Here it is. I'm super excited to share this one, but not as excited as I will be for a later chapter. Heehee.
Anyway, I hope you all love it and thanks for the support, as always.
You know the drill by now. Chapter 5 will be up on my site within a few minutes of this chapter being posted.
And for anyone wanting to know, I usually update within a week. If it goes over a week it's because I got super tied up with life. So, thanks for your patience in advance if that happens. We still got 11 chapters to go. Woo!
A hundred thoughts jumbled her brain, but there was no time for words as Damon crawled over her, bringing her hands to either side of her head and locking his fingers around her wrists.
Thick planes of muscle lined her softness, pressing her into the mattress. His breath warmed her ear.
"I'm too hungry to fight with you, so please"—his tongue drew a languid path up her throat—"stay still."
The razor-like slice of his fangs poised her mouth into a noiseless scream as they buried deep. The fragment of a cry shattered along the walls of her room, her body lost, her mind warped to the euphoria.
His hands slipped up from her wrists, long fingers winding with her own. She gripped, holding onto the only thing grounding her while she succumbed to the rhythmic sucks of his mouth. She may as well have been putty. Her limp muscles were his to mold, her bones as good as paper, weightless and breakable.
Was it like this for everyone? Would she grow a tolerance with enough bites?
His body rolled against hers, strangled sounds slipping between swallows. Something hard poked her inner thigh.
Her head spun with possibilities, with uninhibited desire, leaving no time to ponder the reasoning for his arousal, only what she wanted to do with it.
Bonnie bucked, drawing out a low vibration from his throat. It was a warning, but she refused to heed it. Wriggling, she slipped her legs out from under him and forced him to sink between her thighs. The whole of him pressed into her through her flimsy sleep shorts. Long and thick.
Bonnie started a steady rock against him. If this was the closest they would ever be, then so be it.
He pulsed, his tip rubbing against her clit, and she fought against the moans threatening to out her. How much pleasure could she get away with before he stopped them?
His hands squeezed, constricting the blood flow to her fingers. Was he asking her to stop? Her hips stilled, her thighs twitched, struggling not to constrict around his hips.
One of his hands slipped from hers, flying down to her thigh. He hitched it higher, grinding down into her center. Bonnie's world fell apart, split open for him to ruin. Digging her ankle into his bottom, she drove him on, kept him close while she moved with him.
Every hit to her clit was ecstasy, bringing a wave of relief that only wound her tighter.
"Damon," she moaned, curling her fingers in his hair.
A mistake.
His hand shot to her hip, gripping the bone like he might break it.
Then his fangs retracted, taking that ethereal, full-body pleasure with them.
"Stop, stop, stop, stop," he hissed in rapid succession, like he was tsking her with little disapproving clicks of his tongue.
A wave of sobs thrashed up her throat, and she whimpered. A stupid, desperate precursor to her cries that she never wanted him to hear.
With a swipe of his tongue, he sealed her bite wound, and she fought the urge to jerk away, to revoke his access to her in any way she could. He didn't deserve it in the first place.
"I told you not to move," he grunted.
The lack of friction made her horribly aware of the emptiness between her legs, and she clenched around nothing.
"You moved too," she shot right back. He was not going to blame her.
"You moved first." His bloody gaze drifted, and her head filled with memories of times their lips had met.
At the school dance he'd slipped into, when he'd lured her into his arms before she'd even known his name. He'd kissed her hardest then, and longest. Leaving her in a fog. A wonderful fog that she'd always wanted again.
Bonnie mimicked him, trailing down to look at the lips stained with her blood. "I couldn't … help it …"
As if in trance, Bonnie smashed her lips to his, reveling in their likeness to cushions. They weren't thin, but not thick either. Just enough to mold to hers, to suck between her teeth.
With a sharp intake of breath, Damon let his lips make their careful dance along hers. But it wasn't enough this time. Not nearly enough. Her face screwed against his, pressing her lips harder for the more she knew he was holding out on.
She wanted to taste the iron coating his tastebuds, feel his fangs scrape the soft inner side of her lip.
Two little flicks of his tongue had her mouth parting, and he dipped in to taste her.
He was copper and mint toothpaste and piney musk all at once, and she clutched at the stupid black t-shirt barricading her from his skin. His tongue laved against hers as she savored him. Pulling his lower lip between her teeth, she sank into the red-tinged flesh, giving him a bite of her own.
He groaned, perfectly clear in her ears. It was deep, forbidden, and fell straight to her core. Wetness pooled in her skimpy shorts, and she rocked against him just a little. Just enough to fan the flames bringing her blood to a simmer. This time, the weight that stilled her wasn't his hand but his hips, taking pleasure in hers. Stars fell from the heavens to land behind her eyes as she tipped her head back to catch them.
"Tell me to stop." Heavy breath fanned her throat, his fangs nipping little bits of her skin. "We need to stop."
Her fingers slid up his back to the satin tresses of his hair. They should stop. The circumstances were muddled, the complexity threatening all they had built. But the hot mist of his mouth condensing on her skin, seeping into each layer to pleasure the nerves there, it tainted her blood with desire. The loss of it—of him—would be too much to withstand.
"I know."
With a strangled groan hung somewhere between bliss and torture, Damon cradled her, pressed her to his body until their clothing was almost obsolete. His hips picked up pace, grinding into hers with a vigor she had yet to know from him.
It was intoxicating.
His mouth migrated back up her throat, and his tongue swiped in to tackle hers. He was ravenous, more animalistic than she'd ever known him to be. And her body was … reacting, responding in ways she'd never thought it would.
Her ankles were locked behind his back; her fingers were fisted—pulling at his roots; and her hips were shamelessly rolling, taking what they wanted along his length.
His fingers hooked into the waistband of the flimsy shorts sticking between her thighs. "Lift up for me."
Doing as he said, her pulse jumped when he slipped the cotton shorts down her legs.
Insecurities broke through her haze. She was naked from the waist down. In front of Damon. Because of Damon.
Her breath stopped as she watched his hand disappear between them. Cold metal aglets slapped against her inner thighs as he shoved his pants down.
When his hips settled back into hers, she gasped. Her heart felt like it was tumbling down a cliff as he slid bare along her folds.
"Fuck," Damon cursed, his voice barely present as he made a mess of them.
She didn't need to see him to know he was big. She could feel it in the way he took long strokes, in the weight of his balls smacking against her ass.
Her nails bit into his arms, into the ribbons of muscle suspending him easily over her. "Please don't stop."
Damon's hand snuck up to tangle in her curls. "I won't."
With a gentle thrust, he slipped into her.
Bonnie's desire flared.
"I want all of you. Please. Please." All the hurt from his past rejections resurfaced to strangle her throat.
Damon plunged deep, all the way to capacity. Bonnie choked on her breath as he stretched her out. His head fell to hers, breathing her name onto her lips. She caught every molecule on her tongue, memorizing the way he looked inside her. Face screwed as if in the most blissful torture he'd ever endured, his hair disheveled from her fingers, his body tensed with need and struggling to keep its thrusts weak.
To let her adjust, she assumed.
She didn't need to adjust. She was made to take him.
"More." She scratched into his back, his ass, fingertips slipping below the sweats hanging around his legs. "More. Ple—"
Damon rutted into her, once, twice, then relentlessly. His pace was a brutal bliss, striking her with pleasure, forcing it into her womb. She couldn't breathe, couldn't think, but she held him that much tighter, angling her hips for him to go deeper. And he did, hitting her in a place that blackened the edges of her vision.
It was harder than she would've thought to keep her cries quiet. Bonnie buried them in his chest, biting into the fibers of his shirt as she coiled so tight around him she was sure her muscles might snap.
Damon buried his own noises in her pillow, muffling the heady moans and mewls of her names. Bonnie, Redbird … "Baby," he let slip, pounding deep in that spot that made her back arch.
"So close. I-I need …" Bonnie reached down to find Damon's hand already there.
Long fingers splayed along her abdomen, possessing it, claiming it as he pressed to make her fuller. With his thumb, he massaged into her swollen button, adding delicious pressure until she was peaking, thrashing.
Bonnie tumbled with his name on her lips, writhing with each contraction, her thighs clenching around his waist.
"Fuck. Just like that. Fall apart for me." His tongue traced a path up her exposed throat.
Bonnie's eyes fluttered open to watch him get off inside her. She watched his brows pinch, his temple stain with sweat, his jaw muscles tense as he gritted his teeth. And she trailed shaky fingers beneath his shirt, mapping how his abs rolled, strained with his need. They were rigid under her fingers.
With one last thrust, he collapsed into her, pouring his ragged grunts into the pillow she laid on and bucking out of rhythm.
A soft smile lifted her lips as his warmth spilled into her, and she turned her nose into his skin to savor him, to kiss along the junction of his throat.
"Mmm, little seductress." His voice was a low rumble, like distant thunder, soothing under the right conditions but always dangerous. "We shouldn't have done that."
Her pointer finger petted the hollow of his throat. "You didn't like it?"
Damon sighed, shallowing the hollow. "You know that's not the reason."
"Humor me."
He rolled off her, and she was hit with familiar emptiness at the loss of his weight.
"I'm seeing someone, Redbird." He sat on the edge of the bed, his feet flat on the floor. "You just got out of a relationship." His head fell into his hands.
Bonnie rolled to face his back, propping on her elbow. "You're not a rebound."
Damon's fingers raked through his hair, taking sweat-dampened strands back to join the rest. "But I am a cheater, Bonnie."
His head shook. "I know you're available, but I'm not."
Bonnie's mood soured, and she sat upright. "That's your fault."
Damon twisted. "What?"
Nervous hands jumped from her lap. "You rushed into the first relationship you could find as soon as Elena left. Instead of coping. Instead of realizing that I'm right here." Her courage waned, taking her volume with it. "I've always been here."
Any anger in the dark-haired vampire's expression fell with the deflation of his chest. "Don't do that to me."
But Bonnie carried on, caught in all the feelings she'd hidden from him. "Why don't you want me?"
The bed jostled, and suddenly he was right there, taking her under the arms, pulling her into his lap. She sat there half naked, tear-stained, straddled over the sweatpants he'd tugged back up.
"I do want you, you silly girl." He helped her wipe her eyes as she looked up to very serious, very soft inky pools. "You think I went into a relationship because of Elena?"
His forehead dropped to hers, and his head shook.
"Why would you …" Bonnie trailed off, unsure of what else to say, what to ask. She'd been single, she'd been waiting for him. For a long time. And he was there, single himself, for all of it. He could've had her at any time. She'd given him so many opportunities. But he'd never jumped on a single one. It was his choice to tie himself down. It was his fault she didn't know what to make of them.
She could've come up with a million reasons why this was dumb … except for the one he gave her.
"You are all that I have." His nose nudged hers as he emphasized each word. "I can't lose you."
Lose her? That was absurd! As if she'd go anywhere. If anyone was worried about the other leaving, it should've been her. Considering he'd already done it. Multiple times!
Her hands lifted to his face, needing to comfort him, needing to make him understand. "I would never leave—"
Damon caught her hands before they could reach him, holding them in a crushing grip. "What choice would you have? If we ever broke up, I'd never see you again."
She squeezed back. "Then let's not break up."
The brilliant smirk that usually put butterflies in her stomach only gave way to a pit as it flashed across his face. "So what happens when we have another dark dimension? Or another Shinichi? What happens when you get taken away again?" His eyes flicked to hers, bloodshot for a whole different reason. "What happens when I can't save you?"
Bonnie didn't have an answer. She searched and searched until her head ached, but the only answer that came up was that there wasn't one. Not a good one. None that would put him at ease.
Her insides crumpled as she saw the tear slip from his eye. She followed it all the way down his cheek, never realizing how many scars had been left on his soul. How he dwelled on them. How he feared them.
With cautious fingers, she wicked the wetness away. "None of those things were your fault. People get kidnapped or shot or go missing every day. It's not just supernatural. Humans can be just as dangerous."
"I can hunt down a human." The malicious intent in his voice made the invisible hairs on her arms raise. She knew he could. That he would.
But she tried him anyway. "What if you can't?"
Equipping something of a smirk, he tossed her that look. The one that told her she was foolish if she thought that was true.
"If we're talking hypotheticals …" she pressed.
His lips settled back into their stoic line, wounds reflecting in his eyes. "Mine weren't hypotheticals."
Bonnie wanted to smack him until his chest was red from her fists, until she hit some sense back in that stubborn brain.
"Yes, they were, because none of that actually happened. You found me in time. You saved my life. I'm still here." She pressed his hand to her chest, over her heartbeat, letting him feel the thrum that kept her alive.
He took his hand away. "And I'd like to keep it that way."
Bonnie slumped, dropping both hands to her thighs. "So, what's the alternative? To watch me be with someone else?"
"If it means you're alive. Yes."
Bonnie had made sense of a lot of his mystery. But this had left her stumped.
Her eyes brimmed with the bleakness of her reality. "That's not living, that's torture."
Damon traced her cheek, taking the loose strands of curls and tucking them behind her ear. "Maybe. But I'd rather have you fighting me over it, wasting your breath on every stupid insult you can think of, than see that pretty fire leave your eyes for even a second."
His thumb traced along her undereye, over the swell of her cheekbone.
Her lip trembled. "It leaves when you're not here."
"Then I can come back and reignite it," he countered, looking over her face like she was an ancient mural, a masterpiece crafted by the finest painter's hand.
She would've admired him too if she wasn't picturing her fist driving into his nose.
Biting into her cheek, she dulled the outburst armed along her tastebuds. They were bitter, oozing with frustration. It flavored her mouth sour and brine. She grimaced, wanting to scream, to tackle him, hit him, make him feel like she did. Because it wasn't fair. He couldn't just decide her fate for her.
But all that came out was a weak admission on a choked breath. "Well, it's my choice too. And I don't want to be apart from you …"
"Then we'll agree to disagree. Because I say no." He traced the shell of her ear like he was unfazed, unbothered with this future.
Her blood boiled. "You can't!"
"Yes, I can." He spoke on that same calm octave. It was infuriating.
"You can't!" She slapped his hand from her face. "You already slept with me."
Damon's brow quirked as if in challenge, those dark voids slitting in time with his mouth. "You think I can't walk away?"
Her heart skipped over its next two beats, but her eyes never left his as she shook her head. "Or else you would've before."
His steady voice lowered. "If it weren't for the bite, I would've."
"I don't believe you." She wanted to see how low his tone would go, wanted to hear the growl fraying the edges of his speech. It meant she was in the right place, agitating the right monster.
"Then I'll just have to show you."
Her back hit the bed as he shoved her off his lap.
Damon's feet padded across the floor as he moved to grab his shoes. Bonnie popped upright, her curls spilling into her face, framing her vision with fire. "What are you doing?"
Damon unzipped the first boot and bent to his foot.
"You are not leaving." The breath in her lungs grew thick.
"I can leave when I want—"
"You will not treat me like a one-night stand, Damon Salvatore."
He stopped.
"You won't." Her voice gave out as tears sprung behind her eyes.
Damon's outline was blurry as he walked back toward her. Large hands cupped her face, swiping away the few tears that had spilled over.
His lips landed at the crown of her head. "I'll stay. Alright? For tonight." He kissed her hairline. "But not in your bed."
She barely had time to nod before he was crawling back into his makeshift bed at the foot of hers.
Sniffling up her sorrows, she laid in the divot his body had pressed hers into and pulled the comforter around her. The spiced scent of him hung in the sheets, his sweat woven into the threads. Ethereal, somehow as it enveloped her, only just making up for the loss of his body.
Sighing into her pillow, she drifted into a wish that would never be. Her body tangled with his for infinity.