JENNIE
Lisa still kept her eyes on me. Even after we settled down from the rush of the sex, and after she'd left my body. She pulled off the condom, tied it and got rid of the evidence. But then she was right back, facing me again, her eyes moving over me, looking for my reaction to what we'd just done together.
"Are you all right?" she asked, brushing her thumb over my lips, tracing them ever so gently.
I smiled at her and answered in a slow voice, "Uh huh."
"I'm not even close to being finished with you yet." She dragged her hand down my neck, over a breast, across my hip to rest on my stomach. "That was—so amazing, I don't—I don't want this to be over." She left her hand splayed there and leaned forward to kiss me slowly and thoroughly, almost reverently. I could tell she was going to ask for something. "Are you—do take birth control, Jennie?"
"Yes," I whispered against her lips. I was right. She would be surprised at the reason but I wasn't sharing that information tonight.
"I want—I want to come inside you. I want to be here with nothing in between." She pressed her fingers in my slick folds and stroked back and forth. "Right here."
Her words were a surprise though. Most didn't want to take the chance. My body reacted to her touch without volition, unable to keep from flexing toward her fingers. A sound of pleasure came from my throat.
"My corporation—regular medicals for everyone—we have to be fit, including me. I can show you the report, Jennie, I'm clean I promise," she said, nuzzling at my neck and sliding long purposeful fingers over my tingling clit.
"But what if I'm not?" I panted.
She frowned and stilled her hand. "How long had it been since you've…been with someone?"
I shrugged. "I don't know, a long time."
She narrowed her eyes just a fraction. "Like a week-long time, or months-long time?"
A week is so not a long time. Why I answered her, I have no idea other than it was part and parcel of what you got with Lisa. She demanded answers, she asked pointed questions, she just had a way about her that was nearly impossible for me to ignore when she probed into places I didn't want her to go. "Months," was my answer and as detailed as she would get right now.
Her face relaxed. "So…is that a yes?" she rolled fully on top of me and trapped my hands intertwined with her, her knees splitting my legs wide open so she could settle in between them. "Because I want you again. I want in you again. I want to make you come with my cock so deep you'll never forget I was there. I want to come inside you, Jennie, and feel that with you." I could feel her huge right now; hard, hot, probing me, and ready to sink in all the way. And vulnerable as I was beneath her, in this moment I'd never felt more secure.
She kissed me deep, her tongue claiming me like before. It was a demonstration of what she wanted to do with her cock. I understood her very clearly most of the time. Lisa was not confusing in the slightest.
"I trust you, Lisa, and you won't get me pregnan—"
"Fuck…yeeees," she moaned on a thick slide of her bare cock against the still tingling walls of my sex. "Oh, baby, you feel so good. I'm—I am so fucking lost in you right now…"
And that was how it went with her the second time. She moved slower this round, more controlled like she wanted to savor the experience. It was no less satisfying either because Lisa made me come more times until I was nothing but a limp vessel for her driving flesh.
She felt bigger inside me, harder, her balls slapping my drenched slit with every slide, and then she froze, her spine curving on a beautiful downward penetration that connected us so deeply I felt she was a part of me in that instant.
Lisa choked out my name and stayed buried just like she'd said she wanted to, and then a few, small, short jerks to milk everything from her tip until she stopped completely, breathing heavy and still between my legs.
She sucked lightly at my neck as I stroked over her back, the smooth muscles hot and damp with sweat. The room smelled like sex and whatever her delicious cologne was. I really needed to find out the name of it. I felt uneven ridges under my fingertips. Lots of them. Like scars? she shifted off me and my hands fell away. I knew better than to ask.
But she didn't go far. Lisa moved to her side and propped herself up and stared at me some more. "Thank you for that," she whispered, tracing my face with one fingertip, "and for trusting me." She smiled at me again. "I love that you're here in my bed."
"How long has it been since someone was in this bed with you, Lisa?" If she could ask, then so could I.
She grinned, looking very smug. "It's been since…never, my darling. I don't bring women here."
"Last I checked I was a woman."
She raked suggestive eyes over my body before answering. "Definitely a woman." She met my eyes. "But still, I don't bring other women here."
"Oh…" I sat up against the headboard, pulling the sheet to my breasts. How in the hell is that not a lie? "That surprises me. I would think that you'd get more offers than you could possibly use."
She tugged the sheet down and revealed my breasts. "Don't destroy my view, please and the operative word is use, my sweet. I don't care for being used and women use men just as often as the other way 'round." She curled up beside me against the headboard and traced over a breast with one finger. "But I don't mind if you use me. You get a special pass."
I snorted and removed her hand. "You are far too perfect for your own good, Lisa—and you know it. That British charm will not get you a free pass with me on any day."
She made a sarcastic noise. "And you are one tough Yank. I thought I was going to have to pick you up and throw you in my car that night."
"It's fortunate you didn't or this nice shag we've just enjoyed? Never would've happened." I shook my head slowly with a smile.
She tickled me at the ribs and made me squeal. "So it was just a nice shag for you, huh?"
"Lisa!" I batted her hands away and scrambled to the edge of the bed.
She dragged me back and pinned me beneath her, a huge grin on her face. "Jennie," she drawled.
And then she kissed me. Just slow and soft and gentle, but it felt intimate and special. Lisa settled me against her side and adjusted our bodies under the sheets, her heavy arm draped over and securing me. I felt myself grow sleepy in the warm bed with her. I knew it was a bad idea. Rules are rules and I was breaking them.
"I shouldn't stay the night, Lisa; I really need to go…"
"No, no, no, I want you here with me," she insisted, speaking into my hair.
"But I shouldn't—"
"Shhhhhhh," she interrupted me like she had many times before and kissed my words away. She stroked over my head, trailing her fingers through my hair. I couldn't fight her. Not after tonight. The security felt too wonderful, my body too drained from all the orgasms, her hard strength too comfortable for me to battle her on the issue. So I slept.
…The terrors are real. They come in the night when I sleep. I try to fight them but they nearly always win. Everything is dark because my eyes are closed. But I hear the sounds. Cruel words about someone, disgusting words and names. And terrifying laughter… They think it's funny to degrade this person. My body feels heavy and weak. Still I hear them laughing and replaying all of the evil they have done…
I woke up screaming and alone in Lisa's bed. I figured out where I was when she came crashing into the bedroom, eyeballs wide. I started crying the minute I saw her. The sobs just got louder when she sat on the bed and grabbed me.
"It's okay—I've got you." She rocked me against her chest. Lisa was dressed and I was still naked. "You just had a bad dream, that's all."
"Where did you go?" I managed to ask in between gasps.
"I was just in my office—these fucking Olympics—I work at night lately..." she pressed her lips to my head. "I was right here the whole time until you fell asleep."
"You should have taken me home! I told you I wouldn't stay the night!" I struggled to get out of her arms.
"Christ, Jennie, what is the problem? It's two a.m. in the bloody morning. You are exhausted. Can't you just—why won't you sleep here?"
"I don't want it. It's too much! I can't do it, Lisa!" I pushed against her chest.
"Jesus Christ! You let me bring you to my house and fuck you wildly but you won't sleep in my bed for a few hours?" she brought her face down to mine. "Talk. Why are you scared here with me?"
She looked hurt and sounded more than a little offended. And I felt like a cruel bitch on top of being an emotional, fucked-up mess. She also looked beautiful in her faded jeans and soft grey t-shirt. Her hair was all mussed, but she looked as devastatingly gorgeous as usual, even more so because I was seeing the intimate Lisa, the one she did not show in public.
I started crying again and telling her I was sorry. I really meant it too. I was sorry that parts of me were damaged and broken but it didn't change the facts either.
"I'm not scared with you. It's so complicated, Lisa. I'm—I am sorry!" I scrubbed at my face.
"Shhhhhhh…there's nothing to be sorry for. You just had a bad dream." Lisa reached for a box of tissue beside the bed and handed it to me. "Do you want to talk about it?"
"No," I managed to sputter through three tissues.
"That's fine, Jennie. When you feel comfortable you can if you want to." Her hand rubbing circles on my back felt wonderful, I just didn't want to close my eyes again in case I fell back to sleep. She pulled me down on the mattress with her. "Let me hold you for a while?"
I nodded.
"I'll be right here until you fall asleep and if you wake and you don't see me, I'm just across the main room in my office. The light will be on. I would never leave you alone in my house. You're totally safe here with me. Security guy, remember?"
I grabbed more tissues and blew my nose; utterly wreaked and mortified at the situation. I did my best to bluff my way out of it though, and I knew what I was going to do. I gave a soft laugh at her joke and let her tuck me back into her bed. I faced her chest and breathed in the scent I absolutely loved and tried to remember how beautiful it was. I focused on the feel of Lisa holding me safe, and the warmth of her big body. I tried to capture it all in my head, because I would not get this experience again.
I pretended to fall sleep.
I evened my breathing and faked it. And after a while I felt her slide off the bed and slip out of the room. I even heard the sound of her bare feet padding across the wooden floor. I watched the clock and gave it another five minutes before I got up.
I walked out into Lisa's living room buck-ass naked and scooped up my clothes. I removed her deep purple tie from the pile and smoothed it before draping it over the arm of her sofa, folded in half. I wished I could take it with me as a remembrance.
I got myself dressed quickly in front of the huge glass window and held my shoes in my hand rather than put them on my feet. I picked up my duffel and headed for the door. I could feel her semen wet between my legs, draining out, and the thought made me want to weep. Everything felt wrong now. I had ruined it.
Once I was out the front door, I ran for the elevator and pushed the call button. I shoved my shoes on my feet and dug around in my bag for a brush. I dragged that brush through my I've-just-been-fucking hair in brutal sweeps. The poor tangled mess didn't stand a chance but it was better than nothing. The lift arrived and I hopped on, stowing my brush and checking my wallet for cab fare as I descended.
When I emerged into the lobby the doorman greeted me. "May I assist you, madam?"
"Err…yes, Claude? I need to get home. Can you help me hire a cab?" I sounded desperate even to my ears. No telling what Claude might be thinking.
He did not show the slightest reaction though as he picked up a phone. "Ahhh, there we have one coming in now." Setting down the phone, Claude came around from behind his desk and held the lobby door open for me. He helped me to the cab and shut me in. I thanked him, gave the driver my address and looked out the window.
The view into the elegant lobby was clear at night so I could see when Lisa burst out of the elevators and spoke to Claude. She ran outside but my cab was already in motion. She threw up her arms in frustration and rolled her head back. I could see her feet were still bare. I could see the look of confusion and utter despair on her face when our eyes met—me inside the car and her on the street. I could see Lisa. And it was probably the last time I ever would.