1978
"Lily," Mrs Evans entreated, her brow furrowed in consternation, "I'm not entirely sure you understand, or are even willing to imbibe and reflect upon, the wisdom that I seek to impart."
"Oh, mum, please!" Lily cried, utterly frustrated with her mother's patronizing.
"It's not a question of love, darling," Mrs Evans said, "It's a question of will."
"What?" Lily asked.
"You forget that your love for James Potter is barely a year old," Mrs Evans reminded her.
"A year is way more than enough for me to tell if I love a man, mum," Lily scoffed.
"You're being carried away…" Mrs Evans started.
"No!" Lily cried indignantly, "Don't you dare accuse James of using some weird, twisted, magic to enslave me to his will. Nothing of the sort ever happened…"
Mrs Evans, nonplussed, interrupted her daughter mid-tirade, "I never accused the man of doing anything of the sort, Lily."
"Petunia did," Lily pointed out.
"I'm not Petunia," Mrs Evans said, "And I'm not your father either."
"Dad approves," Lily said at once, latching onto the lifeline her mother had inadvertently dangled in front of her, "He doesn't mind."
"Because he's a romantic, and believes in all that such rapid-fire romance entails," Mrs Evans said, "Lily, I speak from experience, rather than from the midst of a storm of hormones and youthful exuberance. You're not talking about a steady relationship anymore, Lily… you're holding conversations about marriage, for the love of all that is good and holy."
"That's just it, mum," Lily entreated, "I love James. I love, love, love him and – you will forgive this cliché – I cannot see myself living without him. He proposed, and I accepted – it's as simple as that."
"Not quite," Mrs Evans started, but Lily interrupted.
"What?" the younger redhead asked hotly, "What do you think James lacks that makes him less than an ideal husband for your daughter?"
"It's not a question of what he's lacking," Mrs Evans explained with an indulgent smile, "Nor is it, like I said earlier, a question of love, Lily. Consider this – you dated another boy… a Quidditch Beater, if I'm not wrong… in your fifth year…"
"Derrick," Lily gritted out, not quite seeing the relevance. Derrick and she had barely been on two dates, and had hardly even kissed.
"Yes, Derrick," Mrs Evans said, "He was a nice boy, wasn't he? Quite gifted at Charms, so you said yourself. A bit boring perhaps, but you shared some tastes. And other tastes differed, as… tastefully… as interests can differ, anyway."
"What's your point?" Lily interjected.
"Why don't you marry him?" the older redhead – albeit with quite a few grey hairs amongst the deep red – asked.
"What?" Lily said, taken aback by the absurdity of her mother's abrupt question, "That's… I don't even… what?"
"He's a nice boy. Was he lacking in some way?"
"I… no, he wasn't but… I don't even see what this has to do with anything…"
"So what's the difference between James and Derrick? Or are you drawn to James' popularity, his wealth, his standing among wizards and witches of repute?"
"What? No! I'm not drawn to James'… please, mother… I love James. I don't love Derrick. Never did, never will."
Mrs Evans shook her head. "That's exactly what I'm trying to tell you, Lily," she said, "The only thing that stands between a relationship with James, and a relationship with Derrick, for instance, is this flimsy emotion you call love. Worse, it's young love. It takes far, FAR more than just love to sustain a relationship, Lily."
Lily appeared to be stumped, so Mrs Evans took advantage of the momentary lull to continue.
"What you're experiencing, Lily, isn't quite the mature love brought on by experience and the firm knowledge of yourself and of your partner and of the world; it's the idealistic attraction that is spawned by – and please don't take offence at the words I'm going to use - youthful arrogance and the ignorant belief that you, and your partner, will forever be unchanged by the ravages of life and time itself. The world changes, Lily – and from what you tell me, your world is suffering through a war, for God's sake! Both you and James shall change, and with that, your mutual affection and regard for each other shall change too. The attraction of your youth – that never really earned the misnomer of 'love' – shall then vanish, and be replaced by resentment of the other's change, and perhaps even hostility."
Lily palmed her face in frustration. "Mum," she said at last, her teeth still gritted in frustration, "James and I are getting married. And that's the end of that. I'm not as disillusioned as you are right now, and I hope I never shall be that disillusioned. Love is more than enough an anchor for me."
"Fair enough," Mrs Evans said with a sigh, "Just remember my words, Lily – it takes far more than just attraction, or even love, to sustain a long-term relationship. It takes a fair amount of will, on part of everyone involved in the relationship – the will to stay together, and the will to exert yourself for each other, even when love is strained by circumstance. I can only hope you and James possess it in spades."
1981
"James, really?!" Lily screamed, "Really?! You're just going to leave the damn shirt on the ground?!"
"I'm going to do as I damn well please," James said hotly, "This is my house."
"It's my house as well!" Lily contested, "It became my damn house from the moment you made me Mrs. Potter!"
"Perhaps I shouldn't have," James said nonchalantly, "You can't even seem to lift up a damn shirt."
"It's your damn shirt, James. You can lift it up yourself."
"Isn't there more we should be worried about than who picks up a bloody shirt? We're living in the middle of a freaking Fidelius, and we've been forbidden from going out, and I can't even speak to Sirius, and Peter and Remus have been forbidden from contacting me…"
"You think the isolation hasn't taken its toll on me, James?" Lily asked, interrupting James' tirade, "You don't think the lack of contact with friends and family hasn't affected me? My mum's sick, James! I don't even know if she will make it… hell, I don't even know if she's alive now, dammit!"
"Well, go SEE her then!" James roared, "I can take care of my son myself!"
"How dare you," Lily said in a low voice, trembling with sheer rage, "How dare you make this a bloody crusade of self-pity…"
"This is ridiculous," James said abruptly, cutting her off, "Frank and Alice probably don't quarrel like this!"
"Oh, and I'm dying to know why that is," Lily said archly.
"Well, it's definitely not because Frank refuses to pick up a stupid shirt," James said, "It's probably because Alice is everything that you're not!"
Lily's face turned ashen. "Oh?" she asked in a soft, dangerously low voice, "And what am I not, exactly?"
"A wife who commiserates," James soldiered on, "And more. A wife who doesn't treat her husband like sh…"
"I see," Lily breathed. She continued, her voice growing louder with every passing syllable, "So that's how it is. This is apparently because I don't value you as much as you value yourself in that overblown head of yours. Because doing all the chores, cleaning up the house, and looking up each and every form of magic that can make us stronger isn't enough to show you that I CARE, IS IT?"
"Care for WHO?" James roared, "ME? OR YOURSELF?"
"I could ask the same question in return," Lily said softly, her voice breaking abruptly, "Don't you care for me, James? Don't you trust me to care for you? Do we still love each other?"
"Oh shut up," James said abruptly, and picked up his shirt from the recliner. He threw the shirt into the laundry bin, which promptly changed into a box that emitted a keening sound – indicating that his shirt would be washed promptly. "There," James said, turning to Lily, "Satisfied?"
Lily took a deep breath, trying to calm herself. "Fine," she gritted out, turned on her heel and stormed up the staircase.
Five minutes later, Lord Voldemort broke through the wards surrounding Godric's Hollow.
Present
Lily grabbed Harry's wrists and slammed them against the wall, pinning his hands above his head. She closed in for the kill, her lips landing on his for an incredibly hot kiss.
Lily sighed and leaned in as the kiss deepened and their tongues swirled – it felt absolutelyheavenlykissing Harry; and the primary reason was probably because Harry was anincrediblyreceptive lover. Helistened, and that made all the difference. He could practically sense, even in the early days of their newly kindled romance, how she responded to his touches and his affectionate caresses by the sounds she made, by how her hands wrapped around his, and hechangedaccordingly. And it made him an amazingly quick study – so much so, that Lily herself had been caught off-guard by his sheer prowess.
Her hands wrapped around his shirtless torso, trailed down to his incredibly cushy bum, which she just loved squeezing to her heart's content, and then around to his hard abdomen, and further southwards, down into his pants, fingers inching towardsthatpart… herweakness, her incredibly stiff, stout…
"Mmmmmfff!" Lily moaned into him, distracted by a well-timed flick of Harry's tongue, which thensweptout of her mouth, down her lips, and then to her neck, sweet kisses figurativelyscorchingagainst her skin.
"Ohhell, I should haveruinedyou ages ago," Lily sighed, as heteasedmoans and gasps from her, trailing calculated kisses almost instinctively along her sweet spots – spots that no other man had yet wormed out of her with suchskill. His hands squeezed and cupped her clothed breasts, pushing up ever so fiercely and thenpullingat her nipples ever so softly, withjustthe right amount of force that made her gowildwith arousal.
She wasn't lying. She should haveruinedHarry ages ago, made each and every part of hers familiar withhisweeks ago, but there had beensomethingthat made her hesitate – a bundle of somethings that had taken her quite a while to untangle. After all, did she trulyloveHarry? She thought she had known love a long time ago – and perhaps shewouldhave discovered the love she craved hadthatrelationship been allowed to last (not that she was convinced itwouldhave lasted) - but the satisfaction of knowing if that relationship was truly love or some sort of hasty commitment made of overzealous, but immature, affection, was brutally torn from her before things could come to a boil.
At the end of the day though, she did feel an entirelyprimalattraction towards Harry – an attraction that was brought about bymorethan something physical. It was attraction of adeepersort, a morelastingsort – practically unheard of – brought about by thetouchof his magic on hers. But was that trulyenough?
Lily sighed as Harry's lips parted from the valley where her neck met her shoulders. He looked up at her with a grin.
"I…" she breathed, and trembled at the step she was about to take – a next step, as it were, when it came to their… relationship. "I want… I wantmore."
Harry raised an eyebrow. Lily bent down, as Harry leant away from her, and hastily stepped out of her panties, her powerful legs working overtime to get rid of them. Harry gasped as he stared at her vagina – for what was probably the first time, for only hisfingershad truly "seen"her snatch before – and then looked into her eyes, as if he was making sure he had figured out what she wanted.
Sheurgedhim down with her hands, pressing on top of his head. She could barely wait – she wassoppingwet at the moment, with sheer anticipation of his dextrous tongue working over her, downthere.
But he resisted. The handsome young man kneeling down between her thighsdaredto resist. She groaned in frustration andpushedhim back, but he drew out of her grip with a laugh and laid a hot wet kiss on her left thigh,pushinghis face into her flesh and kneading her legseverso pleasurably with his hands. Lily moaned. And then he continued massaging her inner thighs, laying a teasing path down her core, only to withdrawjustas he reached thecentre, and resuming his sensual massage of her thighs with his mouth and hands.
"Harry,please," she gasped, "Ineedyou… Iwantyourtongue…"
But the ruthless dark-haired man persisted, despite her sinful entreaties, in his glorioustease, nippingrightat the juncture where her thighs met her midriff, drawing out a squeal from her mouth.
And then, ever so suddenly, a flurry of moans tumbled from her as his tongue drew a frenzied path around herouterlips,flickingover her clitoral hood.
"Such afuckingtease," Lily growled, and then gasped, "Don't keep your mother waiting, you naughty littlefuck."
And just like that, Harry slapped his hands onto her inner thighs andpulled, stretching her outer lips to expose herinnerquim, which wasslushingwith arousal at that moment. His mouth landed on her plum vagina and his tongueplungedin, drawing outshrieksof lust from her as shequiveredon her son'sface.
"Motherfucker," she moaned and pinched her own nipples in lustful frenzy, "Munchon mommy'scunt!"
His tongueburrowed, ittwisted, in anincredibledisplay of oral skill,twiningand teasing, his lips somehow managing to knead herclitamidst this show of dexterity. And then, he twisted his head, keeping his tongue rigidinsideher cunt andslappedher bum. She squealed and jumped forward, pushing them both onto the ground – she was nowsittingon his face, facing his legs. She twisted her legs around so that they were bent underneath her on either side of his head,crushinghis handsome face with her thighs.
"This is thebest," Lily groaned. Her tongue was practically lolling out of her mouth and her eyes were threatening to roll up. Her vaginal walls had begun to quiverrapidly– she wasprobablyapproaching the biggest orgasm she had ever had in herlife. "This is…oh yes… the…ooooooh… best…ungh…"
Harry's tongue stopped for afrustrating,heart-stoppingmoment. And then, it…flowed.
Harry blew his own previous oral dexterity out of the water as his tongue justcarveda path through her vagina with inhuman speed. Lily screamed at the top of her voice and the worldblurredto black as her eyes rolled up into her skull. She couldn't see. She couldn'tfeela thing except for his hands pulling at her nipples and his tonguedelvinginto andmouldingher inner walls with skill she was positivecouldn'tbe natural…shouldn'tbe natural, if only for her own sanity…
She stilled. Theworldturned to glass.
And theneverythingexploded.
"UUUUUUNNNNGGGGHHHH! YOU FUCKINGSNAKE!" Lily shrieked as shefloodedHarry's mouth with her ejaculate. Her body doubled over with the force of her orgasm, which just seemed to goonandon, a continuous stream oflovethatshoweredHarry with her affection. This was thebestorgasmever– practicallynothingthat came before compared tothis.
And then she felthim– histhing– poking into her face. Her eyes opened with bleary surprise as she realized she haddrapedherself over him at that point – they were both lying prone on the ground, with him beneath her. At some point, they had both slidoffthe loveseat and onto the floor, and she hadn't even realized it.
Shescreamedagain,rightover his enormouspenis, and to muffle her scream, barely even thinking, sheplungedher mouth down his turgidrod.
She choked,hard, and continued tocum, her entire bodyspasming.
Harry grunted into her vagina at the feel of his penis sheathing itself within his mother's helpless mouth, whichsqueezedaround his shaft in what Lily could onlyhopewas apleasantmanner. Shetriedto loosen her throat, andtriedto open her mouth wider, but his penis was enormous as it was, and there was no further space to be had.
And his tongue was at it again, inside her vagina. The samehissing, the sameflowing, the samequivering. Lily lost all sense of time again, ofplaceagain, and helplesslyslobberedover Harry's penis, which at this point hadlodgeditself in her screaming, spasmingthroat.
"MMMMNNNNGGGGHHHH!" Lily screamed on the fat cock inside her mouth as sheexploded, a second time, proving once and for all that lightningcanstrike twice if it were bestowed with the forked tongue of agod. Astreamof ejaculateshotoutwards from her spasming cunt – her thighs tightened andpushedeven as her snatchpulledaway off Harry's face and shehosedher juices all over him, even as she choked all over his cock.
And then she felt athrobfrom the meatstick inside her mouth, followed by a pulse she knew all too well. Harry was discharging hisowncum.
"I'm cumming," he gasped, and tapped the back of her head, as if expecting her to getoff. But she couldn't. Shewouldn't. Sheburiedhis fuckstickdeeperand choked as his cumsplurgedinto her mouth.
"Okay, this isnew," Harry gasped.
Harry moaned,loudly, as spurt after spurt of thick splooge flooded Lily's throat, and sheswallowed, sending Harry into glorious convulsions, much to her satisfaction, despite her own bleary-eyed awareness of the world at large. Still reeling from the force oftwoorgasms within the space of mere minutes, Lily managed tochokeon her son's penis andswallowthegallonsof cum that Harry's meat was in the habit ofhosingout.
At last, they bothstoppedcumming, Lily moaned on Harry's fat, but softening, cock and slumped over to the side, his penisploppingout of her mouth,coatedwith her saliva – she had swallowedallof his cum. They both panted.
"Okay, that wasincredible," Harry gasped, "I… you…swallowed… ohdamn… that wasawesome."
Lily choked out a laugh. "I think I'm too full for dinner now," she panted.
Lily took an entire quarter of an hour to recover, by which time Harry had already managed to prepare tea for her just the way she liked it.
And that quarter of an hour – amid her convulsions of pleasure, which mercifully petered out – gave her time enough tothink. About what she had just experienced. AboutHarry.
Her first instinct was envy. If she had any doubts before about whether she was Harry's first, all those doubts were washed away by theexpertiseof what Harry had just performed. He had done…allof that… before. And that sent her into a fit of vengeful jealousy, which she had to takesomeeffort to draw herself out of.
After all, it wasn't as ifshewas a blushing virgin either – she had apasttoo; nonetheless, she felt possessive. She felt like she wanted toskewerwhoever hadtaughtHarry the things he knew now.
And she was pretty certain she knew who it was. She had watched the girl closely, and she had figured it out from the furtive glances, from the occasional looks.
Cho Chang. The Ravenclawprude, apparently, according to the Hogwarts grapevine, but Lily knew better.
It wasn't exactly hard for Lily to surmise what had happened; the older girl, who already seemed to have a sort of crush on several boys at Hogwarts – includingherHarry – had probably thought it would be fun to fool around during summer, like several girls do, prompted, perhaps by peer pressure. Harry had probably arrived on the scene, and the two had probably experimented a bit. Which would probably explain Harry's skill.
Of course, if the twohadgone further… if Lily later found out that Cho bloody Chang had takenherHarry's virginity, there would behellto pay for.
Then again, Lily could domorethan compete with aflingHarry had with some meregirl. After all, Harry had promised her that his fling was over, and that there was no one else now.
And there hadbetternot be.
Because at the end of the day, sheneededHarry. The sex – or as much as they had gone downthatparticular road tohell– was heavenly. But so were the conversations Lily had with him. And so was hiscompany. This was the sort of match witches her agedreamedof.
So, really, what was stopping her from making a play for the whole package?
Ugh, she thought to herself, Stop over-analysing things, Lily, and just go with the flow.
But then again, you are sorta falling for him. Hard.
"So," Harry asked at last, as Lily sipped at her tea, "What broughtthison? Youpouncedon me as soon as I came in."
Lily giggled. "A lionessalwayspounces on her prey, Harry," she said happily. And then she lowered her voice a notch. "Besides, I so didnotlike the way thosegirlswere eyeing you."
Harry looked nonplussed. "Uh," he asked slowly, "What girls?"
Lily sighed. "For someone who manages to surprise me with his field awareness each time we duel," she said, "You sure are clueless. You're the HogwartsChampion, Harry. Those little girls were eyeing you up like a piece ofmeat. And I don't think I like that atall."
Harry grimaced. "Yeah well, being the Champion isn't all that great," he said.
Lily shrugged. "I did notice Ron sitting at the end of the table away from you guys," she prompted.
"Yeah," Harry said, "The guy said something ridiculous about me hogging the limelight… about mewantingto hog all the limelight and just stomped away to sit with Dean and Seamus."
"He's jealous," Lily said.
Harry looked at Lily. He opened his mouth as if he were about to launch into a defence of Ron's character, but stopped. "Hermione said the same thing," he said at last.
"He'll get over it, Harry," Lily said, "Which is not to say that Ron's behaviour can be excused; but a year from now, he'll be as ashamed of his behaviour as he should benow."
"I just…," Harry said, "I just miss his company, y'know? Hanging around with the rest of the gang is fun – Ginny seems a lot more willing to talk, Hermione's loosened up a bit, Luna's bonkers, but in a fun way, and Neville's the quiet, shy sort… but it's just not the same without Ron."
"Fair enough," said Lily, "Heisyour oldest friend, after all. And it probably smarts now, but it's notyourfault, Harry."
"Yeah," Harry said and then continued, grumpily, "On that note, I'm not really sure if my selection for the Triwizard Tournament is supposed to excite me or frighten me."
Lily laughed. "What?" she asked.
"It's just…," Harry said earnestly, and then looked around as if he was searching for the right words to describe his plight. "It's just that there's somuchriding on this… I didn't really think of any of this when I was dropping my name into the goblet."
"So whatwereyou thinking of?" Lily asked curiously.
"I guess the same things everyone was thinking of when they dropped their names in," Harry said with a sigh, "Glory. Fame. Riches."
"Why do you think Viktor Krum entered the tournament then?" Lily asked. She sighed internally – she was never really very good at motivational speeches. At the same time, she alwayswasgood at sussing out truths about people, or at prompting people toembracea truth. "He's already got most of what you cited – glory, fame, riches and all that."
"I don't know," Harry said in a thoughtful voice, "Maybe… maybe he wanted to prove that he was more than just a Quidditch star?"
"Perhaps," Lily said, "And from what I know of Fleur Delacour…"
Harry snorted. Lily looked at him questioningly.
He shrugged. "Nothing," he said quickly, "It's just that she was a bit erm…"
"Bitchy?" Lily ventured and giggled as she saw Harry flush. "That's fair," Lily continued, "But I had the opportunity to talk to her shortly after the Beauxbatons contingent's arrival at Hogwarts. It was… illuminating – she didn't seem to be all that up her own arse at all. In fact, she was quite eager to talk about Charms with me…"
"Wait," Harry said, "When did you even talk to her?"
"Like I said, shortly after the Arrival Ceremony," Lily said, "Madame Maxime asked for a bit of help in shoring up a few charms on the carriages, so Filius and I went over to help. A couple of Beauxbatons students pitched in as well, eager to learn – Fleur was one of them. She's quite a delightful conversationalist when she gets going."
Harry looked mighty sceptical at that, so Lily continued, "Anyway, my point was that Fleur Delacour isn'tquitein this tournament to bring glory to her name – well, there might be a whole lot of that adding to her motives – but I'm pretty suremostof her motives revolve around overcoming the bias against her… heritage, as it were."
"Heritage?" Harry asked, puzzled.
"Something I can identify with very well, I assure you," Lily said, and trailed off.
"Fleur is amuggleborn?" Harry asked, bewildered.
"Uh," Lily looked a bit uneasy, then said, "It's not for me to say - I don't think evenFleurregistered what she let slip – and her secrets are hers to reveal, Harry. But yes, at the end of the day, Fleur is in this tournament, toprovesomething to herself, in addition to the rest of the world."
"I'm not sure I follow," Harry said.
"Fear of taking part in a tournament of this stature is quite natural, Harry," Lily said, "The trick is – like the other champions – to focus on yourrealreason for taking part, rather than paying attention to whatothersexpect of you."
"Yeah, well," Harry snapped, "That only works if I was actuallythinkingof something when I put my name into the goblet."
"A man can't really stopthinking, Harry," Lily said, her eyes boring into Harry, "Isn't there an ideal you hold dear? Something you strive for?"
"If you're expecting me to say 'perfection' or 'power' or something equally corny…" Harry muttered.
Lily laughed. "Well, I'm sure I cangetyou to say something corny," Lily said with an airy voice, "Oh, wait, did I spell corny with an 'h'?"
Harry gagged, and then burst out laughing.
"Look," Lily continued in a serious voice, "Iknowthereisan ideal you strive for, Harry. It's why I find you… attractive. And Iknowwhat that ideal is – even if you don't, but I'm not going to spell it out for you. What is the thing you most cherish, Harry? What is it youreallywant, not just for yourself, but forothersaround you? What is it thatdrivesyou?"
"Drives…?" Harry asked, bewildered.
"What do youyearnfor, Harry? Why do you go out of your way to help those who are in trouble? Like Ginny Weasley in the Chamber of Secrets? Or was it just to win the appreciation of your friends?" Lily asked harshly.
"That… that was just… Ron's myfriend," Harry ventured.
"So your actions were merely to keep a friend? Is that it? Is this about expanding your influence? About holding on to it?"
"No!" Harry said quickly, "I… I…"
"What do you trulywant, Harry?" Lily asked.
Harry bent his head. Lily looked at the young man curiously, waiting to hearwhathe'd say. Eventually, Harry sighed and looked up at her. His green eyes were set in a sort of calm determination. Lily smiled.
"Freedom," Harry rasped, "It's… freedom."
She couldseethe fierce passion in his eyes – his entirelife, if what she had heard about his tenure at the Dursleys was true, was oriented towards achievingfreedom. From the Dursleys. For the wizarding world at large – it was whatdroveHarry, subconsciously, and sometimes,consciously.
"Bingo," Lily said, beaming. "And," she asked him, "How can you work towards freedom if you're not yet free fromfear, Harry?"
Harry smiled.
"The first, and perhaps the most important, step towards freedom…truefreedom, is…" Lily began, but Harry interrupted.
"Freedom fromfear," Harry said, "I get it."
"Then chin up, Harry," Lily said, "Forget about the others, abouttheirexpectations. Break free of them and face the tournament in your own right, to the best of your ability. That's all anyone can ask of you… but more importantly, that's all you can ask ofyourself."