As they finished breakfast the playful Ed reappeared, the Ed who wanted to go down to the beach and splash around in the water like a child discovering the ocean for the first time. Stede had to jog to keep up with Ed, who raced along as fast as his bad knee would let him, laughing as he threw his shoes aside and jumped into the waves without the benefit of taking off his clothes first and got soaked through and through, shaking the salt water out of his hair like a dog. Carrying their shoes and following along the shore as the ocean lapped at his ankles, Stede watched as Ed let wave after wave crash over him, one force of nature taking on another. It was so good to see Ed happy. As his heart swelled at the sight, Stede continued to follow from the shore.
"Stede!" Ed bellowed. "Get over here, you bloody coward!"
"I'm fine!" Stede shouted in reply.
"Fucking hell, just get over here!"
"One of us has to be a responsible adult," the blond man said, kicking at the water.
Throwing out his arms, Ed yelled, "Responsible for what, the fish? The turtles? The birds? We're the only two people here!"
"That doesn't mean both of us have to be a soggy mess."
"You're just soggy in the brain, mate. You became a bloody fucking pirate because being a responsible adult bored you to death and now you're saying the ocean isn't good enough for you anymore?" Ed trudged to the shoreline before breaking out into a run and tackled Stede into the sand. Stede was suddenly on his back with barely time to let out an "Oof!" before staring up at Ed hovering over him, his wet clothes clinging to of his warm body. "Maybe it is better if you stay on dry land. Lord knows you were an awful pirate."
"Was I really that bad?" Stede asked, sinking back as he realized there was no way he wasn't going to walk back home without being dripping wet too. Ed crawled on top of him, covering his body like a second skin. Stede could feel the other man's heartbeat pounding against his chest.
"Bloody terrible, mate. But you're still alive so you did something right, though I'll be damned if I know what that something is." Running his thumb along Stede's temple, Ed continued, "Can't have you going out there and getting stabbed again, can we?"
"Not bloody likely now." Stede replied, squirming underneath him. "Ed, I'm getting soaked here!"
"Too bad. That's what happens when you get near the water. Do you complain about getting wet while bathing as well?"
"I don't bathe with my clothes on."
"That's usually how it goes."
"You're impossible!" Stede laughed, playfully slapping at his lover's shoulders. "Now I'm getting sand everywhere!"
"Just like every other day we come down here. Am I supposed to believe that's bothering you now?"
"It does….sort of. You wear those fine things well, Ed, but that doesn't mean you have to jump into the bloody ocean with them on and then climb all over me afterwards." Indeed Ed's wardrobe had been upgraded to match Stede's. Well, almost. The dark haired man preferred fewer ruffles and lace. The leather clothes were packed away, not being compatible with the muggy climate they had settled in.
With a grunt Ed turned over and pulled Stede on top of him. "Are you and your clothes better now?"
"Much." Threading his fingers through Ed's drenched hair, Stede pointed out, "You're quite the terrible pirate now, you know."
"Am I?" Ed asked, sounding amused.
"You, the most notorious pirate in the whole world, is now frolicking his days away on an island in the middle of who knows where. Why aren't you aren't there plundering a ship? You spend all day eating all the bread and marmalade, drinking all the wine, asking about all the books I read, getting all dressed up in clothes that aren't black. If I didn't know any better, Edward Teach, I'd say you're getting spoiled."
Ed hesitated for half a second, his brown eyes blinking as the faintest hint of surprise rippled across his face like a pond having a pebble thrown into it, but that was all it took. Stede knew. He knew there was a nagging doubt in the back of Ed's mind that told him he wasn't worthy of having nice things. Not long ago Stede bought a silk scarf as a gift and had watched as Ed handled it like a baby animal, petting the soft fabric carefully like it would jump up and run away if he scared it.
"I'd rather be here," Ed said quietly, then planted a quick kiss on Stede's mouth.
"Who will steal all the gold and diamonds now?"
"Let the other pirates kill each other for it. That's not for me now…or you."
"I never thought the greatest pirate to ever live would turn down treasure," Stede teased.
Grinning lasciviously, Ed replied, "Not all treasure is gold and diamonds, love", and crashed his mouth against Stede's, his lover, his best friend, the man who had become his whole world, the man who made him feel desired for the first time in his life.
Stede returned the kiss and then some, savoring all the tastes, textures and scents that were Ed. It was good, it was right, it was what Stede had wanted so much to have with Mary but couldn't, not that it was any of her fault. Ed was an irresistible force, intoxicating as the finest wine, pulling him like the tides were pulled to the beach, allowing him to indulge in an intimacy he didn't know was possible. A roaring pounded Stede's ears but he couldn't tell if it was in his head or being shouted from the waves.
Breaking the kiss, Ed gasped, "I really like it here."
"On the beach?" Stede puzzled.
"No, not that. I mean here, this island. I like it here." He looked away, fixing his gaze at the foamy waves and seagulls drifting on the salty breeze. "I haven't stayed on land this long since I was a boy. I haven't stayed anywhere for this long since then. It feels strange to not be on a ship right now."
"You don't miss being free on the open water, Ed?"
"People like me don't spend most of their lives on the open water for a holiday, Stede. It was about survival, not freedom. I was trying to live and see another sunrise."
"That's quite eloquent of you." It was an observation, not an insult, and the other man took it as such. Stede noted to himself-not for the first time-that more than a few of Ed's insecurities came from not realizing he was so much more intelligent than he would ever give himself credit for.
Ed played with the frilly collar of Stede's shirt, then explained, "There were a lot of times when my crew and I didn't see another ship or land for days and days on end. Nothing we could do but keep sailing. Until then we spent most of the time sitting on our asses and hoping something would happen to relieve the endless boredom. It gave me a lot of time to think."
"I can imagine," Stede looked at the man lying beneath him and brushed a stray lock of silver hair from his brow. "But you're home now, Ed."
"Home," Ed puzzled, as if hearing the word for the first time. "I actually have a home now. It's like a dream, I still can't believe it. I've spent the last twenty years trying to keep my home constantly on the move and not run it aground."
"No lighthouses to guide you, Ed?
"Ships are supposed to avoid lighthouses, remember?"
Yes, I remember.
You're still afraid, aren't you, Ed?
You're still that you're going to blink your eyes and I'll be gone.
I'll always be here for you, Ed. I'll always be your light guiding you to shore.
"We're not ships, Ed," Stede reached out and turned the other man around until they were face to face. "You know what it's like to feel lost at sea for your whole life. So do I. You have always been an outsider and now you've finally found a place where you belong. But you're still afraid of going off course. You think you're going to be smashed to pieces against the rocks again, but I'm not going to allow that to happen. You've been searching for sturdy ground your entire life and now you've finally found it. But if you ever feel like you're getting lost again, going off course again, and need to find the shore….just look for the lighthouse."
"Jesus, Stede," Ed muttered, bringing their foreheads to touch. "I needed to hear that."
With a soft sigh, Stede said, "Me too."
Ed pulled the blond man into a tight embrace, encircling his waist with sturdy arms etched with his history. "God, I love you."
"I love you, too."
Squeezing harder, Ed said, "I love you more."
"Ed, I need to breathe..."
With a beaming smile that rivaled the sun, Ed released the iron grip on his lover and declared, "I finally have a home that isn't a pile of wood floating on the bloody ocean!" Standing up, he continued, "This is perfect." He reached out a hand to Stede and helped him up, then screamed at the seagulls, "I love this man! Do you hear me? I love this man!"
Stede laughed. "Ed, what's gotten into you?"
"Nothing! I'm fucking fantastic!" he exclaimed, laughing and spinning Stede around in circles in another crushing embrace. "I want all the birds, all the sharks, all the people alive in the fucking world to hear me!"
They lingered on the beach for another hour, chasing each other through the surf and rolling around like idiots in the sand. Ed didn't feel the need to race back home, instead he matched Stede's leisurely pace, floating down from his high from the good time on the beach, still giddy with excitement. Stede couldn't help but stare at the beautiful man beside him, jewels of sea water glittering in the hollow of his throat.
They crossed the threshold of the front entrance, the cool shade welcome in the rising heat of the afternoon. From the corner of his eye he saw the dark haired man walk over to him. Ed wasn't much taller, but today he loomed over Stede like he was a giant. The wet shirt had fallen open, revealing the eagle tattoo and light dusting of chest hair.
"Is something wrong?" Stede asked, discreetly searching Ed's face for any sign of worry and finding only kind brown eyes and a faint smile.
"Nothing at all," Ed replied quietly, then caressed Stede's face with his coarse hands. Stede leaned into Edward's touch, noting how pleased the other man looked with the small gesture. Rocking forward, Ed captured Stede's mouth with his, slipping in his tongue, pulling the blond man into an embrace, then burying his face into the crook of Stede's neck.
Stede drank it all in, reveling in the attention Ed is showering on him. Him. Their mouths crashed together again, Stede felt his body rising to meet Ed's kiss, almost levitating, the black cravat loose and flittering against Ed's heart, in time to their bodies rocking together. Two dizzying wrecks who had not business fitting together so well to complete the puzzle.
"Tell me you love me," Ed murmured against Stede's pale skin.
"I love you," Stede said, weaving the ends of the slender black piece of silk through his fingers, a simple piece of fabric tying them together, heart and soul.
"Again. Say it again," A hint of aggressiveness glinted across the edge of his demand as the pads of his fingers brushed the relief of scar tissue across Stede's belly, his hands seeking the comforting contact of skin. Hunger clouded Ed's gaze, a hunger in him that could never be satisfied with food or drink, hunger for contact, a connection, away from the loneliness that had been chasing him across the sea for nearly all his life.
"I love you, Edward Teach."
"You'll always be here...with me."
Insecurities and neediness bubbled to the surface, as they always did whenever Ed felt threatened. Whether the threat was real or not didn't matter. Ed wanted reassurance and that's what he was going to get.
"Ed, you know I won't–"
"Say it. Just say it." Ed's mouth spoke the words while his eyes pleaded silently. "Don't make me beg."
"I'd never make you do that," Stede comforted. "I'll always be here with you."
"I don't deserve you."
Throwing his arms aound Ed's neck, Stede said, "I hardly deserve you, either; but here we are. You're mine, Edward Teach, all mine."
"Stede…God, Stede…," Ed gasped as the cravat was pulled from his neck and Stede began nipping and biting at the exposed skin.
Ed spoke up again. "Kiss me."
Stede obliged, capturing the other man's mouth with his, tightening his embrance around the other man's neck. His mind flickered back to that night on the beach. What makes Ed happy is...you. How that kiss had been so awkward, shy, unsure, the complete opposite of how intense and raw they could be with each other now. How that small spark gradually grew into a raging inferno that blazed in both of them.
"Now kiss me like you mean it, love," Ed challenged, and Stede could feel the shameless bastard's mouth spread into a grin.
"My beautiful Ed," Stede whispered, finding Ed's mouth again, the sting of the rough beard against his face and neck, swallowing every bit of hurt and frustration and passion and pain Ed had to give. Stede's hands pushed away folds of the shirt, vaguely annoyed by how much fabric was getting in his way, a constellation of scars beneath his palms. Trails of wet kisses dotted the tendons in Ed's neck, the smooth, solid muscles of his chest as it rapidly rose and fell, the eagle tattoo taking flight. An intensity in himself and Ed that he never dreamed could be real, not even in the most intimate moments of his marriage, which was more of a duty to follow through with than an act of desire. This was about enjoying the experience and not just getting everything over with.
Ed smiled again, more than a bit elated with Stede's words which were so much better than any kiss, and just a touch smug. He wrapped his arms around Stede, his steely gaze freezing his lover in place. It was always exhilarating when Ed was dominant, took control, knew how to give Stede just what he needed. All Stede could do was allow himself to be taken apart and love every second of it.
Later that afternoon, they sat at the table in their respective robes, green for Stede and navy blue for Ed, shared some more oranges and making plans to go to town for more wine and see if anyone had any books for sale (Stede was still smarting over the loss of his library) and how exactly were they going to the house in an inn, how much they should charge for a room, how to decorate, what should the inn be called (Ed was particular about the name Jeff's Inn. When asked why he was so fixated on the name Jeff, the only explaination he could give was that he thought Jeff sounded like a name that put people at ease). Ordinary things. Unexciting things. Everday things that Ed was happy to go back and forth about. Stede got up and was asking Ed if he wanted some water or tea when he was interrupted by the crash of breaking glass. He whipped around to see Ed with his hair now hanging in his eyes as if he was wearing a dark veil and holding out the jagged stem of a broken wine glass like a dagger.
"Choose your next words carefully, dog," Ed growled like a feral animal. "They may be your last."
"Ed!" Stede gasped. "What–"
"No, not Ed." His eyes were now black, soulless. Any trace of warmth in them had been thrown away, replaced by an animalistic glint, like a predator cornering its next meal. Stede felt his stomach plunge to the floor, then crash through it. "You may call me The Kraken."
"Oh, God…oh no…," the blond man gulped. The monster that haunted Ed's past was now here, his grip coiled around the former pirate, smothering him.
"The Kraken. Call me The Kraken!" the monster demanded. "Being called God is even beyond my conceit." He leaned in closer and snarled, "What do you think you're doing, hmmm?"
"I–", "Stede stammered, hot beads of sweat dripping down his face, stinging his eyes, as he tried to focus on the monster who had stolen the man he loved and replaced him with the beast invading their quiet sanctuary. "I don't know what you mean."
"Throwing your empty promises of a happy home at Blackbeard's feet. As if that's what he wants or needs."
"He's not Blackbeard anymore," Stede clarified. "He's not a pirate anymore, and this home has been happy since we set foot in it."
"We'll see about that," the Kraken grumbled in his low, gravelly voice. "Your promises are still empty all the same."
"Those promises aren't empty. I meant every word."
"LIAR!" The monster dragged Stede to the wall and slammed him against it. "You're as bad a liar as you were a pirate. Pathetic. You ruined the greatest pirate in the world. You should have done us all a favor and stayed gone."
"No, I–"
The Kraken was so close a whisper could not pass between them, his hot breath panted against Stede's collar. "Why didn't you stay away? Why are you here?"
The first hot tears fell from Stede's eyes as he answered, "Because I love Ed." He made sure to enunciate every word clearly, leaving no room for any of them to be mistaken. "Don't you ever say otherwise."
"Is that so?" the Kraken mocked, smashing the remains of the glass into the wall, the reverberation bouncing against the walls and echoing in Stede's ears. "Is that what you told yourself when you left him waiting for you at the dock? You left him sitting there like a goddamn fool, waiting all night and realizing the person who was supposed to love him had deserted him. So cruel. In fact, that was beyond cruel." Stede flinched, unable to deny the accusation. Relishing in the other man's anguish, the Kraken continued, "You have no idea what that did to him. No idea at all. "
"I apologized a thousand times, a million times, and he forgave me. I love him and he loves me! He's told me himself who knows how many times!" Stede insisted through the tears. "He told me everything about that night. I explained why I didn't show up. We were up all night talking through it."
"Oh, I know. That was such a mistake." The Kraken's hand shot up to Stede's throat. "He may forgive you but I don't...and I never will."
Memories flashed like a lightning flash in Stede's mind: the bullying, the taunts, the threats, being cornered and not able to fight back. Not again. Not this time. His frustration was no longer able to be contained. He replied in kind, hand to the Kraken's throat and spun him around to the wall. Caught off guard, the Kraken's malicious face twisted into ferocious sneer.
"Unhand us. Now." Stede demanded, his words ice.
"Stede?" A familiar voice queried. The frightening manifestation vanished, the benevolent man returned. Ed's scared eyes darted around in confusion. "What's happening?"
"Ed!" Stede tore his hand away from his friend's neck and grabbed his face, turning it until their eyes met. "Tell me you're okay."
"What the hell is going on? I was sitting at the table….and now…" His breathing turned quick, shallow; his face flushed scarlet. "You're crying! Oh, my God…I hurt you!"
"No, of course not. Calm down, just calm down." He guided the shaken man to a chair, then poured a glass of brandy and shoved it under Ed's nose. "Here, drink this."
Without hesitation, Ed snatched the glass and downed the liquid in one gulp. Stede poured another and told him to slow down before handing over the glass again. Ed made quick work of it and with a still shaking hand placed it aside.
The snatches of breath slowed down as Stede knelt beside him. Tucking the other man's still sodden hair behind his ear, Stede said, "It's going to be okay, Ed."
"It's not," Ed's agonized voice replied. "I hurt you! I just want to curl up into a ball and die."
Tilting Ed's face up, Stede reassured him, "I'm fine. Really."
"We had our hands around each other's throats! That is anything but fine!"
"That wasn't you, Ed."
"What?" the dark haired man blinked, baffled.
"It wasn't you. I mean...it was you but it wasn't. You were a completely different person. You said you were–"
"The Kraken."
"Yes, The Kraken."
There was a short pause as Stede's words sank in, then a stuttering of "No, no, no, no!" His face collapsed into an ashen mound of despair. The dark haired man choked an anguished groan and muttered, " Oh, god…it's him. He's come back."
"Yes." The hairs on the back of Stede's neck prickled as the man he loved was once again reduced to a pile of misery. "You remember sitting at the table. Do you remember anything after that?"
"I…he…," Ed sputtered. "He was yelling at you. He broke the glass and started yelling at you. I could see what he was doing and hear him but I couldn't stop him. All I could do was just watch." Tears streamed down his face, into his mouth, the salty taste coating his tongue. "Stede, I'm so sorry…"
"You have nothing to apologize for," Stede reassured him. "He kept bringing up the night I didn't show up at the dock. I suppose in some bizarre way The Kraken thinks he's protecting you."
"Protecting me from what?" Ed questioned stonily. "I had to learn to protect myself when I was still a child. Nobody else would."
"He's protecting you from me."
"From you? What…," Ed fumbled for words.
"From being hurt," Stede explained. "From having your heart broken again."
Ed shook his head. "I was hurt, yes, but I got over it. You see that clear as day. Why can't he see that?"
"He also thinks I'm the one who's holding you back from being the great Blackbeard."
Ed choked on a half-sob, half-cackle and absently wiped his tear-streaked face with the sleeve of his robe. "Blackbeard was on his way out long before I even met you. If you did anything you just sped up his inevitable demise. The past is the past, Stede. I just want to move forward. I just want to be with you. But he's not going to let us–"
"Wrong!" Stede declared loudly, his voice bouncing against the walls. "So help me, Ed, nothing is coming between us now, least of all him."
"He's not going to stop."
"Ed, you're stronger than him. We're stronger than him. We haven't come this far together just to let him tear us apart in a day, have we?"
"No. No, of course not."
"You're a survivor, Ed. You've weathered the worst of storms, you can weather this one too. And you're not weathering this one alone."
"Thank you," Ed said softly, trying to hold back the tremble in his words.
"We're in this together."
"Together," Ed repeated. "I wouldn't have it any other way."
"Neither would I." Stede let out a sigh and glanced at the shards of broken glass. "Let's get this mess cleaned up."
They swept up the remains of the wine glass, then Stede restored himself and Ed into a cleaned-up state. He rinsed Ed's hair, then combed through the thick, tangled nest until it was smooth and straight, fixing it into a loose braid.
Stede unwrapped the black cravat from the tanned neck, then rewound it in a neat and loose bow, hanging down among the faded ink and pale scars. Tension still knotted Ed's every muscle; the fraying edges of his composure ready to come apart. "What shall we do now?" Stede kept his own voice calm, putting Ed at ease.
"Read?" Ed's voice was low and meek, like a child's.
"If you wish," Stede agreed, as if he could possibly turn down the request, already stepping to the bookcase. Much his delight he had found some books at Spanish Jackie's, probably left behind by various traveler's passing through. "What would you like to hear?"
"Anything is fine."
They settled on the sofa with Don Quixote, Ed coiled at Stede's side, clinging too tightly onto his arm, to his life raft, trying to keep his head above water. Gradually his grip relaxed, the tension bled away. Ed began to speak up, asking Stede to explain a passage or the meaning of unfamiliar words. Stede happily obliged, patiently clarifying everything until Ed was satisfied, though he could noticed a ghost of a scowl on Ed's face at being frustrated for not being able to understand it better. Stede read until he noticed the shadows lengthening across the floor, then prepared a fresh stew, which was one of Ed's favorites. A bottle of wine was shared, both drinking heartily, washing away the taste of the events from earlier.