12. BROKEN PEACE
-Can you explain that again, father? -she felt numb, not able to comprehend.
-The message arrived this morning, and it was on the road day and night. The Lannister fleet was torched down in Lannisport and the Greyjoys have claimed responsibility. They are rebelling against the Crown, and they started it punching up.
-So Tywin is not coming. -It wasn't a question- He will right a wrong, just like Brandon did.
-He won't be coming right now, he is not a temperamental boy, so he will not be under any unnecessary risk. But the wedding is to be postponed.
-And I suppose it has to be indefinitely?
-Unfortunately, my love.
She was not crying -yet- but she could only define what she felt as disheartened.
-He sent you a letter. -Lord Hoster finally placed the little package on her hands- And he has asked me to reassure you that he is going to do his very best to be here soon.
-Soon... -she whispered, staring at the folded paper on her hands and making her way back to her tower, not answering to anyone, decided that if she was to despair, she would do it alone.
On her bed chambers, she broke the red wax seal and unfolded a letter written at haste.
"My love, I do not wish you to unduly worry, as I know that is something you do very well. This is only a temporary impediment and is not more important than our union, but we need to control the situation soon, as it might have ways to escalate. Right now I am writing this from the Inn just past Ashmark, as I was making my way back to you. The Greyjoys found the perfect moment to set their little rebellion, with me and Kevan away from home and unable to do much about it but to get back. The fleet is mostly gone, the port is severely damaged, and the casualties are many. For the moment, I need you to be strong and to make sure that the Wedding is postponed for the time being. I know is not much time to undo all your hard work, but I cannot be sure when I can be back with you. I also need you to receive Maeryan, Kevan's wife and their little daughter, as we do not wish to bring them back as it might not be safe for them. They must be arriving not much long after you receive this. I beg you not to worry as I have no intention on putting myself in any risk. Think of this as some more time so you can prepare better to your new life. There's a lot more I wish to say to you, but it will have to wait. Just never forget or doubt that I love you, and all I wish in life is to be with you again. Tywin."
Catelyn still wasn't crying, because she had no time for that. She went after her father, resolute in the idea that this whole rebellion plot would be crushed soon. The Greyjoys were a tiny little House, infesting a tiny little nation and although they were vicious and cunning, they were no match for Tywin. And she knew that. She trusted that. And that was where her strength would lay.
-What can I do, father? -she asked, taking a seat on one of the desks at her father's office.
-You can start by taking care of yourself. -he protested.
-I am. -she promised- This is the list with all the invites that were sent. If you are to summon your Banners, I can rectify the invite and do that at the same time.
Hoster Tully stared at his child. She was a grown woman now; she wouldn't despair like before with the news of Brandon's death. She had a plan and a purpose, but if she needed his shoulder to cry on, it would be there. Right now, she needed to rule in Riverrun, as she had done that entire time.
By nightfall they had all the messages written, and now she was holding the seal Tywin had fashioned for her, and resting her head on the heal of that hand.
"This cannot be happening" -she thought, but unfortunately it was.
To undo a wedding is no harder than to organize one. It is, however, very painful. At her solar now, the group of ladies started to debate the best way to go about things. What to do with the hundreds of pheasants that had being slaughtered and were curing at this precise moment? The dozens of barrels of ale that were being brewed and would not last for moons? And what if people were already making their way there, like she suspected the Starks were?
-All the food we have that will not last for another couple moons, need to be sent to the fronts, to feed the soldiers. The same with the ale. -she decided simply- The ravens are flying and informing the interested parties that the Wedding will not be happening at the date it was set. I know my sister is on her way, but that does not mean much. She is coming home.
-The flowers that were bought might not survive for moons to come. -Lady Genna said, and she was the only one among them who had cried- They were not cut, but they might not be as nice as now.
-Then we will buy some more, different ones, when the time comes. -Catelyn would not allow for small things to upset her.
It all seemed so insignificant now. All those garments, jewellery, shoes and hair styles... All the worry with how to accommodate the hundreds of people that would make their way to Riverrun... None of it mattered now. It was amusing in a way, how they had agreed on a more private wedding, and ended up with hundreds of guests.
-My dress is done, my maiden cloak is also ready. The sugar decorations for the cake will last for years, the help hired can be re-hired. Everything is under control. We were organized, thorough; we had clear plans and a method. We can do this again, when the time comes.
"And time will come"
-Now, we need to brace ourselves. Our men will be marching into battle again, the bannermen will arrive soon, and father seems to believe that Robert will join the efforts to crush the Rebellion. My lord Tywin is well, he assured me this will not last long.
-Lannisport is destroyed. -Lady Genna said in a broken voice- The fleet is gone. They could have being there, during the attack.
-No. -Catelyn said, stopping her from continuing- Those slimy little squid people would not attack the den with a lion present.
And with that, she grabbed Enya by her hand and marched back to her chambers. There, they stared at each other for a moment, Catelyn's breath shallow and fast. Her eyes burning with tears and all the strength she had was now failing her. She cried on her friends embrace wondering if she was cursed with eternal maidenhood.
-You did well today. -Enya promised- Now you can rest and cry, and I will be here.
But less than a moon later, Enya was the one desperate. News of an attack in Seagard arrived without any word of how it had unfolded. Her father and brothers were there, and if they were to judge the odds based on how well the Greyjoys were doing, destroying every port in the western coast of Westeros, that was a very grim prospect.
No more than two days later, Catelyn was informed that Stark Banners had being spotted on the road, and her heart sunk. Of course Ned would come and help Robert, now completely invested on crushing the Rebellion. She run up the tower and saw their sign by herself on the road.
For most of that moon, she had Lysa there, barren and bitter, but there. And it was her who stopped Catelyn from running to the gates to receive Ned as she wished.
-Restrain yourself, sister. -Lysa held her arm, now that the gates were opening and admitting the men- You are surrounded by Lannisters, and they had made very clear that your relationship with the North is not acceptable.
But what wasn't acceptable was to be in her good-brother's presence and not hold him tight. Eddard had the largest smile when looking at her, dismounting his horse and taking her on his embrace. He smelled like she remembered, and when he put her feet back on the ground to look at her face, they both had tears on their eyes.
-Oh, for all the gods, aren't you a beautiful sight for sore eyes? -he said, pulling her back against his chest once more- My lovely Catelyn, the years were much kinder to you than they were to the rest of us.
-We have so much to talk... -she almost whispered- I have missed you so.
-You have no idea what Ash would have done to be here. -he finally remembered that Cat was now a bride and let go of her.
Lysa was there, looking at them in judgement. After being properly greeted, she was now the one holding Ned's arm and leading him inside the castle. Catelyn could see the silent stare her sister awarded her, like she was letting Cat know that she would make sure to keep them apart.
-What news do you have from Seagard? -he asked.
-Not much, my lord. -Lysa answered.
-Well, it was our first victory against the rebels. -he said, observing Catelyn take a hand to her chest.
-Is Lord Mallister alive? -she asked in a weak voice, thinking of Enya's painful tears, almost scared to find out.
-He is more than fine, he fought them off. The fortress is safe, and the Greyjoy's were the ones with more significant casualties. Balon Greyjoy lost his heir.
-Oh! -Catelyn felt weak in relief- I have to find Enya...
-Yes! -Lysa agreed- You go, give her the good news. Lord Stark will be properly accommodated.
-I am sorry, Ned. I will find you soon.
And run back into the castle, knowing exactly where to find her friend. She could see Enya sitting under the tree on the field of wild flowers. Next to her, the little grave on where they buried her newborn son that had never being named. She saw Catelyn coming on her direction, but hid her face to wipe away the tears.
-Oh! -Catelyn stopped, trying to catch her breath, holding her side- Oh, dearest... Ned brought news... Lord Jason is alive and well and Seagard is safe... -her breath was short, and she could barely appreciate Enya's reactions.
-Is that so?! -the other whimpered- I need to tell mother!
-No... -and Cat sat on the ground with her friend- I have sent word. You stay right there... -and laid her head on Enya's lap, still trying to breath normally- They are fine. Take a moment.
-Why are you not with Ned? -Enya was confused.
-Because you matter more. And also…Lysa. -and that was all she needed to say.
Since her sister's arrival, she had experienced an array of different feelings. At first, they couldn't be apart; they had so much to talk... Lysa had so much to tell about life in King's Landing, about how the Red Keep reacted with the news of Lord Tywin's engagement and how Queen Cersei, heavily pregnant, destroyed her bed chambers in rage. She also spoke about married life, especially married life with an older man, and was being generally a good sister.
By the end of the first week, all Catelyn wished was for her to go away, leave her alone, stop contradicting her orders to the servants, to find something nice to do quietly and away from her. A castle cannot be mastered by two ladies, and Lysa wanted to be one to rule, forgetting she was younger, only considering she was more experienced because she was the one married for a few years now.
-Lysa is not normal, Cat. -Edmure would say- Let her be, do not concern yourself.
But in this precise moment, that was not relevant. Enya needed her, and she could not stop worrying about her father, Tywin and Ned now marching into battle.
-Cat, you need to control Lysa. -Enya finally said, when her happy tears subsided- And you need to have a proper conversation with Ned.
-There's so much I need to do, so much that is expected of me, and so little I am capable to deal with. -she sounded as tired as she looked.
-I am very serious. Lysa is not the Lady of the Riverlands. She is barely the Lady of the Vale. What kind of experience she thinks she has? -Enya was clearly remembering the episode when, no more than a week prior, Lysa sat on their father's great chair and tried to hear and solve people's concerns.
-She is a very important woman right now. She is the wife of The Lord Hand, she is, theoretically, the Lady of the Vale, Lady Arryn...
-Yes, but... -Enya's pain was now turning into anger- What, when and how did she ever ruled? She behaves like she is much more experienced than you, and I have to agree. She might understand King's Landing and how to lay with a man more than you do. But that is the extent of it.
Catelyn was now laughing with everything in her. She could see that by Enya's expression, she hadn't tried to be amusing, but her rage making her say rude things were so unlike her that Cat could only have this reaction.
-Why are you so angry? -she asked, trying sit up and look at her friend.
-I do not know... -Enya said with a very deep breath- I am tired. We have being through so much...
-Do not worry, my love... -Catelyn hugged her friend- Not about me or Lysa's behaviour... Right now, we need to find your mother and celebrate that your family is safe. And later, I will make sure to have a good talk with Ned.
But the talk seemed to be the first thing on the list, as Ned and Edmure were coming on their direction. Ned was laughing and Edmure seemed very excited telling him about some of his boyish news. The ladies also saw how their behaviour changed when Saera, looking like some deity, run after them, grabbing Edmure by the arm and joining on whatever was the conversation. Catelyn was starting to suspect that they knew about being promised to each other, but she could not be sure.
-Enya, Lady Serena is looking for you, but she refuses to come here. -Saera was the first one to talk- And I am so Happy Lord Jason is well...
-Thank you, my sweet... -Enya left the ground, with Ned's help, who took a second to ask her how she was.
-I would go back with you, but I wish to keep Lord Edmure some company, as we look for the beehive... -Saera explained, observing Enya and Catelyn exchange a silent suspicious look.
-By yourselves? -Catelyn was the one frowning.
-Well, we thought that with you and Ned here, watching us... -Edmure tried to argue- We will not touch the hive, we just wish to locate it, do not worry...
-Where is Janei? -Catelyn now felt like her septa, making sure the youngsters had all the supervision possible.
-Oh, no! I beg you... -Saera was the one protesting- I cannot deal with the children anymore!
-Very well... -Catelyn finally decided to allow the little excursion- Both of you, promise me you will always be at sight and that you will be careful. -she demanded.
-Don't worry, sister... -Edmure had now a different spring on his walk- And you also do not need to worry, Lady Saera. I will protect you.
The little couple was far enough so they could suppress their laugh and not be heard by the youngsters. Enya said her goodbyes and made her way back to the castle, and Ned just allowed himself to sink on the ground next to Cat, almost lying down completely with his head resting on a large root.
-Is this Everard's baby? -he asked, noting that Catelyn had being pulling little weeds from around the stone.
-Yes, it is... -Catelyn answered- He was a gorgeous little boy.
Eddard extended his hand, over her, and placed it on the stone for a moment, in recognition.
-This is Enya's special place. -Catelyn continued.
-It is rather peaceful. -he crossed his fingers over his chest and closed his eyes for a moment.
Looking at him, in a warm afternoon in Riverrun, with the sounds of the Trident, the sweet smell of the meadow and a young couple in the distance trying to spend time together away from the adults... She felt like she was in a memory, however now, they were the grown-ups.
-Are we old, Ned? -she asked, making him laugh quietly with his eyes still closed.
-I am. -he said- Fatherhood aged me twenty years in two.
-Ashara makes them sound like the most precious children...
-They are. -he smiled- You will soon find out for yourself. They become your entire world and soon your bed becomes their bed. In a moment they are upset because you stopped them from running into the frozen lake, and in the other they cuddle you with their little arms and ask for a nap. And when you start to believe that your heart could not be fuller, you now have a tiny little girl that somehow is more wilful than her brothers. Ella stood up and walked the day before I left home. She still doesn't have one year of her name.
-I cannot wait to meet them. -Catelyn said.
-This will be over soon, and I will bring Ashara south, down to Dorne. Take her home, allow the children to know this side of their kind. -his expression changed and he took a deep breath, his eyes still closed- I am so tired, Cat.
-You should be in bed, resting... -she started to protest.
-No... -he reached for her hand and kept it between his, resting on his chest- This is exactly what I need right now. Peace and quiet, a friend to listen to my troubles and to tell me hers. -he looked at her and opened his trademark sad smile.
-What do you wish to share?
-At first, Benjen is to wed Keira Karstark. -he laughed at Catelyn's surprised expression- She arrived in Winterfell and informed him that would be something she'd be willing to do. He had a choice, and he had being considering the Night's Watch very seriously. Before I left, he asked me for permission and I agreed. He is to ask her father, but I think the old man already knows.
-Keira... -Catelyn had always known she had feelings for someone in the North. Letters would come and go often, and at first she thought it was her family. -So she was writing to Ben this entire time!
-And he was writing her back. This has being going on for years. They had a fall out, and Ben started with this idea of heading to the True North, saying he needed a purpose... Well, the Wall was no longer a subject when she arrived. Ashara begged Keira not to leave Winterfell, to keep her company. At the time, she did not know that Keira was there for Ben.
Catelyn still couldn't believe, and Ned kept laughing at her astonished expression.
-Is Edmure to wed lady Saera? -he asked- Because he believes so.
-I have arranged it during the Tournament. -Catelyn explained- Saera's mother is Lady Genna Lannister. I mean, Frey. Her father, right after the war, asked me to take her as a lady-in-waiting. She was two and ten. To settle it all, I have informed her father about Edmure's clear feelings, and that Saera is set on the idea of marrying him.
-Sometimes the stars do align.
-And, being aware of my concerns, Tywin made sure that Saera will come with me to the Rock, despite her mother's protests. Keeping them apart for a while, as you can see... -she pointed at the little couple sitting on a stone bench and watching the river, holding hands and talking with their heads very close to each other- To keep them apart until is time to wed them is the best course of action here.
-What about you? -he asked, staring at her inquisitively but with a smile- How did this happen?
-What happen? -she tried to deflect, but she knew her face was blushing.
-Father used to say that Tywin Lannister was not a nice man. Except to his wife.
-I have heard the same.
-If he can love you as they claim he loved his late wife, I have no reason to worry. But if you are walking into the lion's den to birth an heir and be caged in gold, I might have to do something about it.
-What would you do? -she could tell he was only half jesting.
-Do you love him?
-I believe so. I am not sure it started as love, but it was certainly visceral. Addictive.
-And now, being apart for a couple moons?
-I miss him so badly that it aches. -she said- Every raven that arrives with his handwriting on takes away my breath, and I read his words melting inside. You are the happily married one, you tell me. Am I in love?
His expression sobered.
-We were stupid children, Catelyn. -he said, saddened and looking away from her- We lived a long and beautiful summer. We loved and allowed ourselves to dream. Circumstances made us our own masters... But we were not ready and none of it was fair.
-Oh, Eddard... -she frowned in worry at his pained words.
-There are days where I wonder what would have being... Sometimes, when Ashara is unhappy, isolated, feeling as a stranger in the North... I wonder if I was fair to her. If she really knew what life in Winterfell would mean.
-She made her choices.
-Yes, however I wonder... Should we have followed tradition? You and I? Should we have married each other?
-No, do not say that... -she begged- Ned, you and Ashara were so madly in love... And I was so desperately in grief...
-You prepared yourself for years. You knew the North, you accepted and embraced it...
-We cannot know if I would have being as happy as you think. We cannot know if you would be any happier with me. -Catelyn took a deep breath- Four years ago, you and Ashara married under a Heart Tree. That was the happiest I have ever seen you. Your father and brother were dead, but she made you glow. Yes, I did have the same doubts. I did wonder if I would ever marry, if you were my happiness, if my home had just being taken by a goddess from Dorne. I was, however, being bitter and jealous. Grief stricken. You love Ash, Ned. And she loves you.
-Yes, the passion was there. -he looked defeated- But passion fades. And any other affection there was... I fear that the North might have extinguished it.
-I am so sorry, Ned... But you vowed to be hers for the rest of your days. To love and to keep. And that is what you have to do.
-I do not know how.
-You have said yourself. Take her home. Benjen and Keira will keep Winterfell if you need. Promise her, with the intent of fulfilling said promise, that she is not a prisoner. Live life with her, show her beautiful things. Allow your children to swim in a warm ocean, to walk in sand that is not frozen. Do that for yourself as well.
-Do you believe I can fix this?
-I believe you have to try.
They kept silence for a while, lost on their thoughts and observing Saera head now resting on Edmure's shoulder.
-You need to swear to me that you know what you are doing. -he begged- That Tywin Lannister is who you really thinks he is.
-We love each other, Ned. -she said- More than just the best possible prospect in Westeros, he is the first man to make me remember that I am, actually, a woman.
-I believe it. -he said simply- If a woman was to make that man love again, that woman is you.
-But also, you must know… This isn't just about love.
-Well, we will revisit that in the years to come... When you, the maiden who could have married any man, see yourself as Tywin Lannister's wife, nursing his cubs, away from home. And I can see, my love... -he held her face- I can see that you will honour that man with your entire being.
-And you, brother... -he covered his hand with hers- You are to do the same. You deserve happiness and joy, and the warmth of a woman that loves you. And that is your wife, Ned. Fix this. Make it better. We will meet again, and then I hope that these doubts are forever gone.