The knock on the office door did nothing to brighten my mood. More than likely, it was one of the factory girls asking yet another inane question and, after Ken's visit, I had no patience for such nonsense.

"What?!" I snapped, lifting my head from where it had been resting on my arms but, on seeing Simon in the doorway, I immediately plastered a smile on my face.

"Si!"

"Are you alright?"

He looked at me with concern. Typical, I thought, I finally had that mutually caring relationship I'd always wanted with Simon at the point when it didn't matter anymore. I wondered how different things would've been if Simon had been this accepting, this caring of me when Peter and I had first got together. If things hadn't been so difficult early on, would our relationship have survived?

"Carla?"

How long had I been staring into nothingness, my mind wandering in the streets and laneways of the past, of regret.

"Yes, Si, what can I do for you?"

"Is it my dad? Is that what's bothering you?"

"What? No, it's not… are you… you must be missing him?"

"I guess." He shrugged. Typical deflection, I thought. "It's not the first time he's taken off, won't be the last."

Simon's casual dismissal of Peter's repeated absences pierced my heart. The lad had spent way too much of his life without his dad and I couldn't help but feel responsible. If I'd stayed away from Peter, if I'd left Peter and Leanne's marriage alone, maybe they would've made it, maybe Simon's family wouldn't be so fractured, and maybe Simon wouldn't be living without his dad today.

"I'm sorry."

"Not your fault."

"You know you can talk to me if you ever need… anything."

"Yeah, I know." He gave me a half-smile and the silence between us grew until he blurted out in in a desperate attempt to ease the tension, "Kirk called. The van broke down on his way back from the Stetson's delivery."

"Did he call roadside assistance?"

"Yeah, he's waiting on them now."

"Okay, thanks for letting me know."

Simon had barely left the office when I knew without a doubt what I needed to do. Simon had been a warning, one that I wasn't prepared to ignore any longer.

"I've just had an earful from grandad."

With some mental effort, I pushed down my aesthetic appreciation of Adam sitting behind his desk, his tie a little askew, his suit jacket slung over the back of his chair, his crisp white shirt fitted with just the right snugness over his chest.

"Really? He was quite gentle with me," I explained, sinking into the seat opposite him. "Pointed, but gentle."

"He's already been to see you? You could've given me some warning."

"Sorry," I apologised lamely. "So, what did he say?"

"The usual. Said I was being selfish and reckless and how I had a history of destructive behaviour. And I told him it was none of his business."

"You don't think it's his business?"

"No. Do you?"

"He's the head of the family – your family, Adam – and he's doing whatever it takes to keep everyone together as some kind of cohesive unit. You know Simon, he's had a pretty messed up life."

"What's Simon got to do with us?"

"I messed up his life. It's what I do, Adam, I mess things up. Going after Peter, destroying Simon's family, that was my mess. But it didn't matter, none of it mattered to me, all that mattered was that I got what I wanted."

"Simon would've wanted his dad to be happy."

"Peter was happy with Leanne."

"He was happier with you."

"Not enough to stay. And look, I'm not faulting him for that because I understand now that there's not one thing, one person, one situation in life that is your only source of happiness. There's endless possibilities, people, partners, that can make you happy. So why choose the one thing that you know is going to cause other people unhappiness."

"It's that easy, is it? Just pick someone else? You're talking like someone who doesn't believe in true love, or soulmates, or destiny. And I know that you do."

"I used to. I don't know what I believe in anymore. But I do know one thing for sure."

"What's that?"

"What happened with Peter and Leanne and Simon, and me and Daniel, me and you, I've done enough damage to the Barlow family. I'm done, I'm not doing any more."

"Do I get a say in any of this? Does what I want matter?"

"No." I rose to my feet, adding a physical finality to my statement. "It's been… We've had a lot of fun, haven't we?"

I couldn't help myself. I knew I should've walked out of his office at that moment without looking back, but I didn't, or couldn't, I wasn't sure why. Instead, I stepped around the desk and, leaning over him, kissed him for what I had decided was the last time.

"I'm sorry," I whispered.

And then I was gone.