15. OF BLOOD AND HONOUR
Supper had being an odd endeavour, surrounded by Lannisters and having to navigate the novelty of having Catelyn being engaged to one of them. Enya and her mother were really happy that night, with the news of Lord Jason being alive and well. Ned knew a lot more about the battle, and he was made to tell it all, for Edmure's excitement.
Lady Maeryan, Lord Kevan's wife, was a lovely woman, also from Dorne. And she was really interested in meeting Ashara. Now, understanding that Catelyn would be The Lady of the West -a position she was fulfilling since Joanna's death- she was very keen on preparing her for said obligations. Catelyn was relieved that all those Lannister women witnessed how fraternal was her relationship with Ned, even under the light of the doubts expressed that afternoon. It was also very comforting that Edmure behaved just as attached to Ned as Catelyn. Lysa, on the other hand, was being as unbearable as ever.
Eddard left before sunrise on the next morning. And that afternoon, all hell broke loose on Riverrun.
-Lysa, what are you doing? -Catelyn had being called on the great hall by the Meister, who was increasingly concerned about how rowdy the crowd was becoming.
-What you should be doing. -she said, barely looking at her sister, sitting on their father's great chair.
On the hall, the crowd was not engaging. A dozen of people remained waiting on the galleries, not coming forward. Lysa, frustrated, started calling people and growing upset at their reluctant behaviour.
-It is far too early. -Catelyn said- It has just gone noon.
-Father is usually here in the morning.
-I am not father. -Catelyn tried her best to remain calm- They are not expecting me for another couple hours.
-And why are they here now? -she challenged
-Because I see them in the order they arrive.
-That's ridiculous! What if there's highborn folk in the gallery?
-They would have set a time to see me in the morning. -Catelyn's patience was dwindling- Leave the chair, no one will approach you for ruling. They barely accept uncle Brynden in father's absence.
-But they accept you?
-They could have accepted you, if during the war you had cared enough to at least be present. Now, you will smile, stand up, give me your arm and walk with me back to the residency. Meister Hoth, please make sure that the arrival order is respected. I will return in an hour.
Lysa, looking like she had being slapped, did as Catelyn said. Her anger just gaining momentum as they entered the Residency. She pulled away from her sister.
-Stop humiliating yourself, Lysa. This does not need to be this way.
-Which way? -Lysa's blue eyes stared at her sister in a dangerous gaze- The way how is had always being? The way where you have it all?
She was now openly shouting. Loud enough to alert the entire Residency. Catelyn tried to ask for calm, but Lysa had lost all control.
-You are not a queen! -Lysa stated, making her sister wonder when she had ever suggested such a thing- Do not dare command me! I am the Lady of the Vale, and as far as in yet, you might still end up as a barren ghost within this castle walls!
They had guards around, but that just made thing more volatile. Catelyn had Lannister men at her service, but Lysa had Arryn men that she would not stop in case of a conflict. And in the midst of it all, the Tully guard did not know how to proceed.
-No blade is to be drawn! -Catelyn commanded, arms open and eyes staring at the confused men crowding around them- Lysa, control yourself at once!
-Are you going to make me? -she challenged- I dare you try! That's right! -she said, seeing that Catelyn would not move- You won't! What else would you take from me?
-I never...
-Do not deny! -Lysa's scream cut through the stillness of the fortress, where all those knights held their breath in anticipation of a battle- You take everything! Your greed trumps any reason! Are you incapable of mercy?
-Sister, we shan't be on these terms...
-Oh no?
They were surrounded by more than just guards now. Catelyn could see that the galleries were taken by pretty much everyone in the castle, watching that spectacle. Lysa's face was as red as her hair, her eyes were bloodshot and her hands grabbed fistfuls of her dress, like she would rip the fabric any moment now.
-Couldn't I have married Eddard? -Lysa whispered- Couldn't the tradition have contemplated me?
-Sister...
-You had everything I ever wanted, and more than once you sent it away. -tears now washing her face- Petyr would have died for you. Eddard would have happily married you, despite his dornish woman. And all that you left me was a broken womb and a man old enough that his seed does not suffice.
Catelyn saw as the Arryn men exchanged confused looks, and how people on the galleries started to whisper among themselves. Lysa, however, seemed completely unaware of their audience.
-And do not tell me you were keeping me from the winter. -Lysa's pain was almost too hard to watch- The Eyre is frozen anyways.
-Lysa, please... Let's talk with some privacy...
-He offered to take you, didn't he? To save you?
-I have no need for saving.
-To run away, to spare you from the lustful old man...
-Do not speak of Tywin. -Catelyn tone now was sharp.
-And you are doing this by your own accord! -Lysa's laugh was dead and empty- If you wanted an old cock, you could have taken Jon's!
A wave of shocked remarks swept the galleries, and Catelyn was pretty sure that there was no way of fixing that now. Her sister now completely forgetting the circumstances of her wedding, how her Lord Husband had saved her from further humiliation. The fair, loyal, good man who was now having his name dragged on the mud by the one who should respect him the most.
-You could have spared me. You could have cared for me.
-Lysa, please...
-Take her.
Edmure was now there, arriving from behind Catelyn, commanding the Tully guard. He stared at Lysa in absolute disgust, and when his order was not obeyed, he repeated himself. His voice so similar to their father's it was uncanny.
-Take her!
Lysa seemed to be finished, now looking at her siblings like they were the ones in the wrong. The Tully guard stepped closer, but Lysa did not flinch, expecting her Lord Husband's guard to act. But they didn't. Not after her words.
-Escort her to her chambers, please. -Catelyn pleaded, looking at the Arryn sworn swords- Everything will be fine, sister.
-No. It will not. -Edmure looked a lot taller right now, a lot more like a man than the little boy she cared for with all her love- You are not to leave your chambers if you cannot behave like a Tully. And do not dare sit at my chair ever again.
Before Catelyn could see Lysa move, Enya was there, in front of her, taking her away among the crowd, not allowing any space for any discussion. They had almost run down the hallway and up the stairs to Catelyn's tower.
-What have just happened...? -Catelyn was trembling, covering her face with her hands- What was that all about?
-Lysa's eternal jealousy. -Enya said plainly- Do not torture yourself. She did that all on her own.
-Is she that unhappy? -Catelyn's tears were rolling freely- Does she hates me that much?
-She hates herself. Don't... -Enya begged, cradling her friend on her arms- Please... Stop crying.
-Edmure…?
-He is being the Lord of this castle right now, do not concern yourself too much...
-He is just a little boy, Enya...
-He is a man now. Catelyn, pull yourself together. -it sounded like the command Catelyn needed.
She stared at her friend and decided that Enya was reason at the moment, and wiped away her tears. Slowly they made their way into the chambers, Catelyn still trying to regain her breath.
-What happens now?
-Nothing. -Enya responded- We do nothing. And tonight, we hold court as always. There's nothing to be done, not even contacting Lord Hoster.
-It cannot be remedied. -Catelyn agreed in a small voice.
-No. We all heard it. Let's pray her Lord Husband forgives this.
Not a word was spoken about Lysa's outburst. Supper was served at the main ballroom, as every night. The Lannister women present seemed like they wished to discuss it, but Catelyn was sure that Serena Mallister warned them otherwise. Thankfully, Edmure was able to create conversation, based on a book many of them had already read, but he had just finished. For a moment, it was like the spectacle had never taken place.
At dawn, Catelyn was woken up by a Lannister guard.
-Lady Lysa has left.
-What? -still half asleep, Catelyn struggled with the concept- Left? How?
-She is already on the road. The Arryn guard is with her, her servants as well.
-Why wasn't I woken up before? -she was growing angry.
-Because lady Lysa was not a prisoner and she did not wish to alert the castle. I am only here because she has done something that went undiscovered until now.
The man was now too weary to carry on. Catelyn stared at him, as she commanded him to continue, but he was not finding his words.
-She took a horse. Lord Edmure's wild stallion.
-Storm... -Catelyn's jaw dropped, wondering if the reason she was being woken up was to break the news to her brother.
-She has also... -the man interrupted himself, looking down.
-What?
-Your wild horse, my lady... Hm... She...
Catelyn did not need to hear anything else. She runs all the way to the stables, under a light rain that was staring to pour. She knew the guards were following her, but she could not tell if her face was wet with rain or with the sign of her anxiety. The sun was not fully out yet, but the stable workers were all there. She could see the trail of blood coming out of Spirit's bay, and she was now soaking wet.
-Lady Catelyn, no... -Reuben, the stable master stopped her from continuing- Please, you do not wish to see it.
-Will he be fine? -she knew she was sobbing- Is he alive?
-I am so sorry, child... -the man held her by her arms, and allowed her to cry- Do not traumatize yourself further... -his voice was also broken- We will take care of it all...
-No. -she broke loose from his grip and invaded the bay.
She had not expected to scream like that. Whoever killed her horse, as she doubted Lysa would have the strength to do the damage she was observing, did a botched job. Multiple blows of an axe, she could tell. With the fatal one being the one on his spine, where the axe head was still embedded.
-No, no, no, no... -she lost her strength and tried hold Spirit, like when he was no bigger than a dear- Oh, gods, why? Oh, please...
She was covered in blood, rain and her knees were deep in manure. She knew she sounded like a wounded animal, but she could not bear it.
-Oh, baby boy, I am so sorry... You did not deserve this... I love you so much...
When Edmure arrived, people expected him to bring her some solace. However, he had just succumbed on the floor next to his sister and quietly sobbed with her. Enya, as the only hope, were brought to the stables, and she was the only one capable of taking the Tully siblings out of the filthy ground. She was also crying, but she was handling the situation accordingly. They made their way back to the castle, under pouring and thunderous rain.
-Prepare a hot bath for each of them. -she ordered the maids- And send for the meister.
The trail of blood followed them into the Residency, and Catelyn concluded that her shifts were ruined. The woollen robe was also meant for the burner. Enya helped her taking off the garments and led her into the large copper bath.
-Why, Enya? -Catelyn asked with her voice stolen by the screams
-I don't know, my love. -she responded- Because Lysa is abnormal.
-I do not care if they rip Storm from underneath her, but he is to be retrieved. -it was an order- Send enough guards, but do not let Edmure leave.
-Will you be fine on your own? -Enya asked, tentatively.
-I have to. Please, go.
When she left, Catelyn returned to sobbing, feeling the lost, her old companion, crippling back into her heart. Her first thought was to think of a way to write to Tywin, who had grown somewhat attached to Spirit once he realized that Catelyn would fight to keep her horse. Simmering in that steaming water, she felt so lonely, so sad. The blood had made her remember well too vividly of the days during the war, when men's blood would taint her and death would be ever so present.
She wanted for her father, her uncle, Tywin. She wanted for a hug, to be cuddled in bed, to be comforted and to someone else to worry about the problems of the realm. She wanted to know that they were all safe and that she would not lose anyone else.
Her maids approached her after a while, and helped to clear her from the signs of the tragedy. She was dressed in a warm robe and taken back to her bed chambers, where the meister awaited.
-I feel like I have lost a friend. -she whispered, receiving a little chalice from the man's hands.
-You did, child. -the meister acknowledged it- Now you need to mourn properly.
No one expected Catelyn's sadness to last as long. Storm was retrieved, but he knew something terrible had happened. Maybe even witnessed it. Edmure would keep him away from the site. Almost guilty for still having his horse, he vowed to find her a proper replacement, when he knew all too well it was not possible.
-It was just a horse! -Lady Genna said in one occasion, but Catelyn's wrath was such she would not dare say it again.
The news of the Rebellion were, at least, somewhat soothing. The siege of Pyke was ongoing and after the Battle in Seagard there were no more significant defeats for Robert. The west coast was destroyed, and it would take time to rebuild the ports and fleets. But it truly seemed like the ordeal was nearing its end.
What was completely lacking was any type of communication from Tywin. And at first, Cat didn't mind it as much, understanding that things were complicated, but when she received news of him through other people and not by his own words, she started to feel the bother. And with weeks passing, she wouldn't be able to lie that she was undeniably hurt.
Lord Hoster and Lord Brynden arrived back in Riverrun over two moons since they left, with some issues of the Rebellion still in need of sorting and the siege still undergoing. The Tully function at this point was to recruit builders, willing to settle in the West coast for a good while, what did not seem to pose any issue.
They did not expect, however, to arrive at home and find that much had changed, and for the worse.
-Oh, my sweet little girl... -he hugged his daughter- What have Lysa done to you?
She was already accepting the loss, but she still had a long way to go before offering any forgiveness. Her father was very supportive, loving, offering his arms for her to cry on, and he even promised her a new stallion.
-No. -she said plainly- Spirit is not to be replaced.
-You will need a good horse, on par with your requirements... -the man argued- A fast, steady horse. Reliable, strong.
-We have good horses on the stables. -she declared- Do not worry. Tell me about the troubles.
-Oh, there are no troubles left, dear. Robert and Ned will break Pyke any time now. The news from the affected strongholds are positive. Seagard is already fully operative. Lannisport, however... -his expression darkened- There's much to do.
-How is Tywin? -she finally asked, sick with the absence of any word from him.
-He is well, all things considered. -Lord Hoster took a deep breath- I am not sure if we should talk about this now, but I am increasingly worried about it all.
-I might have some concerns of my own, but I would like to hear you first.
Her father seemed to debate if he should say the words, but ultimately he decided in favour of it, taking a deep breath and starting.
-The man that fell madly in love with you during the spam of week, the one who would lay under the oak with his head on your lap, who was visibly distraught when leaving you for a couple moons... That man does not take hostages. People fear him. They truly fear him. I feared him.
-Is no surprise, we know the song. -Catelyn knew all too well about his extreme ways when dealing with the enemy.
-Is different when you witness it. So I worry, as you are not well.
-I am perfectly fine, father. -she tried to deflect.
-Catelyn, you are traumatized. Have being since the war. -Lord Hoster was the image of sadness- You cannot bare violence. You have filled the cells with thieves because you will not apply punishment. And you will marry the man we all had to stop from burning Pyke to the ground, for what they did to Lannisport. And the only thing able to stop him was you. He only reconsidered when his brother said that you would not look at him the same if he caused that practical genocide.
-So... Explain it to me. -she asked, realizing that whatever her father was to say, could change her entire predicament- Are you advising me to break the engagement, because Tywin Lannister is behaving like he always did? Because he cares about what I think, and stopped himself from being inhumane to prevent any issues between us?
-I do not know. You tell me.
-Oh father... -she sunk her head onto her hands, too exhausted to function- It is too late for these talks.
-Why?
-Because I love him! -it was the answer every single person in Riverrun already knew- I cannot avoid it, or pretend it was a feverish dream... I do not even care about a wedding anymore.
-You will have a proper wedding, young lady. Your honour is already exceedingly tarnished.
-How so?
Lord Hoster did not wish for those conversations, but Catelyn was no longer a child and if the rumours were true, he would not be surprised. Or mind, to some extent.
-Eddard has told me. In fact, I am pretty sure Tywin have heard of this, and it might explain his distance.
-Eddard told you what? That he regrets marrying Ashara? That things are rough and that sometimes he wishes to run away?
-No. He told me that Brandon took your maidenhood.
-Excuse me? -she was shocked- This is not true.
-It is in the North. Brandon bragged about it, and with the North being rather unhappy with your affianced, mouths are speaking ill of you.
-I am sorry, but... -she felt her head spinning, trying to think why would Brandon ever say such a thing- Father, we never... No!
-I believe you. But Ned has known this for years as the truth. And he would still have married you.
-Father, please... -Catelyn was more tired than she had ever felt- If Ned spoke with you of the same doubts he spoke with me, I beg you not to go there. I will not entertain it.
-Is too late, in any case. I would be much happier giving you up to a good man, however.
-You were very happy with my engagement to Tywin. What changed?
-Have you heard from him? From his own words? I do not believe that you understand this, my love, but your engagement might already be over based on these rumours alone. Tywin Lannister is a proud man, he would not settle for a used woman.
-Except I am not a used woman! -she was enraged now- I have never laid with a man, not Petyr, nor Brandon. And Tywin knows about our limits. I am much more upset about Eddard not stopping this gossip, than with Tywin for believing it.
-You know that Ned wouldn't allow your name to be dragged into a gutter. But there was only so much he could do. People that had always known this information as true, found the opportunity to hurt you and Tywin at the same time. I expect you to know that many people expected you to marry a northern lord. Benjen's name was brought up a few times.
-This is ridiculous.
-Indeed, but it is what we are dealing with now. Maybe a good bet would be for you to be examined by a meister, to attest your maidenhood.
-I will do no such a thing! -she was offended now- I am the Lady of the Riverlands and I will not prove my worth to anyone. If Tywin is brooding over this, if this is keeping him from me, than it is his loss.
And she stormed out, leaving her father to his own thoughts.
-Damn it, Tywin! -she cursed- You could have just bloody asked!
She had no doubts she would marry him, that she would forgive this and they would move on from there. But she was starting to fear he had doubts and that his ego would be bruised over this. That he would be reconsidering the entire engagement. And if needed be, she would let him take what was already his, so he would know she was his and his alone. She just hoped to not have to go to such lengths.
She still wanted to surrender herself to her husband, on their wedding night. She dreamed of his hands undressing her, baring her, exploring her. She dreamed of his body, his smell, his warmth. Even more so now that she knew what pleasure really was. She wanted to share that with him as her husband, go all the way, love him completely. But if she needed to give up on that to soothe his worries, so be it.