Hi there,
This is the last chapter. Yes, it's short. Intended for an O.S. but it was too long in one part. However, if you're passing through that lonely place where crossovers are archived and venture out to read this story, take a good look behind you once you've finished reading. You might find the spooky, long-toothed nun watching you in the gloom. Other than that, she's a good babysitter.
Trick or treat? HAHAHAHAH! Happy Halloween!
When they arrive with Brian as their assistant, accountant and manager, the door to the Simpson home is opened by the mistress of the house, Marge Simpson, whose hairstyle resembles the Tower of Pisa, much to Peter's surprise. Suddenly, the father of the family, Homer, throws himself at the feet of the Warrens, tearfully imploring them to rid his family of this evil nun who haunts the premises of their not-too-modest home.
"She's horrible, if you only knew. Almost every night she forces me to say my prayer for the salvation of my soul before I go to bed, she whispers in my ear that it's wrong to drink so much and that laziness is a vile sin and that I'm one of the worst sinners she's seen. I beg you! I beg you, please. Drive her out of our house. She's so scary with her glow-in-the-dark eyes and her hooked nose. She even has sharp teeth that grow when she gets angry. She's so ugly!" he adds, still crying after furtively exclaiming when he's finished that the nun is ugly.
The poor fellow seems completely frightened and terrorized by this presence that apparently doesn't mean him any good. Strange, isn't it!
The Warren then help the tormented head of the family to his feet, and head into the dining room where everyone sits around the table. The couple then ask each of them to recount their experiences with this evil entity. Lisa, 8 years old, very mature for her age and a studious student, is the first to speak.
"I find her quite kind and benevolent with me. She even helped me with my homework."
At this point, the little girl is interrupted by her heavy-handed but still nice father, who tells her to be quiet, adding that it doesn't add up to anything interesting.
"But Daddy?" she says, disconcerted.
"No, Lisa." he insists more calmly. It's not what these good people want to hear. You understand, they want sensationalism." he finishes, using a tone full of fervor before questioning the Warrens as if to get confirmation from them.
The couple look at each other and answer with a hesitant yes. But Homer Simpson is right. This is what the Warren want. The father of this family is certainly a simpleton, not very smart, but he has seen through the motivation of those who have come to help them, equipped with their film cameras and other accessories. What they've brought won't be used, as they don't have the time. Is their intervention free or not? ? Nothing will be said about this. Who cares?
In the '70s, this kind of paranormal event always frightened people and aroused curiosity and anxiety when it was investigated, especially in this type of Amytiville-style shack.
"Are we going to be on TV?" asks the eldest son, Bart Simpson, excitedly.
Lois and Peter Warren look at each other again, then it's Brian who answers yes for them with the same hesitation. Marge, very observant and suspicious, wonders if they might be charlatans. But who else could they ask to help them? They're reputable, apparently respected for their skills... So, no choice but to believe them. It was the Simpsons' neighbor, Ned Flanders, who advised them to call on them, and after the Simpson family asked the Reverend Love Joy to get in touch with the Warrens. Maybe it was taken care of "financially" by the church? Nobody cares anymore anyway. Anyway, here's how the Simpsons got that help. The Waren are here now.
And not just them at this second. Suddenly, they all hear a ball bouncing on every step of the stairs facing the front door of the house. Everyone turns his or her head in that direction, a frightened look on their faces.
"What's that?" asks Lisa, her voice frightened, going to take refuge in her mother's arms.
They all decide to get up at the same time, moving very slowly towards the stairs before raising their heads very cautiously towards the top of the steps. A long sigh of great relief echoes down the hallway, and everyone realizes that it's only the Simpsons' youngest child, 1-year-old Maggie, who has dropped her tiny red ball. However, Marge and Homer then wonder, especially Marge and then Lois, how could a baby who can barely stand on her own two feet have found her way out of her room? Especially since his bed has bars.
Soon, a shadow appears behind Maggie. Beady, glowing eyes begin to sparkle like car headlights before Homer cries out in panic that it's the terrifying, hideous nun, going to hide behind his wife. Their baby is then lifted off the ground by secure arms, then the nun descends the stairs holding Maggie in her arms and places her on the floor once at the bottom of the stairs. Marge hastens to take her daughter in her arms, huffily demanding that the nun stay away from them and leave their house. The evil entity refuses, very upset, and then shows her nasty, sharp teeth, which grow in three seconds.
Everyone screams in fear, running for the cellar door, which is in another narrow corridor near the stairs. The door is then locked, but the nun appears on the treacherous wooden stairs, where Homer often falls, and makes them scream even more. Especially Peter and Homer, who scream the loudest.
For the next twenty minutes, the Simpsons and Warren are chased through the big house, whose walls have been covered with crosses and holy water to protect them from evil. They finally find refuge in the attic, then Marge asks them what they intend to do to drive the demon out of their house.
Peter and Lois look at each other again, remaining silent. While holding Maggie tightly in her arms, the lady of the house then asks them if they really are who they say they are. Seconds later, Peter starts to panic, tearfully confessing that they've always been faking it to get media coverage.
"My wife is indeed a medium and I'm indeed a demonologist, a hunter of evil spirits. But the houses we pretended to purify by hunting demons weren't inhabited by real ghosts. Except for the Annabelle doll, which is really possessed. And she killed our daughter Meg," he finished, crying harder, his hands covering his face.
Marge, Bart, Lisa and Maggie, who drops her pacifier, look at the couple in bewilderment, feeling even more distressed. Homer then breaks down in tears, uttering these very pessimistic words.
"We're all going to die! Or at worst, we're all going to convert to ch we're all going to convert to Christianity."
Lisa, being a Buddhist, screams back.
"NO!"
At that moment, the attic door bursts open, ripped open by a violent gust of wind, the nun appearing this time without in a thick cloud of dust.
"Oh, I should clean here more often," Marge realizes, embarrassed.
Courageously, Lois walks up to the nun and asks her, in a firm voice, what she wants.
"The eyes of St. Lucia." Bart replies, his voice hypnotized and enigmatic.
The nun approaches Lois more closely and answers in a soft voice that surprises everyone. At this point, Marge looks at her son and asks him why he said that. Bart shrugs, answering that he learned that in Sunday school class this week.
"I just thought it looked good. It adds to the mystery. Because we're so bored!" he adds, his tone a little annoyed.
"Bart! Watch your mouth!" she said authoritatively.
Meanwhile, the nun and Lois are still standing face to face. It's about time.
"I'm not a demon disguised as a nun. I'm a real nun. I wanted to be a nanny when I was a young girl. But my father sent me to a convent after my mother was committed to an asylum because she had visions. And I inherited this gift. They thought I was a demon and I was burned alive for it.
"Oh, my God!" exclaims Lois, almost confused, looking horrified.
Marge then joins them after hearing this frightened account, sympathetic.
"Oh, you poor thing!"
The three of them then start chatting while Peter Warren, Homer, Lisa and Bart Simpson start playing horsy, the box found not far from them. Guessing that they'll be at it for a while, with the nun already pouring her heart out on each of their shoulders as she recounts her tragic fate, they decide to kill time by playing the game, which quickly becomes boring.
Meanwhile, at the Warrens' home, Chris continues to dig relentlessly, motivated by the future magical appearance of chocolate eggs. But it's not Easter, it's May. Finally! ...
A week later, the Warrens return to the Simpsons, who greet them with a big smile, announcing that they've hired the nun as a full-time nurse and she's now living with them officially. She's a gem, according to Marge and all the kids except Homer, who still thinks she's a demon when she warns him about her addictions. But all's well that ends well ... For the Simpsons, anyway. A case solved for real this time.
As for the Warrens... They must have confessed to Chris, that leprechauns, fairies, magic in general, didn't exist, after he died frozen by that weird cold. He must also have played at digging in the earth day and night, not sleeping and hardly eating, so obsessed was he with chocolate eggs. Why chocolate eggs? Don't ask me. I don't know a damn thing.
However, thanks to him, the hole he had dug had become very deep and large. The parents were thus able to bury their two missed children.
Telling the truth once was fine, but twice would have forced them to admit that they were in some way impostors. To have confessed it to a non-living person had been bearable for their conscience. And that evil laugh, when they'd finished revealing everything to their dead, blue son. Brian the dog understood that it was his masters who had the evil in them.
The Annabelle doll was never heard from again, and Stewie Griffin was cured of measles. Until...
Don't ask me again what happens next, I don't know a damn thing. I'm just doing this narrator job because I need the money to pay for the rest of my studies. We can only assume that something terrifying is going to happen again. But what will it be?
Unfortunately, the story ends there. Maybe Stewie will catch chickenpox and infect everyone. Maybe their faces will be filled with a bunch of purulent pimples that will splatter on people's faces, and then the news will report a highly contagious case of chickenpox that will drive people crazy and see dead people everywhere.
The good news for the Warren is that they'll be in even greater demand, they'll be talked about even more in the media and their investigations will be true. No more lies, no more lying about who they really are."
"And now it's over now." sing Peter and Homer together after grabbing the microphone from the narrator, who then left, not giving a damn.
Working overtime, that has a limit!
The narrator quickly returns, however, just to finish the one minute he has left.
"That's right, I forgot to detail how the Simpsons dressed in the '70s. Let's just say ... Lisa was dressed a bit like Meg, as were Marge and Lois in their beige skirts that reached down to their calves. Chris, Peter and Homer were dressed like Meg, but masculine and without the cap. Homer works at the nuclear plant whenever he wants, Marge is a housewife and their house is even better maintained since they hired the nun. Bart and Lisa go to school, and Maggie has a habit of wearing out her pacifiers quickly and continuously.
The nun, whose name is Irene and who used to be called Sister Irene, tried to get Maggie to stop sucking, but she bit him with her first sharp little tooth. The Simpsons discovered a little later that they were the descendants of that nun. All was now clear. Everything would work out for everyone, hopefully."