'''Marge's Son Poisoning''' At a rundown fair Marge takes interest in a tandem bike and asks Homer if he'll ride it with her. He doesn't as he is more interested in his new dumbbells. Bart feels sorry for Marge and agrees to go on the tandem with her. They form a bond and go to a fancy tea house in Springshire.
== Plot ==
In an extended couch gag the couch turns into a monster and roars at the Simpsons. They scream and run out. Throughout Springfield citizens are attacked by their couches. I.e. Sherri and Terri are eaten by a beanbag, Eddie and Lou are in their car being terrorised by couches shaking the car, Frink is being zapped by his flying techno couch. Moe is shooting the booth couches with a shotgun. Homer then runs into a store and sits down only to find it is a store selling couches and they pile on him crushing him. The couch gag ends at the TV with eerie sci-fi music.
...
The Simpsons are at a rickety old pier.
"Ooooh! Paradise cove! I've always wanted to ride on that Ferris wheel." said Marge pointing out a Ferris wheel in the background. However it was suddenly demolished with small explosions and collapsed.
"Timbeeeeeer!' Oscar yelled with joy.
"They're demolishing the pier!" said Lisa.
"Where will junkies lurk under to do their drugs now?!" Bart asked.
"They'll find a way son. They'll find a way..." said Homer.
"Ugh..." Hugo sighed watching the rides and stores on the pier being destroyed.
"Arrrrr... t'was not to be Handsome Pete..." said Sea Captain to Handsome Pete, a midget sailor clown who resembled a distorted Krusty.
Handsome Pete played his concertina.
"Oscar put some lotion on! the back of your neck is starting to burn!" said Marge.
"It puts the lotion on its skin..." said Oscar doing a Buffalo Bill impression.
Bart groaned.
"Oz seriously..." Hugo sighed.
Homer then saw dodgems. "Oh! I wanna ride the dodgems!"
"Sir this ride is being dismantled! It's not safe!" said Raphael.
"I want to ride the red one! Outta the way!" Homer pushed past and got in a red bumper car and drove it about. It went out of the dodgem ring.
"Homer no! It's not street legal!" Marge called out to him. Worried.
"Oh don't worry ma'am. He won't get very far without electricity. Ha ha, gulp!" Raphael explained.
However Homer's dodgem car connected up with the tram lines and he went down the road.
Sometime later he caused mayhem in town and smashed into Wiggum's car, trapping it. He continued ramming the police car.
"Aww! He has us trapped in a corner..." Wiggum whined.
Back at the pier Hugo wanted fried fish.
"Hugo you just ate earlier..." said Marge.
Hugo sighed.
...
Bart and Oscar were talking about the couch gag.
"So Oz, what do you think caused that weird couch gag with the monster couches..." Bart asked.
"I dunno. Zuul probably?!" said Oscar.
Bart suddenly saw a magnesium bath wooden tub.
"Mom can we have a magnesium bath?" Bart asked.
"Hmmmm. No!" said Marge. She took him away from the magnesium bath being dismantled.
"But how will I keep up my vitality?" Bart asked. Then he laid on the floor and wouldn't get up. Marge sighed as she dragged him.
Lovejoy saw them.
"Uh he's just faking loss of vitality Reverend..." said Marge dragging Bart.
"Uh huh. I see..." said Lovejoy not believing her.
Homer then arrived in his dodgem. It was battered and smashed up by his antics.
"Had fun Homer..." Marge sighed still dragging Bart.
"Yup." said Homer. "What is Bart doing?!"
"Oh he's pretending to be dead to get a mineral bath..." said Marge.
"Get up off the floor now!" Homer yelled at Bart. But he wouldn't listen.
"Just leave him... Look! A circus strongman!" said Marge.
Homer went up to a strongman performer.
"Can I buy you? I need someone to throw a bathtub at Flanders..." said Homer.
"Moosk is not for sale!" said the strongman. "But you can have his last dumbbell for fifty dollars!"
"Hmmmm... Well I have always wanted to tone out my flab." Homer flicked his arm and wriggled about like jelly. "I'll take it!" He stammered wriggling about like jelly.
Marge saw a tandem bike and wanted it.
"Homer, if I buy a tandem, will you ride it with me?" Marge asked.
"Ahem! You already did that at the end of Duffless! Episode sixteen of Season four!" said Comicbook Guy.
"Why is that so important?!" said Marge.
"It's continuity. Deal with it!" said Comic Book Guy.
Marge sighed.
"Now Marge... I don't hate your mom... I just won't be sad when she dies..." said Homer lifting a dumbbell.
"Homer! I was asking for something!" said Marge.
"Sure! Potato, potatata... it's all the same..." said Homer lifting weights.
"And you Sir already got fit in King of the Hill, Episode twenty three, Season nine!" Comicbook guy yelled at Homer.
Marge sighed and bought the tandem.
...
However one afternoon Marge reminded Homer of his promise to go tandem riding together. However he just wanted to watch TV. "Marge a lot of people worked really hard on this show!"
Marge asked Bart. He was playing a tandem riding video game.
"Ride slope. Brake. Enjoy view. Enjoy! Enjoy!" said Bart.
Marge sighed.
The camera focused on Bart. "What? Can't I enjoy a nonviolent video game for once?"
Marge asked Maggie. Maggie went to sleep on the couch. Marge sighed.
Of course she didn't ask everyone yet Matt...
She asked Lisa who was playing her saxophone.
"Mom, I'm practicing for my recitals..." said Lisa.
Marge sighed and left as jazz honks and brass sounds filled the room.
Then she asked Hugo who was experimenting in the attic with his science kit. She jogged him causing him to add too much of a volatile chemical. It exploded in his face making him black with soot.
"No.." hissed Hugo, annoyed.
Marge asked Oscar.
"Sorry having a clown rehab meeting." said Oscar as there were clowns sat on chairs in the rumpus room.
A blue haired clown honked his horn.
Marge sighed and went tandem riding alone. Then suddenly as she sat on the tandem outside the garage Homer ran in screaming as her past self in her orange car nearly ran him over. The orange car ran over Marge.
"You were watching a badly cut episode on YouTube again... pay a TV license you pirate!" Bart sighed.
"Arrrrrrr!" Oscar grunted like a pirate.
Bart sighed.
Eventually Homer's show finished so he went down to the basement to lift weights. He ate a Powersauce bar.
"Mmmmmmm! Apples in bar form..."
Cousin Hank sighed as he played cards with Graggle.
Homer grunted as he lifted weights.
...
Marge was then trying and failing to ride the tandem alone. Eventually she did somehow.
Milhouse could see her riding the tandem from Bart's treehouse.
Bart was in the treehouse reading a comic with Nelson and drinking a squishee.
"Bart why is your mom riding a two person bike alone?" Milhouse asked.
"I dunno." said Bart reading his comic.
Nelson watched Marge, "Ha! Your mom is lonely!"
"Mom's don't get lonely..." said Bart. He saw Marge sitting on a park bench looking very lonely and drinking water.
Bart felt very sorry for her. He groaned concerned.
Ralph was dressed in a refined upperclass manner with combed hair while drinking a non alcoholic mint julep.
"Ralph stop doing weird things..." said Bart.
Elsewhere at the Simpsons house.
Oscar ran inside and frightened slammed the door behind him.
"What happened?" Lisa asked.
"Oh hide me! I'm being chased by three bears! There's been a dispute over some porridge! Don't ask questions!" Oscar locker the door and ran off upstairs.
Lisa grimaced exasperated.
"Also the couches are attacking again..." said Oscar.
"Oh glavin!" Frink was being zapped with lasers by his flying hover couch.
The backyard, Homer was lifting weights. "96, 97, banana..."
"Dad, banana is not a number..." said Hugo reading a book.
"Shut up!" Homer snapped.
Bart was reading Radioactive Man vs Dr Krab,
"How can a crab or lobster man be a doctor..." said Bart.
Zoidberg screeched and snipped at the air with his claws.
Bart winced.
"Bart you should see to your mom... she looks miserable..." said Milhouse.
"Milhouse if I want your advice I'll ask..." said Bart annoyed.
...
The following morning Marge was sleeping and Homer was counting revs in his sleep still lifting weights... A bicycle bell rang. Marge stirred but woke up when the bicycle bell rang again.
She was surprised to find Bart up and dressed ringing the tandem bell. "Hey Mom, wanna go for a ride?"
"Oh I'd love to! Hey! You're not just doing this to get me to make you pizza for breakfast..." said Marge.
"Woohoo! Pizza for breakfast!" said Homer.
"No... Mom I'm serious! I really wanna ride with you..." said Bart.
Joe Joe Thomas the rapper who was riding a motorbike with long handles sighed.
Marge was overjoyed. She got ready.
"Hello, Dominos...? No you call back in business hours! I'll recorded message you! Dial tone?! Why I oughta!" Homer was trying to order pizza for breakfast. And that ladies and gentlemen is why we have take away delivery apps now.
Homer sighed.
Outside Joe was rapping.
"Lets get outta here..." Bart said concerned and irked.
Oscar's room. He yawned and opened his closet to get ready. A school tie hissed and flew out tying itself tight round his neck choking him.
Oscar yanked at it and pulled as he gasped.
Suddenly a pair of strong, hairy arms undid the tie and pulled off of him, threw it to the floor and sprayed the tie with starching agent. That stuff they used in the 19th or 18th century to get stiff collars.
"Thanks." said Oscar wheezing.
"No problem, the Windsor knot is very tricky." said Moosk the bodybuilder from the pier.
"You're the strongman from the pier!" said Oscar.
"Moosk at your service." said Moosk.
"Well Moosk thanks for saving me from that dorky school tie but why?" Oscar asked.
"Moosk fight ties because Moosk fed up with stuffy office job. Now Moosk here ties turn kids into brainwashed obedient nerds!" said Moosk.
"You got that right..." said Oscar.
A giant hamster crashed straight through the bedroom wall.
"Oh this is Boo, the giant, space hamster." said Moosk.
Oscar winced and raised a bushy eyebrow.
...
Marge and Bart went bike riding while singing Sweet Home Alabama. In the background they soaked Hans Moleman with puddle water.
"Ooooooh! At least I'm sharing their fun..." moaned Hans Moleman.
Then the Lovejoys and the Flanderses waved at them.
Then Cleatus was choking a crocodile to make it cough up his son. A yokel kid was spat out of the crocodile.
"Now that was a close one, Incest Spuckler!" said Cleatus.
Bart and Marge soon found themselves in a spooky forest.
"Oh! This area's not developed! I better dial nine one on my phone just to be sure!" said Marge. She's typed ninety one on her mobile phone.
However they arrived at a quaint rural area called Springshire that resembled upper class British suburbs.
"Ooooh! A tea house! Let's go inside!" said Marge.
"Will there be video games?" Bart asked.
"Uh no." said Marge.
"Battle cages?"
"No."
"Fighting Robot arena?"
"Certainly not!"
"Ball pit?"
"No..." Marge got annoyed with his questions.
"Zumanity from Cirque de Solei?"
"No!"
"A bathroom?"
"Yes." said Marge.
"Good because that's the one I need the most. Let's go inside." said Bart.
They went inside.
Eventually they were sat at a table. Marge was drinking tea and Bart was stuffing himself with cakes.
"Wow! I love tea!" said Bart greedily eating cakes.
"You haven't had any yet." said Marge.
"Mom I meant the meal, not that hot brown stuff your drinking." said Bart. "We should have tea everyday at home!" He continued eating cakes.
"Believe me if I allowed Oscar, we would me.
"Oh yeah the daft Limey loves tea and cakes..." said Bart.
A posh lady poured them some more tea. "And who is this fine young gentleman?" she asked.
"Oh you..." said Bart eating a cookie.
== Plot 2 ==
Meanwhile one evening Homer and Lisa arrived at Moe's to find Moe, Lenny and Carl trapped under a pinball machine.
"What happened?!" Homer asked.
"Lenny's quarter got stuck so we shook the machine and it fell on us! Help us Homer!" said Moe.
Homer used the phenomenal strength of one of his arms that for some reason was really muscular to lift the pinball machine off of them.
"Wow! Homer you saved us!" said Lenny.
"Eh now Moe can get back to work serving us drinks." said Homer.
"Homer what did you do to your arm?!" Moe asked noticing his muscular arm.
"I was lifting weights. I think my other arm needs toning it feels left out.
"No wait! I have an idea!" said Moe. He whispered to Homer. Some of the things he said Homer took offence to so he went "hey!" And "Why I oughta!"
"But wouldn't I be at more of an advantage if I had two strong arms in an arm wrestling competition? I could be ambidextrous!" said Homer.
"Dad did you read my thesaurus again..." Lisa sighed.
"I don't have time to wait for you to train your other arm! I wanna join you up for the arm wrestling tournament this weekend!" Moe whined.
Homer sighed.
Moe made him a beer. "Why did you bring Lisa here?" he asked.
"It's Daddy daughter day." said Homer. "Bart is riding with Marge on her new tandem bike."
"Dad did you call Ned or Laura to look after Maggie while we're out?" Lisa asked concerned.
At home Maggie set light to the living room curtains with a flamethrower because she was left home alone.
"Anyway as much as my dad enjoys macho competitions such as Arm wrestling, Dexter is already training his dad for an arm wrestling match."
Dexter from Dexter's Lab was tinkering with a cybernetic arm he attached over his dad's real arm.
"Ugh... stupid Americans..." Dexter said in a Russian accent.
"Where's Barney?" Homer asked.
"Oh ever since he quit drinking he opened a foster home for imaginary friends." said Moe.
Oscar laughed. What it makes sense! Barney hallucinates weird imaginary friends while drunk!
...
The next day Marge and Bart were going out all day. "Mom unfortunately it's Lewis's party tomorrow so I've bribed Maggie, Lisa and Hugo to ride with you when I can't." said Bart.
"Why isn't that sweet dear!" said Marge.
There was a montage of Bart's siblings reluctantly tandem riding with Marge to where they needed or wanted to go. Marge took Maggie to nursery, Lisa to King Toots and Hugo to a science museum. They each looked bored when they arrived at their requested location.
"Thanks Mom..." Lisa said dryly as she went inside King Toots to buy some reeds.
Then Marge took Bart to the tea house again. This time he got some British man to read him a spell from a Harry Potter book.
"Wingardium Leviosa." said the posh British gentleman as he read Philosopher's Stone.
Bart started floating around because of the levitation charm.
"Bart stop floating..." Marge sighed.
Then the next day Oscar went with them,
"Why didn't you teal me there was a quaint english suburb called Springshire with teahouses?! As a proud Brit I live on cakes, biscuits and tea! 'ello guv!" said Oscar.
"Cor blimey, me noggin!" Bart mocked him by doing silly accents.
"Do not do that!" Oscar snapped.
They headed to the tea house.
"By thee gods! Oscar is that thou?" a heavy, baritone voice boomed. There was a formidable knight in shining armour stabbing the tip of his claymore into the sidewalk.
"Sir Ironclad? I haven't seen you in years!" said Oscar.
They fist bumped.
Bart rolled his eyes.
"What brings you here Oscar, forsooth!"
"Just having a spot of tea at the local tea house. ah sweet Blighty..." said Oscar.
Bart groaned.
In the Leafy Garret tea house.
Marge ordered tea and cakes with cookies. Yanks call biscuits cookies. what they call a biscuit is more like a scone.
Bart greedily ate cakes and cookies.
...
Meanwhile one evening Moe dressed Homer up as a nerd and got him to act wimpy in front of Rich Texan to lure him into betting he could beat him in an arm wrestling match.
"The geeks shall inherit the Earth..." said Nerd Rainer Wolfcastle.
Moe sighed.
Rich Texan sat down, "A beer please Moe." Moe made him a beer.
"Yeah excuse me, can I have a soda but the bubbles burn my tongue." said nerd Homer.
"Now partner that's just pathetic!" said Rich Texan.
"Moey, the man said mean things..." said Nerd Homer.
"Oh that just tarns it..." Rich Texan sighed.
"The square root of the longest side of a left triangle is yada yada..." Nerd Homer was being a nerd.
"That's a right triangle you idiot!" Some guy off screen yelled.
"Moe this guy is a wimp!" said Rich Texan.
"A wimp eh? I bet Homer can beat you at arm wrestling!" said Moe.
"You got yourself a bet!" Rich Texan rolled up his sleeve and got ready to arm wrestle.
Homer put his enormous muscular arm on the bar ready to wrestle.
"Aw crud..." said Rich Texan.
However Rich Texan didn't take to kindly to being tricked and took the both of them on a night walk on the beach at gun point.
Homer screamed when he pointed guns at him and Moe.
"Oh crap..." said Moe.
"He's challenging us to a duel..." said Oscar.
"Actually you can quell my anger by taking me on a long evening stroll on the beach..." said Rich Texan.
They go for a late night stroll...
"Mmmmm, smell that salty air..." said Rich Texan holding Homer and Moe at gun point.
Elsewhere Oscar, Moosk, Boo the giant space hamster and Jonathan the gay elephant were in an Alien nest shooting school ties with starching agent.
"Die ties! Diiiiiieee!" Moosk yelled.
"I like to tye dye my clothes sometimes..." said Oscar.
...
Meanwhile one afternoon Marge took Bart and Oscar to the tea house but to their horror it was shut with a handwritten note on the door.
"It's closed!" said Marge.
"Nooooooooooooo!" Oscar screamed.
Bart sighed irked by him.
Marge read it. Unfortunately it was not from Bowser taunting the Mario Brothers about his seven Koopa hotels...
"Oz..." Bart sighed.
"Dear pesky plumbers..."
"Oz no! It doesn't say that..." Bart groaned.
Oscar laughed.
"Dear loyal customers. Sorry but we were forced to close. It seems there were rat droppings in our cakes. It's not that we were bad people, just that we weren't paying close enough attention! Tat tah!" read the letter.
"What happened?" Bart asked.
"Uh... She died." Marge lied and screwed up the letter and threw it away.
Bart got it and read it. "Eeeeeeew!" he groaned and screwed it up and threw it away. Oscar collected it and read it.
"Oh my god the gave us typhoid!" Oscar screamed.
They cycled back home. With Oscar following on his bike that still had stabilisers attached.
While they were cycling.
"Well I guess this is it. We'll have to go back to our separate ways..." Marge sighed.
"No wait. You can have tea in my treehouse!" said Bart.
"You're inviting me to your treehouse?!" Marge was honored.
"Why sure!" said Bart.
"Wow! That's like if Bruce Wayne invited his mom to the Bat Club!" said Marge.
Bart gave her a hard look because what she said was stupid.
"What?"
"Moooom... it's called the Bat Cave not the Bat club... And his parents were murdered when he was very young... He lives with his butler! Don't you read the comics?!" Bart explained.
"Uh no..." said Marge.
...
Marge and Bart were having Tea in Bart's treehouse. Marge was taken by how dirty and undecorated it was.
"So... You never decorated since your dad built this place for you when you were five?" Marge asked.
"Nope. Except that time I turned it into a casino." said Bart.
"Oh." said Marge. "Bart I don't like you running a casino..."
Bart sighed.
"Is that standing water?" Marge asked pointing to a puddle of water with flies buzzing around it.
"Well it started life as a bowl of cereal." said Bart.
"Eeeeeew!" Marge groaned. "And- Ugh! Bart is that wall smothered in your boogers?!" Marge found a wall of the treehouse had boogers smooshed and sneered across it. They had dried up and gone hard.
"Yeah that's my booger wall! Hahahahaha!" Bart laughed deviously.
"Bart..." Marge sighed. "I think I could really jazz up this treehouse!" Behind her Bart had at one point write Skinner Sucks in green paint.
"Okay but leave the booger wall." said Bart.
"Bart that's disgusting! No!" Marge sighed. Bart was laughing.
He was rolling on the floor in fits, he didn't notice that Mom didn't approve of his gross habits.
Marge and Bart then climbed down the ladder.
"But where will we have tea while we decorate?" Bart asked.
"I'll make good English tea master Bartholomew..." said Oscar talking posh.
"Okay Limey breath..." Bart mocked him.
"Enough!" Oscar yelled.
Later in the dining room they have tea and cakes.
"Oooooooh! What a delicious quiche! Ooooooh! A salad fork! I'm Baaaaart! I wash my face!" said Homer mocking Bart.
"Homer stop it..." Marge sighed.
"Marge I am trying to raise the boy to be a man! A real man!" said Homer annoyed.
Marge glared at him.
Homer scoffed and left.
Bart sipped his tea.
...
Bart's treehouse.
Marge had redecorated his treehouse with pretty pink wallpaper! It burns!
Oscar screamed in anguish.
Marge sighed.
"Wow! This place is awesome! It makes our house look like a pile of crap!" said Bart.
Marge frowned at him cursing.
"And I threw out all your old comics!" said Marge.
"Mom!" Bart gasped.
"Just kidding! I tidied them up according to series. The radioactive man ones are together in one pile. The Captain Squid are in another..." said Marge. Bart was relieved to find his collection intact and tidied up nicely for him.
Bart sighed with relief.
Hugo climbed up into the treehouse. When he saw the pink walls he was horrified.
"It burns! It buuuuuuurns!" He screamed.
Bart and Marge grimaced exasperated.
"Thank you Hugh..." Oscar agreed with Hugo.
"Guys it is my treehouse... Well now mine and Mom's tea house..." said Bart.
"Oh god! He's gone queer on us!" Oscar cried.
Bart sighed.
Moe's.
Homer was arm wrestling against a roughneck from out of town. Homer won and dislocated the poor guy's arm.
The roughneck guy screamed in pain.
"Aaaand the round goes toooo my buddy Homerrrrr!" Moe cheered.
Everyone cheered.
"Ugh this place has become too noisy..." said Carl as ge sat at the bar with Lenny as the place was drawing in new customers to watch Homer arm wrestle.
Bart's treehouse, Bart put down doilies on the mahogany tables. He whistled as he polished them.
Oscar sighed as he spied on him from Lisa's room.
== Plot 3 ==
Marge and Bart went shopping for a new tea pot.
"Since you've been such a gentleman Bart I'll let you choose the tea pot." said Marge.
"Coool! A Krusty the clown Tea pot!" said Bart picking it up, "And it talks!"
"Green Tea? What's that? Mr T's Irish cousin?" said the teapot before doing a Krusty laugh.
Marge sighed.
"Earl Grey? I'd rather have Linda Grey! Prrrr! She's still alive right?" Bart was testing the tea pot.
"Bart don't run the batteries out..." Marge explained. At least wait until we're home before playing with it.
"Oh! I took the shopkeepers pen! I'll be back in a sec!" Marge took a free pen. She wanted to give it back.
Bart was playing with the Krusty tea pot again. "What's next... What the hell! No I'm not doing that! Ugh... where's my agent..." said the tea pot. Bart frowned at that being recorded instead of whatever Krusty was supposed to say.
Suddenly Jimbo and his gang arrived.
"Hey Simpson! What are you doing with that tea set? Gaying out?" Jimbo asked.
"I'll answer that for you! Yes!" said Dolph.
"Hey Dolph I think I see your dads gaying out by the fountain!" said Oscar taunting him back.
A rough looking man with long hair like Dolph's wearing sunglasses and a green vest with an armful of tattoos was hanging with a mincing very effeminate man wearing spiky leather clothes.
"Right that's it! Your dead!" Dolph yelled as he lunged at Oscar and started beating him up.
"It was worth it! Ugh!" Oscar yelled as Dolph finished beating him up.
Bart sighed.
"Word on the street is that you've been spotted hanging out with your mom! You're a real momma's boy!" said Jimbo ignoring Dolph and Oscar in the background.
"Hey Bart Simpson is not a momma's boy!" Bart retorted.
"Baaart! I got us matching sweaters!" said Marge holding customised sweaters with a picture of them riding a tandem that only was apparent when you put the sweaters together.
Bart blushed as the bullies laughed at him.
"Oh yeah? Let's see how much of a mommas boy you really are!" said Kearney zapping Bart with his magic wand.
Bart was now just wearing a diaper and a baby bonnet and sucking a blue pacifier.
"Now you're a mommas boy!" said Dolph.
Bart grimaced as his stomach gurgled and he messily pooped his diaper. It sagged visibly. "Hey! You made me do a poopy!"
The bullies laughed.
They started zapping each other with their wands.
"Boys stop it! This is no place for childish magic duels! And besides there's Nomajs everywhere!" said Marge. "Now I have to take Bart home to change the diaper you zapped on him!"
Bart blushed as Marge took him home wearing a soiled diaper and a baby bonnet.
...
At home Marge was cleaning Bart up. He was laying on the living room floor naked with his diaper open as Marge wiped him clean and discarded the dirty diaper.
"Bart, I'm so sorry." Marge apologized to him.
"It's not your fault Mom. But I have street cred at school. I mean a reputation. Momma's boys get picked on at school! Now Jimbo will never let me live it down..."
"Does that mean we can't hang out anymore?" Marge asked sadly.
"Mom you know I never want to make you unhappy! But you don't wanna see those guys laugh at me constantly right?"
That's right! I'll show those bullies my son is not a momma's boy!" said Marge.
"Mom, no! That won't help!" Bart warned her.
"Hold still sweetie while I tape up your diaper." said Marge. Bart winced as she taped up a new diaper on him tightly.
"When is Lisa gonna find the counter curse..." Bart groaned.
"I don't know dear." Marge smirked. "It is a cute spell though..."
Bart groaned.
The bullies just laughed when Marge explained.
"How's the diaper, baby?!" Jimbo taunted him.
"Disturbingly comfortable..." said Bart blushing.
"Why the geeky sweaters?!" Jimbo asked laughing.
"I thought they looked nice!" said Marge. "The truth is Bart's had to get a larger size because his tummy is getting all gloopy from all the cake his been eating!"
"Mooooom!" Bart blushed as the bullies giggled.
"Someone likes princess cake..." said Marge.
"Ha! Princess cake! Bart you've just earned yourself a new nickname! Princess cake!" said Kerne.
The bullies kept saying Princess cake.
"Mooooom!" Bart was mortified.
"Oops!" Marge gulped.
Elsewhere... Oscar was violently opposed to ladders!
"GODDAMN LADDERS!"
Hugo winced as he saw Oscar yell at the attic ladder.
...
Bart was so cross with Marge he ripped down the decorations in his treehouse and smeared boogers across a wall to rebuild his booger wall. Ge picked his nose abd fetched slimy boogers to smoosh on the walls.
"Ugh! Sweetie..." Marge groaned. "Don't pick your nose!"
"Mom I can't look at you right now! You humiliated me in front of the school bullies!" Bart ranted. "We are no longer hanging out!"
Marge gasped.
Bart was still making his booger wall some time later when Lisa came up to see him.
"Hey you're not allowed up here! Read the sign!" said Bart.
"What that one?" Lisa asked. There was a heartfelt picture of Bart and Marge saying Mom and Son. Bart growled annoyed and tore it down. Underneath was a sign saying no girls allowed!
"But your new girlfriend Lisa Glumplich is a girl!" said Lisa.
A yokel girl laughed goofily at them.
"Narrator! No! We are not doing anymore Glumplich jokes!" Bart yelled at the fourth wall."
Just say the line...
Bart sighed. "No girlssss... We're allowed one just not you!" said Bart to Lisa.
Lisa growled and went back down the ladder.
Bart was adding to his booger wall.
Marge was upset that Bart no longer wanted to hang out.
"It was creepy anyway..." said Homer.
Marge sobbed.
Elsewhere Oscar continued yelling at ladders and made a friend called Andre.
"Hey Andre!"
Andre waved.
Bart was in his treehouse that night wearing just a diaper. He was reading his comic when he heard Grampa sing I wanna be like yoooooooouuuuu oooooo uuuuu... from Disney's Jungle Book.
Bar looked out his treehouse. Gorilla Abe was on the lawn singing.
Bart sighed.
"... the jungle VIP..." Grampa cursed by the witch into a gorilla sang as Bart wearing a diaper climbed down from his treehouse. Once Bart's feet touched the cold evening grass Grampa as a grey gorilla suddenly scooped the small boy up in his arms because Disney gorillas are rather grabby but playful. "Hey sport!"
"Hey Grampa still oddly in the form of a gorilla..." said Bart.
"Yep." said Grampa.
...
Oscar was contributing to the booger wall. He had a lot of boogers up his nose to contribute...
Bart sighed.
"Blaaachoooo!" He sneezed a slimy snotty sneeze over the booger wall.
"Gesundheit..." said Bart giving him a handkerchief to blow his nose.
"Something is wrong with your mom... she's been petting the dog for three hours..." said Oscar.
Marge was petting Santa's Little Helper. He tried to escape but she pulled him back by his leash and petted him some more.
The dog whimpered.
Bart made a disappointed groan as if he felt bad.
Marge went out alone and burnt the bike. Then she got the bus home.
Bart found Marge in the kitchen drinking coffee in a mood.
"Hi Mom..." he said feeling bad.
"Hi Bart. I've got rid of the bike just thought you'd like to know..." said Marge in a mood.
"No! I liked that bike! Really! We had so much fun together!" said Bart.
"Well too bad... I thought you'd feel think it made you a momma's boy..." said Marge.
"No! Who cares what those bullies think!" Bart replied.
Marge stirred her coffee.
"Mom... There's a karaoke night this weekend at the school... Some of the little kids are bringing their moms..." said Bart. "Wanna come?"
Marge lightened up. "Really? I wouldn't be an embarrassment?"
"No! Who cares that I love my mom!" said Bart.
"Can we do a duet?" Marge asked.
"Sure! Why not!" said Bart.
British Dennis the menace groaned in disgust. "I thought you had stopped being a softy..."
"In America it's a wimp or sissy. and no I am being a goody two shoes this episode." said Bart.
"Bart I will use my evil powers to get you a magnesium mineral bath to restore your vitality if you just stop being a sissy..." Oscar groaned.
Bart frowned at him.
Oscar sighed noticing him giving him an annoyed look.
...
While Homer was at his er Arm wrestling contest Marge was at a karaoke store.
"Now what is a good duet? You and me against the wind? Why do birds? Ebony and Ivory?" said Marge reading the song book.
"Ebony and Ivory? Ohohoho! I'm sorry but that song is taken by me and my mother!" said Skinner. "They say when we're on stage together it's like Scary oke! Hopefully like Scary town, I hope."
"Oh! I'm doing a duet with my son Bart!" said Marge.
"That's super! You know my mother and I have been singing together since I was in fourth grade! And it's brought us closer together!" said Skinner.
"Seymour! A brightly colored car hurt my eye!" said Agnes.
"Don't worry mother, I have your eye balm in my man purse." said Skinner. He put some pink stuff on her eye.
"There's a good boy. You can push your crib into mommy's room tonight." said Agnes.
"Mother! It's a cot..." said Skinner.
"If it has bars it's a crib!" said Agnes telling him off.
Marge sighed embarrassed.
Bart's treehouse. He invited Martin for tea.
"Shall I play my lute?" Martin asked.
"No, never! Never play your lute!" said putting down his cup and saucer.
Ralph was dressed up again and drinking non alcoholic mint juleps.
Bart sighed.
Oscar wearing just a diaper was giggling while his living teddy bear creature Teddy was sniffing his diaper with his big wet shiny nose.
Bart sighed.
They later went to the woods to bury Cousin Hank after Oscar got fed up with him being a kink shamer jerk.
Oscar then decided to annoy with his magic. Got out his spell book and wand.
"Awakatelo Foligeto!" The trees grew splintery, wooden arms and grabbed Bart, Oscar, Martin and Ralph.
"Jeepers!" said Martin.
Ralph whimpered.
"What the?!" said Bart.
Then Oscar chanted a spell and all their clothes were replaced with diapers.
"Oz seriously! Enough!" Bart yelled.
Oscar grinned.
Then cartoon grey squirrels with big wet shiny black round noses sniffed them!
== Plot 4 ==
At the school karaoke, Apu was singing Where have all the cowboys gone? By Paula Cole.
(Singing)
In the audience Peter Griffin strapped in a Hannibal Lecter Gurney was screaming in agony!
"Aghhhhhh! Make it stop! Make it stop! Aaaaghhhh!"
"Okay we get it! He really hates that song!" Bart sighed.
"Mom I'm really glad we took part tonight." said Bart as they waited there turn.
"Um I'm it so sure about the bells..." said Marge. Bart had bells on his trousers.
"What? I love my tinklies!" His trousers sounded like Christmas bells.
"Oh my god! Oh my God! Santa's here!" Oscar yelled running about back stage.
"No he's not Oz! That's just the bells on my pants..." said Bart.
"And next up singing Ebony and Ivory is Skinner! And his mother, Mrs Skinner!" said Super Intendant Chalmers.
Skinner and Agnes were wearing Note block from Mario jumpers as they walked on. As they passed Marge, Bart and Oscar, Oscar had a sound keychain that made the sound the musical nite blocks make when jumped on. He kept making the sound.
"Oz..." Bart sighed.
Marge watched Skinner and his mother embarrassing themselves. Suddenly she imagined them as an older version of herself and Bart all wrinkly. She gasped.
"Nooooooo!" she screamed. She then interrupted the performance. "Stop this karaoke!"
The audience didn't seem to care.
"Mrs Simpson!" Skinner was cross with her.
"Now let her speak Skinner. She's just saying what we're all thinking..." said Chalmers.
"Mother what are you doing?" asked geeky Bart with his spikes combed.
"Don't call me that! I'm Mom!" said Marge. "And My son is not a momma's boy!"
"But Mom I thought you liked this!" said Bart.
"Bart you're a little heck raiser, I don't want growing up to be that!" said Marge pointing to Skinner.
"What? A brick wall?" Skinner asked.
"She was pointing to you Seymour..." Chalmers sighed.
"But Mom-" Bart was about to say.
"You're job isn't to worry about me. It's to give me things to worry about!" said Marge giving him a fire extinguisher.
Bart grinned and messed up his dorky hair do back to normal. "Hey everyone. I'm going to do to you what you did to these songs!"
"Interpret them artistically?" Skinner asked.
Bart squirted fire retardant at him. Then he squirted at the audience.
"Die! Die! Die!" Bart yelled as he squirted dry ice all over everyone including the bullies who picked on him earlier in the episode.
"We were gonna sing My Sharona!" Jimbo cried. Bart squirted dry ice at them again.
Marge was strangely happy he was misbehaving.
...
At Home she song Sweet home Alabama alone with a karaoke set until Homer came in with an arm wrestling trophy and sang with her.
...
Marge was tucking Bart in.
"So you want me to be bad?!" Bart asked.
"No no no! Just not a softy momma's boy!" Marge explained.
"But mom, I was making up for all the crummy things I've done... And I liked the time we spent together..." said Bart.
"Awww! You don't have to spend time with me going to fancy tea houses to make me happy Bart! Just be yourself! Just try to behave, a little bit... please..." said Marge.
"Okay Mom..." said Bart conflicted. "Can I be cute in a cheeky way like I used to when I was a baby and call you lady?" Bart asked.
"My name is mom..." Marge sighed.
"Okay lady! I love you bye bye!" said Bart putting on his Mindy voice and giggling.
Marge sighed.