18. LEAP OF FAITH.
Catelyn woke up with the news of her father's eminent arrival, and rapidly readied herself to start the day. The knowledge Tywin was resting just a flight of stairs away from her was rather pleasing, and she made a larger effort to look her best.
Enya was also looking much more put together today. She usually wore dark colours, as she believed it favoured her own. But today she had a blush coloured linen gown on, embroidered with pearls. Very different from Catelyn's dresses, but very beautiful nonetheless. Her hair was always worn down, unbraided and very straight, and today it was no different.
-I see you are all set on enticing Lord Westerling. -Catelyn commented, with her maid brushing her hair.
-Well, I must say... Lord Tywin did exceed himself with this one. The man has everything I find endearing on a male, and the fact he is also a widower makes my own tragedy less relevant. This almost allows me to ignore some of the past and face this prospect from an even perspective. And the fact he doesn't know about this just makes it much more interesting.
-I am glad you are having fun.
-And I see that you are wearing one of your new dresses, made on Casterly Rock's style.
-I see no reason to not indulge my lord. He is always very observant of my attires; I am sure he will like this one. Besides, so much of my belongings are in Casterly Rock that my options are resumed to what the dressmaker produced these past few weeks.
She placed the little golden lion on her chest, and stood up, observing herself on the mirror. The coral coloured dress was made in heavy silk over satin, and had a very simple floral embroidery. It had a plunged neckline, not too deep, but deep enough to make things interesting. It had a tear shaped cut out on the back, showing skin she usually didn't have exposed. Her hair, perfectly wavy, would cover most of that.
Both women left the chambers, arm-in-arm, and made their way towards the main solar. Breakfast was being served on large tables in the garden, with the day looking particularly nice today.
-My lady, you have some ruling this morning. -Meister Hoth informed her- Nothing major, might be all over before your father arrive, and for the afternoon I will make sure that no petty grievances are brought up, and your attention will only be necessary if I am unable to fix it by myself.
-I appreciate, Meister. Things will get busier now, with a wedding to prepare again, granted much smaller than before.
-I am sure your Lord Father will lighten your burden, as we cannot count with you remaining here much longer.
-Indeed. -she agreed and smiled- Neither me or Enya, so I am afraid you will have to make do with our good old governess.
In the garden, Catelyn noted the absence of her betrothed. But his Steward was present, and already having a good chat with Lord Kevan.
-Good morning! -she said, drawing the attention of both men towards them, and she could see how Lord Kevan was still very much interested in Enya.
-Oh, my lovely new sister! -he stood up, and took a moment to give Catelyn a kiss on her forehead, as he hadn't seeing her upon his arrival in the previous day- Isn't it astonishing how beautiful they both are? -he asked the poor Lord Rowan, who now had Enya sitting next to him.
Kevan Lannister was a particularly nice man. He had the softeness his brother lacked, and gentle kind of beauty that many women found irresistible. His wife, lady Maeryan, after having borne 5 children to him, remained as beautiful and youthful as a maiden, with her olive skin and brown hair. His firstborn was a girl they called Jeyne, in honour of his Lady Mother. She was now married with Wylman Redwine. Tytos followed her, close in age, being considered her twin. Lancel now served his Queen. Wyllem, who now should have been ten in age, died in his infancy. Finally, Janei, about to turn six, the most beautiful and sweet little lady. Many would argue that he had it all, and Catelyn knew that Tywin believed his brother to be truly blessed.
-We do not wish to intrude... -Enya said with her very shinning smile- We are clearly up too early.
-Oh, nuisance my lady! Is a pleasure to be in your presence again. Both of you! -he was clearly happy with the sight of them, and made Catelyn sit next to him.
-And Lady Maeryan? -Catelyn asked.
-Asleep. I also don't expect neither Genna nor Emmon any time soon. Even Tywin seem to be enjoying some very well deserved rest. You will discover soon enough that Tywin does not sleep well at all.
-I am sure he must have too much on his mind at all times.
-I hope not, my lady. -Lord Westerling said- That would make me very bad at my job.
-Oh, I am sure you are brilliant! -Catelyn smiled to the man, allowing the maids to serve her with fresh hot tea- Tywin speaks very highly of you.
-Rowan is more than just a Steward! -Kevan proceeded- He is a friend. Well trusted and well liked.
Catelyn could see Enya's strategy, and it was clearly working. She kept a mysterious silence, quietly sipping her tea, looking away into the fields. Lord Kevan, who could barely help himself when on her presence, was the one to highlight her and Catelyn could see, just as it happened, Lord Rowan's interest sparkle.
-I must say, you are both looking better than ever. -he continued- Lady Enya, you finally seem to have broken your mourning.
-Oh... -Enya smiled- I suppose one and twenty is too young of an age to exist in everlasting grief.
-I am sorry, my lady. I hadn't known you were in mourning. -Lord Westerling was clearly shocked, having interacted with her the day before without acknowledging her loss.
-I believe that I will always be in mourning. My son is buried there. -she indicated the meadow, and with that, the man could not take his eyes of her.
What a mystery she looked! The man certainly did not know she was a widow, even less that she had lost a son. Catelyn knew, by Tywin's account, that Lord Westerling had lost his wife to suicide, drowned, after a series of miscarriages. She sewn stones in the hem of her skirts and walked into the Sunset Sea. Knowing she had killed herself was already a shock, but knowing she took time to go the extra steps made it much worse.
-I would like to pay my respects, my lady. -Lord Westerling said, and she gave him a sad smile.
Catelyn could see that Kevan was about to suggest that they all should go, but she very discreetly held his hand, and silenced him.
-It is a beautiful day to visit him. -Enya agreed.
Kevan was visibly not happy when he stared at Catelyn like she had betrayed him. He quickly finished eating, and made his way back to the castle, and Catelyn, bothered by his insolence, followed him, and asked for a turn around the gardens. He couldn't deny, and offered her his arm.
-If you ever had any intention on making Enya your mistress, let it be known that I would be damned before allowing it. You have a lovely wife, sleeping a few yards away from us now.
-Ask my brother. Ask him if reason have any business intruding in matters of the heart.
-I do not believe that you love her, my lord. I believe that you want her in your bed. You could never cast aside your dornish wife for her, seeing how strained the relationship is between the two realms. And Enya deserves a husband.
-She would be well cared for with me. Her future secure and any children would have a beautiful future.
-That woman is not the one to birth bastards, and if you dare to suggest that again, I cannot see how I would be able to respect you anymore.
-Even if her happiness lay with me?
-She would be disgraced, not happy. That's a noble woman, Lord Kevan. Her House has sworn fealty to mine. Is my duty to protect her. You may believe that your interest hasn't been noted, but it has. She does not wish for it, so I beg you to understand. Moons ago, we had already talked about this.
Kevan seemed to finally understand, and muttering an apology, he made his way back to the castle. Catelyn observed her brother-to-be looking ever so distressed, and then turned her attention to Enya and Lord Westerling walking towards the meadow. Tywin had guaranteed her that he was a good prospect to her friend, and she would trust him.
With that, Catelyn made her way back to the castle, decided to hold assembly before Tywin decided to leave his chambers. She was probably half way through the rulings when she saw him in the gallery, next to his brother, watching as she continued to settle grievances. It took another hour before she could finish, but Tywin remained there.
-I believe we may need a second throne on the Great Hall of Casterly Rock. -Tywin said, when she was finally alone with him.
-I cannot wait to leave this part of my obligations behind. Surely I can rule if you are absent or if you wish me to join, but to hold assembly every single day, I have no intention of doing so.
-I have no intention on being absent, as you will be busy raising our heir. But you know far too well that to raise an heir, is to show by example how to rule.
-Male or female?
-You are the proof of a female heir that seems more capable of ruling than our current King. So although I would much prefer it to be a boy, I will not be unhappy if it is a girl like her mother.
-Lady Catelyn! -she heard the gasp coming from her Septa, who seemed decided to be Catelyn's shadow lately- This cannot be truth!
-What are you talking about?
-You know very well!
And she disappeared into a corridor, which Catelyn knew led to her chambers.
-What have just happened? -Tywin seemed confused.
-I do not know, my love.
-Did your septa just conclude that you are with child? -he smirked.
-It seems like... -and Catelyn laughed, making Tywin emulate her- Oh, well... This will make her very much interested in speeding up the marriage procedures.
-I cannot say that I oppose to that.
Lord Hoster's arrival, before noon, sent Catelyn's world into a whirlwind. Not only her, but also Tywin, were summoned to his solar, where Septa Myra and the High Septon already expected them. In a corner, her uncle seemed to wish to disappear.
-Welcome back, Father.-she greeted, noting that her father hadn't created any space for her to greet him as she usually did- What seems to be the issue?
-Have you dishonoured my daughter? -the question was aimed at Tywin, in a lifeless, monotone voice.
-I certainly did not. -Tywin's tone was pretty much the one he used to treat everyone, but Catelyn- What could possibly be prompting this question?
-Septa Myra believes that the Lady Catelyn is expecting. -The High Septon said- What would not be a surprise, seen how distant our Lady is from the Faith.
Catelyn couldn't help but to smile. They were so wrong, and believed themselves so right. She calculated that she should be one third of the way into said pregnancy, considering the last time her and Tywin were together. Her stomach, however, was as flat as it had always been.
-This is disgraceful. -Tywin responded- Is absolutely offensive that any of you find in yourselves the words to accuse the Lady Catelyn of this.
-Weren't you bringing me tea and praying with a few days ago, when I had my moonblood. –Catelyn was calm, asking the Septa.
-I didn't see any blood. –Catelyn's placid expression was almost unsettling- Your maids, my lady... They are very much dedicated to you. Loyal. They would all lie for you, I am sure. –she blurted- If we were to ask of any blood.
-Would you accept to be examined by a meister? –the Septon asked, making Hoster Tully look incredibly exhausted.
-Your meister would also lie for her. -the septa said- We would need a different one.
-What did Lysa offer you? –Catelyn asked, taking a seat in front of her father, but turning to stare at the septa.
-I have no earthly desires, my lady. –but her eyes denounced her.
-You were brought up in the Vale, didn't you? –Lord Hoster asked.
-Considering Lysa is remaining at the Vale currently, wouldn't it be convenient if she put a good word for you with her Lord Husband? So you could return home.
-Home is everywhere, under the blessing of the Seven.
Catelyn rolled her eyes and stared back at her father, resting her case.
-Are you with child? –the man asked again- Would you allow a meister to assess you?
-No one is to touch my lady. -Tywin's voice was strong and powerful- And I am prepared to cut any hands that dare to approach her with such intent.
-My darling... -Catelyn decided to soothe Tywin, who was seething at this moment- I wish to speak with my father alone.
-Catelyn...
-Please. -she kissed his hand- I will meet you soon.
He took a deep breath, still looking enraged. Catelyn stared at her septa and ordered her out of the room, to which she obeyed. The High Septon, however, made sure to remind her that the hierarchy within the Faith made so her Septa shouldn't be ordered about in such a manner.
-The hierarchy in Riverrun dictates that my word is law, and only my Lord Father can challenge me. You are also to leave. -she pointed the door.
-Please, I apologize for my daughter's outburst, but I would also like to have a word with her by myself. -and only then, the man left.
He was not sure he wanted to leave together with Tywin, clearly afraid of any repercussions. He was allowed to leave first, and considering that her uncle had being present the whole time, silent sitting by the window, Tywin could leave with him.
-I would just like to say, Hoster... -he said, one hand in Tywin's shoulder as they neared the door- I am disappointed that you allowed those dusty bitter people to corner Cat like that.
And they left. But her father didn't cared. He was old and tired of said conversations. It was the third different man that was accused of lying with his unmarried daughter, and he was not about to let that go without at least a rant.
-What do you believe you can possibly say that will change how tarnished your honour seems to be?
-Tarnished to whom? To you? Am I spoiled goods to you now?
-You know the Faith is in reason when they say you are lost.
-Lost?
-What happened, Cat? -he sat down, and she noticed that he was still wearing his travel clothes and looked very tired- Why are you so distant from the Faith?
-Because praying did me no good during the war. Because it didn't protected Brandon or helped Lya. Because when men were dying on that hall, they would call and no one would answer. It was just pointless.
-You know that this is not like any of this works, my love.
-When Enya had her bed of blood, widowed and away from her own mother... When we begged the gods to spare her baby boy... That was when I stopped praying.
-Oh, love... -he took a deep breath and hid his face on his hands- I understand you. But you are a ruler, and you need to lead by example. This wouldn't be happening if you visited the Sept more often, and led prayer now and again…
-Oh, father, please! –she was exasperated- You know Septa Myra is just doing Lysa's bidding. She has suffocated me since my horse was slaughtered, looking to cause me problems. This is just her succeeding at last!
-Still, my dear…
-Maybe the old gods are more forgiving than the new.
-The new are the ones who will allow you to marry.
-Tywin wouldn't care if we said the words under a Heart Tree.
-But I would, dear. It would matter to me, if I still count for something. If you are still interested in being the Lady of the Riverlands, you need to accommodate its entire people.
Catelyn decided that her father was right, and she had done no more than the bare minimum with her obligations with the Faith. She remembered that her father allowed her and Lysa to remodel the Sept for their future weddings, and they went a bit over the top with hanging flowers and adding gold details to the Idols. She remembered how dedicated they were in the task, having no more than four and ten at the time. They made glass roof to be installed so the plants would have the best possible light.
-My love, you have to reconcile with this side of you. Do not allow the war to take faith and prayer from your heart.
-Do you believe that my reluctance made me unworthy?
-No.
-Do you believe that I am with child?
-I do not know. The last time a septa confronted me with such accusations, they proved to be true.
-I am not Lysa.
-No, but you love with all of you. And I would not be overly enraged if you and he went too far, but I would be disappointed if you risked birthing a bastard knowing that there's other ways. You are smarter than that, love.
She was surprised that her father was willing to give her all that freedom, in an area where other women would never have. It showed that he saw her as his equal, and he had tried his best to elevate her to that status even after the war. They both knew Edmure was to rule, but they also knew Edmure as a person and that he would be quite happy to spend his life traveling and exploring and leaving his sister to care for Riverrun. That was also one of the reasons why her father had always favoured a Riverlander over others when proposals came, so she wouldn't be taken away.
-I am a maiden. And you know. Tywin knows.
-He believes you?
-He knows he hasn't done anything. And honest to all the gods, he hasn't even tried. Yes, we can be intense, and we do love each other madly, but he hasn't tried anything.
He literally hadn't. Everything they shared had been initiated by her, and he was the one to enforce how far they could go.
-I believe you. –he declared- It is not relevant, in any case. This wedding will be happening soon enough, for what I have gathered. I am sorry if I have failed to protect you from Lysa.
-I have protected myself just fine. –her tone softened, touched by her father tired eyes and defeated attitude- I need to ask you something.
-If is under my power.
-I want this septa to leave. I promise to have one in Casterly Rock. And I will make sure to keep another in Riverrun. But septa Myra is to leave.
-This won't help your case, dear. The Faith will be enraged. Your absence from the Sept undermines them to the common folk. And you are a woman, you know they believe you should fit the wife mould.
-We cannot accept our lessers to treat us this way. –she whispered.
-You only have twenty years of age. –her father finally walked around his desk and stood in front of his daughter- Only twenty. –he wrapped his arms around her- There's so much to teach you yet.
-You have prepared me very well, Father. –she kissed his face- Maybe too well, considering that now I must learn how to be something else other than you spare.
-You were always my heir. –he confessed- Perhaps that is why the change is so difficult. He will take you away.
-Are you regretting giving my hand in marriage? –Catelyn smiled, looking at her father that looked so old now.
-Yes. –he said sincerely- And you will also take Enya. She is rather unhappy with me lately, but she will be missed.
Catelyn could see how hard her beloved father was taking all of it. She wanted him to stop worrying too much, but that coming from her would be very ironic. Since her nameday he had to deal with a number of issues, even war. He didn't deserved the hassle of soothing the Faith.
-Father… How can I make your life easier? How can I be of any assistance?
-You have already done so much… -he had tears in his steely blue eyes.
-I will make this issue with the Faith go away. –she promised- You must get rest.
-I have barely acknowledged your husband-to-be. –he said.
-Do not worry about Tywin. Please, get some rest. –she begged- Everyone is tired, and some formalities seem to have evaded us all.
-Are you two settled? Happy?
-All is well. –she promised.
-Have you told him about the…
-Yes. He is aware of the assassination attempt.
-Good. –Lord Hoster took a seat- Now go, he might be skinning the Septon alive and Brynden might be helping.
-He isn't a Bolton. –she teased, kissing him on the top of the head and leaving.
She went after Tywin immediately after that, and like he was able to read her thoughts, he had already started to plan his next steps.
-I will send word to Casterly Rock by raven, and the High Septon of the West will be here as soon as feasible.
-That would be good. -she hugged him- However I thought you couldn't remain here too long.
-We cannot, however I will not have you challenged like this! Not after everything you endured because of your sister.
-Won't this complicate things even further?
-Your uncle seemed to think it to be a good idea regardless.
-You two are friends now. -she smiled- He wasn't too sure about you at first.
-I wouldn't be too sure about me either, darling.
She laughed, hugging him. She knew that he was trying to protect her, but she was also aware that every day he spent away from the Rock was a gamble. The siege was still ongoing. It was good that he came for her, but it was not cleaver. And she valued the fact that he turned his back on those pressing obligations to mend things with her.
-Do not act yet. –she asked- I must do something first.
On her chambers, the Septon, Meister Hoth, Enya and her uncle observed the intricate work done on her wedding dress, with the embroidery of The Seven that Catelyn had done herself.
-I apologise for accusing you, my Lady. I see you still keep your faith close to your heart, even if your actions are subdued and private. –the Septon said, his tone changing- I wish to intercede for Septa Myra.
-She is to leave. –Catelyn tied the robe around her waist, having proved that she wasn't with child, by allowing the Meister to examine her and the Septon to witness it.- Today. She is to leave today.
-My Lady, you are not the one to decide such matters. –the Septon made the mistake of arguing.
-You may believe I need you. –she said after a moment of silent contemplation- With my wedding needing to happen soon. I promise you that I would much rather have this wedding in Casterly Rock than to submit myself to your delusion in…
Enya grabbed her hand to silence her. Her eyes asking without words "Is this worth it?" The tension on the room increasing. Her uncle took a deep breath, knowing that his presence there was for Catelyn's comfort, and as such, he just ordered the meister to take the Septon away.
-She entertained the accusations of this septa that is overstepping boundaries. –Lord Brynden said simply, indicating the door to the Septon that still wished to argue his case- She is not forbidding you from bringing a new Septa to the Castle. She just wants Septa Myra to leave her service.
-Can we find a compromise, High Septon? –Catelyn asked- Or do you wish to be made to leave the Riverlands as well?
The man finally seem to understand, and muttering words in agreement, walked out the room, being followed by Meister Hoth, who looked rather proud at the moment. When the door closed, they retreated to the balcony and asked for wine. Catelyn could not understand why and how she was so calm. She would not bulge, and nothing the septa could say would make any amends with her.
-How did this happen? –Lord Brynden asked confused, and even Enya was still unaware of the origin of the issue.
-This all started because my Tywin and I were talking about a future heir, that even if it was a little girl, she should be brought up to rule.
-Is that true? –Enya smiled.
-He seems to believe I would be able to raise a ruler in Casterly Rock, even if female.
-No one could doubt it. –Lord Brynden assured her- And it does not surprise me that Tywin is keen on stablishing succession to the Rock. If he had any hopes of having Jaime Lannister in his Seat, it dissipated when he chose to remain in King's Landing when his House was so brutally attacked.
-His Queen was about to give birth to the crown Prince. –Enya defended him- His Queen, who is also his twin.
-It only showed his father where his alliance truly lays. –the man shrugged- And facing such demonstration, it would be silly if his father ignored it. And silly is not a word to describe that man. In any case, it reinforces your position, Cat.
She sipped some wine, not finding anything to say.
-Were you serious when suggesting leaving Riverrun unmarried? –Enya asked.
-She might have to. Truth be told, Tywin should not be here. This is not going to be well received among his nobility.
-I know. –Catelyn answered- And yes, I was serious. –she was pensive, observing the bends of the River. Tywin urgently needs an heir. He loves me, I know. But an attack like this one must have put things into perspective, especially with his son's absence. He does not act without a cause, and he knows he might be paying a price by displeasing his Lords. But that is why he is here. Securing a wife to secure an heir.
-Or at least that is his excuse to the western nobility. –Enya was decided to look at this from a more romantic way.
-I would have waited for him. –Catelyn declared- I would not, in good conscience, jeopardize such a beneficial union to our House because of my bruised ego, especially when he wasn't actually in the wrong. I would have waited, it would be all forgotten with a simple letter. I do love him this much.
-We know. –her uncle finished his wine and stood up- I will inform Hoster. I will also make sure to have him rest for today. –he kissed both girls heads, and left.
-I will make sure Septa Myra doesn't go to the Vale. –Enya also stood up after taking a quiet instant with her friend, both lost on thoughts- Lysa will not win this. –she promised.
-Lysa already lost. –Catelyn whispered to herself, wondering if there was any winner in all that, and if said winner was her.