I cannot express how hard it was to follow up the previous chapter. I literally wrote 6 drafts of this chapter before I settled on this one. Hope y'all enjoy and sorry for the wait! Please excuse errors.
Kelly repeated "Dawson" once more, his concern for Gabby evident, but she couldn't provide an answer just yet. Just when it seemed that the situation might unravel further, her grandmother came to the rescue. The elderly woman opened the glass door, offering a graceful exit for Gabby.
"Gabriela, sweetie. They are almost ready," her grandmother said, diverting her gaze to her son. "Ramón?" There was a hint of shock in her expression, mirroring the surprise Gabby had felt upon seeing her father.
Gabby didn't stick around to question the unfolding events any further. She took this opportunity to slip away and head back inside, leaving her father, Kelly, and her grandmother.
The shock on Alicia's face was the sole source of relief for Gabby, confirming that her grandmother had been just as surprised by her father's unexpected appearance as she was.
The majority of the crowd had returned to their tables, and as Gabby prepared to address the gathering, she decided to stop at the bar for a quick dose of liquid courage to steady her nerves.
As she took a moment to collect herself, a gentle hand brushed her arm, and she turned to see Matt. Concern etched across his features, he asked, "You okay?"
She summoned the most convincing smile she could, finishing her drink in a quick, determined swig. A glance around confirmed that any lingering eyes were now directed elsewhere.
"I'm good," she replied, her tone a bit distant.
In that moment, in panic, she instinctively pulled her arm away from his gentle touch. Her eyes immediately darted away from him. She couldn't bear to meet his gaze, not wanting to face the confusion that had suddenly clouded his eyes.
Gabby was painfully aware of the subtle change in his demeanor. She kept her head down, her finger tracing the rim of her glass, silently acknowledging the hurt she had caused with her unspoken actions.
Without pressing further, he let out a light chuckle before he retreated, giving her space as he made his way to his seat at the front of the room.
Gabby let out a shaky breath as she allowed her eyes to scan over the room once again, hoping her father's gaze wasn't directed at her from some random corner. She sighed in relief when she saw nothing, realizing he was likely still on the balcony.
"What was he talking about?" Gabby's mind was a swirling mess of frustration and disappointment when Kelly's voice pierced through her thoughts. She closed her eyes briefly, clenching her jaw in irritation.
Kelly placed himself firmly in front of her as she attempted to walk away, blocking her path. He leaned in, his eyes sharp with curiosity, and asked, "Dawson, what arrangement was he talking about?"
Gabby's response was barely audible as she mumbled, "Nothing,"
She sidestepped him once again, this time successfully.
She was aware that drowning her sorrows in alcohol at the bar, would do nothing. And she certainly wouldn't dare to stand before these people and highlight the program's negative aspects just because her mood had been fermented. She was determined not to be the one to cast a shadow over it, at least not without a leveled head.
Gabby wouldn't give her father the satisfaction of watching her stumble in his presence, so she decided on an alternative solution. Spotting Shay in the crowded room, engaged in conversation with April and Chief Boden, Gabby politely pulled her friend aside, excusing them both.
"Hey, you okay?" Shay asked, holding a glass of champagne. "Casey said you needed to go out and get some air."
Another reason why she should go. She was haunted by the thought of Matt becoming a pawn in her father's game. If she had obliviously displayed even the slightest bit of affection towards him, he'd probably find reason from the careless act on her part, and she refused to allow room for it to happen.
She sighed and glanced around the room, then turned back to Shay, her eyes pleading with her friend before her mouth could. "I need you to speak for me," she said.
"I'm gonna go get Mina," Gabby continued, ""I don't want her to drain Donna while she's nine months pregnant." She found herself resorting to the use of her daughter as an excuse to leave, a decision she wrestled with.
"Yea, sure," she responded without hesitation. "Just consider this my way of settling the debt from you cooking this morning?"
Gabby's gratitude shone through in the form of a genuine smile, her eyes reflecting a mix of relief and appreciation. "Thank you, Shay." She spoke.
"You sure you're okay?"
Gabby nodded with a forced smile before turning around to find the director, informing her that she would have to leave, but promising to make it up to her in anyway the woman thought possible.
As Gabby made her way toward the exit, she was once again halted by the unwelcome presence of her father, who had excused himself from a small gathering to intercept her. He closed the distance as she internally rolled her eyes.
Her initial shock of seeing him had worn down and she just wanted to leave.
"Gabriela, we should talk," he said in a soft tone, his hands resting inside his pants pockets. "Are you leaving?"
"Yes," she responded with monotone, stepping out of the building. She politely asked the valet to bring her car around, but to her dismay, Ramon followed her. "I'm going to pick up my kid."
The abruptness of Gabby's mention of her daughter left Ramon somewhat flustered, he cleared his throat, uncertain of how to proceed.
"How about dinner?" he suggested, the idea entering one of Gabby's ears and promptly exiting the other. "I want to sit and talk."
"I'm not sure if there is anything to discuss," she replied. "Plus, I have to go get my kid," she reiterated.
"Bring her," he suggested, and the statement hit Gabby like a ton of bricks. Her head swiveled to look at him, gazing at him like he had grown an extra head. "I would like to finally meet her."
Stuck in a moment of disbelief, Gabby found her words failing her. Her mouth moved but nothing came out, she was simply shocked and struggling to comprehend this sudden change in her father's demeanor.
"Not even 20 minutes ago, you wer—"
"And allow me to apologize for that, I got a bit carried away," he interjected, his tone soft as he looked down at her. "Just... we should talk. I hadn't seen you in years, Gabriela, and you did not seem pleased with my appearance."
"A defense mechanism? Really?" She asked.
Gabby had heard it all before, seen through the faux vulnerability intended to coax her into lowering her guard, only to have her feelings wounded. She shook her head firmly, growing impatient, her eagerness to leave evident. The one thing she was determined to do in life was shield Mina from her parents, especially her dad.
"Gabriela, please," he implored. "I am trying here,"
She scoffed, raising her gaze to meet his, her arms wrapped around her body to protect herself from the cold. Right now, she regretted not bringing a coat.
"Almost 5 years later?" she retorted. "What's her name?"
His eyebrows furrowed at the question. "I am sorry?"
"My daughter? What's her name?" She clarified.
Ramon remained silent, a puzzled look etched on his features. The inconsistent behavior of her father left her perplexed. It didn't make sense for him to emotionally torment her one moment and want to reconcile the next.
"Just dinner, hija," he suggested. "An hour."
She shook her head, her car slowly being pulled in front of her. She thanked the man for the keys placed in her hand, stepped down from the platform, and made her way around to the driver's seat.
"It's about your brother," he mentioned, but it didn't deter her stride.
"It always is, isn't it," she retorted with a bitter bite as she lowered herself into the driver's seat and leaving behind a defeated Ramón in her tracks.
It didn't take Gabby long to arrive at the Boden house, and she found herself ascending the steps to the family's warm and welcoming home. She gave the door a gentle couple of knocks before it swung open, revealing a very pregnant Donna Boden.
"Gabby?" Donna asked in surprise, her eyes lighting up as she took in her the younger woman's appearance. "Wow, you look great," she complimented, making Gabby giggle and thank her. "Is it over already? I wasn't expecting you until a little later."
Gabby entered with a warm smile on her face. "No, it's still going," she replied. "I just didn't think it was fair to leave my hyper 3-year-old with you for hours, so I came a bit early."
"You didn't have to do that," she said genuinely. "She's in the living room, drawing all of her ideas for what she wants to be for Halloween."
Gabby couldn't help but giggle, knowing well that the pages were most likely filled with her daughter's unique drawings of Princess Tiana. She followed Donna to where Mina was, and the sight of her daughter's passionate focus on coloring in the color green began to melt away most of her earlier frustrations. The little girl had yet to notice her, so Gabby gently went over to her and crouched down for a better view of the artwork.
"That's so pretty, bug," she said softly, prompting the 3-year-old to turn her head with a beaming smile.
"Mama!" Mina exclaimed, immediately wrapping her arms around Gabby, abandoning her crayons and paper without hesitation.
"Hi," Gabby said, picking the little girl up and holding her close, before turning. "Thank you so much, Donna. I hope my abuelo didn't talk your head off when he dropped her off."
Donna laughed and gave her baby bump a gentle rub. "It was no problem, I hope this one is just as easy to take care of as Ms. Mina." She spoke. "And no he didn't, he seems like a great man."
Gabby gently placed Mina back on her feet. "Why don't you go clean up while I get your bag?" she suggested to her daughter. Mina nodded eagerly and turned to the coffee table, diligently collecting her things. "You okay?" she asked Donna as she noticed the slight look of discomfort on her face.
"Oh, yeah," Donna assured with a chuckle. "He's just been kicking me as if I stole his lunch money lately."
Gabby nodded, sharing a knowing smile. "Yeah, the last month is a pain in the ass." She chuckled and, with Mina's bag over her shoulder, she looked back to her daughter, who had just finished tidying up her drawing supplies. "You ready, baby?"
Mina nodded eagerly and approached Donna, wrapping her little arms around her legs. "See you later, Mrs. Boden," she said, her sweet voice filled with affection. "Bye, Terrence!" She gave Donna's baby bump a tiny rub, which made Donna smile down at her.
"See you later, sweetie," Donna replied. Then, Mina came over to her mother, silently asking to be lifted, and Gabby obliged, scooping her daughter into her arms.
"Thank you again, Donna." Gabby said, heading out of the door as Donna stood at it. Small sounds of rumble echoing throughout the city along with scattered flashes of lightning above the clouds.
"Any time," Donna replied warmly as Gabby strapped the little girl into her car seat before closing the door.
On the way home, rain had slowly begun to drop from the sky and luckily they had made it into the building before it got any heavier. Mina had fallen asleep on the way home while she filled Gabby in on her business day with her great-grandparents, making the transition to pajamas and her own bed very simple. She went into her bathroom to wash the makeup from her face, and changing into something much more comfortable, opting for a loose sweater that hung off the arch of her shoulder and cotton bottoms.
As she headed to the kitchen to make a quick meal. Seeing as the rain still pelted against her tall windows, she couldn't help but feel the weight of the recent run in with Ramón. It frustrated her how easily he could waltz into her life, remind her of what she could never have, and attempt to patch things up within a mere 30 minutes. She didn't give any working thought to the idea of him wanting to talk about her big brother, mainly because she had spoken with him a couple of weeks ago casually, on a phone call.
While she waited for the dish to finish cooking, Gabby treated herself a bit more. She reached for the wine glass rack that hung above the far end of the island, grabbed a glass, and filled it halfway. She downed the glass in one go before refilling it to drink just a sip.
Amid the gentle ambiance of her home, she was startled by a soft knock at the door. Her eyebrows furrowed, and she checked the clock on the wall before moving to open the door, revealing Matt standing there.
"Matt… hi," Gabby said, her brow furrowing as she took in his drenched appearance. Rainwater had seeped into his hair and saturated his white button-up shirt causing it to cling to his body, the fabric becoming semi-transparent. She could see the contours of his chest through it, he must have ditched the coat and tie in the truck. "You're soaking wet."
"I meant to give this to you before the Gala was over, but I didn't know you had left. She's been asking for it, and I found it earlier today," he explained, holding out the little green raincoat that belonged to Mina.
She nodded and accepted the item. "I could have got it tomorrow, you didn't have to come all the way over here in the rain to bring it," she said. While she was aware that offering to let him in might not be a good idea, given her wine-drinking and his current state, her concern for his well-being won out. "And I'm sure you know me well enough to know that I'm not letting you leave while it's raining, freezing cold and you're soaking wet."
"I'm alright. I just wanted to dro-"
"Matt." Gabby interrupted him with a knowing look, and he understood there was no point in protesting further before he stepped inside.
Gabby went into the kitchen to turn off the stove, and when she turned around, she found Matt sitting on a stool.
"Take your shirt off," she said and by the look in his eye, she knew it came out wrong.
"You know.." He began. "Usually a date would come before this part." he teased, a mischievous glint in his eye, causing Gabby to squint hers playfully. "Do you even want to get to know me first?"
"Cute," she responded with a playful smirk before stepping closer to him. Extending her hand, she waited for him to hand over his wet shirt. "Let me put it in the dryer."
"Our daughter is just in the other roo…" This time he couldn't get the flirty banter out before Gabby was unbuttoning it for him, shutting him up completely.
They were closer than they should have been, and her trembling hands revealed her own awareness of the electricity between them. He would have kept going, stalled a bit more and if it weren't for the feeling of her fingers so close to his chest, he would have, but he gave in, letting her.
"You've been testing me all day," Gabby playfully warned in a soft, hushed voice as she continued to unbutton Matt's shirt. Their eyes remained locked. "First during breakfast… then at the Gala, and now."
"It's what I'm best at," he replied with a grin as she unbuttoned the last one. She gave a barely noticeable but intentional pinch to his side, causing him to bite back a wince that didn't go unnoticed by Gabby.
Breaking eye contact, she quickly looked down to his abdomen, her eyebrows furrowing in concern. Matt sighed as if there was no point in trying to hide it further.
"What's that?" Gabby asked softly, moving the damp shirt aside to reveal a large bandage on his side. She looked at the injury delicately, her eyes filled with worry. "Matt?" She urged him to speak up, but his silence weighed heavily on the moment.
"Just a scratch." he said nonchalantly, brushing it off. "Nothing really."
Growing impatient with his hesitation, and the clear lie that he just told, she looked back up to him with a clenched jaw.
"Well, since it's just a scratch," she began, her patience wearing thin, "You won't mind if I take a look?"
"And a few stitches." he added, and she tilted her head. "A lot of stitches."
"Take it off," she ordered, referring to his damp shirt. His hesitance was apparent, but Gabby repeated herself with even more determination. "Take it off, Casey."
Hearing his last name, he sighed but reluctantly peeled the shirt from his body, obviously tensing at certain angles. She stepped forward, gently stripping the bandage from his side, revealing a long-sewn laceration that extended from his partial side and halfway to the center of his abdomen.
"Yea, just a scratch," Gabby replied sarcastically, shaking her head as she retrieved the white shirt. She disappeared down the hall and returned with a blanket and a nude duffle bag. She covered his shoulders with the knit throw before pulling out materials to properly rewrap the previously poorly treated wound.
He chuckled at her concern for his warmth, even if he wasn't cold. "I changed it myself," Matt said, finding her actions slightly amusing.
"I can tell," she responded. Matt considered voicing his protests, but he thought better of it, the death stare she'd give him might actually kill him this time. "Did you have this when I asked you about the cut on your jaw?"
He shook his head, "Yesterday morning at the construction site. Went to Lakeshore after I finished."
"Of course, you worked through it…" She sighed. "You have to be more careful." she muttered. He remained silent, his eyes keenly tracking her every move as she tended to him in that moment.
"You worry too much," he replied softly, not wanting to disturb the soothing, rain-filled silence that enveloped them.
"I wish people would stop saying that" Gabby mumbled, focused on precisely cleaning around his stitched cut. Matt simply watched her, knowing that sometimes words weren't necessary to convey care and concern.
"Gabby." He said, softly, but she didn't answer, instead waiting for him to continue. "Your grandparents were looking for you before I left."
"I'll call them tomorrow." She spoke.
He sighed, having an internal battle about whether or not to bring up the next topic. "They said that they wanted to apologize for your dad showing up."
Her body tensed for all of 2 seconds, before continuing. Even though it was brief, he noticed it.
"Is that why you left?" He asked. "Shay said you wanted to go relieve Donna of Mina, but when I saw him…"
"You saw him?" Gabby asked, her focus shifting abruptly from tending to his wound.
"Is Ramón why you left?" He pressed again, showing no intent to answer her question. Realizing she wouldn't get an answer, Gabby returned to her task. "Hm?"
"No. He's not why." she said simply, a lie that had become second nature over the years. She was almost convincing herself at this point. "All done."
"It's easy for you, huh?" he remarked as she began packing her things back into the bag. "You just lied so quickly about him."
"You should get someone to change this for you tomorrow. Don't do it yourself," she advised, knowing his poor wrapping skills could lead to an infection. "Maybe one of the paramedics at the station, Chili? Is that her name, or maybe you can get Raffer-."
"Gabby…" He interrupted, prompting a sigh from her. She bit the skin on her lip, her reluctance to discuss the older Dawson evident. She wished he didn't care so much about this particular topic.
Matt could only stare at her, a common action that he had spent years doing, studying her, knowing her almost better than herself.
He prided himself on it, but every once in a while, he questions himself. How could he know her, but still feel like he was in the dark about something so significant. She was a puzzle that he had yet to find the last piece to and it bothered him. He had left the topic as it was a few days after they split, simply because she was pregnant. Maybe if he didn't back off so quickly at her request, if he had pushed harder, he would have had that piece a long time ago.
"Can I ask you something?" Gabby asked, bracing both of her hands on the counter, breaking him away from his thoughts. He nodded, waiting for her to continue. "Why don't you hate me?" she asked turning toward him. Her initial motive wasn't to get him to stray away from the topic, it was something she actually wanted to know, but she's glad it did take his mind away from Ramón.
Matt's eyebrows raised in shock, wanting further explanation. Feeling like he had missed an entire conversation. She put a bit of distance between them. Her eyes big and wondering, letting him know it was a genuine question. How they got to this topic was completely random and made no sense to Matt, but to Gabby it made all the sense.
"What?" he asked bewildered. She was aware of how crazy she sounded. The random question throwing the both of them for a loop, she shook her head.
"Nothing." She brushed it off and cleared her throat, knowing it was unfair to ask. It was a heavy question loaded with so much and she shouldn't have asked it, but it was a question she had always longed an answer for, but it was not fair to spring it on him, besides, she probably wasn't ready for that conversation. "Sorry."
She turned away, the weight of unspoken words heavy on her shoulders as she considered returning her bag back to her bedroom. But before she could take that step, he gently gripped her arm, pulling her back towards him, between his legs, their eyes met on the same level, thanks to the island stool Matt was seated on.
"Was that a serious question?" he asked softly, his voice filled with genuine concern.
"No." she said immediately, deflecting. "Never mind."
Her breath mingled with his in the intimate space between them. She couldn't tell if it was the effects of the one glass of wine plus a sip or simply his presence that made her heart race, but she had to bite her lip to keep her emotions in check and stop it from quivering.
The day had left her feeling utterly defeated, and the glossiness in her eyes added to the fireman's growing alarm, it was a state of vulnerability that he hadn't seen her in, in a while. Unbroken tears welled up at the brim of her eyes, blurring her vision. He was utterly confused at the sudden change in the atmosphere.
The years of unspoken pain, regrets, and longing threatened to spill from her lips. She struggled to hold back the flood of emotions, relying on every neuron firing in her brain to maintain her composure. But there was something about the man before her, something about his proximity that stirred a profound yearning to share her deepest secrets. . For the first time in a while, she wanted to let go, to confide in him completely, and she despised herself for it. Hated that she could be so self-absorbed to even consider telling him a fraction of what she wanted to.
"Talk to me, Gabby," he said, his touch tender as he used his thumb to release her tightly pinched bottom lip from her teeth, causing it to tremble.
It was easier to hide from him when he wasn't sitting 5 inches away from her, ready to listen and hold her pain. It was easier when he was at a comfortable distance, when she didn't feel his warm breath on her lips. And yet, it would have been easier if she didn't carry so much love for him.
This wasn't how it was supposed to be. They were meant to be happy and have moved on by now, but God were they wrong. Normally teenage breakups would have been the end of their story, but they shared a baby girl that kept them connected. It was a kind of bond that made it challenging to move on. They wouldn't trade Mina for anything ever, but wished they could sever the emotional ties that still bound their hearts.
There was a point in time when she wouldn't have dared to be near him so closely, aware that her father likely had eyes on them. Even now, they were closer than they had been in a while. But, over time, she had come to believe that the tight leash her father held on her life had gradually loosened, and his terms had felt like it was losing permanence day by day.
It was only then that she had started to feel comfortable being near the blonde man again without the constant need to look over her shoulder, talking to him like she would in the past, letting him kiss her cheek or her forehead. But tonight… tonight her father's spiteful reminder had undone it all, and that's why she could feel every emotional sense that had ever grazed her mind threaten to spill. The thought of pushing him away once again, slowly eating at her.
Matthew Casey was the one who had continued to hold her together. And if he had decided to resent her before, if he had chosen a path of distant co-parenting the moment Mina Casey entered this cruel world, she wasn't sure what version of Gabby Dawson would walk Chicago.
Gabby let out a shaky breath and raised her trembling palms to his cheeks. Matt's hand came up to gently hold her wrist.
"Are you happy, Matt?" she asked softly, her eyes locking onto his with a mixture of hope and fear, her voice trembling. Deep down, her heart ached for nothing less than an affirmative 'yes' at this very moment. She desperately needed him to be happy.
The realization struck her that it wasn't healthy for either of them to continue like this, clinging to false hope.
Gabby understood that after the day she left her father's office for the last time, happiness might escape her forever. She had reluctantly come to terms with that, but she couldn't begin to try and to take steps towards the feeling if the most deserving man didn't have it.
His eyebrows furrowed once more. "Could be happier," he replied, and the weight of that phrase pressed heavily on her heart. It wasn't good enough for her, and the emptiness of his response left her yearning for him to have more.
"Are you?" he inquired, his voice filled with curiosity.
"What would make you happier?" she replied, skillfully deflecting his question.
"Are you happy, Gabriela?" he asked again.
"What would make you happier?" She repeated, her gaze locked onto his.
"Do you want me to answer that honestly?" he asked.
Gabby sighed, dropping her hands from his face, her head turning in the direction of a cold, rainy Chicago. Without hesitation, his finger hooked under her chin, bringing her eyes back to his.
"Do you?" He repeated. "I'll shout it from the rooftops." He smiled.
She chuckled a little, a relief on his end to hear the sound.
"I want you to be happier." She says just above a whisper, she swallowed hard before she continued. "However you need to achieve it, whatever you want to do to get there… I want that for you." Her eyes pleading with his. "I need that for you." She expressed.
She was saying everything without saying it at all, it wasn't hard for him to comprehend what she was implying.
The happiness she wished for him couldn't come from herself, the notion was etched in stone. But that didn't mean he couldn't discover it… with someone else.
"You wanna know what would make me happier?" He asked the same question she had posed earlier, recognizing the subtle contradiction between her words and the emotions conveyed by those damp, brown, doe-like eyes.
She thought for a moment, knowing that the words that were certain to leave his lips, she couldn't give him.
She took a second but eventually shook her head this time, a teary smile grazing her face.
His smile mirrored hers, wrapping his arms around her waist while hers encircled his neck. She held on for dear life, running her fingers through the hairs on his nape. It felt like she was letting him go for a second time, and her heart couldn't have been more fragile.
"I'm sorry, Matt." She croaked out, wiping the stray tear that fell onto her cheek as he rubbed her back.
"Me too." he said, blinking away the stinging behind his eyes, kissing her exposed shoulder.
They remained in that embrace for a few minutes, with Gabby holding onto him as if she was afraid of letting him go. Reluctantly, she eventually pulled away, even though it was the last thing she wanted to do. She left a lingering kiss on his cheek before parting from him.
"I should go." he said, squeezing her hand and she nodded as she looked over to the windows to see that the rain had calmed down a lot.
"Let me go get your shirt., I'm sure it's dry by now." She offered weakly, but before she could move he stood up.
"I'll go. I wanna say goodnight to Mina anyway." He said, leaving the room and going towards the hallway.
She blew out a heavy sigh as she ran her hands through her hair, resting her elbows on the island. In her moment of silence, her phone dinged, signaling a text message. She went over to retrieve it, reading a message from Kelly.
"We'll talk tomorrow."
Another hump she had to get over that she wasn't looking forward to. She didn't bother to reply as Matt made his way back in with a freshly dry and buttoned shirt. He moved over to the island picking up the drawing that their daughter had abstractly drawn a few hours ago, before he let out a chuckle as he tried to determine what it was supposed to be.
"Her drawing skills definitely came from you." he playfully teased, and she responded with a playful jab at his shoulder. The tension in the room seemed to ease, and a soft smile returned to her face.
"Catch you later," he said as he made his way to the door. She nodded in response, her fingers brushing away a stray strand of hair as she walked him to the door with unspoken emotions hung in the air.
DON'T HATE ME YOU GUYS. It's too early in our friendship.
I know y'all want to know what happened and I'm dying to tell you but please bear with me lol.
I'm not sure why this chapter was so hard to write. I already had a chapter written, but I've pushed it back. What can I say? I'm a sucker for angst, sue me!
I hope everyone is well and please leave reviews. I love reading them!