His legs carried him out of the forest, working on a different wavelength than his brain, expertly dodging rocks and zig-zagging eastward. Somewhere along the line he had stopped screaming and started breathing hard and fast. He did not know what he was running towards, but in time he found out as he cleared the edge of the forest and tumbled out near a road- a real, paved road! Wait, they had those here? And buildings! Buildings, too! Indignation burned in his heart, directed at the shopkeeper for not telling him, at himself for not realizing sooner, at the people of what he assumed must have been a tiny backwater for leaving no signs of their existence just half a mile from their dwellings. If there had been hiking trails, campsites- if there had been anything at all- he wouldn't have needed to go on an impromptu survivalist retreat. He kicked a rock in frustration. It didn't budge. It felt more like he was kicking himself.

Taking a second to let the rage brew inside him, he looked up and met the eyes of a human, a rather nondescript man, standing about 25 feet away like a deer in the headlights. Rob felt immediately self-conscious, righting himself, getting rid of the angsty scowl on his face, and scratching the back of his head right above where his neck used to be. The resident didn't move an inch. His pupils shook like coins after being flipped.

Rob raised his hand to wave awkwardly.

The guy twitched in an involuntary spasm and collapsed jerkily onto the ground, a look of terror still plastered on his face.

Sheesh, what the heck?

He turned for a moment just to check that nothing was behind him for the guy to have reacted to. Sure enough, there was nothing, at least nothing immediately obvious to him. Whatever had touched him in that cave had not yet reached him. Then why had the man-

Rob's eye fell on his own lower body. His wireframe foot, the static that gently scintillated all over his legs and arms, his mismatched hands, the hole straight through his torso. He had felt self-conscious before, sure, but now the feeling had magnified tenfold. With trepidation, he approached the guy and gave him a gentle poke. One of his eyes blinked frenetically and then closed again. Alive. That was good. Just a little shell-shocked...

"I'm a monster," Rob mumble-whispered to himself, a reminder of his place in this strange new world.

But, then again, there were monsters in the woods. Surely the people of this town saw them regularly. Even so, just the sight of him had caused this- this grown man- to keel over in shock! What kind of power was that? Had Rob's appearance been so freaky, so unexpected, so incomprehensible that any previous familiarity with monsters hadn't even been able to protect his fragile, fleshy brain from shorting out? Could that really be what was going on here? Was it a fluke, or- or-

"I'M A MONSTER!" he cackled, forgetting about his encounter in the woods and gently pushing the man over with one foot as a display of power. So this was how it felt to be feared! He hoped desperately that this reaction wasn't going to be a one-time thing, because he found, only partially to his surprise, that he relished it. There were so many possibilities. Could he walk into a bank, drop the teller with finger guns alone, and walk out with one of those giant sacks of cash with a dollar sign on it? Could he step into a diner (this thought was prompted by him catching sight of a diner not too far from where he was), announce his presence, and eat everything off of the unconscious patrons' plates? Could he walk into a bar and make some kind of quip about it?

Would the FBI be after him if he did either of those things? Were they after him right now? Would it even be the FBI, or was there a secret organization that just did paranormal stuff? He was paranormal stuff. What a rush! It was sometimes fun to be a regular criminal, but it was super fun to be a supernatural criminal, thought the boy with five minutes of experience as a supernatural criminal. Was making somebody pass out even a crime? He hoped so.

He laughed boisterously, unwilling to let anything ruin this moment, and reached up for the crowbar in his backpack, only for the moment to be ruined anyway against his will when he noticed it wasn't there. In the woods! He must have dropped it in the woods!

The woods... where that thing was after him.

He turned, gulped, and prepared to return for it, armed with only his knowledge of the way back to civilization. And then he heard humming- not animalistic humming, either, but a rendition of some slightly familiar song in a slightly familiar voice- and he saw a silhouette moving towards him through the trees. it- she- it couldn't have been her, but she stepped out into the sun, twirling the crowbar (his crowbar!) like a baton, still humming that same tune.

"Did you know you could totally be a metal singer? No, I'm serious, you screamed so loud stalactites fell! I'm thinking it could be a good career path for you if you ever decide being a monster isn't working out. No offense- is that offensive? If it is, I am so sorry, oh my gosh. But also-" she winked and whispered- "consider it."

Sarah G. Lato held out the crowbar to him and gave him a bright smile.

"You dropped this thing while you were running from me like you thought I was some kinda mo-"

"How?" He snatched it back.

"It was sort of just hanging out of your backpack, so I think gravity kicked in and you flailing around did the rest of the work."

"No! I mean, how are you here?"

"Oh!" she laughed heartily. "Yeah, that makes much more sense. I got a ride from this guy in a spoooooky van! It was only twenty bucks, and as luck would have it I just won twenty bucks in the ring, so I thought, why the heck not, y'know? I wouldn't have pegged you as the type to watch cartoons, Rob."

"The ring? Cartoons? Wait... you know my name?"

"Sure I know your name! I know lots of things," said Sarah, winking. Rob wasn't sure what the joke was. She clarified, "The enemy of my crush is my, uh, somebody I know about. No, wait, that doesn't sound right. The crush of my enemy is my friend! No. The person I know about of my friend is my- hold on. Okay, basically, what I'm trying to say is I know who you are because you're Gumball's nemesis! So cool. He talks about you all the time. Did you ever have a crush on him? Ah~ No, don't tell me, your face speaks louder than your mouth ever could."

For one thing, Rob thought, his mouth was on his face, and for another thing he was making a pretty neutral shocked-type expression. Whatever Sarah had in mind, convincing her against it seemed fruitless, though, so he just nodded. His eye met her right eye, because her left eye was covered. What was up with that eye patch? Now that he thought about it, she had never worn a hat before, either.

"What's with the getup?"

"Oh! You noticed, you sly dog." It was difficult not to notice. "I'm cosplaying!"

"Hm. Uh, cooool," Rob lied, "As who?"

Sarah let out the kind of laugh you'd give if somebody complimented your drawing of a whale as a kid when you were actually trying to draw a dolphin.

"As who? What, don't tell me you don't recognize it. It's iconic, Rob."

"Mr. Peanut? Doesn't he have a monocle and not an eye patch?"

She scoffed, gestured madly, and then sighed.

"Bill! I'm Bill."

"Bill from what?"

"From what?" She sputtered incoherently. "R-Rob, tell me you didn't just ask the guy to drop you off in some random dimension. Tell me you didn't just come here with no idea where here was."

"Look, could you stop being vague and just tell me what you're trying to get at, please?"

"Bill Cipher from Gravity Falls," said Sarah. "Any of that ring any bells for you?"

He had heard at least one of those names somewhere before, probably. Maybe.

"That's a cartoon, right...?" He hoped it was a cartoon after all so he didn't look even more idiotic than he felt.

"Uh, yeah."

She stared at him and gestured again. He shook his head, tilting it to one side. Suddenly, Sarah burst out laughing and wiped a tear from her eye.

"Oh, gosh," she chuckled, "You are seriously out of your depth, y'know that? I think it's endearing, don't worry. But-"

She placed a hand on his shoulder and he flinched at her cold, cold, touch. Ice cream. Of course.

"-from now on, you're listening to me, 'cause I am an expert. And together we're gonna make the most of it. Oh! Opposites attract, I love that! Love it. C'mon, Ron."

She grabbed his wrist and wrenched him back into the woods.

"It's Rob," he croaked.

"I know," Sarah said, "I've just always wanted to say that!"

He could have protested, but she wouldn't have listened, so he didn't.