Chapter 2: Sirius, Meet Isobel.

Thanks for all the reviews.

It's still not as funny as I'd like, but I'm hopeful that it will turn that way soon.

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His birthday was lackluster. He got a few gifts from his friends at midnight as usual, but he noticed that he wasn't getting any letters from them that said anything important. He tried writing to Sirius and Remus, and Hermione and Ron. But none of them were telling him anything of importance. Just 'Hi. How are you?' and 'Be safe." and 'Do as you're told.' and stuff like that, but nothing of significance.

There was a reason for that, but he couldn't remember what it was. he was sure it had something to do with the headmaster. There was a reason he didn't like that man.

Well, that was harsh, but possibly valid. He was sure his memories of the man were bungled. He didn't have many fond memories of him, but there really weren't any bitter memories of him either. Just an overwhelming emotion of distrust.

He read the back issues of the Daily Prophet he had laying around in his room and realized that this was the year that they were satirizing him and Dumbledore in the newspaper, calling him mentally unstable and crazy.

Isobel kindly reminded him that he was barmy. What a nice snake she was. Never one to let him get a big head.

That made him understand that this was going to be a bad year at Hogwarts. He vaguely remembered that his fourth year was just as bad with the torments and the jeers, and he lived through that, so he didn't think his fifth year would be so terrible either.

He hoped.

It only took petrifying Vernon twice more for him to get the hint. Dudley was too terrified of snakes to come anywhere near Harry if he thought the snake was there.

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It was August 2nd when the Dementors came. He was arguing with his cousin in the playground, who thought the snake was at the house. His cousin's gang had disappeared, and it was him and Dudley walking home. The clouds came and it got cold. That's when he remembered the Dementors were coming.

Isobel was wrapped around his waist, under his oversized shirt. "They're here, Harry. Get that fat lump out of here," she hissed as she snuck her head outside of his collar, causing Dudley to scream. He was scared of the snake.

"Dudley. Run, run, go home as fast as you can," Harry said, waving his arms frantically above his head, making shooing motions. He could see them coming down from the sky. They were making the entire area to be freezing and depressing.

Dudley didn't even think twice. He turned and ran as fast as he could. Which wasn't very fast, considering how out of shape and fat he was. But was faster than Harry thought he could.

Harry turned and ran the other way, hoping the Dementors would chase him and leave his cousin alone. He ran into an alley away from everybody, including any muggles that were around.

"What are you doing, Harry? They are following you," Isobel hissed in his ear. She was feeling the pressure of the demons worse than any human.

"I'm getting away from the muggles," he said as he continued to run. It was getting colder by the second.

"Oh," she said, tightening her coils around him as she felt the cold. It almost paralyzed her. She was a cold-blooded animal. She required heat to survive. Harry's warmth helped a small bit.

When he got further into the alley to where there was nobody to be seen, he stopped and waited for the Dementors to follow him. There were two of them, and it got so cold that he could see his breath. He readied his wand and waited for them to approach. He could hear the woman scream and knew that it was his mother. He could hear his father saying to take him and run. He heard the entire scenario play out the day his parents died.

"Snap out of it, stupid. You need to cast the spell, or they will kill us both," Isobel snapped as well as a snake can snap. She lifted her head and stunned the demons. She couldn't kill them, they were already dead, but she could stun them.

"Expecto Patronum!" he yelled. His Patronus Charm erupted from the end of his wand. Prongs pranced around the alley, larger than ever before and more solid than he was during Harry's school years. He pranced over to them and started killing the Dementors were they were floated stunned. He was prancing on their remains until there was little left. Only the cloaks remained.

"Take those," Isobel said to Harry. "They may be the proof you need."

So, Harry picked them up and shoved them in his oversized pants leg.

Having done what he needed to do, Harry dismissed Prongs, left the alley, and started walking home, only to run into Mrs. Figg. She started chastising him for casting spells. She hadn't seen the Dementors, only the Patronus Charm.

"Who the fuck is this busy body?" Isobel hissed in his ear.

"You ate her cat," Harry whispered back. "Now hush."

"Whyever did you cast the magic, you stupid boy?" Mrs. Figg was saying, grabbing his arm and pulling him along. She didn't see Isobel, who had wrapped herself around Harry's waist again.

"You didn't see the Dementors?" he asked, vaguely remembering that she was a squib.

"Dementors? What foolishness are you talking about, boy?" she said, dragging him along. She was in her housecoat and slippers and looking around like something spooked her.

"There were Dementors here. Why else would I cast the Patronus Charm?" he asked indignantly. He thought about showing the cloaks but decided not to. She might not believe him, and it wasn't worth the argument.

"I thought you were showing off for somebody," she said, as if it were obvious. It's what teenagers did.

"You've known me for how long? When have I ever done that?" he asked, looking at her like she was barmy.

"Well, that's true," she said, looking around, seeing nobody else. Then she gathered her housecoat around her and agreed that it was rather cold. "It is rather chilly out here," she said. "I'll have to take your word for it that there are Dementors. Oh, I could just kill Mundungus Fletcher."

"Who's that?" Harry asked, having a fleeting memory of a dirty man and a thief.

"He's supposed to be watching you," she said, still dragging him along.

"Watching me?" he asked, having forgotten about that. The Order of the Phoenix. Useless bunch of wankers. He wondered why Isobel didn't smell them, then realized she wouldn't look out for anyone just hanging around outside, they might be neighbors. That and she never left his side.

They were going to have to be more on guard. He was going to have to find a way to get rid of the trace. Or get Dobby sooner than he planned. Having a house elf would be advantageous.

"Yes, he's supposed to be keeping an eye on you to make sure things like this don't happen," she explained, stopping pulling his arm and letting him walk himself since they were in view of his house.

"I didn't know anybody was watching me," said Harry. He was upset about this. He had been going about his business not knowing there were people observing him. They might report his doings to the headmaster. He didn't want that.

"Don't you worry about it. You just get home and wait for word from Dumbledore," she said, like it was the only thing he could do.

"I'm going to be having words with Dumbledore about this," said Harry in a firm tone.

"You just get home and wait for word," said Mrs. Figg. She marched him to his house and left him there.

Aunt Petunia, Uncle Vernon and Dudley were sitting in the living room. Dudley was telling them that Harry had scared him. They were about to confront him when Isobel poked her head out and hissed at them. The magical man/teen just ignored them and walked up the stairs. He made it to his bedroom unmolested and an owl flew in with a letter saying that the Ministry was going to come and take his wand.

He waited a minute. Then he waited 10 more. There was no letter from Dumbledore. He was sure there should have been a letter from the old man, but there was not. So, he did the only logical thing he could think of, and he packed up his stuff and headed for Sirius's place.

He didn't know exactly where his godfather lived, but he had a vague general direction because he had lived there himself for 10 years after Voldy had died. He caught the Knight Bus and waited outside Grimmauld Place. He didn't have the secret, so he just sat there and waited for somebody to recognize him, knocking on the wards. He had been a curse breaker for over 18 years after all, he knew how-to knock-on wards.

He might have to explain how he knew how to knock on them, but that was for later. He could feel them, and he could probably tear them down if he wanted to, but that would give up the game way too soon.

While they waited, Harry and Isobel had a small talk.

"No petrifying anyone," Harry said to his snake.

"Why the fuck not?" she demanded. It was something she enjoyed doing.

"Because I want to save that for emergencies," he stated, sighing in frustration. "Like Snape and Umbridge," he added. "Besides, we might run out of Mandrake Potion." He was thinking of Molly Weasley and her tendencies to piss off anyone who didn't conform to her ways. Or Ron and his close-mindedness. Or Hermione and her know-it-all ways. Those all might make Isobel… twitchy.

"Fine, but I'm going to threaten to bite anyone who pisses me off," she stated, and then curled around his waist again. It was warmer there.

Sirius came out in his Grimm form and waited with him. He sniffed and smelled the snake, but he didn't say anything. He would wait until his godson told him why he smelled like the reptile. There had to be a good explanation. He wondered if he had picked up a gardener snake to keep him company. He knew the boy was a parselmouth.

They waited for about 10 minutes until Dumbledore showed up with the note saying that 'The Order of the Phoenix assembles at #12 Grimmauld Place.' "Come quickly," the old man said, escorting them inside.

The three of them went inside the house after #12 appeared out of nowhere. Moving the two houses on either side out of the way.

"Whyever are you here, my dear boy?" asked Dumbledore as they came into the dingy hall. It was a dark hall with peeling wallpaper and dim lighting. It looked like no one had cleaned the hall in decades. Even the portraits were dirty. You couldn't see who was in them, they were so grimy.

They were standing crowded in the entryway and not moving forward, like the old man didn't want Harry to go any further.

"There were Dementors that showed up at my place," said Harry, setting down his trunk and shrugging. "They tried to suck up my soul. I had to use magic to defend myself." He wasn't going to tell them he killed them. He was saving that for later.

"Dementors, you say?" asked Dumbledore, stroking his beard and peering over his glassed as if the man/teen were lying. When he saw that the boy was not he added, "That is most unusual." He was confused. That was knowledge that he should know. Something that should have been told to him right away. Either by Snape or Arthur, or even Arabella. Then again, she couldn't get ahold of him here.

"Yes, I came here because the ministry said they were coming to take my wand," Harry stated. He handed them the note.

Dumbledore took the letter and read it. "How did you know where here was?" asked the old man, peering over his spectacles at the teen. As far as he knew Harry had no knowledge of this place.

"I told him," said Sirius, covering for his godson. He'd not let Harry get in trouble if he could help it.

"That was most dangerous of you, my dear boy," said Dumbledore with a chastising look to the escapee.

"He is my godson," said Sirius, glaring at the old man, who was not his favorite person right now. He had let his house be overrun by Order members. That harpy had taken over and arguments were a daily thing now. Well, it did make for nonboring days.

"Yeah," said Harry. "I'm his godson. I'm allowed to know where he lives." He grinned at his godfather. Even if he was mentally older than the man.

Dumbledore just shook his head sadly, read the note again and said, "I will go see what I can do about this. Stay here for now."

"Like I've got anywhere else to go," Harry grumbled.

With that, Dumbledore left.

"Come on, Harry, I've got a place for you to put your stuff," Sirius said, leading him up the stairs. He still wanted to know why the boy smelled like snake.

Harry grabbed his trunk, dragged it behind him, patted Isobel on his waist, and headed up the stairs. They passed the shrieking portrait, but Harry ignored her. Because she was behind some curtains and the shrieks were muffled. The curtains suddenly burst open. Isobel poked her head out and petrified the portrait when the first shrill shriek sounded. She ducked her head back into Harry's shirt unnoticed by everybody but the man/teen.

"Dear Merlin, what happened?" asked Sirius, seeing his mother frozen solid. It was blessed silence.

"Beats me," said Harry with a shrug. "I just got here." He tried to look innocent. He really didn't want to have this conversation in the hall.

"That's my mother. We haven't been able to get her to stop screeching since I got here. Here you show up and she suddenly stops. What did you do?" Sirius asked, not the least bit upset, just curious.

"I didn't do anything," said Harry, completely honest.

"You had to have done something, Harry." He was looking at Harry with awe and a bit of worship.

"I swear, on my honor I didn't do anything," the man/teen said, making an 'I promise' gesture.

"I've got my eye on you," said Sirius, jokingly. Even though he really was going to keep an eye out for any other miracles.

"Just let's go to my room," said Harry, sighing in relief.

Sirius just gave him the hairy-eye and took him to his room. It was up two flights of stairs. He opened the door with a flourish. It was a plain room, that was done up in browns and golds. There was a bed, a nightstand, a lamp, a dresser, and a desk. The curtains, linens, and rugs were clean and in good condition.

"Here you go, Harry. It's not much, but it's clean. I knew you'd be coming sometime this summer, and had the house elf, Kreacher, clean it. He's not much of a house elf, but he does what he's told if you yell at him enough," Sirius said, plopping down on a chair and waving around the room.

"That doesn't speak well of you, that you have to yell at your house elf to get anything done," said Harry, letting his trunk hit the floor and sitting on the bed.

"Let's just say me and my house elf don't like each other," said Sirius, leaning forward and getting an intense look on his face. "Now tell me what you did to my mum's portrait."

"I've got a secret. Well, it's not going to remain a secret much longer, I suppose, but I'll tell. Well, I'll show you. Isobel, show yourself," said Harry, looking down and speaking to his shirt.

Isobel poked herself out of his shirt and showed herself to Sirius. "Boo," she hissed.

"Oh, my fucking god, is that a bloody basilisk?" the dogman said, falling from his chair, scrambling up and slamming himself against the wall. He knew there was a snake, but not a fucken basilisk.

"Yep," said Harry.

"How do you have a bloody basilisk hanging around your waist? And how am I not dead?" the dogman yelled, brandishing his wand.

"She's my best friend in the whole wide world," said Harry, petting his familiar. "She doesn't kill anybody unless I ask her to. Which I would never do," he added quickly. "Well, maybe Voldemort," he mumbled.

"That would be one way to kill him," conceded Sirius. But he was still backed up against the wall and not coming any closer to Harry.

"I promise you, Sirius, she will not hurt you," Harry said, beckoning him forward.

"Harry, that is the deadliest snake in the world. One of the deadliest animals in the world. I'm not coming anywhere near, no matter what you say," his terrified godfather stated, still holding his wand in front of him.

"Don't you trust me?" asked Harry. He wasn't hurt. He'd gone through this with many people in the future. Very few people trusted Isobel.

"Of course, I trust you, Harry. It's her I don't trust," Sirius whinged, he didn't want Harry to think he didn't trust him, but damn. It was a basilisk.

"Then trust me when I say that she will not hurt you," the man/teen stated one more time.

Sirius seemed to think really hard on that. And then he swallowed his pride, swallowed physically, and came forward and put his hand out. He touched the basilisk's nose.

She stuck her tongue out and smelled him and then just stood still. "Fucking wuss," she hissed, good-naturedly. She too was quite used to this.

"OK, I take your word that she's not going to hurt me, but it doesn't mean I like snakes any more than I did 5 minutes ago," he said, withdrawing his hand and moving away from the snake.

"Point," said Harry.

"OK, so you have a basilisk. How are you gonna keep that a secret?" Sirius asked, hoping the teen was going to do just that.

"I'm not," said Harry.

"They're going to try and kill her," said Sirius.

"She's my bonded familiar. They can't."

"How did you bond with the basilisk? How did you even find her?" was the incredulous question.

"That's a tricky question that I can't answer, yet. My story is that she appeared at my relatives' house and bonded with me and I'm going to stick to it," Harry said, shifting his eyes to the side many times.

"Is it the truth?" was the question.

"How good is your Occlumency?" asked Harry out of nowhere.

"Not as good as it could be since Azkaban, but not bad," was the answer.

"Once you get it shored up, I'll let you know," the time traveler stated, petting Isobel on the chin.

"I can keep out Dumbledore, but I can't keep out Snape," Sirius said, proudly. It was quite a feat.

"Are you saying that Snape is a better Legilimens than Dumbledore?" Harry asked, quite shocked. He thought it was the other way around.

"Believe it or not, yes."

"Well, I'll be buggered."

"Not by me you won't."

"That's not even funny, godfather of mine."

"I thought it was fucking hilarious."

"You've got a sick sense of humor."

"Anyway, let's go to the dining room and see if there's anything left to eat."

"If there's not, I can always cook something. I'm a really good cook if I do say so myself and I didn't eat dinner," said Harry, his tummy grumbling. He remembered he needed to feed Isobel soon too. There had to be a rat around here somewhere. Maybe that house elf, Kreacher was it? could scrounge one up.

"Right. The Dementors. I'd forgotten about that. What were Dementors doing in Little Whinging?" his godfather asked, looking at him to make sure he was okay.

"Beats me. All I know is they were there," Harry said, with a shrug.

"I think there is more to this story than you're telling me," Sirius said, giving him the stink-eye.

"Sure. Shore up your Occlumency and I will tell you," his godson promised him.

"Give me a day or two and I promise you I'll keep out Snape," was the promise.

"That's all you'll need? A day or two?" Harry asked in disbelief.

"I'm telling you, it's not that bad."

"Fine, I'll tell you after dinner then."

"Works for me."

"Good, Let's go. I'm starving," Harry said, his stomach letting them know he was speaking the truth.