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Incorrect Reasons

She didn't know how long she had been awake. At times she thought she had just opened her eyes, but another part of her told her that she had been in bed for hours, unable to process the sheer stupidity she had committed.

Two strong arms wrapped around her from behind, one encircling her waist and the other possessively trapping one of her breasts. Clark's face was buried deep in her hair, his breath pleasantly tickling the back of her neck.

His arms are so warm, she thought, relaxing against his body, it makes me want to close my eyes and go back to sleep.

But I couldn't do it.

Sooner or later he would wake up, and I didn't want to be here to see him take all the blame for what they had done. Well, actually it was his fault, what did he think was going to happen if he starts telling me that story and fondling me under the blanket? He plays innocent, but well he was seducing me... Will he have the courage to try anything when he wakes up? I'm in his bed, naked and with no one else in the house. Right now I'm basically every man's fantasy.

She found the thought extremely disturbing, especially since she couldn't imagine herself resisting for too long.

I have to go, and soon.

It was already the third time she had come to the same conclusion, a clear sign that she should trust her instinct to flee. But, of course, that led to a key point: if this was the third time, why the hell was she still in bed?

She bit her lips.

She didn't want to admit it, but she was very tempted to use this night of passion as a seed for 'something more'. It would be so easy to pull it off. Clark certainly wouldn't refuse, in fact, he might even be happy to try. God knew Smallville needed some fun in its life.

The problem was that she wanted too, but not for the right reasons.

Six years had passed since she found him in that cornfield, and in all that time she had come to know him very well. She knew his sense of humor, his way of caring for others and, especially, how loving and committed (even devoted, I would say) he could be to the woman he loved.

It was something she had never seen anywhere else or from anyone else. And at least for her, who had spent her life among apathetic military men and cretinous politicians, it took her breath away just to think of someday being able to enjoy something like that. Perhaps that was why she had never been able to understand Lana's decisions.

Maybe it wasn't so special to her that someone loved her that way.

Don't ramble, Lois.

The fact was, she couldn't start a relationship with him thinking about "the way he loved." Clark deserved someone who loved him for who he was.

You could come to love him, whispered a small voice deep in the back of her mind, the same one that last night had enticed her to use her mouth to pleasure him. The same one that now licked at the sensation of his hand on her breast.

Maybe, it's possible, she replied to that voice. But considering how different we are, I see it more likely that we'll spend all day arguing.

You would enjoy experiences that no one else could, the voice replied.

Lois remembered the dazzling ice palace where they had spent the week after Valentine's Day. The prospect of enjoying such a beautiful place as many times as she wanted was tantalizing. Not to mention the world he would open up for her.

And the sex is amazing, the voice insisted.

"Great," she whispered to herself. "Envy, greed and lust. What nice reasons to start a relationship!"

Lois sighed in resignation. It all boiled down to one point: Clark deserved a much better woman than her. Someone, well... perfect.

It was enough to close her eyes to imagine that ideal woman: attractive, petite, delicate, and, above all, integrated. Someone incapable of buying a coat with illicit money, free of vices like alcohol or tobacco, and who would love him for who he was, not for how well their bodies fit together.

Yes, someone much, much better than her.

She carefully untangled himself from his arms and began to reach for her pants.

It happened shortly after she realized she couldn't leave without his car. She was already working up the courage to go upstairs to get the keys to the truck, when Lana entered the house without knocking on the door.

"Oh, hi, Lois. I didn't see your car outside."

Lana looked perfect. Her white designer coat, impeccable hairstyle and petite figure only highlighted the fact that she had barely been able to control her hair, and that underneath her coat she was only wearing a torn T-shirt.

"My car broke down. Clark is out of town and lent me his car in exchange for me stopping by to feed the animals."

Lana's expression quivered. It was only for an instant and then the polite smile returned, but Lois could see it.

"I see. Yes, I suppose he must be busy running the farm by himself."

She doesn't know, Lois realized. If she knew she would never have believed that lie.

"If you have any errands, I can run them for you."

"Oh, I'd really appreciate it," she said, handing her a wedding invitation. "Tell him it's very important to me that he attend," she wanted to end it there, but intimidated by the look Lois gave her, she hurried on. "We never really had a proper closing. I was hoping to get a chance to do that today. I'm leaving."

Lois watched her turn around and extend her arm toward the knob. She knew it was none of her business, that this was between Lana and Clark, but something told her that Lana hadn't just come to put an end to the spoils of her relationship with Clark.

"Lana, we never really got to continue our talk from that time. If you need to vent to someone, you know I'm a good listener," Lois said, trying not to sound as anxious as she really felt.

Lana didn't seem to notice anything strange. She sat down at the dining room table and they began to talk.

She knew from the beginning that she couldn't trust Lana's words. She was good, she couldn't deny it, but she had seen too many politicians sitting at the table with the general not to notice the red flags.

She keeps doing it, thought Lois. There it is again. That tone of voice between question and proposal. She's more interested in convincing me than in telling what happened.

"I understand that there are things she can't tell me without Clark's permission," Lana said, "but Chloe went so far beyond that, she refused to acknowledge that there was a secret. And I had been watching her conversation with Linda Lake. I had seen it with my own eyes, and yet she continued to deny to me that anything was going on. I felt like Black Thursday all over again. Everyone knew what was going on, everyone but me. You understand me, don't you?"

What do you want me to tell you, I don't know what the hell happened during Black Thursday either. And you guys aren't boyfriend and girlfriend or anything anymore, his secret is none of your business and it's not going to miraculously fix your life either.

"I understand you Lana."

"I know a lot of what I said doesn't make sense to you, but I appreciate you listening to me. That's why I came here, to finish closing this part of my life."

That's not true, you came with a damn invitation to your wedding. You wanted to reopen the wound, you wanted Clark to confess the truth to you in an attempt to save you.

"It's leaking," Lois whispered, crossing her legs.

"What?"

"The sink. I think it's leaking. Sorry, I got distracted for a moment."

"Never mind, I was done... Do you have any advice?"

"I'm a good listener, but my advice doesn't always get the best results..." Lois knew she should keep quiet, this didn't concern her in the least. What on earth could she say to the ex-girlfriend of the man she had ridden the night before? "But I think you should forget about Clark and his secrets.

"You've told me that Lex is sincere with you, something very difficult given the upbringing he received. Well, if you value that sincerity, I don't think you should continue to insist on this quest. I don't mean to sound cold, but none of this concerns you anymore, Lana.

"Even if you did get back together with Clark," she continued, unable to stop herself once she had opened her mouth, "that secrecy between the two of you may have been such an intrinsic part of your relationship, that you may no longer feel the same once you take that out of the picture."

"I'm not going back to Clark," Lana replied, "I don't have feelings for him anymore."

"Then I think it's clear what you should do."

Good Lois, push the poor girl down the ravine.

"I'll think about what you said," Lana got up from the table and picked up her purse. "Thanks again for the chat."

Lana left the house, and a few seconds later Lois heard the sound of a car driving away.

She would not follow her advice. Lana cared too much about "the truth." She would find another excuse to talk to Clark, to force him to decide instead of her.

She won't marry Lex, she's not stupid.

Lana would regret it a few days before the wedding, maybe even at the altar. She would suffer, isolate herself, and a couple of weeks later she would go looking for Clark... and he would suffer again.

Lois didn't know what else to think and just mechanically climbed the stairs. This whole drama was a pile of trouble about to crush those involved. The smart thing to do was to walk away, run, and not look back. That's what she had to do.

But what about Clark?

She reached the top of the stairs. Clark's room was just a few steps to her right. She walked noiselessly and opened the door... and saw him, there, sleeping peacefully in the bed they had shared all night. His arms were outstretched, as if looking for a body to hug.

Come on Lois, you know damn well you didn't go upstairs for the keys to his truck.

Lois undressed calmly, but without pausing. And with each garment that fell to the floor her smile grew a little bigger.

It was easy to give up her desires by imagining Clark meeting a nice woman in the future. But Lana...

Lois lifted the sheets and tangled herself in his arms again.

Greed, lust and envy. They were still horrible reasons, but at least she would never hurt him.