- Why mommy… Nathan buried his face against his mother's chest, clinging to her, sobbing. Dad was coming to live with us.
At the words, and at her son's cries, Eames reached out and stroked her son's ebony curls with affection, Eames' heart breaking into a thousand pieces.
With tears in her eyes, Eames couldn't look down on her son, at the risk of crying too, and letting her despair overwhelm her.
She looked one last time, through the window of the suv's rear passenger door, at New York as it flashed before her eyes.
The city that had made her sad, but also happy.
It was here that she'd met Goren, got to know him, and loved him for what he really was.
A man of integrity and profound kindness.
A man who had kept her heart beating, when she'd thought he was dead.
But now it was all over.
And it wasn't fair.
Just when Goren had made the decision to come and live with her and Nathan, and the three of them were finally going to be a family, the FBI came for her and her son, making her and her son lose all their illusions at once.
As if she and her son didn't have the right to happiness and a normal life.
Eames had been so happy during her days with Goren.
She'd finally felt loved, pampered and desired, like a woman in her own right, and so important to Goren that he'd finally decided to come and live with them.
Thinking that maybe between her and Goren, it would be more than a relationship based on sex, or friendship, but on real strong feelings.
That's what she'd felt.
What Eames had thought she read in Goren's brown eyes.
Goren, who was usually this tortured, insecure man, had finally decided to come and live with them.
But worst of all, she hadn't even been able to say goodbye.
Not even to tell him how she felt in her heart.
Nor even know if Goren was returning her feelings.
Eames had only been able to leave him a very short letter, in which she told him she was sorry for what had happened, but also how she felt about him.
But would he understand her feelings and regrets.
In addition, a letter wasn't at all the same as saying it out loud.
But there was no point in going over it again.
She'd lost Goren, and she'd never see him again.
Now it was all over, and nothing would ever be the same again.
She and Nathan would change their lives again...
A new name...
And they would have to rebuild everything again.
Just as she'd had to do back then, when she'd had to say goodbye to Goren and change her identity.
But in spite of everything, she had to be grateful, for she had been able to live a few happy days with Goren, when normally she would never have seen him again.
But despite everything, she was bitter.
In their new lives, her son's and hers, Goren wouldn't be there.
By their side, there would be no man she had fallen deeply in love with, no father the child who made her son the happiest, just by his presence.
Nathan wanted his father close to him so much.
And Eames knew this would never be possible again.
Not only would her son be unhappy without his father, but she would always have that vacant place in her heart, without Goren near her, and so that place would only be filled by him.
- Mommy...
At her name, Eames snapped out of her thoughts and took courage to look at her son, and at the sight of the immense sadness on his face, her heart sank.
My God...
Nathan was so unhappy.
His face was bathed in tears.
Eames brought his little fingers to his son's tears and wiped them away gently.
My God, Nathan looked so much like his father.
Nathan looked so much like his father.
Despite the different color of their eyes, that look he was giving her at this moment was the same as his father's. And that was very painful.
And that was painful.
That wonderful little boy Goren had given her.
From that night she could never forget.
How could she ever thank him, when she would never see him again.
No, it really wasn't fair.
But she had to try to take it in her stride, and above all, support her son as best she could.
- One day... She slipped her little fingers to his cheek, brushed against him. Maybe you'll understand.
But even as he spoke, Eames knew that Nathan couldn't understand what was going on.
He was still too young.
And even when he was older, maybe he wouldn't understand.
And how could he.
He'd lived for nine years without his father, and when he finally started to have his father around, his right to be with him was taken away.
It could be difficult for a child to understand this kind of thing.
In addition, Goren had finally fulfilled his son's wish to come and live with them.
And just when they were about to have a family life, like any normal family, they were torn away from Goren, and from the life they had longed for.
Good God...
How were they going to manage without Goren...
Gently, she put her hand to her son's ebony curls, lowered his head to her chest, wrapped her arms around his waist and held him tightly.
- I'm so sorry, Nathan.
His mom was sorry...
And she told him he'd understand later.
But Nathan had a hard time understanding, and accepting this decision.
He knew that his mother wasn't to blame for the situation, and he could see that despite being the strong one, his mom was just as sad as he was.
And how could she not be.
The FBI had just ruined their lives.
And not only theirs, but his father's too.
Nathan's heart sank as he thought of his father.
His poor dad...
He was about to discover an empty apartment, without his mom, and without him.
And the FBI hadn't even allowed them to say goodbye.
How would his father react.
Was he going to be as sad and confused as he and his mom.
- Poor little Dad.
At his son's words, Eames' heart sank.
Poor little daddy...
So that's what Nathan affectionately called Goren.
His little daddy.
But she could hear from his words that Nathan was also worried about his father.
And she understood him.
Nathan was right.
Eames imagined Goren's reaction to discovering the apartment empty and without them.
Not only had they left, without the slightest explanation, but his son, whom he barely knew, and above all, as Eames knew, whom he adored more than anything, had been taken away from him.
And Eames knew that it would hurt Goren deeply to lose his son.
What's more, Eames was more than tired of having to hide.
Of having to change her life, and pretend to be someone else.
So if it was hard for her, how was it going to be for her son?
And Eames knew it wouldn't be a life for her son.
Having to move in a hurry, without any explanation.
To change his name and his life.
And above all, not being able to settle down anywhere permanently.
But Eames knew that for her son's safety, and her own, they couldn't do otherwise.
But she cursed the situation.
And above all, this way of leaving like thieves, without at least, as she'd been able to the last time, saying goodbye to Goren.
And above all, tell him what was in her heart.
Eames rested her chin on her son's little ebony head.
Oh, Bobby.
Please forgive me.