AN: Responses to reviews
Nope, not a ring or the Ganymede's activation key, but it does have a lot of symbolic value similar to a ring, it's important in Britannian culture, that's your hint. It is an item tho! Congrats you got part of it right :p
Don't worry, I'm not making Lelouch a fighter that can take down Suzaku in a 1v1 or anything. What Kallen is doing is building up Lelouch's physique so that he can handle the eventual war in whatever form it may take. Of course, we all know he's going to be a tactician/information and electronic warfare/Psyop specialist + ranged knightmare pilot, but he doesn't know that and neither does Kallen. And it does well to improve his stamina and endurance. In regards to him not being that weak. You're right, 17 year old Lelouch could carry a person for a bit, or swing a fist if he needed to, but in that scene Lelouch was a few years younger and at the beginning of his growth spurt. Still young, less than halfway through his teens. So his extreme lack of strength mentioned was a result of both his overall sub-par physical output as in Canon as well as him still being a younger teen.
About the 'triple pairing', yes, I was torn myself, part of me wanted to make this pure Kalulu, but poor old C.C. just doesn't deserve to be alone anymore, so I'm doing my best to eventually, organically Incorporate her into the relationship and make it a reasonable and realistic poly. I think Harem fics are fun but they usually don't do all the characters justice and it's more like a checkbox of who Lelouch seduces. It can be amusing but also doesn't make for a particularly engaging story most of the time. K.L.C is my favorite relationship setup aside from pure Kalulu with Shirlulu/Milulu tied for runner up.
That being said if people here want pure Kalulu they will get pure Kalulu, I don't mind changing the pairing up to just be the Black King and Red Queen. C.C. can have her own story somewhere down the line.
In regards to Naoto, I feel like his mere existence can have a major impact. My plan is to have him be Lelouch's straight man, an anchor. Whenever Lelouch needs it he's gonna be a strong, brotherly figure for the prince to lean on for support, helping him figure out his plans when he gets stuck in a bad situation and needs a sounding board, that sort of thing. Lelouch in the original show had nobody there to set him straight and help him work things out. Naoto I feel would be great as Lelouch's surrogate, adoptive older brother.
I must also say that I did NOT know that Lelouch liked sewing, I'll keep that in mind! But for a hobby, I was thinking he'd enjoy singing and playing an instrument. My mind was like: "He's great at using his voice to empower people, why not use it for something else?" I think Lelouch is the kind of person who would both enjoy listening, and playing music, I can imagine him sitting in bed with an acoustic guitar and serenading Kallen low and slow, it just feels right.
For the info dump about Lelouch and how he and the Kozuki Resistance can improve themselves, a lot of that stuff is likely to be at least mentioned in some capacity if not made a main point for the chapter its in. Trust me, I do have plans for them- and Ashford as well! You shall see.
Finally about the Onsen idea: I like it, but its a bit too soon for that, while I am all for it, they are a bit too young and a bit too early in their relationship for open nudity... and if I wrote that for them at this age in their lives, I'd feel like a Pedo so... one day when they're older. Not yet. Trust me tho it'll happen. I'm ok with them ogling each other when they see them in a nice outfit or exposing some skin but that's the extent it is being taken to until they're adults, or at least close to adults.
The year was 2015, Lelouch and Kallen where together in the Ashford campus with their backs resting against one another. Kallen was busy reading a few pages from her history textbook and trying to concentrate, but her ears kept catching the sound of Lelouch scribbling something with a pencil and occasionally rubbing the paper with an eraser, it was difficult to focus. Lelouch rarely ever did any of the extra school work that was assigned to him so what could he be working on?
That question had been nagging her of late. She had known him for 5 years now, and yet it felt like there was so much about him she didn't know, he was an open book, and at the same time half the pages seemed to be blank.
It wasn't that she didn't respect his privacy. She did, she never tried to force him to talk about his past and he never felt the need to bring it up.
But it almost made him seem like a puzzle she needed to solve, she wanted the full picture, she wanted to see the invisible ink that laid the foundation of Lelouch's life.
Who was he really? Of course, she knew him as a person. He was kind, and smart, and loving, but he always seemed to have a chip on his shoulder, something that weighed on him, and it seemed to weigh on him more heavily by the day. Was it something he was afraid to tell her? Did she do something to upset him?
That second thought affected her more than it should have as she anxiously clenched her book, and shook her head, closing it with a sigh. She decided to ask her question.
"Whatchya working on Lulu?" She asked.
He seemed to snap out of his intense focus at the sound of her voice. "Oh, well its... it's stupid really, just an idea I had, it got stuck in my head and wouldn't go away... like a bad itch that you have to scratch." He explained. "I felt like the only way to scratch the itch was to put my thoughts to paper."
Well now she was curious, what was giving his noggin such trouble? She idly sat up and turned around, leaning over his shoulder while resting on her knees, her chest pressed into his back and he blushed like mad, but her focus was on the paper more than his face.
On the paper was... a costume of sorts? There was no coloration, but it was a very neatly drawn design for some sort of fanciful suit complete with a cloak, next to it was a design for... a helmet? Or mask of some sort. One that would fully cover the face of the wearer but with a 1-way glass visor.
There where also measurements, his measurements if she was able to guess, notes on what materials the fabric should consist of, as well as how to make effective protection for the whole ensemble like built-in Kevlar, and the mask being made of bulletproof glass.
At the very top of the paper was a single word, written in delicate cursive.
"Zero?" She asked.
"It's a work in progress." He answered, keeping his voice ad even as he could. "My goal as a member of the resistance is to fight for the liberation of all peoples. Japan is, after all, the first step. I'm a great actor, and orator, if I can I want to act as the face of the resistance."
"You do?"
"Yes." He answered firmly. "People judge others by their appearance, what better way to break that habit than by giving them a figure they cannot love or hate based on appearance or supposed nationality. Instead I am giving them actions, and ideas. I wish to be a symbol for people to rally behind, a symbol for justice."
Kallen smiled. "That's really cool, and really sweet." She complimented. "I like the design, very fashionable, very... you."
He smiled, his blush still there, be tried to clear his throat and brush it off. "Yes- well I um..." He trailed off.
'Damnit! How does she do this to me!? If it where anyone else I'd be fine but it's like I can't keep myself calm or even think straight when she's around!' He complained to himself half-heartedly.
She giggled. "You're cute when you're flustered."
'She called me cute...' He thought numbly, freezing on the spot, he spluttered.
"I am not cute!" He protested cutely with a pouty look on his face, making her laugh.
"You're downright adorable." She chided, before bringing a hand up to ruffle his hair, and again he found himself unable to pull away or complain, her touch... it paralyzed him and he didn't know why. But he found himself unable to be mad about it, he just couldn't.
Instead he huffed. "Not cute..." He mumbled.
"Are tooooooo~" She teased him in a melodic tone before the bell rang, signaling that it was time to see what Milly would torture them with today.
Knowing they where doomed to whatever asinine plot the Ashford Heiress had come up with this time for the school festival, Kallen got up, offering a hand to Lelouch who took it gratefully and helped himself up with her as support. They grabbed their things and headed off to the student council room and found that it had been decorated. A large banner hung on the wall that said 'Absolute silence party'
"Wha-" Kallen began, only for Milly to already be sprinting halfway across the room slapping a hand over the redhead's mouth.
Milly brought a mysterious finger up to her own lips, implying that she was to keep quiet, and then shot Lelouch the same look that implied he had to be quiet too.
Kallen glared at Milly for a moment before rolling her eyes and deciding to just go along with it.
Milly removed her hand from Kallen's face, and she grinned, ushering both of them into the room. They saw Shirley sitting at the table, while Nina was at her computer, and Rivalz, bless his soul, was sitting in the corner of the room, wearing a dunce cap and sitting on a stool with a sour look on his face.
Lelouch and Kallen had to hold back a snort at seeing Rivalz predicament, and sat at the table near Shirley who had at that point decided to take out a book to read, a medical textbook to be precise.
Milly then trotted up to the table with a smirk on their face, placing down a few pencils and note cards in front of them.
Kallen immediately took the hint and grabbed a note card, quickly scribbling something onto it before flashing it at the president
"This is stupid." The note said.
Milly took a rolled up newspaper and bapped Kallen in the back of the head, and all Lelouch could do was hold back a snicker at their antics.
After a moment of contemplation, Lelouch decided to pick up a note card, but instead of writing in English, he used Kanji. He passed the note card that said:
"How are you feeling? You've seemed stressed lately."
Kallen pursed her lips, staring at the Kanji before taking her second note card and writing in the same format.
"There's a lot on my mind." Her response read.
And so the use of notecards would continue for their silent conversation
"I'll read your thoughts." Next to it was a doodle of a stick figure with a winky face and a tongue sticking out.
Kallen couldn't help but smile, and thought for a moment before writing her response.
"Lots on my mind, Naoto, the resistance, you."
That last part caught his attention, was she worried about him?
"Me?" His notecard asked simply
Kallen decided to be honest.
"It feels like there's a lot of things I still don't know about you. You know my life story, but I don't know yours, it's been eating at me." Her message read.
Lelouch at that moment looked more depressed and guilty than he ever did over the 5 years she had known him, and she immediately regretted her decision, she tried to take back the notecard and pretend she never wrote it, but it was too late, the damage was done.
"I'm sorry, Kallen." He used his voice this time, but Milly didn't move to strike him with the newspaper, seeming concerned, and Shirley perked up from her book just in time to see Lelouch stand up and briskly walk out of the room, his head hanging low, hands in his pockets and shoulders rigid.
Kallen quickly scrambled to follow him, and Shirley, out of curiosity leaned over to look at their notes, only for the newspaper to smack down on the table in front of her. Milly was looking down at Shirley, shaking her head no.
Outside on the campus grounds, Kallen caught up to Lelouch and grabbed his shoulder, making him stop.
"It's me that should apologize!" She insisted. "I know that your past is a sensitive topic, and I'm sorry I-"
"No Kallen." He cut him off. "You have every right to know, you're my best friend, the closest person to me aside from Nunnally, I want to tell you, I should tell you, I know I can trust you but..."
"But?" She asked quietly.
"I am afraid..." He admitted. "And I know I shouldn't be."
"Of what?"
He swallowed a lump in his throat, unable to put his aloof mask on around her, he turned to face her, and his expression was morbidly depressing, there was fear, guilt and deep-rooted sorrow in his eyes.
"That you'll hate me."
For Kallen, every other sound no longer existed, the gentle breeze, the sound of distant traffic, the engines of civilian airliners flying in the distance, the chatter of their classmates as they went about their after-school activities, it was all drowned out by those words. Those painful, heart-wrenching words.
No.
"Lulu." She said softly, pulling him around to face her fully. He had started having his growth spurt a while back so he was a bit taller than her now, not by much though, not yet.
"I, can NEVER, hate you, do you understand me? No matter what you say, no matter what you do, I know you. I want to learn your past because I am... I am... infatuated with you." She flushed red, making Lelouch's eyes bug out almost comically.
"Kallen...?" He asked unsure of himself.
"I like you dammit!" She snapped, her face burning red. "I mean I... I LIKE, like you..." She stammered.
There was an emotional storm brewing inside of him. Kallen could see it. Happy and yet oh so very guilty, he seemed split between crying out of shame and out of joy.
"Kallen... I-"
He was cut off by the sound of Kallen's phone ringing, and she wanted to scream internally, she was about to get an answer from him!
She answered without looking.
"What!?" She snapped.
"Hey." Naoto's voice greeted her. "Are you ok sis...?"
"Fine." She bit out. "In the middle of something, is this important?"
"Yes." He answered
Fuck.
She sighed. "What do you need?" She asked, sounding annoyed and defeated.
"Grab Lelouch and come to home base, we need all hands on deck."
Her eyes widened a bit, there had never been an 'All units' call before, it must have been important.
"Ok." She agreed, and he hung up. She stared at the phone, before slipping it into her pocket with a sigh.
"Nathan needs us."
Lelouch nodded. "Let me get dressed for the occasion." He said before turning around and walking away, and Kallen was left staring at his back until he vanished into the student council building.
She went home, ignoring the hag and her clumsy mother as she briskly made her way up to her room, got dressed in her resistance outfit, grabbing her headband and putting it on while also putting her hair up in the way she preferred before finally leaving, discreetly taking her secret route out of the settlement and into the ghettos.
Lelouch meanwhile, after entering his room, had gotten dressed in his disguise, only missing the sunglasses. He was staring at his reflection in the mirror on his dresser.
On the outside he was calm, on the inside... he didn't even know what he was feeling.
He knew he could trust Kallen, it was instinctual by this point. So why? Why did he have to hide the truth from her? Why did he have to keep her distant from his past?
Why did it hurt so much?
'She likes me...' He thought numbly.
That was it, wasn't it? The reason why he could never seem to stay calm around her, why he couldn't just put up the mask and pretend to not care, why he was so desperate to stop her from hating him, why he was so afraid.
He wanted Kallen to like him, needed it even, it made him feel complete, he loved it...
... love...
His eyes went wide as he fell back onto his bed, shocked as the pieces started to pull themselves together and the reality of his situation began to set in.
It was worse than he thought, it wasn't just that Kallen liked him, no, he contributed to that problem.
Because the feelings she had for him where mutual.
It crashed down on him like a ton of bricks, shattering his worldview. Suddenly Kallen just being his best friend didn't feel right, she was closer to him than that, more important, more precious to him than just being a best friend, she meant more, so, so much more.
His heart ached.
'I've been such a fool... I didn't see it before, didn't understand my own feelings until she made hers clear... and now...'
Now he couldn't go back to the status quo, what they had before had been thrown into question. He couldn't reject her, he didn't want to either. But that also meant that he couldn't hide who he was anymore.
He had to tell her.
He sat up in his bed, staring at the mirror again, before closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, he had to steady himself. He needed to be prepared for whatever came next, the good... and the bad that inevitably came with it.
He ran his hands through his hair, strengthening his resolve, he quietly slipped the Kozuki band around his neck, pulled up his hood, and slipped on his sunglasses before moving towards the elevator. He used the Ashford underground linked to the sewer system to make his way to Shinjuku.
Lelouch had gotten to Shinjuku before Kallen did, but it wasn't by a wide margin. He had the benefit of being able to head to Shinjuku straight from the Ashford underground while Kallen had to make due with the fact she needed to both make the trip home and then sneak her way out.
Lelouch, who was sitting down next to Naoto, had to stop himself from immediately standing up when she walked in, and instead waved at her, trying to hold back his feint blush.
He also had to stop himself from gawking at her, the resistance outfit she wore... well it wasn't necessarily skimpy or anything but it showed off more than a little skin and was snug around her body. It took all his willpower to focus on her eyes, but it wasn't a bad thing, her eyes where beautiful too...
'God I feel like a lovesick teenager... wait... SHIT, I AM A LOVESICK TEENAGER!' He lamented.
Kallen smiled brightly upon seeing him, and walked over to Lelouch and her brother on instinct.
"Looks like the gang's all here, what's the op?" She asked.
"A business deal." Naoto replied. "I put some feelers out a while back for some black market items, we finally got a hit."
Kallen blinked. "What is it?"
"A Knightmare." Naoto said with a toothy grin, and Kallen immediately felt elated.
Lelouch however, remained passive, and seemed to be contemplating everything.
"That's great! When do we go?"
"We're leaving now basically, the deal is taking place in Toshima, some weapons dealers are looking to sell to the resistance and we're the only ones offering enough money for it."
"Great! Let's get a move on!"
Kallen couldn't be bothered to hide her excitement at the prospect of finally being able to use a fully functioning knightmare. The simulator that Lelouch got her was awesome, but even so she knew it wouldn't hold a candle to the thrill of the real deal.
With that, everyone grabbed their weapons, mostly pistols and SMG's, and concealed them somewhere on their person before moving as a group through Shinjuku.
The trip was quiet, but that didn't mean it wasn't awkward, Kallen walked close to Lelouch, he liked it but it also made him nervous, a double edged sword and it threw him for a loop with the conflicted feeling he felt.
Kallen also seemed to know that she was making him flustered and capitalized on it, every so often her shoulder or hand might brush against his, they even stopped for a small break, and she decided she needed to 'stretch'...
Kicking a leg up high against the wall and reaching for her toes, he could practically see all of her muscles through the fabric, she was showing off how flexible and fit she was as her tightly bound chest seemed to stretch the fabric of her crimson sweater top. His eyes traced up and down her long, slender legs, the small of her back, the way her sweat glistened on her smooth supple skin... the way her eyes where looking back at him and her playful smirk was-
Wait...
His eyes went wide as he realized she caught him staring, immediately twisting his head to the side so fast he almost got whiplash, his face burning a bright shade of red.
Kallen giggled.
"What's so funny?" Tamaki asked.
"Nothing." Kallen said, as she went about finishing her stretches. Her voice was filled with mirth.
'Goddamn tease.' Lelouch complained internally. 'But... at least I know she isn't disturbed by me looking at her.' That gave him some small comfort.
After Kallen finished stretching, the walk continued as before, though this time both she and Lelouch strayed back to the very end of the group, behind everyone else, she seemed slightly nervous now, and it made him a bit concerned. Was she regretting her actions? Her confession to him? He hoped not.
He gulped, words where his greatest asset and yet right now they failed him, he simply didn't know what to say. Kallen was different, she always was, she broke every mask he put up, and left him speechless, she, aside from Nunnally, was his weakness, and he liked being weak to her.
He decided to take a gamble, his body tense tense, but ultimately he wanted to try this, his right hand reached out and took her left.
They where holding hands now, her head turned to look down at their intertwined appendages with flushed pink cheeks, before looking up at him.
He had a gentle, disarming smile that made her heart melt. They hadn't spoken a word to each other, but this was a conversation all of its own.
I'm here, I understand, I accept.
Her head turned away, bashful now as she used a free hand to fix one of her bangs, trying to hide her own embarrassment at how much this was putting her off balance, figuratively speaking.
They stayed that way, constantly shooting each other looks, ranging between curious glances and firm nods of understanding.
Taking a chance, Kallen leaned in closer, letting her head rest against his shoulder, eliciting a furious blush from him.
It was so, SO sappy and it made him feel so shamelessly warm and fuzzy that his heart felt like it would beat itself out of his chest.
Unbeknownst to the two newly hatched lovebirds, one Naoto Kozuki was watching secretly out of the corner of his eye, and he smiled.
But something the entire group was not aware of, was that they themselves where being watched. A pair of golden eyes followed their movements, locked onto the exile and the girl he was with. They watched silently, stoically, and once they vanished down the street, the one watching followed.
They did eventually arrive, Lelouch had to break away from Kallen to make sure his sunglasses where in place and tugged up on the textile he used to cover his mouth and nose.
Kallen didn't seem to like the separation, but didn't complain about it, she knew this was necessary.
It was an abandoned warehouse with a truck outside, along with a couple armed guards by the entrance. One of them stepped forward.
"Can we help you?" He asked.
"I'm the buyer." Naoto declared. "Brought my group with me to see the merch." The eldest Kozuki informed him.
"Hmph, alright then, come on in." The guard turned around, opening the door for the group to walk inside.
They entered and looked around, seeing that there wasn't much left of the place, mostly empty, save for the arms dealers and their hired guns. Their eyes all latched on to the promised Knightmare. Sure enough there was a Glasgow, it's paint a shade of faded dark brown, it stood straight up with a knightrifle laying on some crates next to it alongside a few magazines, and a spare energy filler.
The seller stepped forward, an arrogant looking man, muscular with dark skin and black hair. He wore fancy street clothes with gold chains and multiple watches.
"Well, well, well, gotta say didn't expect you guys to actually show." The seller admitted. "But I'm glad ya did. I'll make this really simple." He said with a grin. "20 million in cash and you can have it."
Naoto held up his hand to silence the Kozuki Resistance movement before they could protest, he didn't need Tamaki running his mouth.
"Let's do some haggling eh?" Naoto offered. "20 is a bit steep, how bout 10?"
"19."
"11."
"21."
Naoto frowned. "You went up."
"What?" The man asked with a snarky attitude. "I'm just haggling."
Lelouch crossed his arms, staring at the Knightmare before looking back at the seller and his goons.
"12." Naoto offered.
"22." The seller replied smugly.
The older brother twitched with annoyance.
"We'll take it for 5." Someone in the Kozuki Resistance said firmly, and it caused everyone to stop.
"Who the fuck said that!?" The seller demanded. "You think this is some game!? Price just doubled!"
The Kozuki Resistance members all snapped out of their shock to stare at Lelouch, who walked forward with a casual, confident gait. Kallen looked concerned for him, her body tensing up, she wanted to be next to him.
"No." He said dryly. "It's still 5."
"Oh you think you're being cute!?"
"I'm adorable." Lelouch deadpanned, and he continued on his path towards the Knightmare, placing his hand on the side of one leg. "But that's besides the point."
"Oh yeah, what's the point then?" The seller snapped while everyone watched, and Naoto looked on carefully with Kallen tensing up by his side.
'You better know what you're doing... little bro.' Naoto thought to himself.
"The point is where you got this knightmare." Lelouch said, turning to face the man. "The paint is a bit faded, but the parts are all original. I can tell that much. This machine wasn't just found in the junkyard. It's been maintained, closely watched and cared for by professional engineers." He surmised before turning to look at the man.
"You didn't just find this, you stole it from the Britannian military."
The Kozuki Resistance all tensed up, and the seller began to sweat.
"You're trying to sell us an item that's boiling lava hot. The Britannian army is going to be picking through the ghettos with a fine tooth comb to find this thing, and the culprits who stole it. I bet you didn't even disable the IFF transponder did you?"
The seller looked both scared, and completely pissed off that he'd been called out.
In anger, he pulled his gun on Lelouch, causing Kallen to pull her gun on the seller, the hired guns pointed their weapons at Kallen and the resistance pointed their guns at all of them.
But Lelouch didn't care, or at least he was able to act like he didn't. He stared down the barrel of the gun pointed at him, and walked forward. He stepped up to the man until the barrel of the gun was pressed directly into his forehead.
He took off his sunglasses, and stared the taller man down without so much as blinking, causing the seller to gulp, his arm shaking a bit.
"You'll sell it for 5."
He sold it for 5.
"Bro that was fucking awesome!" Tamaki cheered as the Kozuki Resistance drove their new knightmare to base within the trailer of the truck.
"I know right!? That was insane! Kids' got some fucking BALLS on 'im!" Sugiyama said, sounding downright proud
Even Kallen got the chills thinking about it, the lack of fear, the confidence he displayed, it was... it was something else entirely. Dare she say arousing.
"Yeah, yeah praise him later, Lelouch, do you know how to disable that transponder you where talking about?" Naoto asked as he climbed up towards the cockpit on a ladder.
"What transponder?" He asked with a smirk.
Everyone stopped to stare at him. Even Kallen who was holding the ladder for her brother.
"Wait, THAT WAS A BLUFF!?" Tamaki spouted.
"The IFF tag I mentioned is only equipped on the newer Sutherland models. The Glasgows never had that feature, a result of its age. Now that the Sutherlands are starting to replace the Glasgows they're being retired to reserves and police duty." Lelouch answered, crossing his legs and folding his arms behind his head, but he still had a shit-eating grin.
Ohgi couldn't help but laugh. "Damn kid, you're a great actor, you could be a famous movie star one day."
Lelouch chuckled. "Thank you Ohgi."
Inoue rolled her eyes at the whole thing. "That was dangerous you know. What if he called your bluff?" She asked while Kallen helped Naoto down off the ladder.
He shook his head. "I knew his type the moment I laid eyes on him. He's a pretender like most people in his line of work, not a fighter or hardened killer. He's concerned with his own survival above all else and will take steps to save his own skin even if it means a financial loss. All I needed to do was insinuate Britannia was on to him and act confident in my deduction. He folded like a house of cards." Lelouch summarized as Kallen walked over to sit next to him with a bright smile on her face.
"That was very brave of you." She complimented him.
And just like that his aloof and confident demeanor folded like a house of cards, like the arms dealer, because he just couldn't contain himself around her. His mask of false bravado crumbled away as his eyes softened and his grin turned into a soft smile, a pink blush dusting his cheeks.
He cleared his throat. "Yes well I wasn't about to let him strong arm us into paying that much for an obsolete frame and I wanted to help get it for you. You've been putting a lot of work in the simulator and it shows, you're probably the best pilot here by a wide margin." He declared before turning to look at the elder Kozuki.
"No offense Naoto."
Naoto barked out a laugh. "None taken, I'm pretty good myself and getting better but Kallen seems to have a natural affinity for piloting." He said, looking between the both of them.
"I admit... I'm still not fully comfortable with Kallen fighting... but I also know I can't stop her." Naoto said with a sigh. "You just refuse to take no for an answer."
"Damn straight." Kallen huffed, tilting her chin up at him proudly with a smirk.
Naoto closed his eyes and shook his head admonishingly. But he couldn't help the knowing grin that stretched across his face.
Kallen relaxed then, leaning back in her seat. She turned to look at Lelouch, and gently nudged his arm with her elbow.
"Mm?" He responded with a hum, turning to look at her.
She smiled, and leaned up to give him a kiss on the cheek.
His face flushed a FURIOUS shade of red and he began to try and stutter out a response
"A sign of my gratitude." She winked.
Well apparently she wasn't trying to hide her interest in him from the other members. Lelouch looked instinctively at Kallen's older brother, but to his relief Naoto seemed to silently approve.
"Yes." Lelouch eventually managed to respond. "I'm glad you like it."
Kallen's smile turned into a ferocious grin.
"This is the start of something great, I can feel it!" She declared, before standing up proudly. "We'll fight the brits wherever they go, hunt them down and destroy them, they'll pay for what they did to our home!"
She held up a fist, her eyes blazed with hate and a lost for vengeance. "We'll liberate Japan, We'll take the fight to their land, and we'll destroy Britannia! We'll wipe out the royal family, every last one of them! Their bloodline will go extinct by our hands!"
Everyone else cheered, everyone except Naoto. He didn't like what she was saying. He wanted Japan free too... but this kind of hate was unhealthy... he'd have to talk to her about it, he then looked at Lelouch...
The exiled prince had a thousand yard stare, he was shaking and crying on the inside, forcing himself not to let the tears well up and fall in front of everyone.
'I can't tell her... I can't.' The realization dawned on him.
No matter what she said to him before, no matter how she acted, it didn't matter. Because any love she might have for him would be drowned out in a sea of righteous hatred.
He couldn't control who his family was, and now his past was coming back to haunt him. There was no escaping it, was there? The crushing weight of his bloodline's sins. They where so great that it didn't matter what he did.
No matter how much good he tried to do, no matter how much he rejected them, no matter what he said or did, there was no escaping it. The blood they spilled was splattered all over him.
It was pointless, he couldn't escape.
And now his best friend, the girl he had fallen in love with, had proclaimed her desire to exterminate the entire royal family.
That included him and Nunnally.
If she found out, she'd kill them.
Paralyzing fear, and deep-seated depression took over in that moment. His blood ran cold, all color drained from his face, he looked like he was going to be sick, even as he forced himself to not cry his eyes out.
He didn't notice Naoto was sadly staring at him. Not as the truck finally pulled up to their home base. Not as he stepped out and silently left while everyone else's backs where turned and watching as the Glasgow got unloaded from the trailer.
He started off with a slow walk, and then his pace slowly sped up as his anxiety began to roil, welling up inside him like a balloon ready to pop at any moment. His feet moved on instinct even as he stared hopelessly at the ground. Eventually he began to run, he ran as fast as he could, as far as his legs could take him, he sprinted for close to a mile until the searing pain in his ligaments forced him to slow down and stop. He walked down into the subway, embracing the darkness that lay within, and he threw up.
He cried, sobbing now that he didn't have to worry about anyone hearing him. His heart felt like it was being torn out of his chest.
He punched the wall, hard at first, before weakly beating on it with his fist, his forehead leaned forward to rest against the wall as tears dripped down his cheeks and pattered across the floor.
He stayed like that for a minute, before turning around and slumping against the wall, sitting up and pulling his legs up close to his chest, resting his face against his knees.
'This is the truth, isn't it?' He thought to himself. 'Isn't it? That love is lost to me, having a fulfilling life, it was never meant to be for one like me, I am doomed to a life of paranoia, fear and loneliness, my existence must remain an eternal lie...'
He laughed, his mental breakdown now in full swing. It was a bitter, broken, heart-wrenching sort of laugh that denoted a fall into madness.
Nunnally hummed to herself as she read through one of her newer braille books. It wasn't as good as the set that Kallen got her for her birthday but it sufficed to pass the time.
It was late when she heard Lelouch come home, Sayoko was out running a quick errand so it was just her in their home at Ashford.
She perked up, and was about to give him one of her trademark happy greetings when she felt it.
There was a different energy around him... she didn't even have to hold his hand to feel it, something was... wrong.
"Nii-Sama...?" She asked quietly as he approached her.
"Sorry I'm late Nunnally, I was helping Kallen and her brother with something."
His voice was... it was disturbingly quiet and calm as he walked up to her.
On instinct, she reached out for his hand, and took hold.
She almost let go in disbelief, recoiling at what she felt, but tightened her grip.
Pain, so much pain. She felt it. It swallowed him whole, his soul was in agony.
The bright light that shined within him had completely gone out. There was nothing left, not even a spark. She searched and searched and found not even a glowing ember.
'No... no please... what happened!? What went wrong!?' She screamed internally.
The darkness swallowed him whole. There was nothing but a bottomless pit, an endless abyss from which no light could escape.
Suddenly, he pulled his own hand away from her... he never did that before, he ALWAYS waited for her to let go, and it left her in a state of shock.
"I'm sorry Nunnally but I am feeling quite tired tonight. I'll see you in the morning." He said before she felt him leave her side and head to his room without another word.
Nunnally sat there, shocked, and scared, and sad. She brought her hands up to her face clawing at it as frustration and sorrow built up inside her.
There was nothing she could do. Nothing at all, whatever happened to Lelouch had gotten to him. This was worse than anything she had ever felt before. Even during the invasion there where a few fireflies of light, candles or hope.
There was nothing now.
She failed.
Her angel wasn't eating his wings.
He already ripped them off.
Lelouch was avoiding her.
It was just a few days ago that they'd gotten that new Glasgow. She was surprised to see that Lelouch had left early that night.
He didn't spare her so much as a glance or a word unless she initiated the conversation first. His answers where short with her, he had the same aloof attitude when talking to her that he had when speaking to almost everyone else in Ashford.
Closed off, reserved, paranoid, fearful.
What happened?
What did she say? What did she do? That night went perfectly! Or so she thought. What caused such a drastic change!?
He didn't join her at lunch, he avoided her in the halls, he didn't look at her in class, when she knocked on the door to the student council room Sayoko just apologized and said Lelouch didn't wish to be disturbed.
She tried talking to Nunnally, but even she seemed to be distant. Her brother's behavior must have been eating at her too.
"Nuna." Kallen tried again. "Please, you have to tell me something I'm begging you! Lelouch is avoiding me and I don't know why!"
She felt like pulling her hair out.
"... He's hurt..." Nunnally finally answered. "Not physically... but his heart, his soul... he's in agony..."
What?
"But why? What happened!?"
"I don't know Kallen but... what you're seeing now Kallen, the way Lelouch is acting... it's not the real Lelouch, it's a mask he wears."
"A mask?"
Nunnally nodded. "A defense mechanism... Lelouch and I... we where betrayed by our father, you already know that... he left us for dead here after our mom was murdered... that's when he started acting like this. He's afraid... more afraid than you know, paranoid, terrified even."
She continued. "The way he's acting now is his way of responding to stress and trauma. He pushes people away and puts up a front to make himself look strong. Being weak is why he and I where abandoned, without mom to protect us we where cast out, he's afraid of being seen as weak by others because he thinks they'll hurt him, hurt us."
Kallen drank in this information, mulling over it.
"I'd never hurt Lelouch!"
She felt awful, she had no idea what she said or did to get him to react this way but she wished more than anything to take it back. The fact that he felt the need to close himself off like this... it was wrong, just wrong. Lelouch had been her best friend for over 5 years at this point, and now he meant something even more to her.
Was it about his past? Was he afraid of her? She hoped not... she didn't want Lelouch to fear her, never!
"How do I fix it?" She finally asked, trying not to sound desperate.
Nunnally slumped in her seat.
"I don't know... he's not opening up to anyone, not even me." She admitted. "All I know is that something happened the night he went to help you and your brother, when he came back... he was acting the way you see him now. He's hurting bad Kallen..." Nunnally tried not to cry, but just thinking about how much pain Lelouch was in was causing her to choke up.
Kallen closed her eyes, trying to think of a solution, she did have one idea, but she wasn't sure...
Still, it was all she could think of at this point. So with her mind made up, she pulled out her phone and dialed a number. Milly's caller ID flashed up on the screen.
Lelouch stalked the halls of Ashford academy in silence, his shoulders slumped and his head hung low. Classes where out and Kallen wasn't around, so he let his mask drop. He could only keep his emotions bottled up for so long.
"Oh Lulu~"
Fuck.
He turned around to see Milly approaching, and sighed.
"Yes madame president?" He drawled.
"You're coming with me." She said simply.
What?
Before he could even protest, his arm was latched onto and Milly started to drag him off.
Now granted, Lelouch was a lot stronger now than he once was thanks to Kallen's training regimen, but he couldn't bring himself to fight Milly. She was his friend too and wouldn't do anything to hurt her, even if he really didn't want to be taken anywhere right now.
It was only after she shoved him into the student council room that he began to regret his decision to not run at the sound of her voice.
Kallen was there. The person he wanted to see most and yet was so scared to interact with. She was sitting on a chair on one side of the couch, Nunnally was on the other side in her wheelchair.
Milly dragged his ass over to the couch, threw him down, then pulled up a chair and took a seat in the middle, crossing her arms.
"Talk."
"Excuse me?" He asked.
"This is an intervention, you're avoiding Kallen, you're not acting right. You put up the wall again, you promised me you wouldn't and here you are doing it again. Cut the shit." Milly explained and demanded.
Lelouch frowned. "I do what I must." He said simply. "Nothing more."
"Really, so you must avoid Kallen, hurt both her and Nunnally's feelings by being a stubborn ass?"
He winced at that, he didn't have a response.
"What is it?" Milly asked. "What caused this?"
"You know why."
"I know your afraid, I want to know what it is that has you so worked up."
"I'm sure you do." He answered dryly.
Milly's eyes hardened, one leg crossing over the other.
"You aren't leaving until we get answers, real ones, you aren't getting out of this."
"This is kidnapping." He quipped.
"I have good lawyers." Milly shot back.
He was about to retort when Nunnally rolled closer, taking one of his hands.
"Big brother, please... it hurts me seeing you like this..."
That caused Lelouch to flinch, his body language shifting a little.
"I can't..."
"You can." Milly countered. Her voice was firm, but supportive.
"If I opened up then Kallen would hate me." He answered, trying to close himself off.
"No I wouldn't!" The redhead snapped.
"You already do, you said you wanted to kill me."
That made her recoil.
She never said that!
"Lelouch what are you talking about!? I haven't even thought of hating you much less hurting you!"
"You did, the night I helped you get the Glasgow."
Kallen wracked her brain, trying and failing to understand what he was saying.
'What is he talking about!? First he goes on about me rejecting him and then he talks about me wanting to kill him!? The only people I want dead are-'
Something clicked.
No... no it couldn't be...
Lelouch noted the look of realization in her eyes, seeing that she figured it out and had been stunned into silence, he decided the cat was out of the bag.
"Marianne the Flash was a knight of the Round, the knight of 6. What most people forget about her is that she was one of the Emperor's many consorts, she was an Empress. On December 5th 1999 she gave birth to a boy, and a few years later in October of 2003 she birthed a girl." He began, and Kallen found herself unable to speak, just staring at him.
He decided to go on. "Marianne and her children where social outcasts among the royal family. Mocked and ridiculed because Marianne was of French descent, a long time enemy of the empire, and even worse, she was a commoner by blood, not a noble, low-born filth sullying the royal lineage."
Nunnally tightened her grip on his hand.
"When her firstborn son was just 10 years old, he witnessed her assassination. She was gunned down in broad daylight. His younger sister was caught in the crossfire, she lost her ability to walk, and it was so traumatizing that she closed her eyes to the world."
He took a deep breath, and Kallen remained silent, completely unable to speak.
"When her son approached the Emperor, requesting an audience, demanding justice, his majesty asked what of it? It was old news to him. He cared not to even open an investigation."
He swallowed a lump in his throat.
"The boy was intelligent, but emotional, his pain was evident, and in outrage, he declared his disgust with the royal family, with his father, and he refused to be a pawn. In front of the entire royal court, he spat on his name, declaring that he gave up his claim to the throne, that he would not be a puppet."
Kallen's eyes widened, completely stunned at the idea of someone giving up such power.
He continued. "You are dead to me."
That caused Kallen to tense up.
"That was the Emperor's response. You are dead to me, you have always been dead to me. You and your sister will be sent to Japan as political hostages."
The final pieces began to fall into place as Kallen clenched her fists, she dared not blink or interrupt.
"The young prince and princess, now nothing more than pariahs to the royal family, where sent off to a foreign land with nobody to protect them. Though, the young prince did make fast friends with the son of the prime minister with help from his sister's disarming nature."
He closed his eyes.
"Then the bombs dropped. The prince realized then that he wasn't even a political hostage, he and his sister where meant to be martyrs, sacrifices to Britannia's war machine, lambs sent to slaughter, they where meant to die that day. He escaped, frail as he was, and carried his sister through the blood... and the death, and the fire... his friend, the prime minister's son, got separated from him in the chaos."
He sighed.
"With no transportation or protection, the boy carried his crippled sister for days on end with no hope in sight. He nearly starved and dehydrated himself to death trying to keep her safe, and he had nearly given up." Lelouch said, wringing his hands nervously.
"Then he met 2 people. A young man and the sister he was fighting to protect. The prince was afraid, but desperate. He wanted to save his own sister and knew he couldn't do it alone. He was tempted to flee, at first. But he saw too much of himself and his sister in the siblings that where being attacked by the soldiers destroying his new home. He took a gamble, and it paid off."
He turned to look at Kallen.
"Lelouch and Nunnally Vi Britannia, children of the late Marianne Vi Britannia, did not die as intended. They now live the life of commoners in the Tokyo settlement, hiding from the royal family that cast them out and refusing to be part of its legacy..." He turned away.
"Lelouch wants justice for Japan, for the world because of what his father has done. He wants justice for his mother and sister, for himself, and to make the world a better place. But he didn't-"
Lelouch choked up a bit.
"He... didn't realize that he'd get so attached to his new family, or that he... that he'd fall in love with his best friend." He whispered quietly.
He waited then, for several long, agonizing moments. He expected her to scream, to call him a monster, curse his name. He expected disgust and hate and threats and disbelief.
Kallen got up, walked over to the couch, and sat on his lap, pushing him into the cushions.
He was about to say something in protest when his lips where caught up in hers.
She kissed him, it was slow, soft, gentle, and full of warmth. It was a show of love, and an apology.
He'd been a fool, again. He and Kallen had been the closest of friends for 5 long years now. She never could have hated him, no matter what. How could he think such things?
But Kallen felt awful, she understood now what she had done to him, that she had caused him so much pain, it ate at her. She wished she had known but at the same time, she couldn't hold it against him.
How could she? To have such a dark past- he wanted to forget about it, clearly, the pain he felt was all too real. He wasn't a monster, he wasn't one of them, he was a hurt, scared boy who wanted to be loved.
She meant what she said, she could never hate him, ever.
She broke away then, her eyes burrowing deep into his, peering into his very soul.
"I'm sorry Kallen... for not telling you sooner. I wanted to, I really did. I... I just..."
"It's ok." She answered. "I finally have the last pieces of my puzzle, the puzzle of my best friend." She smiled.
They where both crying.
"It's nice to meet you, Lelouch Vi Britannia."
The dam finally broke, all the pent up emotions he felt washed away into a sea of calm, and Nunnally felt the darkness within him burst into a see of vibrant flames.
"The pleasure is all mine, Kallen Kozuki."
She gave a small smirk.
"The name's Stadtfeld, actually."
These words meant so much more than it appeared on the surface, an acceptance of their true selves, their real names.
Kallen had taken on the name Kozuki out of hatred of her Britannian side and a desire to prove she was more Japanese.
Lelouch took on the name Lamperouge to honor her mother and reject his past.
They didn't have to hide anymore, they didn't have to reject who they where, they didn't need their masks, they where complete.
Nunnally and Milly both smiled, and the unseen tension of the room finally broke.
'They look so cute together.' Milly acknowledged.
Nunnally herself was ecstatic, Lelouch's soul was healing again, the darkness was all but gone.
Finally, he had someone he could talk to, to share everything with, to help him shoulder his burdens and ease his mind.
The wings of her angel where starting to grow back, and she had a feeling they'd be bigger than ever.
AN: Sniffs It's so beautiful, young love
Proceeds to cry my eyes out.
Next Chapter: Things happen.
Please review!