Chapter 5 – Opening Her Heart to Love Again
As Amanda came out of the shower and prepared to get ready for the day, she saw Lee still lying in bed, asleep.
"You going to sleep all day, sleepyhead?"
Lee's eyes sluggishly opened, and he gave Amanda a quick smirk.
"Someone kept me up half the night."
Amanda tried hiding her smile by tightening her mouth but failed miserably. She walked over towards Lee and sat beside him on the bed. She reached out and pushed his hair out of his eyes, giving him a tender smile. She leaned down and gradually kissed his lips, drawing herself away and stopping to gaze into his blue eyes, then proceeded out of the bedroom and downstairs.
As she left the room, Lee closed his eyes, taking a deep breath.
"God, how did I get so lucky?"
Lee sat up in bed, rubbing his eyes and trying to wake himself up. He then headed towards the shower, taking a brief shower, then went to the spare bedroom next door and got dressed. He made his way down the steps, walking into the kitchen, and smelled the scent of fresh brewed coffee.
Amanda was sitting at the kitchen island, drinking her coffee, and eating some waffles with syrup, as she was reading some paperwork that was in a brown file folder sprawled out on the counter before her. She looked up at Lee and smiled.
Lee walked over to the coffee maker, picked up a coffee mug and poured him a cup of hot coffee. Taking a sip, he turned back around and observed Amanda.
She glanced up, seeing he didn't drink any creamer or sugar with his coffee.
"No creamer or sugar?"
Lee cringed and shook his head at her question.
"No, just black coffee for me. Creamer and sugar ruin the coffee."
"Ah."
Amanda went back to studying the paperwork that she was holding in her hand, taking a quick sip of her coffee.
"You?"
Amanda glanced back at Lee.
"I drink my coffee with creamer and a little bit of sugar. I can't drink it black."
Amanda snarled her nose at the thought of drinking black coffee and went back to reading her paperwork.
Lee took a few steps over towards the kitchen island, uncertain of what he needed to do for the day. He knew he needed to call his supervisor and notify him he had found a place to rent and see what the construction plan was for the next couple of weeks.
Lee sat with his coffee mug on the counter, still gazing at Amanda.
"So, uh, what all do you do around here? Anything I can do to help?"
Amanda put the paperwork back in the brown folder, closing it, and peered up at Lee.
"Well, of course, I normally take care of the horses. I clean out their stalls, give them fresh hay and water, let them out to run in the field. Basically, I just take care of the farm. I'm not sure how to describe it."
Amanda chuckled slightly and Lee nodded that he understood.
"Well, anything you need help with, you just let me know, okay?"
"Okay. I appreciate that. Thanks."
"Don't mention it."
Amanda stood up and made her way to the sink, dumping the last remnants of her coffee down the drain and rinsed her plate and fork. As she walked back towards the kitchen island and snatched the file folder, she sauntered up to Lee, who was still standing by the kitchen island, finishing his coffee.
Amanda reached out and placed her hand on his arm, gradually, rubbing her fingers along his arm.
"I know one thing you can do today."
Lee watched her, trying to control his fast heartbeat and his breathing as she stood so close to him. He could smell her rose scented body wash.
"You can work on unloading your stuff out of your suitcases. You know, get organized before you start work tomorrow."
Lee was kind of disappointed by her comment, imagining for sure she had something else in mind.
She leaned in and grazed her lips on his cheek, pulling away and moving towards where she was sitting at the kitchen island. She picked up the brown file folder and began to stroll out of the kitchen. Spinning around, she had one last thing to say to Lee before she left the house.
"Oh, and Lee?"
"Yeah?"
"About that spare bedroom… Don't worry about that. I enjoyed you just where you were last night."
And with that, Amanda grinned, winked at Lee, then continued out the front door to begin her chores for the day.
Lee was beaming ear to ear as he slowly thought to himself, "Man, she's going to be the death of me." He chuckled, taking another sip of his coffee.
As the days pushed ahead for Lee and Amanda, they instantly fell into a routine together. Amanda would wake up around 4:00 AM each morning to get things ready with the horses and the farm and Lee would wake up around 5:30 AM each morning to prepare himself for work. Lee would leave the house around 6:45 AM during the weekday to be at work by 7:00 AM and would be home around 6:15 PM. Amanda would spend her days working with the horses, dealing with clients who purchased or sold horses, paperwork, and taking care of the everyday work of her farm.
They had also fallen into a nightly routine of sharing a bed together. As they grew closer and began to understand more about each other, they became closer in their relationship together. This also included intimate moments between them as well, which they couldn't seem to get enough of.
About three weeks later, Lee came to Amanda and informed her that he had to go out of town that next week due to work for three weeks. He was traveling to the north-eastern part of the state, about two hours away, due to a new construction project beginning in that area. As much as he hated being away from Amanda, it was his responsibility for work.
Amanda understood and saw him off the next week early one morning. They had agreed that Amanda would take care of Ruby and Freckles for Lee while he was away.
Lee had told Amanda that he would call and check on her each evening and he made good on that promise for the first week. After that, his calls stopped, and she didn't hear from him. She figured he was just busy with work.
Amanda was out in the barn one morning, mucking out stalls, when a wave of nausea hit her. The nausea was so forceful it almost knocked her over. She reached out and grabbed hold of the closest thing near her, which was one of her horses, her Shire horse named Moose. She closed her eyes to center herself and breathe. After doing some deep breathing, she opened her eyes and gazed up towards Moose, giving him an immediate smile.
"Not sure what came over me, Moose."
She petted Moose's nose and gave him a short kiss. She continued mucking stalls until late that evening, making sure everything was taken care of and all the horses were ready for the evening.
That night as she prepared for bed, the wave of nausea hit her again. This time, she was standing at the kitchen counter, so she was able to brace herself. Again, she closed her eyes forcefully, clenching through the discomfort, until it passed.
Going to bed, she thought nothing of it and put it out of her mind.
The next morning, she awakened way earlier than her alarm was supposed to go off. She woke out of a jolt and abruptly rushed to the bathroom, puking in the toilet. She tried calming her breathing as Lee had told her to the last time that she was hungover, but it wasn't working. Anxiety hit.
Her breathing became ragged, and she strained to catch her breath. As she scanned around the room, she realized she needed her cell phone.
Still breathing hard, she crawled towards her nightstand and snatched her phone off her nightstand. She clicked on the screen and selected the first person she knew she needed to talk to.
Her finger pressed Lee's contact information and pushed "Call". She realized it was super early in the morning, but she needed to hear his voice. She put it on speakerphone as she rested on the icy marble floor, hearing the phone ring repeatedly.
No answer.
Amanda's breathing was still uneven, and she was getting herself worked up.
She pressed "Call" again and listened over and over as the phone rang.
No answer.
"Damn it, Lee! Answer!"
Her breathing was rapid, and she couldn't stop crying. The chilly marble floor felt welcoming as her breathing became much more challenging. Before she knew it, she could hear a wheezing sound, much like the time she had had a bad panic attack when Lee was with her that first day.
She tried once again to call Lee. She pushed "Call", unwilling to lift her head off the cold marble floor as she heard the phone ring over and over.
"Hello?" Lee's voice croaked out as she was sure he was woken from a deep sleep.
Still frozen on the floor with her eyes forcefully closed and tears streaming down her face, she cried his name with all the force she could between uneven breaths.
"Le… Lee…"
"Amanda?! What's wrong?" Lee was wide awake now as he heard Amanda on the other end of the phone call.
"I ca…. I can't…."
"Amanda, breathe!"
Her wheezing became louder, and she strained to catch her breath. Tears still flowed down her face.
Lee heard quietness on the other end.
"Amanda! Amanda, listen to me!"
"Lee…" She sobbed as she couldn't take a deep breath.
"Amanda, you got to breathe! Take deep breaths and try to calm down!"
Amanda, still resisting her breathing, started experiencing chest tightness and felt like a weight was resting on her chest. She was also becoming light-headed due to the loss of oxygen.
Silence.
"Amanda! Amanda!"
Silence.
"Amanda!"
Silence.
Lee, panicking, hung up with Amanda and calls 911. He informs them about Amanda blacking out due to hyperventilating and to send an ambulance immediately to her house.
Lee grabs his stuff in the room, throws it in his duffle bag, grabs his keys, and takes off outside his hotel room. He hastily runs to his work truck as he pushes the key in the ignition, starting the vehicle, and takes off down the road with his flashers on.
Once on his way, he calls his supervisor and informs him he won't be able to finish out his shift due to Amanda. His supervisor is furious and unreasonable. He tells Lee he can either come back or lose his job. Lee doesn't respond. He hangs up, throws his work phone across the cab of the truck, and floors it down the road, going faster. All he can think about now is Amanda.
An hour or so later, as Lee comes into town, he can see the local hospital up ahead. Flooring it and not slowing down, he turns the curve in town and skids the truck to a stop in front of the hospital entrance. He abruptly pulls into a parking spot and rushes inside as fast as his legs can take him.
Running inside and out of breath, he rushes up to the information desk. The nurse on duty is alarmed and tells him to calm down and catch his breath.
"What can I help you with, sir?"
"My wi- My… I mean, I need to know if Amanda West was brought in."
The nurse begins typing on the computer keys and pulls up some information.
"Yes sir. She was brought in about an hour and a half ago by ambulance."
"I need to see her."
"I'm sorry, sir. It's immediate family only. Are you, her husband?"
"No, I'm…. No. I need to see her, please!"
"I'm sorry sir, only immediate family only for right now. If you'd like to take a seat and wait, the doctor should be out in a while to give you an update."
"No! I'm not waiting! Now, are you going to let me see her or do I have to force my way back there?"
Lee slams his fist on the counter, clearly distraught.
"I'm sorry, sir. It's imm-"
"I don't care what it says! She doesn't have any family here! I'm her only family and I need to see her, please!"
Fortunately, there weren't too many other people in the waiting area, so Lee's loud scene wasn't heard by everyone in the hospital.
The nurse, taking a deep breath and typing again on the computer, studied Lee and quickly gave him a guest pass.
"Just don't let anyone know, okay? She's in room 212, just down the hall. Now, go before I change my mind."
Lee, grateful, took the guest pass, clipped it on his shirt, and expressed his gratitude to the nurse as he immediately ran down the hallway towards Amanda's room.
Seeing room 212, he bolted into the room and saw Amanda sitting up in bed, a doctor, and a nurse beside her examining her.
"Lee! Wha…"
Lee made his way over to Amanda, gripping her hand, not speaking a word.
The doctor and the nurse glimpsed at each other, and the doctor nodded for the nurse and him to leave to give them some privacy.
"Ms. West, we'll be back after a while to check on you. Please, just take it easy and get your rest."
The doctor smiled and headed out the door with the nurse, leaving Lee and Amanda in the room together.
"Lee, what are you…."
"Amanda, are you okay? I was talking to you on the phone, and it went silent. What happened?"
Amanda held her hand up in front of Lee to calm him down. She drew his hands towards hers and pulled him down on the bed to sit beside of her.
"Lee, I had a severe panic attack. I worked myself up into a fright and couldn't catch my breath. The doctor said I blacked out from a lack of oxygen to my brain. Fortunately, you called the paramedics, and they came within a few minutes of your call and transported me here to the hospital. I…"
"Amanda, why were you having a panic attack? Did something happen?"
"Well, to be honest, this isn't how I was picturing telling you this."
Amanda reflected out the window and then back to Lee. He was frozen still, staring at her, reluctant to let go until he knew she was okay.
"Tell me what? Oh, is it bad?"
"No, no. It's not bad… I…."
"Amanda, please, whatever it is, we can manage it together."
"Lee!"
Lee shut up and stopped talking, gazing into Amanda's brown eyes. He didn't see anger. He saw happiness.
"Amanda…." Lee uttered as he kept staring deep into her eyes.
Amanda looked down, trying to calm her fears, and then raised her eyes back at Lee.
"Lee…" She took a deep breath before continuing.
"Lee, I'm pregnant."
Lee stood totally still. He didn't waver or falter. He looked like he witnessed a ghost. He took a step back, a puzzled look appearing across his face. He ran a hand through his hair and then ran his hand over his face, uncertain if he heard Amanda accurately.
Looking back at Amanda, he saw a small smile form on her face.
He tried to speak, but nothing came out. He took a step back towards Amanda and attempted to speak again.
"You're… you're pregnant?"
Nodding, the smile grew wider.
Still, Lee was in shock. He took a step back and tumbled into the chair that was beside Amanda's bed. He held his hands up to his forehead, shutting his eyes, trying to process what Amanda told him.
It was like a lightbulb went off in Lee's mind. He instantly jumped up and grabbed Amanda's hands, gripping them strongly in his.
"Wait a minute… Let me get this straight. You're telling me that you're…pregnant…with my… our baby?"
Amanda quickly nodded; her eyes wide.
"But…how? When?"
"Lee… I shouldn't have to tell you the 'how'. Now, as for the 'when' part, well, you know…"
Amanda's face blushed.
Lee, still in shock, tried to think back. His mind flashed to the frequent times he and Amanda…
"Oh." That's all Lee could say as he gently sat down in the chair beside her bed.
Lee, peering back up at Amanda, smiled slightly as he was still trying to take in the news.
"So, you knew you were pregnant and had a panic attack?"
Amanda shot him with a look of reluctance.
"Not necessarily."
Lee was confused and gave her a muddled look.
"Well, how did you know?"
"I didn't… Not until I came to the hospital. See, yesterday, I was out in the barn mucking stalls and I was hit by a severe wave of nausea. I had to hang onto Moose so that I wouldn't fall. It was so intense, it about knocked me down. I didn't think anything of it, and it passed, so I went back to work. Then, last night, before bed, I had the same type of nausea. It passed quicker than before, so I didn't think about it. I figured it was just something I ate. Then, during the night, I was woken by severe nausea, and I ran into the bathroom and threw up. That's when I started getting afraid and panicked. That's when my panic attack set in, and I called you. The paramedics brought me here and the doctor ran some tests on me, and he informed me about the results before you came running in here."
"Oh Amanda, I'm so sorry I wasn't with you… how far along are you?"
Amanda examined her hands and then looked back at Lee's face.
"A month and two weeks. The doctor said I'm due sometime in mid-June."
Lee ran his hand back over his face, trying to process the information.
"So, this is really happening? This…"
Lee gestured his hand between them, and Amanda grinned gradually at him.
"Yeah…"
Amanda was worried that Lee would be upset since they weren't married. Even though it was both their fault for not using protection, she had been fearful that he would leave her. She wasn't sure if she could deal with that.
"How do you feel about this, Lee?"
Lee gave her a look of uncertainty.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean… Do you want this baby?" Amanda's face sank as she asked Lee the question.
Lee chuckled, blowing out his breath as he stood and walked around the room before answering Amanda.
Lee walked back to Amanda, sitting on the bed with her. He tilted her chin up so that they could study each other's eyes.
"Amanda, I'm not leaving you or the baby if that's what you're feeling. I love you, Amanda. This baby is an expression of our love for each other and I'm not going anywhere."
Lee's eyes filled with tears as he gazed into Amanda's eyes.
Before she could speak, there was a light tap on her door and the nurse came into the room.
"Ms. West, the doctor wanted me to let you know that we are going to release you within the next two hours. All your tests came back clear."
"Thank you."
With that, the nurse left, leaving Lee and Amanda in private.
"Home…" Lee whispered.
"Lee, I love you too."
They pulled each other in for a deep embrace, kissing and displaying to each other wordlessly how much they had missed each other over the last few weeks while they were apart.
Two hours later, Lee was directing Amanda out of the hospital in a wheelchair. He made it to his work truck outside in the parking lot and eased her up in the truck. He rolled the wheelchair back into the hospital and made his way back to the truck. He put the truck in drive and headed to Amanda's house.
As they made their way to Amanda's house, quietness filled the cab of the truck. Amanda watched out the window as the fields of corn were zipping across the passenger window as a blur.
They made it back to Amanda's house and Lee parked the truck outside Amanda's house. He helped her up the front porch and into the front door. He helped her upstairs to her bedroom.
As he made his way into her bedroom, he paused briefly as he looked around. The room was a disaster. The bed was unmade and thrown about, there were numerous clothes on the floor.
Realization hit Lee as he realized the paramedics had been there to take her to the hospital. On the floor below his feet was where she had passed out while on the phone with him.
"Lee…"
Amanda's whisper of his name lured him out of his thoughts.
"I'm fine."
Lee gave her a quick smile and assisted her to bed. He threw his shoes off and made his way around the other side of the bed, crawling in the large king bed and making his way right beside of Amanda. He took his hand in hers and rubbed the top of her hand.
"I'm sorry for taking you away from work. Was your supervisor understanding of why you had to leave so soon?"
Lee was drawing circles across her arm as he thought about how to tell Amanda about what occurred with his supervisor.
"Lee, what is it? What's wrong?"
"I, uh… I was fired this morning."
"Oh, Lee. I'm so sorry. I hope it wasn't my fault."
"No! No… let's just say my supervisor wasn't as 'understanding' as I expected him to be when I called him early this morning telling him I wouldn't be back for a week or so. He fired me over the phone."
"What are you going to do for a job?"
"Don't worry about that right now. Something will come up soon. Right now, I want to focus on you and the baby. How are you feeling? Do you need me to get you anything?"
Amanda glanced up into Lee's deep blue eyes. Like the deepness of the ocean, they were calling to her.
"Just hold me."
"I can do that."
Lee nestled Amanda up against his chest and held on for dear life. He wasn't letting this woman go. He would remain with her every step of the way, no matter what.
As the months passed, Lee and Amanda headed to her next monthly doctor's appointment.
Lee assisted Amanda into his Range Rover, as Lee didn't want Amanda driving herself. He pampered her and did everything for her.
Amanda was almost five months along and anyone who observed her knew she was pregnant.
As they walked into the doctor's office, Amanda signed in and went back to Lee, who was sitting in a chair. They only waited about 10-15 minutes before they were called back to the sonogram room.
Inside the room was an exam table with a white piece of tissue paper across it, an ultrasound machine, and a gown for Amanda to change into.
As Amanda took the gown, she told Lee to turn around so she could change.
"Amanda…Come on."
"Lee, turn around."
"Amanda… I've seen…"
"Lee, turn around!"
Lee laughed and turned around promptly, thinking how humorous it was that she was uncomfortable to get undressed in front of him, yet she was pregnant with his baby.
"Can I turn around yet?"
"Not yet! Eyes forward, mister!"
Lee chuckled again. "Okay, okay. Eyes forward."
Finally, Amanda told Lee he could turn around. She was wearing a light-colored pink gown that was tied to the back. As she jumped up on the exam table, the back of the gown came open, much to Lee's delight.
"I think I'm beginning to like these gowns…"
Lee reached out to rub her bare back, but Amanda smacked his hand, stopping him.
"Lee, just sit down and wait for the doctor to come in, huh?"
She pointed to a chair near the exam table and Lee strode over and took a seat.
Lee chuckled at Amanda as he sat down in the chair.
Before long, the doctor, Dr. Hudgins, and a nurse, entered the room and greeted Lee and Amanda.
"Good morning, Ms. West. How are you feeling today?"
"I'm doing well. Oh, I'd like you to meet my boyfriend, Mr. Lee Stetson."
Lee held his hand out and shook the doctor's hand.
"Doc."
"Mr. Stetson."
"Now, let's get you up on the exam table and see how that baby is doing, huh?"
As Amanda inclined back and laid down on the exam table, Lee watched as the doctor and nurse brought the ultrasound machine close to the exam table and powered it on.
As the machine powered on, a high-pitched humming noise was heard in the room. The doctor began to ask Amanda questions about food cravings, any problems she'd had, any pains she may have had. Amanda answered all his questions, and he checked the machine.
The doctor took some clear gel and squirted it on Amanda's stomach, moving it around. The room was darkened, and the doctor began to use the sonogram machine. As he nudged the wand around on Amanda's stomach, a loud heartbeat was heard throughout the room.
"That is your baby's heartbeat. Sounds strong. That's a good sign."
As the doctor continued pushing the wand around, he was checking the baby to see how its growth and progress was coming along.
As the appointment was ending, the doctor looked up at Amanda, who was staring at the screen. Lee had shifted over beside Amanda and was grasping her hand during the entire appointment.
"Alright Ms. West, are you wanting to know the gender now? Or wait until you give birth?"
Amanda glanced at the doctor and then looked at Lee.
"Do you want to know the gender today?" Amanda whispered to Lee as she paused for him to answer her.
"It's up to you." With Lee's comment, he kissed her delicately on her forehead.
Amanda turned back and nodded yes to the doctor, watching the screen.
"Alright, let's see if it's a boy or a girl, shall we?"
Moments later, the doctor took a picture of the baby, showing the gender. He congratulated the couple and gave them their privacy as the nurse finished up on the appointment.
As the nurse left and Amanda got dressed, Lee was so happy. He didn't think his heart could get any larger than it did for the love he had for Amanda, but now, he opened his heart to a baby that was created between them.
Amanda walked up to Lee, who was still staring at the small black and white sonogram picture in his hands.
Lee broke his gaze on the sonogram photo and peered up at Amanda, beaming from ear to ear. He pulled her in for a tight embrace.
"Well, what are your thoughts now that you know the gender?"
"I don't know about you but I'm glad we found out the gender. Now that we know what we are having, it'll be that much easier to plan the nursery and prepare for the arrival."
Lee, glancing down into Amanda's brown eyes, reached down and gently caressed her lips. He pulled back and stared at her, unsure how he got so fortunate to find this woman.
"I can't believe we're having a girl!"
Amanda grinned and kissed Lee back. She was astonished herself. When the doctor informed Lee and Amanda that they were having a girl, her mind raced back to the vision she had in her kitchen when Lee was cooking her breakfast the morning after she was hungover. Man, she had treated Lee terribly that morning. She had accused him of seducing her the night they came back from the bar, and she was sure he was going to leave and never come back. She was relieved he didn't leave. In her vision, she envisioned Lee playing with three little girls on Christmas morning.
"Lee, that little girl is going to have you wrapped around her finger."
"Oh, I know, I'm going to be in so much trouble when she gets older."
Both Lee and Amanda laughed and wandered arm and arm out of the doctor's office and headed back to Amanda's house.
Within the next few weeks, Amanda was upstairs working on getting one of the spare bedrooms remodeled as a nursery. She had decided to paint the walls a cream color, add new cream-colored see-through curtains that hung from ceiling to floor and add a rug that was a cream color. She kept the furniture simple – a cream-colored chair with some pillows and an ottoman, a cream-colored changing table, and a light tan wooden crib.
As she was moving the décor around in the room, she heard a light tap on the door behind her. It was Lee.
He beamed at Amanda as she turned around and gave him a gentle smile.
"Hi. You've been distant today."
Amanda turned around and strode towards him as Lee met her midway in the middle of the room.
"Yeah…" He let out a quick chuckle and reached for Amanda's hand, taking it in his and rubbing his fingers across her knuckles delicately.
"I've been doing some thinking…"
"About what?"
Lee gestured for her to take a seat on the chair in the corner of the room as he contemplated about what he wanted to say.
Lee took a forceful breath before he continued.
"Lee…What is it? You can tell me."
Lee continued clenching Amanda's hand in his, brushing her knuckles as he concentrated on how to say what he wanted to tell her.
"Amanda… You know that I have been looking for another job since being fired from my previous job."
"Yes…"
"And you know I've greatly appreciated staying here for the time being while I find that new job."
"Yes…"
Lee, getting frustrated, stood and rubbed his hand across his face, trying to regain his thoughts.
"Lee, are you trying to tell me you don't like living with me?"
"No, no, no. That's not it at all. I'm just… I'm wanting to tell you something, but I don't want it to come out incorrect or for you to take it the wrong way."
Amanda had a puzzled look on her face as Lee stood in the middle of the nursery.
"Amanda, I… I want you to know that I'm truly thankful to you for allowing me to stay here while I was working. And you know I've been looking for another job, but the job market is iffy right now in my line of work. I guess what I'm trying to say is… What do you think about me staying around the farm and working here with you? I've been giving it a lot of thought and I honestly can't see myself going back to engineering. I mean, you know how much I love horses."
Amanda sat still with a confused look across her face.
Lee bent down to make eye contact with her as he took her hand in his again.
"What do you think?"
"Let me get this straight. You want to end your engineering career to stay here on the farm and help me with the horses, right?"
Lee shook his head yes, giving Amanda a slight smile.
"And we'd be working together and living together essentially 24/7?"
Lee continued shaking his head, still smiling at Amanda.
Amanda looked deep in thought for a moment before she shot Lee a massive grin and began laughing.
"What's so funny?" Lee was clearly baffled now at Amanda's change.
"Lee…"
Amanda placed her two hands on both sides of Lee's face, holding his concentration while staring deep into his blue eyes.
"You know how much I love you. I don't care if you stay here and work or if you go off to California to work on an engineering job. I want you to do what makes you happy. If being here with me makes you happy, then of course I'm not going to argue."
Lee felt like a big load had been taken off his shoulders with Amanda's response. He yanked her in for an embrace, pulling her as close to him as possible. As they broke their kiss, they leaned their foreheads together, staring into each other's eyes, unwilling to end this moment between them.
Before they knew it, May came, along with the beginning of summer, and Amanda's due date was just over a month away.
Lee and Amanda had been working a lot due to the pending birth, as they knew Amanda would have to take time off from the farm and the horses until she was able to come back to work.
They had completed the nursery, and everything was ready to go when the baby arrived. Her bags were packed for the hospital as well. Now, they waited for the arrival of their baby girl.
One day as Amanda was working in her office out in the barn, Lee walked up to the door frame, knocking, and coming inside, closing the door behind him to give them some privacy.
"What's up?"
"Amanda, I want to ask you something."
"Okay, go ahead."
She set her pen down that she had been writing with and closed her file folder, giving Lee her full attention.
"Have you told your mother you are expecting?"
Amanda wasn't anticipating that question from Lee.
She waited a moment before she answered.
"No, but I don't see how that's any of your business."
Lee was slightly dismayed at her attitude with him.
"Our baby isn't any of my business?"
Amanda didn't mean to sound rude about it. Lee had just caught her at a bad time, and she wasn't in the greatest mood. Adding her mother into the equation only fueled the fire.
"That's not what I meant, Lee."
"Well, it sure sounded that way. What's your problem?"
"I don't have a problem. I'm just trying to get things done around here before this baby comes. Is that too difficult to ask for?"
"If its something I can help you with, you know I will. I don't want you working and stressing yourself out before our daughter arrives in less than two weeks."
"No, I can do it. You don't have to worry about it."
"Maybe I want to worry about it."
With his statement, Amanda shot Lee a look. Lee could see the anger growing deep in her brown eyes.
He rose up and moved behind Amanda, trying to get her to realize to take a break and go with him on a walk.
"Come on."
Amanda sat still in her chair, looking up at Lee.
"What?"
"Come on. We're going for a walk and getting some fresh air."
Since they'd been together, Lee had figured out a way to calm Amanda down before her "fight or flight" stance made its appearance.
Lee clutched Amanda's arm and pulled her up from her desk, moving beside her as they made their way out of the office and outside to begin their walk along the expansive property.
As they walked, the sun was shining, and it was a gorgeous, warm summer day. The warmness felt nice on Amanda's arms, and she appreciated walking with Lee.
Lee pulled Amanda close to him as they continued walking. She inclined her head against his shoulder, loving his embrace.
Before long, they had walked about three miles from the house and made their way under a tree that shaded them from the sun.
Lee helped Amanda to sit down, since she was nearly nine months pregnant now.
As Lee sat down, Amanda was taken aback about the place Lee had led them to under the tree.
"Okay, how did you know?"
Lee, clearly puzzled, wasn't sure what Amanda was talking about.
"Know what?"
"How did you know that this tree has a special place in my heart?"
"I…I had no idea, honest."
"You mean, you brought me out here, chose this tree to sit under, and didn't know it held an importance in my life?"
"Yeah."
"Okay, that's just eerie." Amanda let out a small laugh as she peeked up at the tree and the sun radiating through the leaves above them, closing her eyes for a moment and enjoying the warmth and calmness.
"Why does this tree hold a special place in your heart?"
Amanda, opening her eyes, looked back at Lee, and extended her hand out to hold his hand.
"As you know, growing up, I didn't have many friends and I didn't get along with a lot of people. The day after my father died, I didn't want to be in the house any longer. I began walking the large fields and just surveying the farm and came upon this huge oak tree. It was so massive when I saw it. I went up to it, sat under it and just looked up at the limbs and leaves. It was so enticing. After that, any time I'd get upset or something was bothering me, I'd make my way out here to this tree and just sit under it and enjoy the peace and quiet."
"I love you, Amanda."
He pulled Amanda in for a brief kiss, allowing her to enjoy their peaceful time under the large oak tree.
Amanda gazed back at Lee, reflecting on how blessed she was to have this magnificent man in her life.
"I love you too, Lee."
Lee and she sat together for a while before they agreed to head back to the house. They knew their lives would change over the next two weeks once their daughter was born. Both wanted to enjoy their quality time together.
As it was reaching nighttime, Lee decided it was best to head back to the house. Amanda had dozed off in Lee's arms.
"Amanda? Wake up."
"Hmm?"
"Come on, it's getting dark. We need to get home."
Lee stood and reached out to help Amanda up. Since she was about nine months pregnant, it was challenging for her to stand up on her own.
As Amanda finally stood, she felt a trickle of fluid and she glanced down and then back at Lee, who had already began walking just a few feet ahead of her.
"Uh oh."
Lee, who overheard Amanda's comment, turned around and made his way back to Amanda.
"Did you just say, 'uh-oh'"?
Amanda nodded slowly, panic spreading across her face.
"Lee…my water just broke."
Lee, alarm setting in, began stressing out, stepping back and forth, unsure of what to do.
"Oh gosh, okay, just remain calm!"
"Lee…"
"Oh, we got to get back to the house. Okay, just breathe and remain calm, Amanda!"
"Lee…"
"Okay, think Lee, think." Lee continued walking, oblivious of Amanda trying to get his attention.
"Lee!"
Lee stopped pacing, jumping at Amanda's elevated voice.
"We need to get back to the house and get to the hospital. Now, do you have your cell phone on you?"
"Cell phone, right."
Lee wrenched his cell phone out of his pocket, looking at the screen, his hands trembling.
"Damn!"
Amanda, somewhat alarmed, glanced at Lee.
"I don't have cell service out here."
"Okay, don't panic. We need to get to the house."
"Can you walk?"
"I can walk. I just don't want to have contractions start before I get back to the house. Otherwise, I won't be walking when a contraction hits, so that'll slow us down."
With that, Lee and Amanda began the long three miles back towards the house.
Within 20 minutes of leaving the oak tree, it was just about night. Lee was using his cell phone as a flashlight to see where they were walking.
About 10 minutes later, Amanda halted and drew in a quick, uneven breath. She shut her eyes strongly and frowned in pain.
"Amanda!"
Amanda shook her head, keeping her eyes tightly closed.
"Con… contraction."
Lee held onto her, bracing her, and helping her through the contraction.
Amanda calmed her breathing and focused on the contraction.
"Are you okay?"
Amanda nodded, giving Lee the all clear.
Eventually, it passed, and they resumed walking towards the house.
Since they were walking in the pitch dark and in a large field with nothing but Lee's cell phone to direct them, walking was very slow. The darkness of night made it challenging for them to see where they were moving, as the fields were not mowed or maintained.
30 minutes had passed, and another contraction hit Amanda.
"Breathe, Amanda. You're okay."
Amanda was panting, trying to work through the forceful contraction. She clutched onto Lee with everything she could.
"Lee… I, I don't think I can do this."
"Well, it's a little late for that, huh? This baby is coming whether you think you can do it or not."
Amanda and Lee chuckled as the contraction finally halted.
"Can you continue walking? I think we are about halfway there."
"Ye…Yeah."
Lee and Amanda resumed walking.
About 20 minutes later, another contraction hit Amanda. This one was a lot more powerful than the last two. She lunged out and grabbed Lee's shoulder, crushing her hand into his shoulder blade with all the strength she could, as Lee grated his teeth in pain.
"Amanda, breathe."
"I… I ca…I can't, Lee."
"Amanda…"
Lee held Amanda up as she kept her eyes strongly shut, tears flowing down her face. He helped her sit down due to the extreme pain.
Without recognizing it, Amanda worked herself into a panic and was on the edge of having a panic attack.
Her breathing was rough, and she fought to catch her breath. Her mind raced back to that night she was alone without Lee and sought him to be there with her.
"Amanda! Breathe!"
"Le… Lee…. I…."
"Amanda, you have to breathe!"
Everything grew silent around Amanda as her mind raced as she sped back to that moment in her bedroom when she called Lee and couldn't get ahold of him. She tried and tried to call him, and he wouldn't answer. Why wouldn't he answer? She couldn't breathe. An immense heaviness felt like it was resting on her chest. Her breathing was sharp, and she could hear herself gasping. Why was Lee not with her? She couldn't do this without him! She needed Lee there with her. She called out and he didn't answer. Tears spilled down her cheeks as she lay on the cold ground, unwilling to move, powerless to take a breath.
A roaring sound was heard, and she could overhear Lee weakly saying her name.
"Amanda! Amanda, can you hear me?!"
His voice became booming as she was drawn back to the present.
Amanda took a deep breath and her eyes darted open, adjusting to the blackness around them, and she saw Lee standing inches from her face, tears running down his face.
"Lee?" Her voice was barely a whisper and very hoarse. She was still breathing forcefully and attempting to catch her breath.
"Amanda, just keep breathing. I'm here."
Lee took her in his arms and rocked her back and forth to calm her down.
"Lee… what…"
"You blacked out on me, Amanda. Now listen, we've got to take you home. Just rest here for a little bit and then we can try to walk some more, okay?"
Amanda nodded and closed her eyes as Lee held her close.
A little while later, Lee asked if she could stand, and he helped her up. They began gradually walking towards the house. They weren't too far away.
Another contraction hit and Amanda ceased moving, holding onto Lee for dear life.
A low growl was heard deep in Amanda's throat as she pushed through the pain of the contraction.
"That's it, just work through it, Amanda. Just breathe."
Her breathing was hurried, and she just wanted to make it home and get to the hospital to deliver this baby.
A thought entered her mind, and she glanced up at Lee like she was frightened for her life.
"Lee… What if… what if we don't make it home before this baby comes?"
"Hey, don't think like that. We'll make it. Don't worry."
"I'm serious, Lee! We've never delivered a baby before…"
"Amanda, don't worry. We'll make it."
Lee and Amanda resumed walking until finally, they saw the lights from the house off in the distance.
"Look, we're almost there. Once we make it to the house, I'll call for an ambulance and we can get you to the hospital to get this little one delivered."
Lee continued holding Amanda as they slowly made their way to the house.
Just outside the barn, Amanda had another contraction. She reached out and held herself up against the barn wall. She didn't have the will to continue. Her body was exhausted, and she was mentally and physically drained.
As she slipped slowly down the wall and onto the hard ground below her, Lee reached out and held her up.
"Amanda!"
"Lee, I can't do this. I can't!"
"Amanda, listen to me. You can do this, okay? You are the most amazing, beautiful woman I've ever met in my life. Now, you are giving me the gift of a beautiful daughter and I don't know about you, but I'm eager to meet her."
"No, I can't. Just…just leave me here. I, I can't…"
Amanda was weeping and Lee clutched her as she wept. He knew she was frightened. Here, a woman who constantly held a wall around her was now vulnerable and terrified.
"Listen, tell you what – I'm going to run inside and call for an ambulance and we can get you to the hospital, okay? I'll be right back, alright?"
"Lee…"
"I'll be right back, Amanda! Just stay there!"
Lee took off in a full run towards the house, leaving Amanda just outside the barn on the ground. She realized the contractions were getting closer each time.
As she surveyed out into the darkness, she felt so alone. Her mind took her back to the day after her father died. She was isolated in the world with no one to talk to, no one to confide in. The day she found out her father died, she was so bitter and angry. She had ran off and leapt on a horse and took off into the wide-open field to empty her mind. Tears streamed down her face as she cried and cried. She wanted her father back with her and he was never coming back. Her heart was shattered, and she closed herself off to everyone. She didn't want to love again for fear of her heart breaking again. She couldn't handle the loss of someone she loved so profoundly. Her mind then rushed to meeting Lee at the bar that one evening. She had been so cold to him, but he remained. He sat with her, and they slowly fell in love. She had learned to open her heart again to someone so loving and compassionate as Lee. Now, their baby was arriving, and her heart would have another person to love as well – their newborn daughter.
"Amanda!"
Amanda's eyes opened and she observed Lee crouching down in front of her.
"The ambulance is on its way. It'll be here in just a little bit. Just focus on the pain and we'll be at the hospital shortly, okay?"
Lee held her and didn't let her go until the ambulance arrived and he guided them to the barn. The paramedics loaded her into the ambulance and Lee told Amanda he'd be behind them in his vehicle. Within minutes, they reached at the hospital and rolled Amanda back to delivery.
Lee arrived and made his way over to Amanda who was resting on a bed, being prepared to deliver their daughter.
Dr. Hudgins entered shortly and said they were almost ready. The contractions were getting faster, and the baby would be here soon.
Within minutes, another contraction hit, and the doctor looked over at Amanda, then glimpsed back at the nurse.
"Alright people, it's go time. Are we ready, Amanda? Lee?"
Amanda, unwilling to open her eyes, breathed forcefully through clenched teeth, and nodded to the doctor that she was ready.
"Alright, here we go. Now, Amanda, I want you to push when I say three, okay? 1, 2….3!"
"Ahhhhhhh!"
Lee held her hand and coached her all the way through.
"Good…" After about 8 seconds, the doctor had her rest.
Amanda stopped pushing, trying to capture her breath.
"Alright, Amanda, I want you to push again when I say three, okay? 1, 2…3!"
Amanda pressed with all her might as she concentrated on the delivery and kept her breathing calm. Lee was right beside her, cheering her on.
"Nice…Now, just relax and take deep breaths, okay?"
Amanda lay back on the bed, eyes closed, taking powerful breaths, trying to remain calm. She kept inwardly telling herself that she could do this. Lee continued whispering to her that she could do this.
"Alright Amanda, one more big push and we are almost there, okay? I want you to push again when I say three, okay? 1, 2…3!"
Amanda, exasperated but willing to try again, thrust with all her power that she could muster.
"Perfect! Now, just a couple of more pushes and you'll be meeting your newborn baby girl. Alright, I want you to push when I say three… 1, 2, 3!"
Somewhere deep inside, she wasn't sure where, Amanda had a flood of energy and pressed with as much vigor as she could before collapsing on the bed behind her.
"You're doing great, Amanda." Lee whispered in her ear as he continued encouraging her.
"Two more pushes, Amanda, and this baby will be here, okay? Now, push on three… 1, 2, 3!"
Amanda, pushing with all the strength that her body had, squealed out as the pain was so powerful, her body was at its breaking point.
"One more deep push and your daughter will be here."
"I can't…"
Amanda pleaded between irregular breaths as Lee pulled her face towards his, staring deep into her eyes.
"Amanda, look at me! You can do this, okay? One last push and our daughter will be with us. I know it's difficult, okay?"
"Amanda…" The doctor spoke to get her attention.
"Listen to Lee. One more push and you'll have your daughter with you in your arms. Now, I want you to push as hard as you can on three, okay? 1, 2….3!"
Again, she didn't know where it came from, but she pushed with as much strength and determination as she could that she thought her body would split in two. As she shouted out in the room, the pain brought Amanda to the very end of herself. She was at the complete mercy of her body, consumed by intense pain and desperate for those around her to help.
And then…a faint cry was heard.
Amanda's pain faded as she focused on her daughter howling and everything faded around her except her, Lee, and their newborn daughter.
She gleamed over at Lee, who was crying and beaming at her, as he kissed her forehead, so proud of her and astonished by her willpower.
As she laid back on the bed to regain her strength, the nurses prepared the baby and positioned her in Amanda's arms as tears flooded down Amanda's face.
The baby was still crying, unsure of where she was or how she got here, as Amanda and Lee held onto each other, lost in their own world together, enjoying their newborn daughter.
Lee, scanning Amanda's eyes, spoke softly.
"You did it, Amanda. I love you so much."
Between sobs, Amanda and Lee kissed.
"I love you too Lee, so much."
Hours later, Amanda was resting in her hospital bed and watching closely at the baby asleep in her arms. She couldn't get over the fact that this was her newborn daughter… her and Lee's baby.
As she heard the door open, she peeked up, seeing Lee moving into the room, with a smirk plastered on his face.
"Hey…"
"Hi…"
"How are you feeling?"
Lee reached out and pushed a stray piece of hair out of Amanda's eyes as she looked up into Lee's dark blue eyes.
"I'm…wonderful."
"Well, I'm very glad to hear that. Listen, I, uh…I have a surprise for you."
Amanda gave Lee a baffled look. A surprise for her?
"A surprise?"
"Yeah, now just sit there and relax and I'll be right back, okay?"
Before Amanda could object, Lee was out of the room, the door shutting behind him.
Moments later, Lee walked into the room and held the door, glancing back behind him.
Amanda looked up and saw the woman appear in the room behind Lee. Her breath caught in her throat.
"Mother!"
There, standing in the doorway of her hospital room, stood her mother, Dotty West.