CHAPTER 11: PROJECT MCGGA

He thought that he was a strong man, the master of his universe. He felt like he was anything but, when he looked at the mess he made. His house was dirty, filthy even. Broken bottles, glasses, and trinkets around. Blood seeping from his feet. He was doing fine. Until that son of a bitch had the audacity to send him a photo. Anastasia was in a dress, midnight blue. Her long hair fell perfectly, her face full of joy as she and Kate looked at the baby clothes. He just wanted an update. To hear that everything was fine. He didn't want to see. If he wanted to see her, he would've stopped her when she wanted to move out weeks ago. He allowed her to go because he couldn't bear to look at her. 4 months pregnant, her belly looked huge. He called to doctor one day, to ask if it was normal. It was because she was a tiny woman. She showed up early, he said. Christian hated looking at the photo. Her hand rubbed her belly. Her ocean eyes were bright. She didn't know what she was carrying. He didn't want to see. Luke Sawyer was a dead man for sending a photo. He didn't want a photo.

He was fine before. He wasn't after. It was like something snapped. Everything came rushing in. It was like a dam broke and all the water came inside his head, flooding.

"I'm worried for you, Christian. But my doctor says that I can't keep being this stressed. I'll move out. Even then I'll be on bed rest until my vitals become normal." A gentle hand brushing his hair, he- pulling away.

"Honey, Gail says you told her not to come until you say so. I can see you are not eating. Tell me, what's wrong?" Silence.

"It seems like one of the boys had been giving Mrs Lincoln the passwords we change and turning the cams down when she comes. We need to check all the documents and information we have and make sure she doesn't have anything that might harm you." Harm? No. Elene wouldn't harm him. She is his only friend.

"Christian, you can't go on like this... Anastasia is pregnant. She needs you with her." No, she doesn't.

"Son, you need to get yourself together. We are in a crisis. Anastasia and your mother are fighting. Because of Elena. We don't know why but she threw a fit when she learned that your mother showed Elena sonograms. She's saying she won't let us see the baby once they are here. You need to get yourself together." His father didn't make sense. His voice was under the water anyway.

He pushed and pushed everything down.

Until the photo.

He couldn't, not anymore. He screamed, so loud that Taylor rushed with his gun raised. He kept hitting him, throwing anything he could find to his huge body. More screaming. Screaming until his lungs hurt. His chest is burning, and his back, too. He wants to get out of his skin, it hurts.

When he becomes aware of his surroundings, he notices the blood under his feet first. How strange it looks... Blood sweeping and mixing with the tiny pieces of glass. They look like snow. It snowed in January. But which month was it? It didn't snow anymore. He looked up, to see Taylor, his hands splayed to show that he wasn't moving and he didn't have anything. Why? Taylor's lip was busted, a bruise forming on his cheek. What happened? He kept looking at the mess, confused.

"Sir?"

"What, Taylor?" His voice was raspy and low. His throat hurt. Why? "What happened?"

"Nothing, sir. You hurt yourself. Can I approach and help you?" He frowned. How did he hurt his feet and his throat at the same time? He nodded. Taylor came, pushing the pieces of broken glasses around with his shoes, to open a way. He kneeled to check under his feet. They were so bloody, he felt like puking at the view. Taylor led him to sit down, telling someone to bring the first aid kit.

"Can I call someone, sir? Please. Your mother?" He shook his head. He didn't want her.

"Anastasia." A broken whisper.

"Dude, I don't understand why you hate that lady that much but if Christian accepted that you are the decision maker about baby, YOU ARE. I'm starting to hate this family, to be honest." Anastasia sighed. They were sitting on the couch, in her living room. It still felt weird to call the place hers but it was. Christian didn't say much when she said she wanted to move out but soon a realtor contacted her. She thought she was renting a house until they gave her the papers to show that the house was hers. It wasn't close to Escala, on purpose. She didn't want to be tempted to go to Christian. It had two floors and a tiny garden. She wanted to plant some trees and put a swing maybe, after the baby. She wasn't supposed to lift anything.

"You don't need to hate anyone. I don't. I promise them they can see the baby but on my terms. She's acting like it is her baby, it's not!"

"Exactly! Ugh. Having a billionaire's baby is not as fun as it sounds." She rolled her eyes, making Ana laugh. They both looked up as Sawyer rushed, a guarded look on his face.

"Miss Steele, I'm sorry to interrupt but would you mind going to Escala?" She frowned. What did Christian want now? To call her to his feet after nearly 4 months of radio silence?

"Why?" He looked at Jean uncomfortably, who understood and excused herself. She needed to go home anyway.

"Mr. Grey had a mental breakdown." Her mouth fell open in shock. "Taylor says that it was pretty bad, he destroyed his piano and pretty much the whole apartment. He stood on broken glasses and his feet were also bad. He asked for you. Would you mind?"

"Oh my god... Of course, let's go." She took her coat quickly and rushed to the car as fast as she could. Mental breakdown? Christian? Christian Grey, the man who's the epitome of control? She couldn't believe it until they walked down the foyer to see a very concerned Ryan.

She couldn't believe her eyes when she saw the state of the house. But more concerning was the thin man in gray, dirty sweats and nothing else. 4 lines of deep nail scratches went down his chest. Did someone attack him? She felt her heart fall as she went to stand next to the couch. Taylor was also standing, arms crossed, his face beaten up. He shook his head slightly when she raised an eyebrow in question, to show that it wasn't important.

She raised a hand and gently brushed his dirty hair. How long didn't he shower?

"Christian?" He suddenly raised his head. Looked at her with broken eyes, full of sorrow and pain.

"Help me." He said, his voice raspy and low. He reached out and pulled her to his lap. Burying his face in her neck. She was horrified to feel the bones in his thighs as she sat. She to maneuver them so that she was sitting on the couch and he was half lying down, his arms around her and his face still in the crook of her neck. He kept breathing deeply and running his hand on her hair. It was so gentle and so needy, that she felt tears feeling her eyes. She didn't know how to help.

"Christian, talk to me. What happened?"

"Aren't you afraid?" She frowned. He didn't make any sense.

"Of what?" A gentle hand touched her belly. She jumped. That was the first time Christian touched her belly, she was surprised.

"Of him turning out like me."

"Why would I accept you as a donor if I was?" She tried to coax him to talk but it was very difficult, his voice was so broken and so low.

"Because you don't know."

"Know what?"

"That I'm a sadist." She kept quiet and took a moment to think. She had a lot of time to research BDSM and everything else, mainly because Merida encouraged her to do so. She said that Anastasia demonized the whole experience because she didn't know much. And the unknown was always scarier than the truth. She was right. She still didn't think that it was a lifestyle she would be in ever again but she understood. And those people weren't sadists. Christian definitely wasn't.

"You are not a sadist. You don't enjoy people's pain."

"I do. All of my subs look like my mother." She sighed, she suspected that since Grace showed her the family album and the only photo of Ella, Christian's birth mother. She was a brunette with long hair. This wasn't a shock, either.

"They are grown women and they consented to be your submissives. You are not a sadist because of that." He shook his head. Inhaling deeply in her neck again.

"You should be afraid. What if he turns out like me?" He poked her stomach again, lightly.

"You know what kind of a boy I'd have if he turns out like you?" She asked, her hand caressing his hair, tucking him between her belly and the couch, letting her body comfort him. He tensed and moaned, a painful, animalistic moan. She didn't wait for his answer.

"He would be gentle. His hands would run through mine as you do now. They would hold me tightly. They would caress the surface of a piano as if it was a cat, lovingly." She pressed a kiss to his hair. "My son would be a force to be reckoned with if he was like you. He would be brave, he wouldn't be afraid to go after what he wants, even if the whole world is against them. Maybe he wouldn't have an empire like you, but my son would be good at anything he chose to do, simply because he is brave and he gives his everything." She could feel his shoulders shaking but she kept going. "My son would be fair. Even the employees who are scared of him would know that they could go to him and he'd make a fair decision. He would be generous if he was like you. He would help anyone within his reach, but he would do it quietly, without show." She squeezed him as tight as she could. "If my son is like you, he would love. He would love quietly, and wholly. He would hang on to every word his mother said. He would seem uninterested when his father talks about the books he read recently but I'd find them in our library magically. He would love his sister and brother hard. Cleaning the obstacles in their chosen career path and do it quietly, without taking any credit." His shoulders shook harder now, she could feel her neck getting wet with his tears. "If he's like you, he'd love chocolate cake. He would love the sea. He would love puppies. He would roll his eyes behind Taylor at every chance he got, but get mad at me for doing it." A quiet chuckle.

"If my son is like you, they would make mistakes. He would trust the wrong people. He would listen to the wrong words. Maybe he would hurt himself, he would feel shitty sometimes. He would take the wrong path. But Christian, can I give you a secret?" She kissed his head again, tears pouring down her face. "If my son turned out like you, I'd love them with my whole heart, flaws, and everything. The good and the bad. Just as I love you." That made Christian sob openly and loudly, squeezing her hard as much as he could with her belly on the way. He kept apologizing, hugging, crying until he calmed down.

He stood up, helping her, too. She didn't let his hand go. He looked at his now red face, blotched but also looking much better than the first she arrived. She gently raised a hand and wiped his face with the sleeves of her pink sweatshirt. He put his hand on top of hers and leaned down. Taking deep breaths.

"I need help." She nodded. This was why she went to Greys' to talk about him but all they cared about was her decision about Elena. That pedophilic, venomous bitch. "Thank you. For being here. For everything." His voice was even lower, probably because of all the crying. She caressed his cheek.

"You do need help. But you are not alone. I'm here. We'll get through this together." More tears filled his eyes as he looked at her eyes. Blue vs gray. Both were filled with tears but also hope.

"You are so beautiful." She blushed. The second trimester brought lots of changes and she was actually very happy with how she looked. "May I?" He shyly reached out when she nodded and put his hand on her belly. Sprayed wide and he caressed. She felt tears spilling from her eyes. She couldn't help but think that maybe he needed this. The poor man tried to keep everything in for so long, that a breakdown was needed. His admitting needing help was huge.

"Will you let Taylor call someone and take a look at your feet, please?" He nodded. She called out for Taylor, who seemed very relieved to see Christian coherent. She kindly told him not to bring Grace but someone else.

A nurse came, Anastasia held his hand as he let the nurse pull the pieces out and stitch the parts that were needed. She wrapped his feet tightly and told him to rest. Which he proceeded to do by lying down on the couch with Anastasia again.

"I need to get better."

"You will be."

"I don't know how." His voice was a broken whisper.

"It's okay. I do." She felt him smile against her chest.

"You got bossy, Miss Steele."

"Yeah, you better get used to it, Grey. I'm the director of this project, okay?" He chuckled. "Project MCGGA."

"What?"

"Make Christian Grey Great Again." For the first time in forever, he laughed freely. Happy and hopeful. He missed being surrounded by her arms, he felt his eyelids growing heavy as his laughter died down.

After making sure he was sleeping deeply, Anastasia asked Taylor and Ryan to carry him to his bedroom. She called Gail, asking her to bring additional staff to clean up. They must've been professionals, the room got tidy again in one and a half hours. She called both Gail and Taylor to talk, they sat down as she started speaking.

"I understand that you are his staff. But I do know that he sees you more than that. Would you be willing to take more responsibility? He'll pay you more, of course. I need help, getting him back on track and I can't do that with his family. They don't know everything, they do stupid stuff. You, however, do."

"Miss Steele, of course we will!" Gail said, tears in her eyes. "I don't see Mr Grey as only my boss. Of course we'll do, anything." Taylor nodded, impressed with Anastasia's willingness to take this on herself, especially because of the way Christian treated her lately.

"Good, good. No Miss Steele by the way, it's Ana." She had been thinking about their roadmap since she promised Christian and she had a good idea. "First, we need to find a good facility. With kickass phsciatrists. Christian needs intensive therapy and maybe medication and God knows what else, he can't do that while working himself to death. Taylor, can you do the research? And get me in contact with Ros Bailey. She's going to keep GEH afloat." He nodded. "Second, his family. I know he doesn't want them to know but this can't go on like this. If he gets pissed at me, he'll be pissed. I don't care. He can count it as payback for the countless times he put his nose in my private affairs in the past. Bring them here, in his study this evening. The nurse gave him strong painkillers, he wouldn't wake up. We can talk when they are here. Will you back me up? About Elena and maybe his lifestyle?" Both nodded. They both thought that the Greys should've learned about Elena Lincoln witch long time ago. They were willing to share the blame if Mr. Grey got mad at them for telling them.

"Third, living arrangements. I don't think these types of facilities are supposed to be for the long term and he has so many negative memories here. I don't want him coming back here. He's isolated. The house next to mine is not occupied, I think. Can you find a way to rent it? I don't want to live with him but I think it's better if we are close." Taylor smiled with a fringe of guilt.

"Umm... Miss Steele- Ana, Mr Grey bought the houses next to yours. Both left and right."

"Of course." She said dryly. "Stupid control freak. Okay, that makes it easier. Pick one of them and make sure they are safe and ready to settle, okay?" Another nod.

"And Gail, I'm sorry to uproot your whole life but I'd really appreciate it if both of you could also move in with him."

"Of course," Gail said. Gently squeezing her hand.

"Of course. But it can't be just us. He needs more security." Anastasia nodded.

"Okay. I think we are ready to put this show on." They all smiled at each other, a silent form of bonding between them.

"I don't understand what was so urgent that couldn't wait until morning," Grace said sharply, as the whole family were seated in the big couches in Christian's study.

"Where is Christian?" Anastasia sighed. She knew that the Grey family didn't feel good about her and her baby since she made the scene about Elena but she didn't regret it at all.

"Please let me speak without interrupting. It's a long story and I'd appreciate it if you didn't make me stress out more them I already am." She caressed her belly pointedly. Kate was looking at her concerned, thinking something was wrong with the baby. She didn't have a lot of time to talk to Ana lately and it made her feel guilty, to see how big she got.

"There is no easy way to say this so I'm going to go ahead and rip the band-aid." She looked up at Taylor, who smiled encouragingly. He was in the room both to back Ana up and in case things went violent with Elliot. "When Christian was 15, Elena Lincoln seduced him." She watched as shock filled everyone's faces, as well as disbelief. "I'm sure you can pinpoint that it's also the time when he stopped acting out in school, his grades got better and he stopped fighting. The reason for that was Elena was abusing him regularly and 'training' him as her submissive." Grace and Carrick looked at each other, both remembering the time he stopped getting into trouble. He was indeed, 15.

"Submissive?" Mia asked, confused.

"It's some kind of a power play. There is a dominant and a submissive in a relationship. You can search for the specifics yourselves. Christian was Elena's submissive until he decided to drop out of Harvard. After that, he started to take the role of the dominant. He had submissives, contracted adult women who accepted to be his submissive. He had 15 before me, I was the 16th." Kate gasped and stood up immediately.

"Ana! You were a fucking virgin! Did that bastard rape you?!"

"Kate! Of course not, for God's sake! I accepted to be his submissive but I couldn't adapt to the role he wanted me to. This is why we broke up."

"You are lying." Elliot joined in, and despite the venom in his voice, Ana could see how hurt he was. "You are lying because Elena talked to me." She shook her head.

"I didn't even know it was her that made you hate me but I guess it makes sense. She kept telling Christian that BDSM was the only way he could be with women. That he wasn't made for love. And he wasn't made for relationships." Grace burst into tears, Carrick's arms circling her and looking at Anastasia carefully, to determine if she was lying or not. Despite her discomfort at being assessed so closely, Ana held her ground. They needed to face it before Christian woke up. "This is why he never brought anyone home, he didn't have girlfriends, he had submissives."

"I DON'T BELIEVE YOU!" Mia shouted, crying violently. "Why are you doing this?! I thought you loved him! First, you moved out, leaving him all by himself. And now you are spewing lies! Why?! Where is he?!" She moved towards the door, to go look for him but was swiftly blocked by Taylor.

"He had a mental breakdown today." She continued. "Taylor has videotapes if your heart can take it. He wasn't eating or sleeping. I don't know what happened to make him pull away like this but I moved out because he was treating me like a disease. I was on bedrest for 2 weeks because of the stress. I had to move out. Today he lost himself, he attacked Taylor. Destroyed the house, and piano and stepped on broken glass. He asked for me after he came to himself. I came." She watched as the whole family collapsed. Finally accepting the truth. Her heart ached for the family but she couldn't help but be resentful at their ignorance. Sure, they "tried" to reach him but they didn't try hard enough. They didn't see him hurting. Maybe they chose to. But she was harboring some grudge. Especially when she added the way they treated her lately. So she wasn't very upset, they needed to learn. She waited until Grace and Elliot calmed down a little bit.

"The nurse came to treat him, she pulled down the pieces and stitched some of the heavy wounds. He's under heavy pain killers so he's sleeping now. I called you here especially because of that. I'm going against his wishes telling you these things. He never wanted you to know."

"Why?" Grace exclaimed. "I'd have saved him! I didn't know! I kept inviting that vile woman to our house!"

"Because she convinced him that you'd hate him if you knew. He doesn't accept that he was groomed by a child molester. He keeps telling me that Elena is his friend and she helped him a lot etc. He never wanted you to know. But you should. Because I need your help in getting him back together. You didn't see him falling apart today. He hugged me and cried, sobbing for hours. He begged me to help him, and I will. But I can't do that if you don't know. I can't help him with his abuser constantly within reach." She tried to take a few deep breaths and make her heartbeat decrease. She couldn't afford to get her blood pressure to rise.

"I understand that this came as a shock, but I do. I've known for a long time so I had time to get used to this truth. You don't. I understand. But I need you to get over this, and I need you to get over it quickly." She leaned down and looked each of them in the eye, trying to be as firm as she could. "He needs support and lots of love. Unwavering love. I can't have you storming down his room and blaming him. But also you can't enable him anymore."

"Enable?!"Grace roared. Pulling her arm from Carrick's grasp, who was trying to calm her down. "How dare you talk to us like that?! We are his family! We know what he needs better than you!"

"Do you?" Anastasia raised an eyebrow, also standing up and facing Grace square in the eyes. "Your willingness to sweep his issues under the rug made him open for abuse. Elena could convince him to keep this ongoing rape secret for all these years because he already thought you didn't love him. She could convince him that tying and beating women down while he fucked them was the only way he could soothe his craving for touch because you refused to deal with his fear of being touched. How many of you tried to get to know him? I listened to Elliot whining about how Christian never comes to any of his invites." She turned to him, Kate's hand in his, two sets of bloodshot eyes watching her sadly. "Did you ever take a moment to think about the literal body pool in the clubs you invited him to? How was he supposed to come and enjoy himself with the possibility of a random limb brushing his scars?" She turned to Mia. "You keep saying that he doesn't open up to you, when was the last time you called him just to ask about his day, not asking for money?" She looked at Carrick. "Did you ever tell him how proud you are of his company? He built a freaking empire from zero. Does he know that you regret not supporting him? Not because he succeeded when you said he wouldn't, but because a father that has funds to do so, could've supported his son's only dream?" Her voice got louder towards the end, her hands shaking with fury.

"I'm not saying he was without faults. Trust me, I'm so mad at him that I want to choke him sometimes. But you didn't see the state I saw him today. I repeat, Taylor has the tape if you don't believe me. I'm sorry you had to find this out this way but there is no other way left. We all just need to get over this blaming game and focus on what to do. I already have a plan, we'll talk later. Please, go home and sit down a little bit. Don't call him, he needs to sleep for some time. Call me when you are calm and ready to be the family he needs. Good night." She breathed out and stormed out of the room without giving them a chance to insult her again. She had enough drama for one day. And she needed to feel Christian, and know he was safe. So she went to his room, locking the door. Picked an oversized Harvard t-shirt and gently laid down next to him. Letting her tears fall, remembering his broken voice and the way he looked when he told her that he was worried that her son would turn out like him. She gently brushed his long hair away from his face and kissed the hand she was holding in hers. Silly man, she wanted to tell him. I'm having a daughter.

AN: I want to reply to a few things pointed out by the reviews:

-Anastasia of course plans to work after she recovers from the pregnancy. But the pregnancy is delicate and she knows it's her first and only time being pregnant. Is it a crime to choose not to work when you can afford it? I don't see this period as being a gold digger etc. since everything is written down and offered by Christian himself.

-Elena is a child molester. This canon is not going to change in any of my stories. I'm sorry if it disappoints you but you can always stop reading instead of giving me orders on how to write my story.

-The way she told the Greys might seem out of character, it probably is. But I'm really mad at them for ignoring Christian's struggles on purpose. Just because he's earning good money doesn't mean that you are magically cured. I always felt like they could've done more.

Thank you for your reviews, they brighten my day up!