Part 2

"Ava, come on," Beatrice's prompt took her out of her slumber.

They switched vehicle for the third time (or was it the fourth?). The details were blurry, Ava barely kept up with what was going on. It was like being caught in a loop, driving for a while, changing cars with different OCS operatives, driving again.

Ava couldn't hold a thought still. Had it all really happened? Had she unleashed a malevolent entity onto the world?

Maybe this was just a bad dream…

She closed her eyes and forced air into her lungs in a vain attempt to calm herself down. The idea that people got hurt, were getting hurt because of her weighted on her chest like an anvil.

She glanced at the others in the car. Beatrice probably felt her gaze and she glanced back, the thin line of her lips not really managing to form a reassuring grin. She hadn't addressed Ava except to give her quick orders when they had had to change car.

Ava didn't bother asking questions, her guts told her that she wouldn't get any answers. Beatrice and the others kept getting instructions whispered in their ears. She only had their sides of the conversation where the words 'protocol', 'breach', 'betrayal', 'compromise' were coming back repeatedly.

They also talked about her, if Beatrice's furtive glances were any indication. Upon realizing she was purposefully being kept out of the loop, Ava had simply tuned out their voices.

They had made it through the night.

In fact, the sun had come out and would be on its way down again soon.

"We're here," the driver announced.

Ava didn't know exactly where 'here' was, but the van had stopped in the court of what she assumed was a convent.

Beatrice opened the march and Ava followed numbly. She was beat, she had only dozed off briefly during the car rides. Beatrice looked tired but Ava doubted she had taken a single moment to rest.

It was odd the things her mind latched on as she looked around. The flower beds on the side, the vegetable garden, the colour of the habit worn by the nuns waiting for them at the entrance.

Ava felt the hair at the back of her neck prickle, a sense of unease she couldn't explained that was settling in.

"Ava, this is sister Othilia, she's going to stay with you while I take care of some…things," Beatrice announced.

The words were like an icy shock down her spine, it took Ava out of her current apathy.

What was going to happen to her now? Was Beatrice about to leave her here? Was this the protocol? That would explain those fleeting glances in the car. This was why she had been kept out of the loop…

Up until that very moment, the possibility that she and Beatrice would part ways hadn't occurred to her. Now that she thought about it though, it made sense and she felt stupid.

Beatrice put a hand on her shoulder. "I'll be back later."

No, maybe she was just panicking. Beatrice would have told her otherwise, right? She wouldn't look at her like everything was fine if she was about to get rid of her.

Trust your team…

Beatrice was her team.

Trust your team.

Ava nodded as she tried to swallow the ball of anxiety stuck in her throat.

"Follow me," sister Othilia invited her with a soft smile.

They walked through several corridors until they reached a room. "Do you need, medical assistance?"

Ava shook her head. She had been hurt but the Halo had long since done its job to 'mend' her.

"There's a bathroom, right there and a change of clothes on the bed," Othilia continued. "I'll be outside when you're done."

Ava picked up the change of clothes and went to the bathroom.

The hot spray of water seemed to alleviate her growing panic, at least it did until she watched it take a pinkish hue as dry blood washed away. Panic rose again and soon the water wasn't the only thing running down her face.

Camilla, Lilith and Mary… they had left them behind, maybe they were hurt, or worse… and it was all her fault.

Nope, she couldn't go there.

"Get a grip!" she berated herself.

Okay, she needed to calm down and think.

What if Beatrice was just arranging the details of dumping her somewhere? Liked it or not that possibility was very real. She had something they needed to keep safe, the Halo. She was only a vessel, so nobody really cared about how she felt or her opinion. She, Ava, was an afterthought at best.

What if she ran?

Right, where would she go? She didn't even know where they were now.

She had tried the whole going rogue and independent and it had not work out at all. Now that there was a bigger evil who could and would hurt her given the chance, her survival-on-her-own odds had clearly taken a dive.

Ava knew fear, but she hadn't known terror until she had been alone facing Adriel. Just thinking about it made her body tremble all over.

No, running was not an option.

She couldn't stay with people she didn't know though, that was even more terrifying an idea.

The only way out was to get rid of the Halo… but how?

It had to reject her or she had to die? Wait, supposing she figured out how to make the Halo reject her, would she die anyway?

Fuck. How had her life turned into this whole mess? How had she gone from wishing to be dead, to being dead, to being brought back to life by some supernatural artefact, to fighting demons with said artefact?

She started pacing into the small room. She needed to find a way out. At least to come up with a plan B. The first plan was to talk to Beatrice and convince her not to drop her.

She exited the room with the intention to go find Beatrice, but Sister Othilia had other plans and just took her to their common hall where she was offered some food.

Ava's stomach was tied into a knot so she didn't eat anything. She asked for Beatrice but was told 'not to worry about it'.

A terrifying thought started nagging at her. What if Beatrice had already gone?

Sister Othilia eventually led her back to the room where she had changed and left her there. Ava started to pace back and forth the second she was alone.

Even though she had nowhere to run to, she knew that if Beatrice walked away without her, she would escape. No wall could contain her, that much she knew. Maybe she could go back to the others, Mother Superion would know what to do, and surely, she'd take her back in.

She didn't know how much time had passed when a soft knocked echoed from the door. In spite of her lack of response the door opened a little and Beatrice's face appeared in the embrasure.

"Beatrice," the name was spoken like a sigh of relief.

"May I come in?"

Ava nodded eagerly. She took note of Beatrice's appearance. She frowned at the scrapes and bruises marring Beatrice's face.

"Are you okay?" Ava asked with concerned. She reached out a hand but stopped short of making contact.

"Yes, don't worry."

Ava acquiesced. Thoughts were running haywire in her brain. She took a deep breath and words stumbled out of her mouth. "Please, don't kick me to the curve," she rushed to say.

"I know I'm just a job to you and I understand, but please, please don't leave me here. I'll do anything, follow orders, whatever you need me to do, I'll do it… just please… don't dump me with strangers… please…"

"Dump… what?"

Ava was so caught up in her plea she missed the widening of Beatrice's eyes and her stunned expression.

"I promise, I won't be any trouble, just don't leave me here, don't leave me… okay… because you're all I have and I'm scared… I know I messed up, but please… I'm begging you, don't…"

Despair was colouring her words but Ava didn't care. She'd get on her knees if she had to. She'd do anything at this point, so dignity was the last thing she cared about.

"Ava…slow down," Beatrice raised her hands in a calming gesture. "Slow down…" shaking her head as if to her kickstart her brain, then she continued. "I have no intention to leave you anywhere."

"No?" Ava asked softly not daring to hope.

"No, of course not," Beatrice emphasized.

Ava didn't think and just rushed forward to take Beatrice in her arms and held on for dear life because right at this moment Beatrice was very much like a life line. The embrace was probably too tight to be comfortable, but Ava couldn't help herself. She was so overwhelmed with relief that a sob escaped her lips and embarrassing tears started to pool at the corners of her eyes.

Much like the first time it had happened, Beatrice was taken aback by the sudden hug and it took her a few seconds to return the embrace. Feeling Ava's trembling body made her snap back to reality. Ever since they had left the Vatican she had focus on her mission as a sister warrior, blocking anything else. Only now did she realize that she had essentially left Ava to stress out and talking herself into bad scenario.

Ava pulled back suddenly and wiped her eyes hastily. "Sorry…"

"No… don't be," Beatrice cut her off softly. She rubbed a hand on her forehead "This is…unprecedented, I'm out of my depth here and… a little scared if I'm honest," Beatrice whispered the last part. "The only way I know how to cope is to hyperfocus on the task at hand, in this case, keeping you safe."

Ava nodded in understanding. She felt a bit better now that Beatrice was indeed talking to her.

"I'm used to missions, and things going wrong," Beatrice continued. "But you're not and I've been shutting you out…letting you stew in your anxiety… and for that I'm sorry."

Ava was agreeing with that statement, but she didn't say anything because pushing Beatrice away held no appeal.

"So… you're definitely not leaving me here…" Ava demanded confirmation with a shaky voice.

"Definitely not," Beatrice assured her.

Beatrice's mind caught up with some of Ava's words, now she understood how truly terrified Ava must have been during the last hours. After a brief hesitation she put a hand on Ava's shoulder, and took a moment to find the right words to assuage her fear.

"Ava, it is my job to protect you, yes, but you're not a job. You're my friend. Even if I had received the order to leave you, I wouldn't have obeyed it."

Ava looked so small and vulnerable; Beatrice remembered Ava's confession about her deepest fear. She made a mental note to remind Ava that she was not alone on regular basis, clearly that fear was a gigantic beast and it would take time to tame it.

"You really mean that?" uncertainty coloured Ava's tone. Tears were rolling silently along her cheeks.

"Yes," Beatrice replied firmly. "I promised, remember? We'll never leave you, you'll always have us…" Beatrice trailed off, because right now the fate of Camilla, Lilith, Mary and the others was unknown. "I'll never leave you, you'll always have me, no matter what."

Ava let out a breathless chuckle through her tears, remembering the promise. "Right… even if I was quadriplegic, festooned with boils or if I was a talking head in a bag…"

"Exactly."

Ava took a deep breath and wiped her tears again. "Okay, good," she said with a nod.

She surprised Beatrice with another fierce hug. Beatrice wasn't use to so much physicality, still she understood Ava's apparent need for it, so she awkwardly returned the embrace and patiently waited for Ava the pull back when she felt ready to.

It took almost two minutes for Ava to feel grounded again. She let go of Beatrice "Thank you," she murmured.

Beatrice acquiesced silently then cleared her throat. "Listen… I can't tell you much right now, mainly because I don't have the full picture myself. For now, you need to get some rest because we'll leave again before dawn."

Ava bobbed her head up and down as she took everything in. "What about you?"

"I have a last briefing in a few. Then I'll get some rest as well in the room next to yours."

"Alright."

"Are you going to be okay?"

"Yeah."

"Okay then, I'll see you later. And please, get some rest," Beatrice ordered softly with a pat on Ava's shoulder.

Ava watched Beatrice leave the room. Once the door was shut, she dropped onto the bed and let out a deep sigh of relief. She didn't care what happened next now that she knew Beatrice would be by her sides. As long as that was the case, she knew they'd get through anything.

Feeling utterly drained, she closed her eyes and let herself sink into the sweet oblivion of sleep.

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