.

Alone

Lois got out of her car and forced her eyes through the curtain of snow. In one direction the road was turning into a white haze, while in the other direction too, but with the distant howl of a wolf.

She kicked at the mound of snow in which she got stuck, and found it turned almost entirely to ice. Jumping on one foot she reached for her phone and dialed the tow truck's number.

"Hello? Yes, you can send me a tow truck to kilometer 50 of highway 31... yes, I am aware of the weather and the time it is... don't you have units right now... okay, I'll wait."

She closed her coat tightly and, with nothing else to do, began to remember how exalted her day had been. First of all, she had received a call from her editor sending her to fetch the Chupacabras. And what happened when she refused? Well, she was immediately fired, who knew they would be so angry about a week of unexcused absences?

What had hurt her most, however, was not losing a job she really liked, but for which she was paid a pittance, but how much she needed that pittance.

On the verge of tears, and considering buying instant soup in bulk so she could eat for more than two months, she had gone to the bank to withdraw her savings. That's how she had learned of the fifty thousand dollars in her bank account, which had earned her a "Miss, are you all right?" from the security guy, and a "Thank you for your purchase" from the mall clerk just half an hour later.

"It was stupid to buy you without knowing where the money came from," she said to her five-thousand-dollar coat. "But you looked damn pretty."

She got into her car and looked out the back window. Was it just her imagination or had she just heard the howling of wolves really close by?

Maybe...

She placed the call on hold and dialed Clark's number instead.

"Hello?"

"Hi Clark, it's Lois. Are you free right now?"

As soon as she finished asking her question, she knew they would have an awkward heart-to-heart talk before the end of the night. The same one her cousin was so insistent she have with him.

"I need your help. I'm stranded in the middle of the road... really, thank you very much. I'll wait for you," she said as she leaned back in the seat and hugged herself, the cold slowly beginning to seep through the bodywork.

Alone again with her thoughts, she realized that she was not as uncomfortable about the prospect of talking to him as she had thought.

I guess it's because I don't remember anything. If it weren't for the bruises, I might as well ignore it all and go on with my life...well, the bruises and the tattoo.

She scratched the tattoo. Now that she had money, she should go to the hospital and see what she could do with it.

"Lois?" Clark asked, tapping on her window.

After making sure she didn't suffer from early hypothermia, Clark unjammed her vehicle and they had slowly driven to Smallville. Bad weather had stopped them several times, until finally, at the edge of town, the poor battery couldn't take any more and completely broke down. Clark, then, was kind enough to get out and push her car into a corner of the farm grounds, in one of the unoccupied farming areas.

"Here, it'll warm you up," Clark said as he placed a teacup on the floor beside where she was sitting.

"Thank you," Lois said, wrapped up to her neck in blankets and pillows. She hoped Clark wouldn't judge her, the farmhouse had no heat, just a fireplace that he didn't bother to keep burning if his mother wasn't there. "If you had some alcohol, I think it would warm me up more."

Clark looked at her with a mixture of condescension and amusement, but still placed a bottle of beer next to the mug.

Lois' eyes rested on Clark's fingers as he applied a bit of leverage and removed the sheet metal without damaging the glass. It was so marked the difference between such precision, and the brute force with which he had pushed her car.

"Wow, who knew you used to have a six-pack in case of emergencies."

"Actually my mother keeps it, it helps her remember Dad," Clark replied, his eyes darkening slightly in mourning.

Lois nodded sadly. Mr. Kent was a good man, and he had raised Clark to become an even better man. Or maybe it was natural to his species? It occurred to her to ask him, but she quickly dismissed the idea. Chloe had told her how much Clark disliked being treated differently.

"I think it makes her feel like he's still with us," Clark continued, sitting down on the floor. And although he did so while keeping a decent three feet away, or perhaps precisely because of that, Lois was much more aware of his closeness.

Relax, she said to himself, He's the one who should be nervous, not me.

She remembered the incident at the Windgate. She had been sitting on his lap practically half-naked, and yet it was him squirming uncomfortably underneath her. Or when he'd gone to visit her in the hospital after Black Thursday. He had squeezed her hand, and only an instant later had pulled back, averting not only his hand, but his gaze as well.

And then it dawned on her: this was not the first time they had been so close.

"I didn't know your mother was in Topeka," said Lois, taking the last slice of pizza from the box.

Unwilling to get up, Clark piled the pizza boxes under the couch.

"She left yesterday morning. She was needed to take care of some urgent things."

Lois held out her arm and offered him a beer.

"You know I love your mother, but I don't think I could have stood her strict eyes watching for us to do something stupid... again." And when Clark didn't laugh at her joke, she continued, "Come on, drink, it will help us feel less uncomfortable."

"I'm not uncomfortable," he replied.

Damn it, Lois thought.

"Anyway, as I was telling you, I discovered a small fortune in my bank account and I figured you might know something."

Clark hid his smile with the beer bottle.

"That explains the fur coat."

Lois stirred in her seat as she took off her coat and laid it on the floor.

"One hundred percent bison hide, or at least that's what the saleswoman assured me," she said, fixing her shirt.

Did he just see my belly button or am I imagining it? No, I must be imagining it. It's Smallville, he could never...could he?

"We won it at poker," Clark said. "It was a good night... of gambling."

"Do we both play?"

"And you won more than me, I'll never understand how. I could see through the cards."

Lois puffed out her chest with pride. Smiling from ear to ear as was so typical of her.

He's watching me.

"But that means you have your share too, right? What do you plan to spend it on?"

"As tempting as it might be to buy a thousand-dollar coat, I returned the money."

"Did you go back to the casino?"

"To people who have lost everything in the game, or at least to an association that helps them leave that life. It seemed like the right thing to do."

And suddenly it seemed to Lois that spending so much on trivial tastes was nothing to be proud of. She looked at the coat she loved so much and gave up the idea of putting it on again.

Lois had reached that stage in her drinking where she was beginning to show her sentimental side. And Clark, just as sober as at first, also seemed to be starting to loosen up.

"...and for that I want to apologize to you, Clark. It wasn't right that I didn't tell you I'd keep your secret. You must have been worried sick."

Clark looked straight into her eyes. What was that in his eyes? Surprise? Doubt? Confusion?

"It didn't even occur to me that you could tell anyone," he placed his hand on her. "I knew I could trust you."

Lois looked down at their fingers, and although her mind hadn't lost an ounce of calm, the muscles in her arm and back seemed to have reacted to his touch. In what way? She didn't know, and to tell the truth she was too afraid to find out.

"I haven't had that much to drink yet, Clark."

Good sarcasm, nothing beats it.

Clark smiled and gave her a little tap on the shoulder, just as he had done so many times before. This time, however, Lois couldn't give him her usual murderous look, and instead winced.

"I'm sorry, did I hurt you?"

"No. Don't worry, it's nothing," but it was too late. Clark had lifted the fabric of her sleeve and revealed one of her many bruises.

"I did, didn't I? I mean, during those days we spent together."

"We both did it, okay? I also participated, so don't take all the blame."

"I had the skills. I should have controlled myself better."

For a moment she considered reproaching him for the marks in more private places, just for the pleasure of seeing the horror on his face and thus erasing the guilt in his eyes, but, with that malice that always appeared at the most inopportune moments, she chose to attack in another way.

"The bruises will eventually heal. If you want to feel guilty, tell me: What am I supposed to do with this?" she said, stretching her cleavage to reveal the upper half of her breasts.

"Looking for a man who likes tattoos and is also named Clark?"

Lois' eyes bore into him like two blades.

"I'm invulnerable Lois, you can't hurt me."

Are you challenging me?

"And how are you handling Lana's marriage?" she said, her tongue wagging before she could think.

"That's very low of you," he scolded her, but there was no real reproach in his words.

He's not upset.

Lois smiled dangerously, showing all her teeth in a carnivorous way.

"If you tell her about our little adventure, I'm sure she'd be very jealous," she laughed, imagining Lana's horror when such rumors reached her.

"Stop joking," he said, laughing.

"Yes, you're right, I wouldn't believe you. But Chloe is another matter. Picture it, her maid of honor has one drink too many, Lana slips in a question out of the blue, and the next thing she knows, we've been missing for a week."

"Lana is not looking out for me. And I've decided I'm not going to keep an eye on her either."

"Really? What could have happened to make my favorite farmer stop dreaming about his little fairy tale princess?" She asked jokingly, but almost immediately knew he wasn't playing. "Come on, Clark. You can tell me. Look, I swear I won't tell anyone. Not even Chloe."

I was hoping Clark would reveal something that had to do with his powers. What other matter could be private enough that he couldn't unburden himself to a friend?

"Okay," he threw his head back and closed his eyes, as if that was the only way he could tell her what happened, "There is a place called the Phantom Zone. My biological father created it to imprison the worst criminals in the universe, but something went wrong and during Black Thursday some of those creatures escaped."

"Okay?"

"About a month ago I had an encounter with one of those creatures. It wanted to take over my body and my powers, and it set up a mental illusion in which it planned to lock me up forever," his voice paused for a few seconds. It made me believe that I had no powers, that my whole life had been just the dream of a madman.

Is he trying to scare me? he wondered. I don't think so. He sounds sincere, like a child about to narrate one of his nightmares.

"Go on, Clark. I'm listening."

"I was locked up in the north wing of Fairview Psychiatric Hospital, I remember that name very well," Clark's voice had become a faint whisper. Lois had to lean in to continue listening to him. "I woke up surrounded by a circle of other inmates, all mocking me for saying I came from another world. I escaped, of course, it was simple enough. I guess I should have become suspicious at that point.

"The world he showed me was even worse than the hospital. Lex was wheelchair-bound, the victim of an accident I had caused by trying to 'save' him with my powers. My mother had begged Lionel to go to a mental hospital instead of prison. I had dragged Chloe into my delusions. And Lana..." his voice cracked slightly as he said her name. "Lana wanted me to go back to the asylum; she loved me, that's what she said, but she was going to send me back there.

"And I was about to listen to her. Not Lex, not Lionel, not even my own mother was able to convince me, but Lana..." he shook his head, "I was about to give up myself for her, to condemn everything and everyone I know...for her."

"And that's your reason for forgetting about her? Clark, I grew up in the military. I've seen many men isolate themselves from family and friends because they consider them weaknesses..."

"I'm not leaving Lana behind because I consider her a weakness," he interrupted her angrily. "I'm leaving her behind because she hurts me, and I don't want that anymore."

Lois looked down, embarrassed.

"I understand," she bit her lip, crestfallen. "If it's for that reason, I think you're right."

Lois felt Clark's hand rest on her shoulder, as if apologizing for raising his voice. But, looking up, she saw not only guilt, but also doubt, and something akin to anguish.

"There's something else, isn't there?" she asked.

"No, no..."

He looked so vulnerable, so alone. How had she not realized it until now? His father had died, his mother was away on trips often, and he had had to take care of this huge farm on his own, with no time to go out and meet new people. How many days had he spent here, in this house, without talking to another person?

"You can tell me about it."

She felt him hesitate, just a little, and then his lips began to open.

No snide remarks, she imposed as a rule, No matter what he says, no matter what he does, don't fuck this up. Be quiet and listen to him all the way through.

"In the Phantom world, Chloe died because of me."

Lois felt something twist her heart. For an instant she was back in high school, learning in the middle of class that her cousin had died in an explosion.

"Oh God, Clark," she whispered, catching him in a tight embrace, "I can't imagine what you must have felt."

Now she understood why it had been so hard for him to talk about it. There was no doubt in her mind that, if it weren't for her, Clark would have taken that secret to his grave. Who else could he tell? Mrs. Kent? Chloe herself? It would only have made them worry.

"Lois?"

"Yes?"

"I haven't had that much to drink yet"

Part of her was tempted to punch him in the ribs, but the other part of her, a much larger part, let out a sigh of relief. She was about to retort with, "This is why you don't get a girlfriend," but she held her tongue and tightened her arms around him.

"Thank you for telling me again"

"Tell you again?"

"Yes," she said, breaking the hug, "Didn't we talk about this during...?" Lois waved her hands in circles, "during our crazy week?"

Clark grimaced.

"You really didn't like to talk much."

"And what were we doing? Oh no, wait. Don't answer me," she recoiled as she pretended to shiver with revulsion.

Clark laughed, and Lois followed suit a second later. And even more than the hug, it seemed to her that this laughter had helped him draw closer.