16. A CLAIM NOT HIS
-What should I do? –Catelyn asked her friend, hiding with her under the red oak on that cold afternoon- How should I act? Should I send him a letter? Should I wait?
Enya's expression was an enigma on itself.
-When was the last time you heard of him? –she asked.
-Almost a moon ago he sent me a letter, explaining where things stood with the Rebellion, and instructed me to start sending personal belongings to the West, even with the troubles. That indicated to me that he was anxious to have me settled. He had also mentioned that maybe the wedding would be the small affair I had wished for, as this is no time for prolonged preparations. After this letter, I sent him a reply, agreeing with everything.
-And that was after Ned's departure?
-The correspondence stopped once the Northern Army joined them. He heard Brandon's poison and believed it. –she was hurt, teary, scared.
Enya could see the humiliation and the defeat on her friend's eyes. She wouldn't lie, that had not been the first time she had heard about that rumour. Everard, her late husband, had commented that on the few days they spent together before their wedding. The grief for Lord Rickard and Brandon was really intense at that point, and even with Enya denying that such intimacy ever happened between Catelyn and Brandon, Everard didn't wish to believe. For the northern folk it was a beautiful thing. And her refusal to marry probably reinforced that belief, especially with her northern guard.
-A bride of the North. –Enya whispered, lost on her own thoughts and memories- This is all just heartbreak…
-The only heart being broken is mine, Enya… -she cried.
-I know, my love. –Enya wrapped her arms around Catelyn, trying to soothe her.
-Why would he believe it? After everything?
-Because it is easy.
-What do I do? –she was bordering desperation.
-Listen to me… -Enya held her face, deciding that she needed to be the clarity Catelyn was lacking- The Rebellion is ending, those issues will not seem so daunting in times of peace.
-Father says that he cannot see this wedding happening anytime soon. Even if Tywin and I were in good terms, he cannot leave the West.
-And you won't go? –Enya asked tentatively.
-No. Not when he believes me to be a lying whore.
She cried some more, curled up on the furs with her head on Enya's lap. Catelyn couldn't see hope and Enya couldn't stop thinking how ironic it was that they were ever so worried about the Queen and Lysa spreading their venom… when the real stung came from beyond the grave.
Cersei's attempts to infiltrate Riverrun were almost comical. She had tried to send Meister Hoth to war, with the excuse of him being Ironborn, and bringing the letter with the orders, she sent an apprentice to take his place.
Catelyn had interrogated the poor man, who, to his best defence, tried his best to remain loyal "to the crown". She would not resort to violence, but she threatened him with torture, and based on her rage, the man would not risk his limbs. He confessed to everything he was told to do, in the Meister's absence. And it was not supposed to end up very well for Catelyn. The poison was hidden in a false pocket on the man's leather sac. He would be kept on the dungeons from then on, and no mentions of it were to be made to anyone outside the family.
Lord Hoster wanted to execute the man, Lord Brynden wanted to do it with his own hands. Catelyn would not tolerate the violence on her name, however, she would handle the man to Tywin, to prove to him what his daughter was willing to do. Catelyn was unaffected by an assassination attempt, but her heart was shattered with rumours against her honour.
That night, Enya was summoned to Lord Hoster's solar. There, she found the Tully brothers and Lady Genna, and judging by their expressions, news didn't seemed to be good.
-Is Catelyn feeling better? –Lord Hoster asked.
-How could she? –Enya retorted, once more being harsher on her judgement of him, as she believed he was failing to protect her. Why didn't he obliterate those rumours when he had the chance? Why didn't he make Ned control his men?
-She's refusing to be in anyone's presence, but you. People are starting to talk. Her heartbreak is becoming increasingly obvious. –he continued.
-Do you have any news for her? –Enya asked, a raised eyebrow, scouting the room, where a silent Brynden Tully remained staring through the window, and Lady Genna just seemed to be defeated.
-Indeed. –the man answered, indicating a chair so Enya could sit. He offered her wine, which she declined- The queen has giving birth to a prince. They are both very well. –Enya kept her gaze on him, not understanding how that could be of any real relevance to her friend's current state- She has requested Saera, to be part of Prince Joffrey's court.
Lady Genna's expression now made sense. She had being struggling with the concept of parting with Saera for a while now, only settling on the idea of having her in Casterly Rock because she would be around. It had been a struggle for all those years Saera spent in Riverrun, and that had been one of the few times Lord Emmon's will prevailed.
-How does she know? –Enya asked- How does Queen Cersei knows of Catelyn's plans on marrying Saera to Edmure?
-We are not sure. –Lord Hoster answered, looking away from Lady Genna, now delicately drying a tear- But it cannot be good. Especially not after the plot with the Meister.
-Now that the conflicts seem to be under control, Maeryan have decided to return home. –she finally spoke- I will be joining her, and I will take Saera with me.
-To Casterly Rock? –Enya was confused- And the queen is supposedly to be ignored?
-I will not send my daughter there. Tywin has to fix this.
-Tywin has to fix many things. –the rage returning to her words- What about Catelyn? Or the wedding? Is that what I am here for? To find out she has been cast aside due to a baseless rumour?
-The engagement isn't dissolved. –Lord Hoster answered- Lord Tywin is making his way here, despite everything.
-Despite what? –Enya inquired- You cannot be implying that…
-Enya, we know! –Lady Genna blurted out- We know this is false, that Catelyn is innocent and haven't dishonoured herself. We all know it very well.
-And aware of all this, why are you allowing him to think this way?
-I am not allowing anything! –the lady defended herself- I did what I could for her, but now I must do whatever it takes for my daughter.
-And what do you require of me? –Enya addressed the rest of them.
-You must prepare her. –Lord Hoster said- He will marry her and take her to Casterly Rock. There's not much time to lose. He cannot be away for long. There is a war ongoing, and we are busy and there's no time for Catelyn to lick her wounds.
Enya felt the punch on her gut, hearing Lord Hoster's words. That man always said that Catelyn was his whole entire heart, and she always acted in a way to please him and make him proud. At great personal expense, she allowed him to rebuild his relationship with the riverlanders. She raised her brother to be her father's image. She was prepared to never leave her family or her people. And now, when she needed his protection, the Lannister gold blinded him.
-Very well, my Lord. –she answered- And how do you suggest me to do that?
-Enya… -Lord Brynden finally spoke- I understand your rage, because I share it. You know I would kill for her, and that this wedding is far from what I hoped for her. But they love each other, despite everything.
-He would not entertain this prospect if love wasn't involved. –Lady Genna added- He might have believed sour words against her, but if he's making his way here, is only because she matters greatly to him.
-Either that, or this wedding is too important to both Houses.
-So, let me see if I understand it properly... -Kevan frowned staring at his brother, after finally being reunited with him after a couple moons, dealing with the Greyjoys- You are taking drunken gossip to heart?
-You know I had my suspicions.
-And I believed that we had agreed on this not being relevant, even if is true.
-This is widely known in the North.
-This is widely gossiped in the North! How can you be missing the gist of this? This people finally have something to hurt both of you with! If this was to hold any weight, wouldn't they be more reluctant to marry her, as many of them tried?
Tywin took a sip of his wine and looked out of the window. They were on their way to Riverrun, no more than half a day on the road away. Tywin knew everything that had occurred there, involving Lysa Arryn, the dead horse, Eddard Stark's visit... He was not sure if he could rely on Genna for information, so he made sure to keep a guard responsible for it.
-She suffered more for a horse than for me being away in battle and our wedding being postponed.
-Maeryan told me something completely different. –Kevan retorted_ The horse was the last straw. Catelyn is under extreme stress, on a constant basis. The same stress you endure when having to rule, except you are two and forty and she has just turned twenty.
-I do not know how she feels. -Tywin said- After over three moons apart, has the novelty worn out?
-It sounds like for you it might have. -Emmon Frey was not the one to speak, but now he had found his voice- You do not know Lady Cat. You believe you do. But you don't.
-Enlighten me, then!
-Brandon Stark was a filthy man. The polar opposite of Eddard, I will tell you this much. He sired a bastard, ruined a girl's life. He lain with many servants and boasted about the ones he hadn't touched. It was not past him to share lies, if it would make him look better. If Lady Cat is no longer a maiden, than I would blame you rather than a dead man. And quite frankly... How does this matter?
-It clearly matters to me. And telling me that it should not be of concern is not helping.
-I am not saying that it is impossible for Brandon to be telling the truth, but the timeline of this is not the most credible. We can go over it if you think it might help. –Lord Emmon was a quiet man, but his Lady Genna had written him with her heart breaking due to the situation in Riverrun, making sure to detail why she believed those claims were baseless, and never having seen Tywin in such a state he decided to intrude.
Tywin debated for a second if he really wanted to dissect it, but at this precise instant, knowing he would see her the next day, feeling very conflicted about it, he decided to ask Emmon for his input.
-Growing up, Lady Catelyn was very close to Petyr Baelish, but he crossed the line and started to believe that he had any chance with her, and all of this only grew after the betrothal getting more and more solid. Some drama unfolded when her sister laid with the Baelish boy, who, in a state of drunkenness, believed he had just taken Catelyn's maidenhood, and empowered by that challenged Brandon to a duel. The rest I believe we all know, and the boy's life was spared but he was almost fully gutted. After he was banished from Riverrun, it was found that Lysa had been impregnated by him, and although that was taken care of, the girls good name was being put to test. But he never bulged and probably still claim he took Catelyn's honour instead of her sister's. He was obsessed. I would not be surprised if Brandon Stark started to claim the same, spreading that he was the one to lay with his future wife, as it would be more acceptable to the rest of the North to deal with that. After what Baelish did, both girls became almost secluded. Lysa as a punishment and Catelyn to protect her name.
-So, two different men claim to have lain with my bride, and that is supposed to make me feel better?
-Wait. -Emmon almost rolled his eyes- After this, with the girls pretty much hidden away, the next large event Catelyn attended was the Harrenhall Tournament. If anything was to happen between them, it needed to be at the Tournament. And it was on the Tournament that the war basically started. I do not believe that Brandon Stark would have had the time to spread such novelty among his men, with Lyanna missing.
-What you are saying is that by your understanding, you would more easily believe that both men lied instead of believing that she dishonoured herself in any way?
-Absolutely. She had never given anyone any reason to doubt her word. Both men, however, did.
-I understand why you are conflicted, brother. You allowed this to eat you alive for a whole moon. It kept you away from your lady, and made you overly suspicious. The question here is: will you give up on her because of this? Truth or not?
-No. -Tywin replied after a moment of contemplation.
Bothered by being in the wrong, Tywin abandoned his supper and retreated to bed. He hadn't written to Catelyn in weeks, since the rumour reached him. He still felt like his heart would give in every time he thought of her. He had also not sent her direct word of his eminent arrival, and part of him wondered if she wouldn't be better on her own.
It was true, Kevan and Emmon were right. It did not matter if she had experienced intimacy before. It was sad that the one awarded with her maidenhood was an undeserving man. He knew, by his own experience, she was able to give in. But the lady he held on his arms was very different from the girl who would wed Brandon Stark.
They arrived in Riverrun before noon, and made their way through town towards the castle. He fully expected her to be by the gates, but she was the only one that was not there.
Kevan held Maeryan, who seemed very teary and worried for him. Genna was cuddled on Emmon's embrace, and soon Saera was there, also claiming some affection. Tywin observed the little Janei run from inside the castle, directly to her father's arms, and Kevan looked happier than he had being in moons, lifting his little girl from the ground and making her giggle with his unshaven chin. Next to him, Genna, who had grown very fond of her husband, was holding his face on her hands, making sure that he was well and hugging him tightly.
Tywin, however, was there by himself. But also, what did he expected? Enya came from inside the castle and smiled broadly to him, what seemed to be the first real sign of personal acknowledgment he had there.
-Lord Hoster is out of town with Lord Brynden and Edmure. -she said, taking him by the arm- They have being recruiting the builders. And we didn't expected you for another couple of days.
-Yes. -he agreed, not really finding a way to engage.
-Catelyn awaits you on her solar.
-Why is she not here? -he asked, trying very hard not to sound upset.
-Why don't you ask her? –Enya's sweetness and polite ways had waivered.
She guided him to Catelyn's Tower, somewhere he hadn't being before. She indicated the large double doors, guarded by two Tully men and was fast to disappear. Uncertain of how to proceed, Tywin approached the doors, and the men silently opened them.
He saw her leaning against a desk, her hands placed at her sides. She had an empty expression on her face and awaited his entrance. The doors shutting behind him. Tywin felt like, based on her expression, crossing the solar and taking her on his arms was not the right thing to do. Catelyn, not even before the engagement, had ever being this guarded.
-Lord Tywin... -she said simply, in acknowledgement of his presence.
-My lady. -he responded- How have you fared?
-I've had better times. -she said, still not moving from where she stood- I haven't heard from you for the best part of a moon.
So there it was. She was displeased, and she would not hesitate on letting him know right away. Him, Tywin Lannister, the man whose presence would intimidate the entirety of Westeros, was now at her will. Catelyn, as breathtakingly beautiful as she looked, also had an almost dangerous appearance. She was there, casually leaning against her desk, on her private solar, a window open allowing light to seep through and set her hair ablaze, the airy yellow dress flowing in the light breeze... But the little dagger he gifted her on her nameday was now being worn in a golden belt around her waist. The necklace, however, was not at sight.
-It was a chaotic time. -he said after assessing his situation.
-Don't you dare insult my intelligence. -now she had some emotion on her face, but unfortunately it was anger- During the worst of it, I heard from you multiple times.
-The worst of it is now, as you well know.
-I am not the woman to beg for attention. I will also never be the one to respond well to mistreatment.
-I have not, and I would never, mistreat you! -Tywin did not believe she had suggested that.
-I will be the judge of that. -and she sounded final, a red eyebrow was now raised- The receiving end decides how it feels. How would you have felt?
He knew she could not reach him by raven, as he was rarely at the same place for more than a couple days, and he wondered if she had tried, but realized that she probably did. The letter sent via Eddard Stark was the last effective direct communication they had exchanged, and she had being ever so loving on her words.
-Catelyn, I don't know what you wish me to say. -he gave up on trying navigating around it and decided to just take it. She was right, he was wrong. To try and bend that his way would just infuriate her further and that would not help at all. She was painfully aware of her own reason.
-I wish you to tell me the truth. -she demanded, her tone very similar to the one she used on the great hall, when dealing with realm disputes- Are you having doubts? Regretting it?
-No. -and Tywin knew that was just partially truth, as her maidenhood was still a sore spot- I am here, as you can see. To marry you.
-With the same certainty you had when you left?
-Yes. -he took a deep breath- Catelyn, I did not know what to do. -he remembered that expressing calculated vulnerability with her always brought the desired results- I was away, plagued with problems. Suppressing the Rebellion was tricky business without a fleet. So much is destroyed, so much of our home... Our realm. And I believed you were safe, but your sister lost her mind. And I know you needed support and that I should have being that support. For a moment I could not deal with anything else, and your father promised you would be fine.
-One raven, Tywin... One. -he would have to try harder.
-I am deeply sorry, Catelyn. I am not a perfect man, and if this is what you expect from me, perfection is the one thing I cannot offer you. -he saw her resolute expression cracking and seized his opportunity- My darling... -the distance between them no longer existed now, and he had her face on his hands- Nothing changed. -he promised staring into her sparkling blue eyes- Things were complicated for a while, but nothing, absolutely nothing changed.
-I have missed you. -she said, with burning anger on her voice.
-I assure you that you have also being sorely missed... -he embraced her, kissing her face, knowing that she was right and that was his job to mend it, and any jab to his pride would have to be remedied later - I know I have hurt you. I am sorry. Truly.
Catelyn stared at him bravely, her little chin quivering and her arms finally giving up and holding him back.
-I am so sorry... -he repeated, kissing her face, breathing in the sweet smell of her hair- I love you.
-I thought I was losing you... -she chocked, trying to hold on the tears- Nothing else mattered, but having you home safe. And then I couldn't hear from you...
-I am sorry. -he said once more, kissing her on the lips- I am here... -he tightened his grip around her- We will not be apart anymore.
-Do you promise? -she was now crying
-I swear. -he cuddled her the best he could- I would not bear part with you again.
Tywin felt the guilt bite his innards. She was not well. How could he have being so oblivious and selfish? She cried very quietly on his embrace, and he felt his heart bleed. What happened to her? He tried to remember if he ever had Catelyn on his arms for that long without being riddled with lascivious thoughts, but all she inspired on him now was the need to protect and soothe her.
-I will never leave you, darling... -he promised, holding her very tight and rocking her lightly.
-I thought you had changed your mind. -she said.
-Never. I was having a difficult time, and I know you had your fair share of issues here. I am sorry I was not much comfort.
-Well, at least you are home now.
Yes. Yes, he was home, because home was where she was. Catelyn was too beautiful, too special. He loved her, and any trace of doubt was gone. He longed for this moment during all those complicated months, in the midst of a rebellion, with the torched skeletons of his precious fleet blocking the bay. His bed was larger and colder than it had ever being.
-You are right. -he said, holding her face with one hand and keeping her tightly against him with the other- This, right here... -he pressed their foreheads together- This is home.
-I love you. -she finally said, and Tywin smiled, satisfied it was over- Never make me be this mad at you again... -she begged- It is awfully conflicting.
He laughed for a brief moment, and kissed her, feeling her soft lips against his, and noted she shyly opened the passage for a more intense contact. There was no urgency. Their kisses were slow, and now more intimate and bonding than they had ever being. More so than the ones they shared when he left.
She was sitting on the top of her desk, and he was nested between her legs. Neither of them would be able to explain how it had happened, but that was how they were. Her modesty preserved by many layers of yellow silk, and his breeches were not trying to contain any erection, as right now, this closeness and intimacy had absolutely no sexual tension involved. It was soft, easy, comforting.
-Answer me something... -she asked, staring at him.
-Yes?
-If you were to be having any doubt, if you had any questions, if something was to bother you... You would talk to me, right? You wouldn't disrespect our bond and arrive in odd conclusions without including me on your worries, would you?
She knew. She had heard something and she was ready to clarify it. And she had just presented it in such a way that whatever his response was, it would either be a lie or an admission of him mistrusting her.
-It is not the time to worry about anything other than us, darling. We are finally together, and I have missed you so much. -he deflected, kissing her neck.
-Tywin? -her expression did not leave any room to escape it. She was not amused, and he only wished to be the man Kevan had expected him to be and not cared about her virginity at all.
-Some rumours circulated on the camps during the rebellion. About you and Brandon Stark.
-I see. -she stared at him- And did it bother you?
-It would be a lie to say otherwise. In all fairness, you would also be upset if hearing about my intimate moments with anyone else.
-You are a man. The world is much more forgiving with male indiscretions. And I can hardly brood about your past, as you have been married before; to a woman you loved dearly. Is not my place to challenge your past. Is not your place to challenge mine.
-So, there's merit to said rumours? -he prodded, ready to finally clear that out of his mind.
-Would my word be enough to soothe your worries? Would you completely trust me?
-Yes. -he said, knowing it to be true, knowing she would not lie.
-And if you didn't like the answer, how would that affect us?
-It wouldn't. It does not matter. It did, when I was away. But it bears no weight with you being in my arms.
-Would that be the reason why you shielded yourself from me? You were conflicted about my maidenhood and decided to keep your distance? Maybe considering end it all?
-I never considered ending it.
-But you also didn't consider writing me, asking me?
-I did. But as I said, it does not matter.
-Good. Because I am a maiden, and I would have told you otherwise. That night, in the gardens, when you proposed.
He couldn't help but to feel relieved, and he hugged her breathing more easily for a moment. Catelyn caressed his face, kissing his lips and he felt the weight of the weeks of being uncomfortable lifting from his heart.
-I am yours, Tywin. Only yours.
-I know. -he promised, his chest inflating with his ego being caressed- I love you.
-I love you too. I am glad that we clarified this, as I was fully ready to prove it to you the only way I know how.
Tywin could scarcely believe that she had just said that. That right now, a few steps away from her bed chambers, she was prepared to give herself to him to soothe his worries. Right now, as they stood there.
-Had I known that previously, I would have played the doubtful. -she laughed, cuddling up on his embrace.
-I want us to share this as husband and wife. I dream of it. But I would have given it up to make you at ease.
-This is... -words evaded him, and he could only think on how much he loved her, how special she managed to make everything, how magical was to be back at Riverrun with her in his arms, and peace restored around them.
He knew she would, and he also knew she carefully controlled their levels of intimacy. Catelyn was very loving and intense, but she had always kept her clothes on and her skirts down, even when his fingers played her song so skilfully. The contrast between the assertive Lady of Riverrun and Catelyn as an unmarried maiden was a stark one. She would allow him to touch her, she would hold him and kiss him while he massaged himself to orgasm, but she also protected something as sacred as her maidenhood for the moment they could consummate their love.
-Do you wish to have some rest? You have being traveling.
Truth be told, he had not slept properly in a couple days. Now, on her arms, he was finally settling onto himself. He probably looked tired, because he was.
-I am resting. -he said, concluding he wasn't ready to let go of her yet.
-No... -she whispered, kissing his neck- No, you need to be tucked in bed, refreshed after a bath, and satisfied after a nice lunch. It is already being prepared, maybe even served on your chambers.
-You seem eager to send me away... -he protested.
-I am coming with you, my lord. I must make sure you are well cared for.
She took him by the hand, and conducted him out the solar, back through the double doors to the winding passage. They climbed down one flight of stairs, and she took him onto the hallway, towards another set of double doors, very similar to the ones to her apartments. Two Lannister guards, which he had left for her protection, mirrored the guards upstairs.
-I see no reason why you should be placed at the South Wing again, as it is holding many guests at the moment. -she explained, leading him to the solar, that was very different from her's.
Catelyn had an office. Her desk was clean and empty, with the exception of a vase with flowers and a pad for writing. A large bookcase on the wall held boxes of files, books that could have being journals, and very well organized collection of inks and quills. The windows faced the forest beyond the river. Everything was nicely decorated, and had a predominantly blush colour on its elements, like a velvet chase that faced a fireplace made of polished white stone. An archway showed a sitting room, and across that, another set of double doors probably led to her bedchambers.
This place, however, was much plainer. A round table with six chairs, indicating they would have meals there, occupied what upstairs was her office. The archway led to a corridor, with some doors, indicating the existence of multiple rooms, one of them was a bath house, as the smell of aromatic oils in water vapour denounced. At the end of the corridor, was his room. It was smaller than the one in the south wing, but considering it was in a tower, it was still spacious and airy. The bed had a tall headboard and it was covered with dark red linens. It was beautifully decorated. His luggage was already there. She did not enter the bed chamber, and he only noticed it after he had examined the place. Leaning on the frame of the door, she was observing him with a smile.
-I might be the Lady of Riverrun, but I will not enter my betrothed's bed chambers after missing him this much.
-Right. -he smiled and walked back to her- So that is as far as your modesty will take you?
-It would not be safe. -she said, not flinching when his hand held her waist
-I would not cross your boundaries.
-Not on your own, but you know we are very well capable of crossing said boundaries together.
-I do not wish for anyone to doubt my lady's honour.
-I do not care about what people think. About what the Faith expects. I only care about what you think.
-I think you are the most beautiful creature I have ever seen, and I would gladly repeat what we have done the night before I left.
And there it was. The tightening of his balls, the fluttering on his chest, the urge on his lower abdomen. He took her for a kiss, intense and passionate, dangerous as they were so close to a bed.
-There's servants all around... -she whispered with bruised lips, but still did not move away. Instead, she planted a kiss on his neck and undid a couple buttons on his surcoat.
-Please... -he begged, control evading his senses as his thumb was very near to contouring her breast.
-I have missed you... I have missed this... -she said and Tywin was sure she had everything under control, but her advances always made him feel powerful.
-My love, I beg you... -he pleaded, at the same time his kisses were now traveling down her neck into her cleavage.
-I must leave you now...
-Please... -he begged, not knowing what he wanted, completely undone, surrendered to her will.
-You know we would struggle to stop. -she finally established some distance between them.
Her breath was also shorter and her eyes were darker, with bruised lips and messy hair. Her dress was not as pristine as usual and she looked like she ached to jump back on his embrace, but couldn't. She had never looked as beautiful as now.
-Yes... We can wait…
-Gods willing. -she smiled.
-We will discuss the wedding later. -he said, wondering how soon was soon enough.
-I am ready for you. I have been ready for a long time.
-Very well.
-I will see you at supper. -she said and slowly walked away from him.
-Catelyn... -he didn't know if he had anything to say, but she was leaving him with one hand leaning against the wall, and the other pressing his masculinity down.
-You might want to take care of that before super…
And with that, she left.
-Oh, you wicked woman... -but instead of mad he was amused.
He had truly missed her, but all was well now. As she had said, he was home.