Zhang Qing Shi grunted uncomfortably, his head pounding. He came to his senses even before he opened his eyes. What was wrong with him, he thought, why was he feeling so uncomfortable? Then he remembered.
Ah yes, the young master was pushed into the river. He jumped in to save the young master and used all his strength to lift him up on shore. He overexerted himself and sank into the water afterwards. The frigid lake froze his whole body into a block of numbness, but the cold water that entered his nose and mouth was so frosty, so uncomfortable…
Had someone rescued him, Zhang Qing Shi thought?
I must have been chilled substantially, to the point of getting a fever; otherwise, I would not be fluctuating between hot and cold.
No, he had to get better soon; otherwise, what was the young master to do?
Even Brother Lu and Sister-in-law Lu couldn't for certain take good care of him.
Zhang Qing Shi desperately wanted to open his eyes. In his heart, the young master was like his child. He must protect the young master and not let him die at a young age like his three poor daughters!
Zhang Qing Shi finally cracked open his lids and blinked. Seeing the scene in front of him clearly, he was befuddled. He thought he must not have woken up yet, that this was still a dream; otherwise, why would he be here?
What caught Zhang Qing Shi's eyes were the beams that had turned black with age, as well as the dilapidated reeds and straws that had long lost their original color. A straw rope was secured on a beam, hanging down to the person lying on the bed. There was a bouquet tied to one end at a height that can be touched by reaching up.
Seeing this, Zhang Qing Shi experienced a boundless grief. He thought of his eldest daughter Da Hua who had died at a young age.
Zhang Qing Shi had once had three daughters, the eldest one called Da Hua, the second Er Hua, and the youngest Xiao Hua. Da Hua had been capable and gentle, Er Hua beautiful and fierce, and Xiao Hua frail – due to a premature birth, a little timid, but well-behaved. But they were all dead. The youngest daughter had died of illness, the second committed suicide, and the eldest perished in childbirth!
He still remembered his eldest daughter's pale lifeless face, her eyes still wide open, unable to close, and her body covered with blood. It had been an early winter, but she had been lying on the grass in the woodshed. On the haystack, that had been where she had given birth…
Da Hua had liked flowers the most. She had enjoyed picking wild flowers and making them into bouquets, then taking them home and hanging them on the straw rope. She had said that not only could she see them while standing, she could also see them when lying down. You could also smell the fragrance of flowers in the room.
Zhang Qing Shi later had seen countless beautiful and elegant flowers, also witnessed maids weaving garlands and making bouquets when they had had nothing to do. Those garlands and bouquets had naturally been more beautiful than those made by Da Hua, and the girls, having had better food and clothes, had been naturally better looking than Da Hua; but in his heart, his Da Hua was more beautiful, and the bouquets she had made prettier.
Sometimes as soon as he lied down, his mind would drift to Da Hua's bouquets. Thinking of those hard days with his family accompanying him, he always felt regret and resentment overflowing his heart, and burst into tears uncontrollably.
Now, looking at the bouquet in front of him, Zhang Qing Shi couldn't help but cry again. He thought he was dreaming all over. This time, the dream was really vivid. The colors of the flowers were brilliantly orange, like the sunset. The braided bouquet was like a big sun, warming his heart.
Zhang Qing Shi couldn't help but stretched out his hand to touch the bouquet. He knew he couldn't touch it, but he wanted to, as if wanting to bring back the lost days and his family. Even just in a dream, he must do whatever it took.
"Dad, are you awake? Tell me what you want and I'll get it for you! Mom and elder sister have gone to the fields. They will be very happy to know you are awake. "
A clear voice sounded, like a chiming bell that made people want to see what the speaker looked like, to have such a beautiful voice.
Zhang Qing Shi stiffened when he heard this. He did not dare to look at the person who had just spoken. He was afraid that he would wake up from his dream when he saw her.
Of course he knew whose this voice was; it was his second daughter's. The second daughter who had been sold because of her beautiful face and heart-touching voice, who had committed suicide in the end. His second daughter!
He had not been at home when Er Hua had died, and he hadn't even got to see her grave when he had come back. His good mother and brothers hadn't at the very least given his poor Er Hua a tomb! Just like that, she had been condemn to being a wandering ghost!
Even if he had later tried his best to build a grand tomb for her, how could it have erased the desolation and sorrow in his heart?
Er Hua witnessed her father stop moving after she called "dad!". His hand was just stretching out in the air and so suddenly still, surprising her. She immediately rushed over and shouted, "Dad, what's wrong with you? Are you feeling uncomfortable somewhere? Tell me quickly! Dad! Don't scare me!"
Zhang Qing Shi looked at the pretty face very close to him. The worried and frightened expression on that face, the big black-grape-like eyes, they made Zhang Qing Shi's tears flowed even more ferociously.
His hand wanted to touch his daughter's face, but he didn't dare to drop it nor touch it. He was afraid that if he dropped it, he would wake up from this sweet dream. It had been the same before, just as he had wanted to touch or been about to touch his family, he would wake up, alone in this world.
Er Hua was very surprised when she saw Zhang Qing Shi crying like this, and she was even more surprised when she found that his hand wanted to touch her face. In her memory, although her father was pretty good to the sisters – he would hug them, but nothing more. The kind eyes her father looked at her with always contained a bit of disappointment. She knew it was because they were not boys, and her father was said to have come to the end of his lineage, which agitated him.
Now her father was looking at her as if he were looking at a treasure, just like the look in Uncle Li from the Li family at the west end of the village's eyes when he had held his newborn son.
Er Hua was suddenly elated, was she actually also a treasure in his heart? Even though she wasn't a son, even with her father's disappointment in having no son, he still loved her very much!
Er Hua immediately grabbed her father's hand, put it on her face, and said with teary eyes, "Dad, I am Er Hua! Are you awake? This is great. I was really afraid that you wouldn't wake up. I was afraid you would abandon mother and us three sisters. All's well now that you've woken up. Now grandma will definitely be willing to pay a doctor for you."
Zhang Qing Shi's hand touched Er Hua's face. The little face was hot and soft, and the little hand holding his was tender as well. Zhang Qing Shi suddenly couldn't react. He laid still for a while. It wasn't until he saw Er Hua's eyes becoming panic-stricken again that he realized what he was doing. He quickly tried to lift his other hand, but felt a searing pain.
He couldn't help but groan, hurt evident on his face.
Er Hua quickly let go of Zhang Qing Shi's hand and fretted, "Dad, don't move, your right arm is injured."
Only then did Zhang Qing Shi notice that his left hand was grimy and rough-looking, and several of his fingers were wrapped. He had just focused all his attention on the bouquet and Er Hua, taking no notice of his own hand.
Now that he was seeing it, he immediately felt pain. His hand hurt, his head hurt, his body hurt, and his arm hurt even more.
Injured right arm? He had been injured several times in his life, but his right arm had only ever been injured once. That time, although his right arm had not been completely maimed, it could no longer do heavy work. For those who farmed, a man who could no longer use his right hand was a useless person. That life disaster made his already not particularly bright prospects even dimmer.
Zhang Qing Shi's face became even more twisted when he thought of these, but only for a moment before shock overtook it. His eyes were wide open, and he stared at Er Hua in front of him.
Er Hua was a little frightened by Zhang Qing Shi's look. What was wrong with her father, she thought. His face had been so scary just now, and currently he was looking at her like this. Could the fever have addled her father's brain?
"Dad, what's wrong with you? Are you feeling uncomfortable? You had a scorching fever and was unconscious for so long. I secretly overheard grandma say that you would either die or go daft from the fever. She would not ask for a doctor to come see your injuries first, only giving you folk remedies, claiming that your fever would definitely go away, but your fever kept not going away. Dad, don't become daft. What will we do if you do? My mother will cry herself to death, and elder sister will cry herself to death, too. My little sister is still so young, dad…"
Er Hua burst into tears as she spoke, and she couldn't help but shudder when she thought about the days to come.
Zhang Qing Shi looked at his daughter who was crying pitiably, and his heart hurt as if he had been hit by a big boulder. The pain of his body was nothing compared to the pain in his heart. There was something stuck in his throat and he couldn't speak. He couldn't comfort her even if he wanted to. He wanted to wipe Er Hua's tears away with his hands, but he felt that his hands were too burly and was afraid of hurting his daughter's eyes, so he left it suspended midair.
Er Hua looked at Zhang Qing Shi's hand and grasped it; wiping her tears with her other hand, she said in a determined voice amidst the tears, "Dad, no need to fear even if you really go daft. I'll protect you, mother, elder sister, and little sister! Even though I am a girl, I definitely won't come short! When I grow up, I will find the strongest boy to be your son-in-law. Let him help us fight. No one can bully us, not even grandma!"
Zhang Qing Shi ached after hearing this, but he wanted to laugh also. Now this was his second daughter! His beautiful second daughter with her fierce personality!
"I don't know what kind of boy can be worthy of my second girl. He must be strong, literate, and love my Er Hua. Otherwise, father will support you for the rest of his life and never marry you off."
Zhang Qing Shi said with a smile. He was still very weak now, and his voice was quietened and slow, but it was clearly heard by Er Hua.
Her eyes widened. She was surprised and happy, thinking that her father was not stupid! Then, in a flash, felt angry and self-conscious. How mean! Her father was obviously lucid, but he made her think that he was addled which led to her saying so many mortifying words. He was really a bad father!
"Dad! Why did you do that?! You're embarrassing me! I won't marry, I won't marry, and I won't marry for the rest of my life!"
"Ha ha!"
Zhang Qing Shi looked at Er Hua's sallow little face, which was flushed with anger and bashfulness, so alive and beautiful, and he felt very happy. He felt the pain in his body along with the warmth from Er Hua's hands and face. Only then did he understand that he was not dreaming. He was alive! Although he couldn't comprehend what was going on, he realized that he had returned to the past, the past that he had always dreamed of traveling back to!
"Hey, what's going on? How come Er Hua said such shameless words? What's a little girl doing, talking about marriage? Are you in such a hurry to get married? That's all fine and dandy, this third aunt knows of many people looking for a young wife. They all live in comfort, with plenty to eat, and they are not afraid of having one more mouth to feed. You'll no doubt have a fine life over there, just don't forget about your good old aunt then!"
A string of words came from outside the door, crisp and sharp, full of sarcasm. Following the voice, one would see a slender figure walk in, wearing a pink top and a dark blue skirt. Not seeing the face, people's first thought would be that this woman must be good-looking, yet upon catching a glimpse of it, they would be a little let down. Her face was too mundane, and it exuded acrimony. Her black hair was pulled back in a bun, with a big pink flower on top. Two small silver lilacs were on her ears, which made her look more attractive. She was somewhat pretty, at least better-looking than those women in the village who worked all day and didn't care about dressing up, nor did they have any bright clothes or flowers in their hair.
Zhang Qing Shi's face sank as soon as he saw this woman. This was his sister-in-law, whose name was Du Juan Hong. She was nothing good, a house wrecker in fact. His Da Hua had been recommended a marriage by this woman! At that time, he had thought they had been good people, and assented. That family would put on airs, while Da Hua hide everything. He had thought she had been living a good life, not knowing how much the girl had suffered at the hand of her husband's family until she had died in childbirth. Du Juan Hong had absolved herself by saying that she had been blind and pretended not to know the nook and cranny of that family; but later, he would find out that she had secretly collected money from them!
Er Hua's previously pink and pretty face suddenly turned pale with anger. She stood up suddenly, turned around and retorted, "Third Aunt! What nonsense are you talking about?! Save all those good suitors of yours for your Lan Xin! Your Lan Xin is one year younger than me, more suitable to be a child bride!"
Du Juan Hong had a son and a daughter. Her daughter was called Lan Xin, who was one year younger than Er Hua. She was seven years old this year. Her appearance and temperament mirrored Du Juan Hong's. She was most jealous of the other girls in the family who were better-looking than her, often causing trouble for the Hua's. Er Hua hated Lan Xin.
Du Juan Hong was not happy when Er Hua said this and clapped back, "Our Lan Xin is not as eager to get married as you are. Why don't you recognize people's good intention? So spiky and lacking etiquette, no matter how good-looking you are, no one will dare to marry you in the future!"
Er Hua's face turned even redder with anger and was about to counter when someone pulled her back.
Zhang Qing Shi expressionlessly quipped, "Sister-in-law, it's my business whether the second daughter of my family marries anyone. I won't bother you. You should just take care of your own. Is there anyone as unruly as you? This household is not yours, why are you nosing your way in? I'm still injured. Yet, instead of asking after me, you bother my daughter. And what you were going on about? With a mother like you, no wonder Lan Xin has such bad temperaments. For the sake of your children, you have to change your bent, even if just in pretense. Now, go find a doctor for me, and we will discuss other matters later."
Zhang Qing Shi endured his dizziness and pushed through his speech without any polite reservation. In his last life, he had held back for half his days for the sake of his family, yet in the end, he had squandered the lives of all those closest to him. He would not tolerate it anymore in this roundabout!
Du Juan Hong and Er Hua were both dumbfounded. They did not expect that Zhang Qing Shi would say such things. One must know that although Zhang Qing Shi had been dissatisfied with Du Juan Hong before, as a brother-in-law, he had never railed on her. But now, this? The astoundment! Both Du Juan Hong and Er Hua were wondering if Zhang Qing Shi was not clear of mind.
"Dad, do you have a headache? Here, have some water!" Er Hua concluded that her father was still feverish and, unsure if he was indeed rambling, she scrambled to give him something to drink. However, she had to admit that, while anxious, she was very excited that her father was on her side this time! Dad scolded Third Aunt for her! Although he was sick and injured and lying in bed, dad really was more fearsome now than when he was standing!
Zhang Qing Shi drank a bowl of water from Er Hua and felt much better. He smiled and told Er Hua, "Good girl. Please see your third aunt out. If she won't invite the doctor, you go in her stead, they'll have to pay the doctor in the end anyway."
Du Juan Hong's face distorted. She staved them off, "Second Uncle, shouldn't you give your mother a heads-up about the doctor's appointment? You can't be calling shots on your own."
Doctors costed money, Du Juan Hong lamented. And just now, she had been told off by Zhang Qing Shi. She didn't want to get him a doctor so easily.
Zhang Qing Shi replied calmly, "I'm awake now. I won't die of fever or go daft. My mother will probably agree to hire a doctor. I think mother is also worried about me. She'll just scold you for dillydallying if you go ask for her permission. Er Hua, go ask for a doctor, while your third aunt go tell your grandma."
Er Hua was so happy to see her father not hesitating at all when her second aunt mentioned her grandma, and insisting on her inviting the doctor. She suddenly felt that her father had changed and was not like how he used to be! In the past, father would never have scolded Third Aunt like he had just done, nor would he have asked her to hire a doctor without telling grandma!
"Yes! Dad, hang on, I will ask the doctor to come here! Third Aunt, please go and talk to grandma and ask her to prepare the money!"
Er Hua told Du Juan Hong, ran around her and went off with a smile.
Du Juan Hong was fuming but got interrupted by Zhang Qing Shi just as she was about to speak.
"Sister-in-law, please leave and don't disturb Xiao Hua's sleep."
Zhang Qing Shi noticed Xiao Hua sleeping on the other side of the bed. He thought about the child's poor health and timidity. If jolted awake, she would definitely be scared and startled, so he quickly kicked Du Juan Hong out. He said this in a hush tone out of fear of disturbing Xiao Hua, but his voice was strict, and his eyes fixed on Du Juan Hong darkly, like he would disregard any civility if she didn't go out. In reality, Zhang Qing Shi had mentally eviscerated Du Juan Hong countless time. Oh how he despised this woman!
Du Juan Hong was startled, picturing Zhang Qing Shi like a tiger. She was so frightened that she turned around and darted out. Upon reaching the yard, she finally came back to her senses. Patting her chest, she wondered what had happened to the second uncle today. How come he was so… scary? He actually freaked her out! Why did she think he had been so fearsome just now? Strange. He's obviously a useless man who couldn't get up from bed! Du Juan Hong flared as soon as the fear had passed, planning on tattling to her mother-in-law! Humph, want to see the doctor, do you? I won't let you get your way!
Du Juan Hong ran into the main house, lifted the curtain and entered the east room.
"Ah! Why you rude little thing, lifting the curtain and barging in without a word! What happened to form and decorum?! Scare me and I'll tell my third son to give you a good beating!"
A stiff voice cursed out furiously. It came from the mouth of an old woman sitting on the bed. She was none other than Mrs. Zhang, the head of the Zhang family.
Mrs. Zhang's room was neatly tidied. On one side of the bed was a cabinet with some miscellaneous items stored in it. On the other side were her bedding and pillows. They were all made of coarse blue fabric, new-ish, with no patches on them. It's quite rare; after all, many people now had patches on even their clothes. There was a small table in the middle of the bed, on it were a kettle and a bowl, as well as a plate with some melon seeds in it.
Mrs. Zhang was thin and petite, with few wrinkles on her face. Her face was sallow and her gray hair was tied up. She was dressed in a coarse blue outfit and her feet were not too small. She was sitting cross-legged on the bed with no shoes on, only socks. There was a faint smell in the room. Her aged eyes were usually squinted, yet were now wide open, red with anger, and cutting. She looked like an aggressive old woman.
Du Juan Hong was not afraid of her mother-in-law. Her birth family was so well-off that even her mother-in-law wouldn't dare to beat her. Neither would Zhang Qing Yu; on the contrary, in the throes of anger, it was her who would hit Zhang Qing Yu!
"Mother! Second Uncle woke up and was very demeaning to me. I heard him jesting with Er Hua, who was talking about getting married. I joked about finding a good family for her, but they raked me over the coals, even dragging my Lan Xin into it. Also, he ordered Er Hua to ask for a doctor, without informing mother."
Du Juan Hong knew that her mother-in-law would definitely get mad. She was someone who wanted to be in charge of everything, and she especially loved money. When second uncle had come back injured, she hadn't even wanted to hire a doctor for him, just letting him get better on his own. She would rather give up her son's life before she would money! The cruelty she possessed made a person run cold.
Mrs. Zhang was indeed enraged. What's the point of getting a doctor, she fumed. Wasn't it just a broken arm? Bones would heal over time, and fever would go down after a dose of medicine. Why bother hire a doctor? It costed a lot of money, each visit from the village's doctor Feng! Also, going to the doctor without asking for her permission? Did he no longer take this mother seriously?
"Hmph! Let me go see him!" Mrs. Zhang said as she got off the bed, but not before she remembered that she had not put away her things. She glared at Du Juan Hong, "You go first! It's almost noon. Is the meal ready? The others have all gone to the fields, and you're the only one doing light work at home. Don't be so lazy. If my sons starve, I won't let you get away with it!"
Du Juan Hong hummed twice, turned around and headed out. Before she raised the curtain, she quickly glanced at Mrs. Zhang and saw that she had turned around to gather something. She pursed her lips, the old woman was counting her coins again, wasn't she? Humph, guarding money so tightly, did she really think she could take it all to the grave? Damning old woman! Indeed, Mrs. Zhang loved her youngest son Zhang Qing Yu the most, but Du Juan Hong was not particularly liked by her mother-in-law, because she was not the daughter-in-law she had chosen. Zhang Qing Yu had been taken with her, hence refused to marry Mrs. Zhang's niece. Mrs. Zhang had been holding a grudge ever since. She couldn't take it out on her son, however, so she pointed her arrows at her daughter-in-law. If Du Juan Hong's family hadn't been so well-to-do, she would probably have suffered even worse than the second eldest daughter-in-law, Xue Niang!
Mrs. Zhang went to the west wing and saw that Zhang Qing Shi was indeed awake. She was also a little happy. Although she had been reluctant to spend money on her son, she was glad that he hadn't died or become stupid. After all, he was flesh of her flesh, a good laborer, and the most filial and obedient of her three sons.
When Zhang Qing Shi spotted Mrs. Zhang, he felt an overwhelming hatred bubbling up. The more deferent and reverent he had been to his mother in the past, the more he now hated her. His filial piety had killed his wife and daughters. He loathed himself, and even more so his mother! Children should indeed be filially pious, but he had already fulfilled his part in the previous life; in this one, no longer would he be foolishly filial!