**Since FFN's email system isn't working, I doubt PMs would be of any use, so I'll take a minute to clarify a couple things here that have come up in reviews.
One, when Jasper sensed three vamps in the woods where Bella woke up, he was talking about James, Victoria, and Edward. Laurent isn't part of this story. And two, one reviewer mentioned that Edward took James out. No, Edward took out Victoria, leaving James as the one lurking.
Hope that clears it up a little!
23.
I can't stop the cascade of tears after Edward disappears through my window. My desperate calls begging him to come back go unanswered, and with every agonizing minute that passes, my hope fades.
Insistent knocks on my door send me scrambling to answer it. My addled mind conjures images of Edward returning. But when I wrench my door open, neither of the vampires on my welcome mat is the one I want to see.
My shoulders fall as fast as my heart plummets to my feet. "Come in," I rasp, defeated.
Alice steps in, wrapping an arm around my shoulders as Jasper follows us to the living room.
"Are you okay?" she asks.
"No, I'm really not. I thought …" I exhale a stuttered breath. "I don't know what I thought."
"I actually spoke to him," Jasper says. "Up on the roof."
I brighten at his words. "You did? What did he say? How was he?"
"He's very … conflicted." He pauses, looking conflicted himself. "I think he wants to be near you, but he also seems very determined to stay away. He truly believes he's protecting you, Bella."
Fresh tears gather in my eyes and I cross my arms over my chest, trying to physically hold myself together. "He's not coming back, is he?"
He exchanges a lengthy, meaningful glance with Alice then turns his gaze back to me. "No, not for a while. I'm sorry."
Days pass with no sign of Edward.
No more cracked-open windows, no more feelings of being watched or sensing him near.
No more sunflowers.
He truly meant it when he said he could go once he knew I was okay.
It feels like the early days after his disappearance all over again, and I can feel myself slipping back into depression. If it weren't for the baby, I'm not sure I'd even get out of bed. But the baby is coming in a few short months and, as Alice constantly reminds me, there's a lot to do to get ready for their arrival.
"You're measuring right on schedule," Doctor Jones says as she lays her little tape measure over my burgeoning belly. "Have you thought about taking the prenatal classes I suggested?"
Her question makes the smile slip from my face. The thought of going to childbirth and newborn classes by myself means I've accepted I'll be delivering alone, parenting alone, and I'm not quite ready to accept that.
"Not yet," I reply as she makes a note in my chart.
"Now is the time to schedule all those things." She closes my chart and smiles at me. "The next few months will fly by and your little one will be here before you know it."
The months do fly by. Every milestone in my pregnancy is another reminder of how much Edward is missing. But with every day that passes, I grow more resigned to the fact that I've lost my husband—in whatever form he's in.
It hurts, but I need to move forward.