfield..." said Homer.
"They are incest obsessed, cousin marrying freaks!" Bart snapped.
Marge sighed.
"Guys we're to blame too in this silly feud..." Lisa sighed.
"How?!" Homer gasped.
"Dad they cooked up a giant pizza so everyone torched their city hall..." Lisa frowned.
"It was a terrible pizza... Ugh... anchovies..." said Homer.
"I just want more culture in our lives!" Marge nagged.
Oscar cut in with a "Uh-"
"Oz I swear if you ask about vultures again!" Bart yelled annoyed.
...
The next day Marge tries again.
"Well we're almost there." said Homer calm and serene.
"Great idea on dosing them with my Ignorital Mom..." Lisa whispered to Mom.
Marge smiled.
"Hello smiley! Hello smiley people!" said Oscar hallucinating everyone as yellow smiley emoticons.
Bart winced.
"I also gave them some Focusyn just to be sure!" said Marge.
Lisa gasped. "What?!"
"Mom that caused Bart to have paranoia!" said Lisa.
"Aaaaaagh! Stop reading my thoughts!" Homer screamed as he stopped the car.
"We're going to the dentist aren't we?!" Bart tried to get out.
"No..." said Marge.
"It's worse! We're going to see... Gaaaauuuuhh! Your mother!" Homer gasped horrified.
"No but that would be-" Marge said but Homer turned the car round and drove home.
The next day.
"Ahhh... almost at Shelbyville..." said Lisa.
Homer screamed.
"Oops!" said Lisa. Homer spun the car round and went home again!
The next day.
"Ah... almost there..." Marge sighed frazzled by Homer's stubbornness.
"Wait! You're not made of Tuesday!" Oscar cried horrified at Hugo.
Homer screamed.
The next day.
"Here at last as Marge pulled up at the Shelbyville Merchandise Mile.
Bart and Homer were tied up and gagged with sticky tape over their mouths in the back crying in anguish muffled groans.
Marge smirked smugly.
...
Shelbyville, a snobbish, upmarket street.
"You know, we should visit Shelbyville more often." said Marge.
Homer and Bart cried muffled by the tape stuck across their mouths. Lisa and Hugo pushed Homer's Hannibal Lecter gurney and Graggle pushed Bart's.
Marge sighed.
They dragged a reluctant Homer and Bart around the fancy street.
"Such a nice area..." said Marge carrying brown paper shopping bags. Bart looked extremely bored.
There was a blonde, thin lady on a tiny cell phone with a tiny chihuahua in her tiny handbag...
"Their women have tiny dogs in their bags!" Oscar said horrified.
Marge sighed.
"They have a store that just sells shoes." said Lisa.
Marge was delighted. "Wonderful! Oscar you can get some nice formal shoes for weddings, Christenings, church and piano recitals!"
"Mom, I don't want to play the piano... I want to be a piano..." said Oscar.
"Oz seriously! Quit going on about that dumb Oscar's Orchestra cartoon!" Bart yelled.
Marge took Oscar and Hugo in the shoe store.
"I feel like I'm in Paris!" Marge said delighted.
"Paris, France? Paris, Texas... Paris, Kasterborous?" Oscar asked.
"France..." Marge sighed, irked by his silly questions.
"Good. because Paris, Kasterborous is an absolute shit-hole." said Oscar.
"Oscar! Language!" Marge scolded him.
They look at the shoes.
"Oh look Oscar! A brown shoe!" said Marge looking at the shoes.
Oscar yawned bored.
However Homer soon ruined things.
"Thanks a bunch Homer! We're banned from that store!" Marge ranted.
"Shelbyville snobs..." Homer scoffed.
Shelbyville people glare at them.
...
They pass more stores.
"Quack in a box?!" Hugo winced when they passed a parody of a Jack in a box restaurant.
"How about another crack at it..." Oscar frowned.
"How about another quack at it!" Ivan Ooze from Power rangers zapped him with purple lightning and he exploded in a cloud of burnt cinders and fragments of clothing.
Oscar immediately respawned and was seriously ticked off.
Soon they came across theatres either side of the street.
Lisa being intellectual was delighted.
"Oh! The famous Shelbyville Theater District! Can we see a play?" Lisa asked.
"A play? All plays suck, all the time, and always will, and everyone knows it." said Bart being an underachiever and proud of it.
Lisa frowned at him.
"Lis, I am NOT watching a stupid play!" Bart yelled.
"Look, we'll compromise." said Homer. "We'll go see a play that Lisa doesn't want to see."
"Huh?" Lisa was confused.
"Let's see..." They read the neon signs.
"Oh! Equus staring Sideshow Mel!" The one with Harry Potter naked in it...
Oscar screamed in anguish.
They all sighed.
"Oscar..." Marge was vexed.
"I don't wanna see Harry Potter actor Daniel Radcliffe naked!" Oscar screamed.
"Uh Oz... Sideshow Mel is playing his part..." said Hugo.
"Aaaaaaagh! That's worse!" Oscar screamed.
The Simpsons sighed.
"How about the Three Dollar Bills in Gay! Gay! Gay!" said Marge.
Homer screamed in anguish.
Oscar laughed.
"No freaking way!" Homer refused to let them see that play.
"Oh come on darling.. be nice..." said Hugo in a very camp accent wearing tight leather with spikes...
"Right that's it! Back in the car!" Homer seethed.
...
Back at the car. This is gonna be a looooong day...
Marge was furious with Homer.
"Homer J Simpson can you just stop finding fault with everything?!" She yelled. "Enough of this homophobia!"
"Marge you'll thank me on Hugo's wedding night..." Homer seethed.
Hugo was passing the time by reading Hound of the Baskervilles. That Sherlock Homes story about the giant evil dog..."
Oscar was reading the Dr Seuss book about Star-bellied Sneetches. They were referencing the two titles of this story, The canon and fanon one.
"We're going to see a play... come on..." said Marge. They all follow.
"Here we go, Songs of Shelbyville." said Marge.
Homer scoffed.
They buy tickets and then we cut to them taking their seats. It's a musical so there's singing.
"From the schoolhouse where our grandparents learnt."
"None of you even went to school..." Bart heckled because the delinquent boys he dealt with in Lemon of Troy clearly weren't educated.
People hush him.
"Bart don't heckle!" said Marge.
"To the bad zoo where all the animals burnt." The performers sang.
Lisa was horrified. Ralph clearly visited there and succumbed to the demands of his imaginary friends or plushies to burn the monkeys!
"We're home to Christian, Muslim and Jew."
"Although not many of the last two."
"Enough! Stop being offensive!" Oscar snapped.
"Sonny please do not disrupt the musical or you will be removed from the theatre..." said an Usher.
"There's a girl for every guy."
"Our love of our own cousins, that which about we are not shyyyyy..."
Homer retched.
"Birthplace of the button fly."
"In good old Shelbyville!"
How lovely! Not!
...
The play continued.
"Say, fellow Shelbyvillian, enjoying our famous low humidity?" A posh Shelbyville gentleman asked another.
"I'll say. The only thing lower than our humidity are the greens fees on our public golf course." said another.
"Which one?" The first asked.
"All three!" said the second.
"Yes. Yes." People cheer.
"Yeah but you don't let ethnic minorities on them!" Homer heckled.
The local people jeer.
"Sir..." an usher warned.
"Why' look, it's Springfield Billy!" said a character in the play.
A fat drunk idiot wearing a barrel arrived ob stage.
There is obnoxious hooting.
"What are you doing here in Shelbyville?" the gent asked.
"I came here for the legalized gambling." Billy replied.
Marge gasped outraged as she thinks gambling is a sin.
"But Springfield Billy, we don't have legalized gambling here." said the local gentleman.
Marge sighed in relief.
"Sure you do. I saw a bumper sticker that said "Free Tibet."" said Springfield Billy.
People laughed.
Lisa was outraged. She wants to free Tibet.
"They're saying Springfielders are stupid hicks." Bart gasped.
"It's like looking in a mirror." said Cletus Spuckler.
"What's a mirror?" Brandine Spuckler asked.
"It's a big city word for reversifying glass." said Cletus.
"Oh!" said Brandine.
Oscar laughed because he found their stupidity and inane nonsense funny.
== Plot 2 ==
The theatre lobby. Shelbyville people are chatting about the play.
The Simpsons leave the stage room the performance was being performed in.
"That show was hilarious. That Springfield Billy cracks me up." said an upper class snobbish lady.
"For your information, Springfielders can be intelligent and articulate." Lisa cut in.
"I happen to know because we're from Springfield." She explained.
The Shelbyville people gasped.
"Springfielders? Oh..." The posh lady fainted.
The silly toffee nosed fops made pigeon coos.
(What sounds like pigeons cooing)
Hugo face palmed.
Pigeons flutter and coo as they perch on Hugo.
"Oh heavens! those ghastly people are so filthy they attract pigeons!" A posh lady gasped.
"For your information those noises you are making is the call pigeons make when they've found food!" Hugo yelled startling the pigeons roosting on him. some flutter before settling again.
The posh twits coo like pigeons again.
Later...
The Simpsons find an ice cream or gelato trolley. Gelato is Italian for ice cream, of course fancier neighbourhoods probably prefer to say gelato.
"Oh!" Homer wants ice cream.
"I'll have a double, triple fudge surprise, with all the toppings, bananas, Jimmies, marshmallows, twenty scoops..." He is being a glutton.
Marge sighed.
"And one 99 cent cone for you all. Except Hugo." Homer was being a jerk.
"Get him an ice cream you jerk!" Oscar snapped.
"No."
Oscar points a machine gun at him. Homer screamed. "Okay one extra 99 cent cone!"
They are later licking their ice creams.
The townsfolk coo like pigeons at them again.
The Simpsons sighed.
...
Marge holds a town meeting in a red arts and crafts club room. or one of the back rooms of the church for Sunday School lessons. Moe, Skinner, Sideshow Mel, Ned, Edna and Agnes come along. Oh and Mayor Quimby too.
"This is the worst crisis the Springfield Cultural Activities Board has ever faced." She lamented.
Apart from the fact our Activity Board's acronym is SCAB..." said Oscar dinking a glass of water.
Marge sighed annoyed.
"Those Shelbyvillians are maligning us all." said Sideshow Mel being thespian.
"I've never heard such mean-spirited hate-hoots." said Marge.
"Actually they sounded more like pigeons cooing..." said Oscar.
Marge sighed and seethed.
"We've got to upgrade Springfield's image, show them we're more than just a town that's still afraid of eclipses." said Skinner. He had a funny newspaper headline.
It read "God steals sun. Mayor offers sacrifices..." He was gonna sacrifice goats in a pagan ritual.
Oscar laughed hysterically.
Marge sighed.
"Hey, how 'bout we open a fancy restaurant, and when people check their hats and coats, we steal them?" Moe suggest something stupid.
Oscar laughed.
"Why do you come to these meetings?" Marge sighed annoyed.
"Free water." said Moe drinking his glass of water.
"There must be something else." said Marge going into deep thought. "Think, Marge, think."
Omni-man from the Invincible comic was suddenly there. "Think, Marge, think."
Oscar winced baffled.
"Culture... Vulture..." Marge was using word associations to come up with an idea.
Oscar grinned and had a vulture perched on his head. "Do ya need more vulture in your-" Omni-man snapped his neck, killing him.
"Birds of prey..." Marge sighed.
Then she had an idea about hiring Frank Gehry to build a concert hall to attract tourists and show Springfield could be cultured.
However Frank Gehry builds Non-Euclidean, curvy, artsy-fartsy buildings. He probably helped build R'lyeh.
...
Springfield Lemon tree, which has recovered its foliage and fruit after Lemon of Troy.
Bart is holding a basket to collect falling lemons while Nelson kicks the tree to get it to drop fruit.
"Haw haw!"
Richard, Bart's grey haired friend who often wears a blue fancy jacket or cardigan had a ray gun and vaporised Wendell, the pale, constantly sick kid.
"Ricky, what are you doing?!" Bart yelled.
"He's an interplanetary spy. l blasted him into dust." said Richard.
Bart face palmed.
"Kids, you and your mothers are all going to Maine while the men work over the summer, you are not going to Mars..." said Homer referencing The Seven Yeer Itch.
"I wanna go to Mars..." Oscar whined, he was dressed up as an astronaut.
Homer face palmed and groaned frustrated.
"Didn't you die in the last scene?" Bart asked.
"I can not be permanently killed. I will deal with that jerk Omni-man later." said Oscar.
"Why is no one listening to me?" Homer groaned.
Bart was still collecting lemons to make lemon juice and lemonade.
"I have a question to ask." said Oscar bumming around and not helping pick lemons.
"Ask away Oz." said Bart as Oscar hadn't annoyed him yet today.
"What was with that posh, well to do, hoity-toity area of Shelbyville with the theatres? It's normally a trashy, hobo infested poor copy of Springfield with Joe's instead of Moe's and other bootlegs of our stores and people.
Bart considered Oscar's question. "Well we do have a fancy-pants, wealthy neighbourhood where the movie stars and celebrities live. Springfield Heights, their merchandise mile must be something similar." said Bart.
"Hey doofus!" Shelby called from the Shelbyville boarder that stopped just short of the lemon tree that took root on Springfield soil.
"Hey look it's the trash man." Bart taunted his enemy.
Danny Devito from It's always Sunny in Philadelphia was about to speak.
"Not now Mr Devito!" said Oscar banishing him from existence.
"Word about town is that you dorks were spotted in upper Shelbyville at the Shelbyville Merchandise Mile..." said Shelby.
"What of it?" Bart asked curtly.
"I thought I told you dweebs never, ever to set foot in Shelbyville ever again!" Shelby grabbed Bart by the front of his shirt.
"Okay how about I put my arm in Shelbyville..." said Oscar stretching his arm over the town border.
"No!" said Shelby.
"My head?" Oscar leaned over the border on one leg.
"No!"
"My-"
"Oz enough... The Shelbyville sucker has made his point... we'll stay out of Crud Town..." said Bart.
Shelby seethed with rage.
...
Springfield Cultural Activities Board.
Skinner considers Marge's idea to write to Frank Gehry asking him to build an orchestra hall.
"Well, we could use a new HQ for the Springfield Philharmonic. They're playing Gustav Mahler in abject squalor." said Skinner.
In the school gym an orchestra is playing classical music. Suddenly a basketball knocks over a cello player.
"Sorry..." said Database/Kyle.
"Can we have our ball back?" Kearney asked.
"Next time we're keeping it." said the cello player throwing the basketball back to them.
Then it's agreed. We will write to Frank Gehry asking him to build us an orchestra hall." said Mayor Quimby.
They settle on this issue by Quimby slamming his gavel.
"Any other agendas?" He asked.
"Yeah how do I put together an orchestra? I want my own orchestra... It shall be called, Oscar's Orchestra..." Oscar Tamaki was being silly again over that cartoon...
Everyone rolled their eyes.
Simpsons house. Bart noticed the cat, Snowball II was getting fat.
"Has someone been overfeeding Snowball II? She's getting fat..." said Bart.
"Nope in fact I don't think she's getting enough kibble." said Lisa.
Bart sighed as Oscar was holding interviews for his orchestra...
"To rebel against Thaddeus Vent..." said Oscar.
Bart groaned exasperated.
Some months later at Frank Gehry's office. Frank is going through his mail.
"Bill, bill, Bilbao, bill..." He read. I don't know what's funny about Bilbao...
"Bill, bill, bill... Buffalo Bill..." It puts the lotion on its skin...
"Snoopy stationery!" He found Marge's letter. Apparently she used Snoopy stamps and letter writing paper...
At the Simpsons house Bart is in the dining room and sees his mom's Snoopy stationery.
"Good grief..." he quotes Charlie Brown. A studio audience laughs.
Frank reads Marge's letter.
Marge narrates in his head. "Dear Mr. Gehry, would you please build a concert hall for our town? We may not be the biggest city, or the prettiest, but we were the first city in America to abandon the metric system." Marge sounded annoyed. "Because a band of drunken locals in the guise of a shady masonry slash illuminati secret organisation demanded we keep the metric system down..."
Lol Stonecutters...
...
Frank considered her letter. "...Hell no!" He screwed it up and threw it aside.
However the screwed up bundle inspired him.
"Eureka!"
There was a knock at his office door. "Come in..."
Cthulhu wearing a suit towered over him. "Have you finished your blueprints for that Starbucks on R'lyeh?"
"Yes Lord Cthulhu, we're ahead of schedule." said Frank Gehry.
"Excellent." said Cthulhu.
And we continue as usual...
A concert hall was built that resembled a crumpled up piece of paper.
"Behold the new Springfield Concert Hall." said Frank.
"Ooooooh!" everyone is in awe of it.
"And none of this would have happened if not for a letter I received from one little girl." said Frank.
"I wrote that letter." Marge explained.
"You wrote I was "the bestest architect in the world"?" Frank was appall by her bad grammar.
People laughed at Marge.
"Well, aren't you?" Marge asked.
Lisa was shocked and appalled by her mother's bad grammar.
"And you misspelled architect. You wrote Arkeetchnee buildy man thing." said Frank.
Everyone laughed at Marge.
She was embarrassed.
At home Lisa was worried as she read Mom's letters.
"Were you not taught English at school?!" Lisa asked flabbergasted.
"Well yes, but i was busy burning bras and protesting about feminism and women being empowered in the workplace." said Marge.
Lisa smiled. "Well that's super Mom But I can help you improve your handwriting. it's vital if you want to look for jobs as an empowered woman..."
"For starters. the adjective to superlative order is good, better, best. Bestest is not a real word..." said Lisa.
Marge made notes.
"Marge read this note..." Homer whispered passing notes around like a naughty school child.
Marge sighed.
== Plot 3 ==
Outside Frank's orchestra hall.
"What do you think about it?" Oscar asked.
"I think it makes a great skatepark," said Bart grinning.
"Me too." Oscar smirked.
The Simpsons theme as a jingle played as Bart and Oscar rode about on the curved and sloped roof of the orchestra hall on their skateboards.
Bart flipped and rolled in the air.
Oscar took off his skateboard's wheels and juggled them during air time then screwed them back on again before landing.
"Hey dweebs! This is our skatepark! take a hike!" said Jimbo arriving with Dolph and Kearney.
"Eat my shorts..." said Bart.
"Dolpha! Dolpha!" Oscar squealed at Dolph.
Bart rolled his eyes.
Shelbyville Merchandise Mile.
Sherlock Holmes smoked a pipe, he was being mimicked by Grin Adventures Billy as Sherlock Billy. Billy blew bubbles with his toy bubble pipe.
"What do you think Holmes?" Dr Watson asked.
"Too big to be a wolf. We're looking for a monstrous sized Hell Hound here." said Sherlock Holmes.
"Outstanding! How did you-" asked Dr Watson.
"Elementary, my dear Watson." said Sherlock Holmes.
"Pie!" said Billy.
Sherlock Holmes gawked at him while smoking his pipe.
The lower class, scummy area of Shelbyville, outside the zoo tiger house. It was hot today, which one of the boys commented on.
"Wow it's hot today." said a fat kid.
Shelby was still mad over Bart taunting him.
"Know what I do on such a hot day?" the fat kid asked. "I put my undies in the ice box."
Shelby made a grossed out face at him.
Springfield, roof of Gehry's orchestra hall. The bullies were lying bruised and groaning. Oscar was performing skateboard stunts in a halfpipe shaped part of the roof.
...
The Simpsons were getting dressed smartly one evening.
"Oh how enchanting! an orchestra!" said Lisa dressed smartly and wearing a tiara.
Bart yawned bored, because has a lazy, good for nothing brigand who hates anything educational or high cultured.
"Hey sis let me have this night of euphonious harmonies." said Hugo.
"Hey who said the freak could come?!" Homer yelled from upstairs.
In the master bedroom Homer had no pants on. He found the cat was sleeping on them.
"Hey fat cat! get your own pants!" said Homer.
Snowball II was sleeping.
"Hey kids! Why is the cat so fat?" Homer asked.
"Dad the cat isn't fat! She just has winter fur!" said Lisa. She picked up the cat but Snowball was extremely heavy. "Whoa!" Lisa was trapped under the fat Snowball II. "Okay she's fat..." Lisa couldn't move. "I can't get up! Someone dangle a piece of string..."
Homer teased the cat with string.
Snowball II batted at the string and sighed defeated.
Marge was combing Oscar's hair. He disliked her doing this.
Bart was adjusting his bowtie. "Who got to decide we go to this geek fest..." He sighed.
Marge sighed annoyed. "You need to appreciate the arts! not annual belching competitions and make fools of yourselves festivals! I swear the IQ of this town goes down every year..."
Homer got his pants on but now the cat was sleeping on his shoes. "Hey fat cat! get your own spats!"
Oscar laughed.
In a large auditorium with seats and a stage. Everyone in town turned up to listen to classical music.
Music plays.
"I'm so excited." said Marge.
"Iiiii'm so excited!" Oscar sang.
Marge sighed. Oscar said nothing.
"As-"
"That I just can't hide it!" Oscar sang.
Bart elbowed him.
"Guh!"
"Anyway as I was saying, I'm so excited." said Marge. "It's like giving birth to a child of steel and iron."
"Can you not remind us of the time Josef Stalin was Iron Man..." said Oscar.
Bart sighed.
...
Beethoven's fifth symphony plays. The duh duh duh duuuuuuh tune.
Oscar mimics it. "Duh duh duh duuuuuuuuh..."
Music plays. However people started leaving.
"Where is everybody going? The symphony, she has just started!" The conductor asked.
"So? We already heard the Dum, dum, dum, dum The rest is just filler." said Moe leaving.
"I thought this was gonna be the soundtrack to the movie Beethoven. Was I sadly mistaken." said Lenny. Beethoven the movie is about a really gross drooling dog.
Oscar laughed.
"It sounds better on my cell phone." said Bart, Beethoven played in beeps.
Marge was annoyed with everyone being bored by high culture and classical music.
"Ungh! Let go of the stalls freak! We're going home!" Homer was dragging Hugo off his seat but he did the human limpet.
"No! No you boorish, cretinous, half-baked philistine! Let me listen to this euphonious melody!" Hugo whined.
Oscar zapped Homer with a taser. "Ow!" Fine stay here! You'll miss dinner!" Homer made a move.
"I'm staying too!" said Lisa frowning.
"D'oh!" Homer grunted.
"And so am I!" said Marge.
Homer sighed. "Come on Boy..." He left with Bart.
"How are we related to them again...?" Bart sighed.
Bart and Homer went off to watch Truckasaurus on ice. It was like the Truckasaurus show they watched in Bart the Daredevil but o ice.
Lenny went to his apartment built next to a Jai Alai court and listened to the soothing thuds.
After the performance finished at the orchestral hall.
"Stupid hicks! Why didn't you say you disliked classical music?!" Quimby ranted.
"Mayor Quimby! You insulting the people is probably why you lost the mayoral elections to Adam West once!" said Marge cross.
Mayor Quimby sighed.
"We liked the performance." said Lisa. A few nerds and Martin and his family stayed along with Lisa, Hugo and Marge who was holding Maggie.
"Who cares what you dorks think!" said the mayor.
...
Town meeting.
"We're broke, but I have a plan. We change the name of the town to escape our creditors. I need names, people!" said Mayor Quimby.
"Lima, Peru!" said Lenny.
"Gotham City!" said Comic Book Guy.
Oscar laughed.
Bart frowned at him.
"Wiggumville!" said Chief Wiggum.
Oscar giggled.
"Burger King!" said Homer.
Oscar laughed.
Bart sighed.
"Funkytown!" Oscar suggested.
"No!" Bart yelled.
"Never mind..." said Mayor Quimby.
"Ahoy hoy!" said Mr Burns. "Perhaps I can help."
"What are your ideas Monty?" Mayor Quimby asked.
"Well I was going to turn the Gehry orchestra hall into a prison." said Mr Burns.
"We already have a prison..." said Mayor Quimby. the Springfield Penitentiary.
"Okay... a lunatic asylum." said Mr Burns.
"We have one of those too... And the polite term nowadays is a mental hospital." said Mayor Quimby.
"Well I'm out of ideas..." said Mr Burns.
Seriously the plot in canon was to build a prison when they already have one...
"How about we re-enact the civil war, with monkeys..." said Homer.
Oscar chuckled.
"How does that solve our debt?!" Mayor Quimby asked flabbergasted.
"It would amuse me..." said Homer.
...
And so Mr Burns never got his unnecessary extra prison that the town doesn't need as it has the penitentiary. And thus Homer didn't get arrested and snitch on everyone.
"Uh... The penitentiary is getting overcrowded..." said Wiggum. The cells in the penitentiary were full up with inmates.
Shut up!
At the Simpsons house.
Oscar saw something weird. "Holy mother of cheese! There's penguins tap dancing on the lasagna!"
Bart winced irked by what he was seeing.
"Burn the house down Ralph! Burn it all!" said Ralph's imaginary friend the pyromaniac leprechaun. Ralph nodded and smiled with a vacant look in his eyes.
And there were frogs wearing silly hats too. Although they may simply be figments of Oscar's deranged imagination caused by his severe bouts of insanity.
"Right that's it! We are going out for the day..." said Bart pushing Oscar out the front door.
Oscar was singing I'm every woman by Chaka khan while he left. Bart groaned exasperated.
Elsewhere Homer needed to take a urine sample at work. However he stupidly felt the need to swap his clean sample with someone else's. Buck Tamaki's to be precise. (Oscar's drug addict uncle.)
"Smithers! This urine sample is full of smack! Crack! Uppers! Downers! LSD! MSG! Green Gophers! Yellow submarines! Who's is this?!" asked Mr Burns.
"The computer says, gasp! It's Homer Simpson's sir!" said Smithers.
"Well he failed the urine sample! Tell him he's fired!" said Mr Burns.
"Of course sir." said Smithers.
"Drugs?! Impossible! My body is a temple!" said Homer. Inside him a golden homer buddha statue meditated. "Ooooooom! Ooooooom!"
"Smithers get this coked up man-balloon out of here!" said Mr Burns.
Homer groaned as he was escorted off the premises.
Bart and Oscar arrived at the orchestra hall with curved slopes and halfpipes making up the roof.
They went for a skate with their skateboards.
"Get off my masterpiece, you punks!" Frank Gehry yelled shaking his fists. Bart and Oscar wouldn't listen.
"I'll call your mothers!"
"My mother is dead..." Oscar retorted. "I killed her..."
Frank seethed.
"Yo, Frank Gehry! Like curvilinear forms much?" Bart taunted him.
"Or Non-Euclidean shapes?" asked Oscar.
Cthulhu roared and flailed his mouth tentacles.
...
At home, Bart and Lisa are watching the cat, who is very fat...
"We're not overfeeding her. We've been giving her this low-fat cat food!" said Lisa.
"I'll bet she's sneaking food from someplace else. Let's follow her!" said Lisa noticing the cat get up snd head off somewhere.
"I'd rather follow the dog. I think he's up to something." said Bart.
The camera focuses on the dog who has shifty eyes.
"One thing at a time, Bart." Lisa sighed.
Snowball heads to another house. She meows and scratches on the front door.
She meows.
"There you are, Smokey!" said a boy.
"Snowball ll has another family!" Bart and Lisa gasped.
"This is worse than when we thought Mom was having an affair. Turned out she was just going to the library to cry." said Bart.
"That's just depressing." said Oscar.
"Now she just bottles it up." said Lisa.
"Oh she mustn't do that!" said Oscar.
Once the boy took Snowball II inside Bart rang.
"Yes dear?" said a kind, sweet natured lady wearing an apron.
"Um... My turtle crawled into your cellar." said Bart.
"Oh. What is his name?" the mom asked.
Bart struggled to come up with a fake name. "Uh... Apron Boobsface."
Oscar laughed hysterically with a loud screechy laugh.
Bart sighed.
"Uh he has the giggles..." Lisa sighed. "Slightest thing sets him off..."
"Hehehehe! Apron Boobsface..." Oscar chuckled.
"Okay this is getting tiresome..." said Edgar the giant alien cockroach from Men in Black. "I am looking for a cat! Means worlds to me!"
Bart face palmed.
"Oh... so that fat little cat my kids are playing with is yours... don't worry, I'll get her." said the lady. She went inside.
"She seems nice." said Bart.
== Plot 4 ==
And now Oscar annoys a few prudish idiots by going on about his diapers...
Hugo was in the attic reading Hound of the Baskervilles. That Sherlock Holmes story with the giant dog in it.
"Can the giant dog be a cute, silly dog with a big wet shiny black nose who sniffs everyone?" Oscar asked.
"No... the dog is evil.." said Hugo. "And later on... a figment of the actual villain's imagination he uses to scare people off his estate he is wrongly claiming ownership from his living cousins.
"Also the estate is in the middle of nowhere surrounded by treacherous moors dotted with quagmires and pools of quicksand." said Hugo.
Oscar moaned perversely.
Hugo sighed.
"I shall list parody titles based on the novel's name. Pound of the Baskervilles, that's a Chip n Dale Rescue Rangers episode... Hound of the basketballs..."
Hugo groaned frustrated.
Within the story. Sherlock Holmes is called to the estate of the Baskervilles by the surviving heir Sir Henry Baskerville. There has been a murder. And reports of a giant monstrous black dog chasing people about the moor.
Baby Oscar was then in the story for some reason... Oscar as a baby was wandering the dangerous moors wearing just a diaper. It had a blue waistband and had Chip n Dale Rescue Rangers characters printed on it.
He was foolishly plodding about the moor looking for some quicksand. his pudgy, plump little feet smooshing in the thick mud.
Suddenly he felt a large beast breathing on him from behind as warm stale air blew his hair about. Oscar spun round to find a giant black cartoon dog with a big, round, wet shiny black nose. Luckily the dog was friendly.
"What are you doing to the story?!" Hugo groaned.
The giant black dog sniffed Oscar, blowing his hair about. Oscar frowned. The hound then started sniffing his diaper. Oscar blushed and sweated as the wet nose quivered and twitched.