Bored Games. The Simpsons play Board games. hilarity ensues...
Plot
Hugo Simpson walked into the living room or lounge where Bart sat on the couch watching TV. Itchy and Scratchy was on.
"Have you seen Oscar anywhere?"Hugo asked.
"Not since this morning". Bart replied.
"There's no telling what kind of trouble he's causing". Hugo mumbled, sitting on the couch next to his brother.
To their surprise,Oscar teleported onto the empty spot between them.
I really wish He wouldn't do that... Hugo sighed.
"Look what I found!" Oscar shoved a smelly, diseased puppy in Bart's face. "He's stinky looking!
"Oz get that thing outta my face!" Bart yelled.
Oscar did so but sulked.
Kitchen. Marge and Luanne chatted.
"Thanks for hosting." said Luann
"How was the sleepover?" Marge replies.
"They were fine until Bart clobbered my Milhouse with his own Magic 8 ball." said Luanne.
Marge seethed annoyed at Bart.
"I think Kirk is to blame too. He gave them Monster energy drinks..." said Luanne.
Marge sighed.
Living room. "Yo, Hugh, budge up." said Bart.
Hugo gave him an evil grin and fished out his needle and ball of string.
Bart screamed and fled.
"We will be as one again, brother..." said Hugo menacingly.
It had been Marge's idea, The Simpsons and the Van Houtens, playing board games. Mostly to get Kirk and Luanne on speaking terms again and to keep them from splitting up again.
Bart just liked hanging with Milhouse.
Homer hated the idea. He huffed and sipped his beer as he didn't get along with Kirk.
"It'll be fun!" said Marge.
Homer scoffed.
"I'm here because I have nowhere else to go!" Kirk stammered.
Luanne sighed giving Kirk an icy look.
...
Marge may have planned the activity but she was at loss for what game to play.
"Let's start with something intellectual. Like Scrabble." said Lisa.
Bart retched.
"Quiet boy." Homer sharply reprimanded him. "Okay but then we play Hungry Hungry Hippos!" said Homer,
Lisa winced, concerned by his obsession with Hungry Hungry Hippos.
They play scrabble.
"Four letters, K on the Triple word score square..." said Bart confidently.
"Bart that's not a real word..." said Lisa.
Bart sighed taking back his tiles.
Oscar put down a very bad curse word.
"Oz!" Lisa gasped.
"Oscar! No curse words!" Marge told him off.
Later...
"Um..." Homer was stumped. He had Oxidize arranged in order on his letter tile holder.
"Id." Lisa put down.
"No acronyms..." said Homer.
"No Dad! Not I.D, Id!" said Lisa.
"As in Stupid..." said Bart.
Oscar laughed.
Homer seethed at the boys.
"Very funny Bart..." Lisa sighed.
Marge got out the dictionary. "Homer, Lisa explained this word years ago..."
"It's the little shoulder angel in cartoons. The id, the ego and the super ego." said Lisa.
Homer sighed and totalled up her score.
Bart then tried to put Kwijibo down again.
"Bart no... not kwijibo again..." Lisa sighed.
"Dad's a kwijibo..." said Bart.
Homer throttled him.
...
The school. Willie was painting it grey.
"Uh Willie We've come to accept the school is actually orange..." said Skinner.
"Ach!" said Willie.
At the Simpsons.
Oscar was taken over by Dark Oscar. He put down on the word grid in three letter tiles the word "DIE"
Lisa flinched.
"Ugh... Time to play something else..." said Homer.
They play Hungry, Hungry Hippos!
Homer giggled enjoying the game way too much... "Come on blue hippo! Eat the tiny white plastic balls!"
Bart sighed tapping his hippo.
"Our lawyers insist we call this game Ravenous Ravenous Rhinos..." said Hugo.
Oscar rolled his eyes while tapping his hippo so it sprung forward to eat the tiny white plastic balls.
"Can I play..." Grampa asked.
"No!" Homer said rudely.
Grampa whined.
"You sunk his battleship." said Jasper.
"Jasper we're not playing Battleships..." said Homer.
"Can we play battleships?" Jasper asked.
Homer sighed.
Next they took a break.
Oscar was drinking a can of Buzz Cola.
"How about Twister?" Marge got out the Twister game.
"No thanks, I don't want Dad's butt in my face..." said Bart.
"Shut up!" Homer snapped.
"I pulled a muscle in my back a few weeks back so no thank you." said Kirk.
"Bart cheats at Twister with his Stretchdude powers..." said Lisa frowning at Bart.
"I do not!" Bart retorted.
"Do too..." said Lisa.
"Do not..."
...
They play Twister.
"Left foot green spot." said Homer contorting himself to reach a coloured spot.
"Right hand yellow." Lisa gave Bart instructions.
He cheated by stretching like rubber with his Stretchdude powers.
"Bart that's cheating!" Lisa yelled.
Bart laughed.
They then play Candy Land.
Bart groaned. "Do we have to play this lame game..."
"Bart are you trying to kill my sugar-coated happiness?!" Oscar yelled.
"Oz grow up! Why so you like this sappy game..." Bart whined.
"It's about a wonder land of candy!" said Oscar sighing with joy.
"Mmmmmm... candy..." Homer drooled.
They roll and take turns and stuff. They are in the very first zone or area. There are fields of grass and giant lollipops etc.
A cherry-red gummy bear approached them, grinning wildly.
"Welcome to Candy Land!" it squeaked.
Homer screamed, terrified.
"KILL IT!" he cried, burying his face in his palms and weeping, "FOR THE LOVE OF ME, KILL IT ALREADY!"
Oscar gawked deeply concerned by his hysterical response.
"Uh..." Bart was lost for words.
They meet the gingerbread boy.
"I will catch thee! The gingerbread man!" Oscar chased the gingerbread boy trying to eat him.
The gingerbread boy fled screaming.
Bart winced.
Milhouse found a taffy fruit. He squeezed it and green goo shot out splattering in a puddle nearby. Bart not paying attention walked into the puddle and got stuck.
"Nnnnnnnngh! what the?!" Bart grunted grabbing his own ankle and trying to pull himself free of the goo.
"Why are we "in" this particular board game..." Hugo sighed.
"Because we are..." said Oscar grinning he was sucking on a lollipop.
"Hey there!" The gummy bear was back...
Homer screamed.
...
They were back in the lounge trying to find another game to play.
"How about Pictionary?" Kirk asked.
"Uh..." Homer knew that would cause arguments like last time.
"How about Clam attack?" Lisa asked.
"CLAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMSSS!" Oscar yelled in a demented manner.
"Uh... no..." Bart winced.
"Steamed clams..." said Oscar.
Bart sighed.
"Cluedo?" Hugo asked.
"Well um..." they all pondered.
"Harry Potter Cluedo!" Oscar grinned.
"Nah stick to regular Cluedo..." said Homer.
Then the two versions of Simpsons Cluedo don't make sense! one version has Homer as Professor Plum, one has Bart as the professor.
"Dad can't think his way out of a paper bag... and Bart hates anything intellectual..." said Hugo.
"Fine! Lisa can be the professor..." Bart sighed.
"So another fun-packed sunday eh?" said Kirk sheepishly.
"Shut up Kirk..." said Homer.
In a mansion parlour.
"So yes I saw with my own eyes four Ravenous Ravenous Rhinos in a bayou." said Homer as Colonel Mustard.
Marge as Nadame Peacock was impressed.
"Ah bonsoir Monsieur." said Oscar wearing a Poirot moustache.
"Oz..." Bart sighed. "Poirot is not a character in Cluedo."
Oscar sighed.
"It says on this card the murderer is..." said Homer.
"Dad no! Do not ruin the game!" Lisa whined.
"Homer yiu do that every murder mystery! spoil it by blurting out who the killer is!" Marge nagged.
Homer sighed.
Oscar as Poirot was sipping tea.
...
Mansion Utility room.
"I'm a washing machine!" said Ralph squeezed into a space a washing machine might fit.
Bart as air-headed rock star Zac Scarlet sighed exasperated by Ralph.
"Can I just play Ms Scarlett in drag..." said Bart.
"No! Stop doing that!" Oscar yelled in disgust.
Bart laughed.
In the parlour. Smithers was the maid...
"Yet he can do drag..." Bart sighed.
"Everyone knows Smithers is camp..." said Homer as the colonel.
Then the lights went out.
Homer screamed.
They went on again.
Zac aka Bart had been killed!
Everyone gasped.
And that ends Act 1.
Plot 2
The Simpsons Lounge.
"Oh great... I got killed..." Bart sighed.
"Eh, tough luck... Professor... Lisa mocked him for wanting to be the intellectual Professor, a char that didn't suit the moronic boy.
The next day at school Bart is graffiting a message of Skinner saying "I'm a wiener!" But wiener was spelt weiner.
"Bart if Skinner catches you then you are so dead!" said Milhouse.
"Hey don't I get any lines?!" Richard whined.
"Ricky, Lewis... You don't have any lines anymore... You're background characters..." said Bart.
Martin tried to go off to rat on Bart. But Oscar tackled him to the ground and hog tied him.
"Ugh! Unhand me at once! Brigand!" Martin stuttered.
"No chance. I hate tattle tales..." said Oscar sitting on him.
Bart soon finished his masterpiece.
"Bro you misspelt wiener..." said Hugo.
Bart rolled his eyes.
"Let's hide the evidence now! Bart you got red paint on your palms!" said Milhouse.
Bart saw his palms were red with paint. They all went to the bathroom to wash their hands.
"Nelson be a pal and pummel Martin into keeping his trap shut." said Oscar leaving Martin in Nelson's care.
"Okay but learn to use the bathroom..." said Nelson.
Skinner was patrolling the school. He gasped. There was another crude drawing of him announcing he was a wiener. "Some ruffian mocking me again! rats! My little helper Martin has gone a wandering..."
Martin was tied up and gagged to shut him up.
"Seymour we know the usual culprit..." Edna sighed.
"In Cluedo you need evidence first Edna..." said Skinner.
"Oh yeah this an episode about board games..." said Mrs Krabappel.
Bart smugly went to class without a visit to the school from his parents looming over him.
Martin arrived roughed up. He scowled at Bart.
"Why must you mock our wise principal and rule making school master?!" Martin ranted.
...
Mrs Krabappel arrived.
"Class we are doing a maths test today."
Everyone except Martin groaned.
"Now put your name on the front and get st-" said Mrs Krabappel.
"Mrs Krabappel! Mrs Krabappel! Bart needs to sit facing the window so he doesn't Mmmmnph!" Nelson grabbed Martin and subdued him when he tried to squeal on Bart.
"What was that Martin? eh..." said Mrs Krabappel sitting down.
But tests are boring so back to board games!
"How about Ludo?" Lisa asked at home suddenly.
Homer scoffed.
"How about backgammon?" Hugo suggested.
"Mmmmmm! back gammon..." said Homer drooling.
Hugo winced.
Backgammon, yes a riveting game of backgammon...
Homer was baffled by the strategic game and at a loss of what to do, or even what move he could legally make.
Hugo bored everyone by discussing Wittgenstein.
"My propositions are elucidatory..."
Bart groaned bored. "I'd rather being doing that stupid math test!"
"I'd rather be eating mustard packets in Barney's car..." said Homer.
Martin was outside reading.
Bart made a silly face at him.
Martin pulled a gookie.
Bart bit his upper lip with his lower teeth sticking out.
Martin made a ridiculous face.
"Bart is it those dogs again..." Marge asked shutting the curtains.
Bart then day dreamed about Donald Duck in Mathmagic Land except with himself instead of Donald and on a train.
Bart was counting the passengers. They had pink numbers on them.
He got knocked over. Bart spat out a number.
...
More Candy Land.
Homer was screaming at the gummy bears again.
Oscar face palmed embarrassed.
"We're supposed to start at the Ginger Plum tree." said Oscar.
"Ugh... Seriously Oz... This game is lame!" Bart groaned.
"No it's not! It's cute!" said Oscar.
"It was invented because of Polio..." said Bart.
Oscar rolled his eyes.
"Oh my goody gumdrops!" said Lisa.
Bart groaned.
"Look! It's lollipop lane!" said Oscar.
Bart wept and laid upon his crossed arms mortified.
They then went to the candy hearts area. The candy hearts sweets had lovely messages on them like I Love You, etc.
Bart wrote rude, nasty messages on them, like "U R A Pig." Bart laughed.
Lisa sighed.
Hugo was examining a candy heart while Oscar was just devouring them. "I wuv you?! What is this concept of wuv?!"
"Maybe they meant love?" Oscar asked.
"No Wuv, with an Earth W, behold!"
"THIS CONCEPT OF WUV CONFUSES AND INFURIATES US!" Oscar screamed in anger.
Later...
"We have arrived at Peppermint stick forest." said Oscar.
Wreck it Ralph was there...
"Ralph... you don't exist yet..." said Oscar.
Ralph vanished.
"Watch out for the double stripe branches, they fall..." said Oscar.
A double stripe candy cane fell and bounced off Homer's head. "D'oh!"
...
"Maybe we should move to another game... I'm getting a cavity..." said Milhouse.
Oscar pouted.
They look through the board games again.
"Clams..." Oscar wanted clam attack.
"No Oz..." said Bart.
"Snakes and Ladders?" Lisa suggested.
"I can't see why not..." said Bart. They played snakes and ladders.
"Dad you landed on a snake..." said Lisa.
"Oh yeah? One, Two... Ooooooh!" Homer groaned.
Samuel L Jackson appeared in their loubge.
"Um..." Bart winced.
Sam saw the snakes on the board.
"ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! I'VE HAD IT WITH THESE MOTHERFUCKING SNAKES ON THIS MOTHERFUCKING BOARD GAME!"
Bart sighed. "Okay that's why we can't play this game..."
They look at the different versions of Monopoly...
"Funopoly, Rasta Monopoly, Edna Krabopoly..." Lisa is reading them out.
"Ay Carumba!" Bart yelled when he saw the Edna version.
"Gallipolipoly..." Yes there's a version based on that battle in Turkey...
"Oh! Play that one!" Oscar cooed.
"No Oz..." said Bart.
"The Capitol City version..."
"With Wayne Street!" said Milhouse.
"Where Batman lives!" Oscar grinned.
"No Iz... Batman doesn't live on Wayne street..." Bart sighed.
"Fine I'm watching Lilo and Stitch..." Oscar sulked.
Bart winced.
"And then Leeroy and Stitch! Leeeeeeeroooooooyyyy Jenkiiiiiiiins!" Oscar yelled.
Bart face palmed.
...
They play monopoly.
"One, two, three." Homer moves his piece.
"And you land on my property space Dad, with the luxurious Hotel Lisa." said Lisa.
Homer sighed handing over money.
"How can an iron be a landlord?" Marge asked.
"I'm buying one of the tiny green plastic houses- Hey where did they go?!" Bart adked.
Maggie had them all in her mouth.
"Ugh... Maggie..." Bart sighed.
"I've said this again and again. This game is too old for her." said Marge.
"Look Luanne! I'm a fancy racing car!" said Kirk playing as the car...
"Well my piece is a big bed, like the one I share with my beautiful wife." said Homer.
Marge kissed him.
Kirk sighed.
Later.
"Can I buy Observatories in this game..." Hugo asked.
"No only green plastic houses or red hotels..." said Lisa.
"Dad you're a little light on funds..." Homer couldn't pay Bart his mortgage.
"I'm still good!" said Homer.
"You don't need to wear the jail box Oscar made while you're in jail..." said Marge.
"Yes he does..." said Oscar.
Marge sighed.
"Hey! Bart's hotels are just Blocko!" Lisa whined. His hotels were Blocko blocks.
"And..." said Bart.
"That's cheating!" Lisa whined.
"Well Maggie keeps eating the houses and hotels..." said Bart.
"Okay let's play something else..." said Marge.
The Simpsons and Van Houtens groan.
...
Ben Tennyson cameoed. "Why not just play video games..."
"Because that's way too easy a solution. And it doesn't encourage the family to talk..." said Marge. "Besides too much screen time is unhealthy..."
Ben sighed and left.
"We could play Frustration." said Lisa.
"Any game called Frustration is just gonna lead to arguments..." said Marge.
"Besides Oscar shattered the dice dome you press down by whacking it with Quiffy's mallet.." said Bart.
The Simpsons and their guests sighed.
"Well lets discuss our last vacation." said Marge.
"Where we went to Italy?" said Bart.
"You went to Italy?!" Milhouse asked with joy.
"Yep." said Bart.
"My Nana Sophia is Italian!" said Milhouse.
"Okay..." said Bart.
"Come on let's find something to play, Oh! Jumanji!" said Homer.
"Uh no..." said Bart.
"Yes! Play that!" Oscar laughed.
Bart sighed.
Plot 3
"Actually We're playing that later... We're now going back to Candy Land..." said Oscar.
The Peppermint forest.
The Simpsons and Van Houtens walked down the path surrounded by giant candy canes.
"Oh my gumdrops!" said Oscar.
Bart sighed.
Then there was Mr Mint, a cartoon clown with a red shiny nose.
"Oh my god! clown!" Oscar yelled.
Teddy screamed. "It'll destroy us all! DESTROY US ALL!"
Bart sighed annoyed.
There were also Clownjas...
"Okay..." said Bart.
Oscar stuffed two peppermint sticks up a Clownja's red shiny nose. He giggled.
Bart sighed.
Bart needed to calm himself in the lounge.
Oscar got out his cell phone and rang the house.
"Ugh... Simpson residence..." Bart sighed.
"Hello Bart! You're a stupid head!" said Oscar,
"Oz..." Bart sighed.
"Damn caller ID!" Oscar yelled.
"Oz I turned off Caller ID. I can see you on your phone..." said Bart.
"How do you you turn it off?" Oscar asked.
"67 is the code. That's why I like the number 67..." said Bart.
"I like the number 69..." said Oscar.
Bart winced grossed out at him.
Bart went back in the game. Homer was slurping on a candy cane.
"Even though peppermint is more of a Christmas candy, if Mom gets any on Halloween I like to make candy cane vampire fangs to wear..." Bart chuckled.
Oscar giggled.
Mr Mint was probably put off by their conversation.
...
"Come on gang! We're almost here!" said Mr Mint.
"Hey! I am leading this gang!" said Oscar frowning.
"We're not a gang... gangs are cool..." Bart sighed.
They passed by Todd riding a candy car.
Bart sighed.
"And Faceless Maude!" Oscar yelled in a demented manner.
Todd screamed when he saw faceless Maude.
Bart winced.
They reached the ginger plum tree. I don't know what ginger plum is.
"Plums and ginger go together in a lot of recipes." said Marge.
"Can you not read my transcript..." Oscar sighed.
He picked a plum.
"Hey! What ya think you're doing?!" said the tree.
"Omg! It spoke!" yelled Oscar..
"Um he was hungry." said Lisa.
"Well how would you like it if someone picked something off of you..." said the tree.
"I um think we should go now..." said Mr Mint.
They headed to gum drop valley.
"Oh goody gumdrops!" said Lisa.
"Right that's it! We're heading back home!" said Bart annoyed by the sappiness.
They head back to the lounge.
"Any game apart from that!" Bart ranted.
"Okay Clam Attack..." said Oscar.
"Not that either!" Bart yelled.
Oscar sighed while eating the ginger plum.
"Well what do you suggest..." Lisa said dryly.
"I dunno. Kerplunk?" asked Bart.
They play Kerplunk.
"Okay this sucks. back to Candy Land..." said Homer.
They head back to Candy land...
...
Gumdrop Valley.
"Oh goody gumdrops!" Lisa giggled.
Bart sighed.
"Holy strawberries!" yelled Mr Mint.
"Thank goodness the Flanderses are not here to get offended by people swearing things as holy in a blasphemous manner like Holy Macaroni etc..." said Oscar.
"Is the Happy Man here..." Hugo asked.
"No he lives in Lollipop Lane..." said Homer.
"How do you know that?" Mr Mint asked.
"Because I made him up..." said Homer.
"Well I made up the Clownjas." said Oscar. some Clownjas were hopping about jabbering.
Homer took a huge bite out of a giant green gumdrop.
"Can you not eat our world..." Mr Mint sighed.
Homer rolled his eyes.
"Let's move on..." said Oscar.
As they moved on Oscar was 'Away with the fairies' again.
"Oz?" Hugo asked.
"The leprechauns gave their lives for humanity when they died after being boiled in pots of their own molten gold!" said Oscar.
"Okay..." said said Hugo.
"And their potatoes were all gathered and hurled into an active volcano!" Oscar continued.
They then back track thro the plum trees. There is a green Lorax!
"I speak for the trees!"
"The trees can speak for themselves... One yelled at me for picking a plum..." said Oscar.
"Can we just play some connect four or something..." Bart groaned.
They continued down the board through the sappy land of sweets etc.
"Oompa Loompa doobity doo..." Oscar sang to himself and chuckling.
Bart frowned at him.