21.
Everything about him is familiar yet different all at once. I recognize the broad set of his shoulders, his long legs and lean frame, but there's a deftness to his movements that wasn't there before. The gracefulness in which he glides across the floor is new.
It's a reminder that he's very different now.
But it doesn't matter. I still want him with every fiber of my being.
He's mere feet away from me. My fingers burn with the urge to reach out and touch him. But he's backed as far into the corner as he can get. It's obvious he doesn't want to be too close to me.
"You're here," I say, almost breathless, my heart racing.
The absence of sound—his utter stillness and absolute silence—is slightly unnerving.
Unable to stop myself, I slowly rise to my knees and inch closer to him.
"Stop," he says in a strangled grunt.
It's the first word I've heard him speak in months, and the sound of his voice sends an almost painful longing through my racing heart .
I acquiesce—reluctantly—and settle back onto the bed. "I'm sorry"
He lifts his hand into a shaft of light cast by a streetlight but curls it into a fist, quickly pulling it back.
"You won't hurt me," I repeat.
He huffs a derisive, almost angry laugh.
"You won't. Even … the way you are now, I know I'm safe with you."
"You're not," he says low and raspy. It's him, but it's … not. Even still, his rough but melodic voice melts over me. "I could kill you just by touching you."
"But you won't."
A long beat of silence stretches out between us before he replies, "Are you sure about that?"
Again, I rise up on my knees. "I've never been more sure about anything."
"You don't want me, Bella. Not like this."
"Like what? I—"
"Like a monster!" he shouts from the shadows.
I push away the momentary alarm his agitation causes and will my heart to slow.
"You're not a monster," I say softly.
He scoffs. "You have no idea what I've had to do. The things I—" A groan of irritation escapes him.
"I know you're here now. I know you were in our apartment last night while I was sleeping—defenseless … vulnerable—and you didn't hurt me. The only thing you could do to hurt me now is disappear."
My words hang between us.
Finally, he says, "I only came back to make sure you were okay. I couldn't just walk away without knowing. And now that I know you're both okay, I can go."
"What?" I scramble off the bed, getting tangled in the blankets as I try to get to him. "No, you—"
Instantly, he's there, holding my arms in his firm grasp. Panicked. Pleading. "Stop. For the love of God, please stop, Bella. I … I can't."
But before I can even open my mouth to respond, he's gone, once again leaving me cold and alone.