THE MANDALORIAN AND THE JEDI - II.3
ACT 3. END GAME. - 1
PART 3.1. Five Years Later. - 1
Sabine walked along the hallway at a brisk pace, helmet held by her side, a strong feeling of trepidation nipping at her very heels as she approached the door. She pushed it open, revealing a large, circular table filled with Lothal's most senior dignitaries. The loud din of panicked arguing filled the room which, paired with the image of these people looking like a confused rabble, only made their situation even more grim when juxtaposed against the beautiful vistas of Lothal in the distance. Presiding over the meeting was Governor Ryder Azadi - or at least he was trying to, anyway - with Jai Kell on his right, who was eyeing the crowd nervously as he took down notes.
"As I said, the Alliance has already sent word that they are sending a task force as quickly as possible", the governor said with a barely-hidden hint of exasperation in his voice.
"My contacts in the core worlds have indicated that this force they're sending hasn't even been assigned a capital ship", one of the men in the room, the wealthy minister of the agricultural department of Lothal's planetary government, protested in disgust. "Is Lothal sector is so low on their list of priorities that they can't even muster a proper fleet to defend us?"
"Again, this is an unexpected development. Senior command has assured me that they are sending all available units - I'm not exactly sure why they haven't sent more-", at this the governor sighed in resignation, "But we have to set all of this aside now. Every minute we spend here discussing points we have no control over whatsoever, is a minute not spent on ensuring that our defenses will hold!" Ryder emphasized that last world with a growl, having reached the end of his patience at the pointless bickering that the conference had devolved into. The room had become silent because of his outburst - he rarely lost composure, back even when he led a rebel cell on Lothal during the darkest days of Imperial occupation. He'd hoped to galvanize support and was eager to get on to the business of preparing for the inevitable arrival to the planet's orbit of the strike force that the Empire had sent their way - instead, his efforts are being hampered by these bureaucrats. It's tempting, especially at times like these, to envy the enemy its system of government, where the will of one man determined all - but he knew, intimately, the price that such a system could extract from the people put under its yoke. "I'd still choose this over any measure of that", he thought to himself. "But only just", as he shot a sharp look at the people in the room.
In truth, he understood them. He'd been in their shoes before, having decided to bow out of the good fight, unwilling to risk any more of what little he had left of his old life before the Empire - but that fateful chance meeting with the Spectres made sure which path he chose to tread in the end. The right one. He sighed as fond memories came back to him.
"Our situation is grim, I know", he continued. "But we have to have faith. General Syndulla is on her way even as we speak at the head of the Alliance task force - I assure you that all efforts are being made to ensure that the planetary defences of Lothal will hold."
The minister swallowed nervously as the governor held his gaze, spending several tense moments to consider what he was going to say. "I- We shouldn't have... We shouldn't have rebelled against the Empire", he said weakly, surprising even himself.
Sabine saw Azadi scan the rest of the room, but all of the other faces were unmoving, their eyes merely trained to the ground - as if they'd all suddenly resigned to their fates. She could have burned a hole right through the minister's skull with her stare.
"Lieutenant Wren", Azadi called to her calmly. "Will you have the good minister escorted to the garrison for questioning?"
Sabine nodded to one of the guards, who proceeded to politely - though sternly - lead the trembling man out of the conference room.
"I take it that the matter is settled then", the governor continued with a softer tone in his voice. "I know you're afraid", he addressed the room as the dignitaries stood up to leave. "We all are", he said, a quiet determination now coloring his voice. "But we need to stick together if we're going to get through this."
"With respect, governor, I don't think that this is the best course of action", Sabine suddenly interjected, surprising even the parties most opposed to Azadi's direction that were still in the room.
"Sabine", he said, wringing his hands and barely containing his emotion. "We've talked about this. Planetary defense forces are called that for a reason", he followed sternly.
"That kriffer was right about one thing", she continued defiantly. "What Hera's been given isn't enough to turn back the Imperial strike force. We have to send her all the help we can", she said as she met Ryders gaze, her eyes burning. His eyes were anything but, indecision making the lines on his face crease.
A tense minute followed, neither of them speaking, as the dignitaries looked on to see where the wind will blow. Finally, the governor spoke. "My first responsibility is to protect the people of Lothal", he said. "Prepare the defenses - and that is an order, Sabine. I'm sorry", he added quietly.
At that, she suddenly exploded with exasperation. "We don't stand a chance if you let them be cut to pieces, Ryder!", she yelled at him, as silence continued to fill the conference room. Getting no reaction from the governor, she looked around the room - but all she saw was fear. You're crazy, was what she felt they wanted to say, but dared not to. She turned around and stormed out of the building.
She grunted as she hauled the last of the crates filled with explosives that she'd been loading onto the Gauntlet. It had been a few hours since she left the meeting in disgust, feeling a mixture of disappointment, anger, and helplessness. "This is what it was all for, apparently", she thought to herself as she looked up at the old comms tower. "Kriffin' idiots", she mouthed as she began to run the diagnostics of the ship before setting off.
She shot a sharp glance towards the red T-6 shuttle sitting behind the tower. "Some good she's been", she said bitterly.
Just then, she noticed the glint of metal reflecting sunlight coming from the direction of Capital City. Several objects were speeding in her direction. "An armored transport, four speeders... and Ryder's", she said to herself after she put on her helmet and put down her scanner. She hurriedly sat on the pilot's seat, but as she was strapping herself onto it, she relented. "Damn it", she said out loud as she stood, not finding the will to bail on her patron for the past five years. She couldn't leave like this; she ought to at least hear him out. She checked her blaster pistols and put them on stun - making sure to touch the hilt of the green-bladed lightsaber hanging on her belt for luck - then alighted from her vessel just as the convoy arrived in front of the Gauntlet.
"I was worried that you might fly off", Ryder said, getting out of his transport with Jai close behind.
"Yeah?", she said irritably, before continuing. "Well, if you're here to stop me", she said as she glanced at the small platoon of heavily-armed soldiers getting out of the armored transport. "Even that much won't be enough", she bluffed, a hint of doubt escaping from under her helmet.
After a few tense moments, the governor finally took a step forward. "I'm sorry. It should have been my role to lead", he began, nodding at Sabine. "What I did instead, was cower. Thank you for reminding me", he said with a look of renewed determination in his eyes. "I'm counting on you to lead a contingent of the Lothalite planetary defence force to assist General Syndulla", he finally said after a pause, before continuing with a warm note in his voice. "I'm putting the fate of this planet in your capable hands."
Stunned, she stood silent for a couple of seconds. Ryder laughed. "I'm saying you've convinced me, Sabine", as he laid his hand on her shoulder. "I shouldn't have doubted your advice."
She removed her helmet so that he could look the governor straight in his eyes, smiled, and nodded in appreciation for what he just did. "Yes, governor", she said, now standing at attention. "How many will I be getting?", she asked, a fire of quiet resolve burning in her eyes.
"All of them", he answered with a grin.
"General Syndulla!", a voice rang in the bridge of the Vigilance, the panic in it barely contained. "We've lost another light cruiser!"
"Concentrate all our vessels' power on their forward shields!", Hera yelled back. "We could have used a few more starfighters and bombers", she thought as she cursed under her breath. A formidable fleet, consisting of several Imperial Light Cruisers, two Carriers, and an Imperial Star Destroyer - not to mention an absolute hornet's nest's worth of TIEs, was arrayed before her, as she looked around to see her own meager, hastily-cobbled-together force of frigates and light cruisers buckling under a hail of fire. As she prepared mentally for the inevitable, she turned her thoughts towards home. "Jacen", she mouthed, before steeling her resolve.
"We need to concentrate fire on them one by one instead of piecemeal, if we're going to stand a chance", she ordered hastily to her crew, trying to modulate her voice to calm them and give them the focus they need for the task at hand. "Let's start with that Light Cruiser, yes", as one of her men pointed, "There. It's overextended itself from the fleet and doesn't have as much cover. Order all bombers to attack that ship!"
"Yes ma'am!", the bridge yelled in unison.
"This is as good an end as any, I guess", she thought to herself grimly. Just then, a voice crackled on her wristcomm - her old, private one.
"Need some help?", a familiar voice came out.
"Sabine!", Hera happily exclaimed, getting the attention of the other officers. "Am I glad to hear from you! What's your status?"
"Two squadrons of E-Wings, several B-Wings, and I'm on the Gauntlet with a platoon of the finest that Lothal has to offer", she answered, a chorus of cheers and background noise accompanying her voice from the wristcomm. "I'm transferring command of the fighters, that's what you do best. I plan on boarding that thing", as Hera looked on forward, sure that she was referring to the Star Destroyer.
"Do that. Get to its magazine-", the general said before being cut off.
"On it", Sabine answered.
"Get out as soon as possible - as long as you take out its shield, we're good", Hera said as quickly as she could.
"Okay! Spectre 5 ou-", Sabine said, before she got interrupted as well.
"Be careful!", Hera yelled at her wristcomm earnestly.
The younger woman audibly let out a sigh through the wristcomm. "Yes, mother." Some of the officers on Hera's bridge that were within earshot couldn't help but laugh.
"We wouldn't have made it, you know", Hera said to Sabine as she laid a hand on her shoulder. Hera was dressed, as always, in her usual attire - flight goggles on her head, leather vest and gloves, baggy pants, and boots. Sabine, though, had changed out of her armor and bodyglove. She was wearing a bright orange buttoned shirt with tight pants, her long, currently purple-dyed hair now loosely adorning her shoulders. Hera eyed her knowingly as she looked over her eerily familiar outfit.
"We were one ship short, though", the Mandalorian answered sarcastically. "We needed her out there."
"Ahsoka has her reasons. I'm sure she knows what she's doing."
"Yeah? Like what?", Sabine said as she rolled her eyes.
"I don't know", Hera answered thoughtfully. "But I think you and I both know enough already about how their kind sometimes are. All I'm saying is, I think she knew that everything will turn out alright", as she patted Sabine's back to calm her down.
"Guess so", the purple-haired woman answered dejectedly.
"But yeah, things would have been easier if she'd been there", Hera conceded. "Sorry about the Gauntlet. I-", she paused, suddenly caught up in considering whether to continue the line of conversation or not. "I know how much that ship meant to you", she finally said intently, trying to meet Sabine's eyes.
"It was for a worthy cause", the Mandalorian answered after a short pause. She sighed. "Ezra would have approved."
"How's little Jacen?", Sabine asked after a while to dispel whatever it was that was stirring in her heart.
"Not so little anymore", Hera answered, beaming. "I wish you could visit - he misses his favorite Auntie."
"Ha. Tell him I miss my Jacy too", she cooed with delight as she beamed back. "It feels as though it were only yesterday, when he was a little baby in my arms", she added wistfully. "He was a pain to get to sleep, though."
"He was a pain to get out", Hera remarked, eliciting an unpleasant reaction from Sabine.
"Ewww", the younger woman said in mock-disgust. "Don't remind about that, please. That's why I definitely won't be aiming to get me one of those."
"You'd be surprised, once you find someone who feels right", Hera said as she looked at Sabine teasingly. "For instance, this shirt of yours- It just looks... familiar, you know? I think I've seen something like it before", she added, wiggling a finger into her waist to tickle her.
"Will you grow up?", Sabine said as she nudged her mom away from her.
Hera relented, smiling at her daughter warmly as her thoughts drifted to her missing son. "I'm just glad she's not hurting as bad as she did anymore", she thought to herself.
They looked out from behind the dais that was set up for the occasion. They were on the main avenue of Capital City, and it was filled with thousands of people. Celebrations for the Alliance victory against the Empire's Strike Force against Lothal - the first since the planet was liberated nearly five years ago now, was underway.
"Citizens of Lothal!", governor Azadi announced after getting onto the stage. Several hovering screens above them showed his face to the people, all of them coming from far and wide to attend the festivities, which must also be the case for the hundreds of cities across the planet. "We are gathered here to celebrate the victory of the Alliance - our victory - over the Imperials at Garel. Before anything else, though, I would like to invite all of you to pause for a moment of silence for those who gave their lives so that we may all be delivered from the Empire", he solemnly said.
Hera and Sabine turned their heads down and clasped each others' hands instinctively, closing their eyes to remember their fallen.
"Kanan and Ezra would have loved to be in the spotlight, for once", Hera said fondly.
"Especially Ezra", Sabine said, causing them both to giggle, ignoring the speech that ensued from the stage in order to bask in the memory of both Jedi. "You okay?", she asked her mom.
"I am", Hera answered happily. They smiled at each other for a few moments. "Hey", she nudged Sabine suddenly.
"Yeah?"
"I hope you are too", Hera said, as she embraced her daughter. Sabine smiled as she rested her hands on her mom's back.
"It is my honor to present you with General Hera Syndulla, commander of the Alliance task force sent to aid us", Ryder continued, finally getting their attention back to the celebrations. He motioned to the Twi'lek.
"You're up next", Hera smiled to her as she pressed her arm affectionately before ascending the dais.
"Hi there", a deep voice called out from behind Sabine.
"Wedge!", Sabine exclaimed, holding out her hand to welcome the newcomer. The taller man accepted the gesture and shook it. "I hear you and your squad took down one of the Imp's light cruisers", she said. "Good work out there."
"Eh", Wedge answered, trying to play it cool. "It wasn't as bad as Hoth", he continued.
"And we're off", thought Sabine, rolling her eyes. "Some hotshot now, are you?", she said, containing her annoyance and managing a friendly smile instead.
"No", he shot back abruptly, realizing that he'd overstepped. "That wasn't what I meant at all", he said sheepishly.
She tried to hear some of what Hera was saying, but the crowd was getting really loud. All she could make out were some anecdotes about sacrifice and trust. Her eyes then rested on a face arrayed behind Hera, just behind governor Azadi. It was the minister from earlier.
"Ryder's too lenient", Sabine thought as she bit her lip in annoyance. "Then again, he probably has that cat under watch 'round the clock", she whispered under her breath. She knew that if they started arresting people just because they said something out of fear, instead of based on hard evidence, they'd be no better than the Empire they were trying to topple.
"So", Wedge said, bringing her back from her thoughts. Instead of continuing though, he just eyed her awkwardly, seeming unsure of his next move.
"So... what?", she answered. When he still eyed her, she decided to take the initiative instead. "We're cool, okay?', she said reassuredly. "Forget about last time."
"Okay", he said, with a curious hint of confidence - or was it hubris? - suddenly in his voice.
"...welcome our two brave warriors, our very own Sabine Wren and Commander Wedge Antilles!", Ryder's voice suddenly rang out, getting their attention back to the event. They went up the stage, people cheering loudly for them - particularly the girls in the crowd, in the case of the crack starfighter pilot - as they waved back to them.
Sabine and Wedge stood side by side on the dais as they looked on at Hera. "All of the men and women who have contributed to our victory have pointeed to these two, most of all", she said as she motioned towards them. "Commander Antilles personally took down half a squadron of TIEs", the general proceeded as she began to cite Wedge's actions in the battle, making the women in the crowd swoon, "And through his able leadership of his squad, saved several Alliance cruisers from being destroyed."
"Lieutenant Wren came with a large contingent of Lothalite defense force starfighters, which allowed us to flank the enemy from behind", Hera said with a look at Ryder, prompting the governor to nod with a grateful smile towards the Mandalorian. "Then, she personally led a platoon of commandos that boarded the command ship, an Imperial Star Destroyer, and took out its shields - which directly contributed to its destruction, effecting the immediate withdrawal of the enemy fleet"
Deafening applause and cheers rang in the air as Hera ended. Ryder stepped forward and put up his hand to silence the crowd.
"For these contributions, I am recommending promotions for these two fine individuals", he announced. "Pending the general's approval, of course", he said as he held his hands up to Hera, to the amusement of the crowd.
"Very well", Hera answered with a smile and a nod to the two outstanding warriors, motioning to the crowd. The cheering from the crown ensued again, as Sabine and Wedge turn around to drink in the moment, waving and smiling to the people.
From the corner of her eye, she saw Wedge get handed something from the side of the dais.
Before she could react, he had confidently walked across the stage, passing directly in front of Hera and the governor. He was now facing Sabine, just a few steps from each other, eliciting a few curious whoops from the audience. She rested her hands on either side of her waists and looked down, afraid of what she thinks is about to happen and unable to muster a reaction. One of his wingmen had given him a bouquet of flowers and was now presenting it, publicly, to Sabine.
"Hello again", he said happily, beaming down warmly towards her. The sound of girls screaming with both envy and excitement now overwhelmed their ears.
Sabine looked up, but she had a face devoid of emotion on her, wiping the smile off of Wedge's. With a final, apologetic look towards Hera and Ryder, she walked past him briskly and off the stage - making her way out of the festivities.
Just as suddenly as what she had done, silence washed over the whole place. Hera looked on towards Sabine thoughtfully as she disappeared into the crowd.
As she rounded the corner, walking as quickly as she could away from the renewed noise coming from the direction of the celebrations, she saw her speeder in the distance. "Ryder must have the started the next part of the program - good", Sabine thought as she agitatedly walked towards it. She heard someone's voice calling out to her from behind, but ignored it. Suddenly, before she could reach her ride back home, a hand grabbed her arm from behind and spun her around.
It was Wedge, still clutching the bouquet he was trying to hand to her earlier. He held her right arm tightly with his trembling left, as if desperate and deathly afraid.
"Can't you at least accept this?", he asked intently.
"Sorry, Wedge. I can't", she said with an even more intense tone, focusing on the hand that was restraining her.
"Why?", he asked as he wringed her arm, unable to keep himself from letting out his frustration. A moment passed, then another, with only them staring at each other. He had a pleading expression on his face, but she only met it with an indifferent stare. More time passed, the seconds almost audibly ticking away. She felt his grip on her get tighter and tighter until suddenly, he took a bold step forward, put his other hand behind Sabine's left shoulder and pulled her in.
Instead of the soft feeling of her lips and body in his tight embrace though, what he felt was intense pain. He collapsed sideways and went down on one knee, clutching at his crotch, as she brought down her knee and planted her left foot back to the ground.
"Don't you ever", she said, pausing with a quiet tone of anger and disgust as she stood over him, "Try that kriff with me again." She stared at him as he squirmed - her expression gradually softened, though, as he fought to stand up shakily.
"Yeah", he said between bouts of huffing and trying to contain the pain he was feeling. "I think that's the last time."
They stayed silent for some minutes to gather their thoughts and calm themselves down, Wedge pacing while she stood still. She broke the stalemate.
"I'm sorry, okay?", she said with a conciliatory tone. "You kind of put me in a bind out there. Honestly, Wedge, what did you expect?"
"Not that", he said sharply, now beginning to recover his composure.
"Sorry", she said guiltily as she looked towards the ground with her hands resting on her hips.
"Look, you're a great guy, Wedge. A great guy." She looked at him sincerely. "But this", she motioned to herself, before continuing, "Isn't in your stars - so couldn't we just go back to being friends?", she asked, now with a pleading look on her eyes instead.
"That ship sailed a long time ago, Sabine", Wedge answered back determinedly, pressing his case further with a rising tone in his voice. "I could ask the reverse - why in kriffing hells can't you just give me a chance?"
She put her hand on her forehead and sighed heavily in response.
"Am I that disgusting to you?"
"No", she answered weakly.
"Then why?", Wedge asked again, but she didn't answer. Minutes passed as he looked at her intently, as if he was struggling with something. Finally, he stirred. "Because- because you're my cyar'ika, Sabine", he said finally, a pained expression - almost a silent scream - on his face. She looked up at him, visibly touched, but with her eyes still giving him a stern look. "All I'm asking is for you to give me a chance."
A few tense moments of silence ensued.
"I can't", she finally answered back, her voice sure yet deliberately gentle, as if already regretting what her answer will do to him.
He took a step back. "Is- is that really how you feel?"
"Yes", she said calmly.
He sighed heavily, shaking his head.
"He's not coming back", he finally said, bitterly, as he pursed his lips in anguish. "You know that, right?"
Before he knew it, he found his head snapping sideways as his body stumbled backwards, barely able to keep its balance. He spat out some blood from his mouth as he watched her tremble, her eyes filled with fire, her teeth clenched inside her mouth, and her right hand wound up so tightly into a fist that her knuckles turned white.
As she watched him turn his back on her and walk back towards the festivities, she mounted her speeder and sped off on full towards the direction of the tower. She tried to wipe away the tears streaming down her face with her sleeves, but they kept on pouring out; finally, she gave up and instead focused on her grip on the throttles as it got tighter and tighter.
"Kriff this, Bridger", she cursed under her breath.
Sabine sat on a bench, along the perimeter of the park anchoring the square of the newly-built Lothal planetary government offices in Capital City. Directly opposite the office building and across the park, the long, wide, tree-lined main avenue of the city began. Just a couple of days ago, all of these had been full of people. At the center of the park stood the remains of the dais, still awaiting the crews that will dismantle and store it away for the next celebration.
Suddenly, a gloved hand pushed something in front of her face, deliberately shaking her away from her thoughts. It contained a disposable bowl filled with cut-up meiloorun -the orange flesh of the fruit swimming in sweetened blue milk - with a fork already stuck in one of the bite-sized pieces. "Here", a familiar voice said to her.
"This again?", Sabine asked. "You don't get tired of it, do you?"
"Nope", Hera answered merrily, already digging in as she sat beside her.
The Mandalorian sighed, then followed her lead, putting one of the chunks in her mouth. It was good - but she didn't think anything was good enough to be eaten on every single meal.
"You're leaving tomorrow?"
"Yeah, the operation at...", the general trailed off, suddenly being reminded just in time that they were in the open. "Let's just say that we're all being called back."
"Must be something big", Sabine answered nonchalantly.
"Hope so."
They continued eating their treats, Hera finishing hers first and then proceeding to drain the bowl. "Mmm. Good", she swallowed, satisfied.
"You Twi'leks are so lucky. You can eat all you want, not gain a pound, and still look absolutely drop-dead gorgeous."
"You're don't look so bad yourself", the general teased her with one eyebrow raised.
"Yeah?", Sabine answered, appreciating the complement. She didn't get too much of those, but then again, who would risk giving one to her if she was always wound up looking like she was rearing for a fight?
"I know so - having one of the hotshots wrapped around your fingers like that - and he's far from alone."
"Stop", Sabine answered irritatedly.
Hera laughed. "You could have handled that with more grace, though", she said softly, suddenly turning serious.
"Could I?", Sabine said after taking a second to consider what she was going to say.
"Knowing you, probably not. But you could have at least tried. Believe me, I know", Hera answered tiredly, but with a wink.
"No shortage of suitors as well, huh?", she remarked. Sabine sighed heavily as she stared into her bowl of meiloorun. "I don't know why I'm so against the idea of somebody - anybody - pursuing me, you know?", she said as she tried to articulate what exactly she was feeling without giving too much away. She put another piece of fruit in her mouth.
"You don't because you're still dealing in half-truths", her mom said to her, prompting Sabine to eye her in protest - the chunk of fruit in her mouth the only thing keeping her from starting an argument. The younger woman calmed down, though, when she saw the pensive expression on Hera's face as it looked straight at her. The Twi'lek seemed to be measuring what words to use before deciding to speak again. Kanan said Sabine was too wound up - in her own self-doubt, in dealing with abandonment, and rejection - years ago on Atollon, but Hera suspected that even he didn't realize just how right he was. She decided to let off on pressing the subject she had just opened up with the Mandalorian - for how many times now, she had long stopped taking note - and went straight for the immediate one at hand.
"Assaulting a commanding officer is punishable, you know", Hera opened with.
"He tried something", Sabine answered sharply.
"Oh", her mom said with sudden alarm and concern. "That is punishable by death", as she suddenly gave a look of quiet rage. No one messes with my family is what Sabine read clearly in her eyes.
"No... not like that", Sabine clarified. "He just tried to, I don't know, maybe embrace me? But he was also moving his face towards my-"
"What a creep!", Hera exclaimed disgustedly. "Don't worry, though, I'm just going to have a talk with him."
"Without a blaster?"
"Without a blaster", Hera promised, as they burst into laughter for a few precious moments as she scooted closer to Sabine. She laid her closer arm over the younger woman's back, her other hand clasping the arm that was beside her. They stayed like that for a while, enjoying the presence of family.
Then, Sabine stirred. "That wasn't why I hit him, though", she opened, now with a suddenly thoughtful, sincere tone in her voice. Hera stayed silent as she looked at her intently, eager to listen.
"Its- He... Karabast", she mumbled. She sighed heavily, then inhaled deeply as she stared up into the clouds and blue sky above. A tear escaped from one of her eyes as she failed for a moment to check her emotions. She wiped it away, cleared her throat, and composed herself.
"He won't come back", she finally managed. "That's what that kriffer said to me."
Hera laid her head in Sabine's shoulder as she let the younger one rest hers against it, cradling and comforting her daughter with her embrace.
PART 3.1. Five Years Later. - 2
Hera looked on at the celebrations, a wooden cup filled with some nameless - yet delicious - liquor in her hand. The cool night air blew gently across the treetops on which the Ewok village they were congregating in was, caressing and flowing around her entire body - the sensation wasn't very far from the best sonic shower she'd ever had. She sipped on her drink, then nibbled on a slice of perfectly ripe meiloorun she'd just taken from a plate on the table beside her. In the distance, she saw the Princess, her beau, and the Jedi in the center of it all, dancing away. "I could get used to this", she said as she leaned back and let sway the hammock she was sitting on. On another hammock beside her slept five-year-old Jacen, worn out after playing with the the Ewoks.
The night sky illuminated everything around her with a gentle radiance, and as she looked up, she gazed with grim satisfaction at the remains of the Death Star shining like a full moon in the midst of a sea of stars. "We really did it", she called out loud to the sky as her thoughts wandered to the two Jedi who helped make it all possible, shedding tears of pure joy. "We did it, love", she said again, now focusing her thoughts on the father of her son - and the love of her life.
Her reverie was distracted suddenly by the sound of someone clearing her throat. She sighed, before glancing around. "What is it, Madge?"
"I'm- That is, apologies, Ma'am, for disturbing you, General Syndulla... Ma'am", she weakly said, fumbling words as if something weighed heavily on her mind.
"Oh? What is it?", Hera repeated her question with a rising tone of worry, now giving her adjutant her full attention.
"I think you should see this, Ma'am", Madge said apologetically, as she handed the general her datapad. The Twi'lek saw I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news written all over her face.
"Can I trust you... To mind Jacen for a bit?", Hera said calmly after taking a look at the screen. "If I'm not back by morning, get him back to the Vigilance."
"Of course", her assistant answered, before blurting out, "Ma'am, I'm sorry-"
"No need", Hera cut her off, as she smiled and looked at her kindly.
"I took the liberty of getting the Phantom for you", her adjutant replied with a salute, as she looked on her commander with admiration. "It's just a few clicks away from our position, Ma'am."
"Thank you", Hera replied, before turning her back and setting off with sudden haste towards where her assistant had directed her.
Hera landed the Phantom II at the foot of the old comm tower. As she rushed outside, she saw Ahsoka gazing out into the plains.
"She's still up there", the former Jedi said as she turned around to greet her. "She is not well", she added, a hint of sadness escaping from her stoic demeanor.
All she could manage in response was a heavy sigh, nodding at the gray-clad warrior before walking briskly towards the lift.
When she entered, she saw Sabine sitting on the floor in a dark corner of the room, her back against the wall and her knees drawn up to her chest. Both of her hands were lying on the ground limply, and she stared at the ceiling. All around the room, clothes, bits of broken crockery, equipment, and even her precious paint applicators were strewn about. As her eyes wandered further around, she saw that the colorful murals that Sabine lovingly adorned Ezra's former home with had all been haphazardly painted over with a sickening gray-green, turning to black, color - the patterns almost seeming like giant slash marks from some wild animal.
As Hera approached, more and more of her former charge came into view. Sabine was completely naked, her untamed hair damp wherever it touched the front side of her body. She was covered with blotches of the same paint that now oppressed the entire room. Her face had a blank expression, without its usual make-up, and was drenched in tears.
"Sabine?", Hera called out to her, but her daughter didn't respond. The sight of Sabine in the state she was in was enough to make Hera weep.
Hera calmed herself and wiped her tears away before slowly coming forward. She sat beside her, deliberately putting the side of her body against hers. She put out her hands and gently enveloped Sabine in her embrace as she pulled her in to cradle her, tenderly kissing her forehead. Thinking that somehow the silence could ease her former charge's pain, she kept herself from speaking - even though she felt her heart ache because of all the things she wanted to say to her : It's going to be alright. I'm here. Cry on me. I love you, child.
She rose up, carrying Sabine and straining at her weight, and brought her to her bed. She laid her there, and finally, Sabine stirred. She turned towards the wall and buried her face into the corner where her bed met it, curling her body into a heap as it was wracked from the uncontrollable sobbing that followed.
Hera followed her onto the bed and embraced her from behind, not being able to keep herself from crying as well.
It was a full year since Jakku, and Hera only just realized as she spaced out for a moment during a meeting with Chancellor Mothma and Senator Organa. "A year later and she still isn't picking up my calls", she thought to herself as she willed herself back to focus.
After the meeting ended, she went back to her quarters. She saw Jacen tapping the table as he listened to some music and did his homework; her eyes wandered, as they always did these days, to her old wristcomm that always hung on the wall of her pantry. She pushed a button and heard the beeping; as per usual, Sabine didn't pick up.
"Jacen? Time for bed", she called out.
"Awww", he said with a tone of disappointment coloring his adorable voice, apparently close to some new breakthrough in his studies. Hera had noticed how unusually receptive her son was to everything that came across him - if he wanted to learn something, he wouldn't stop until he'd cracked the case open. "Maybe a Jedi thing?", Hera thought to herself.
A month before the final battle against the Empire, Sabine had been in this same room aboard Home One, attending a similar meeting to discuss their plan of attack on the remnants of the Imperial Navy gathered there. As always, she'd been sent as the representative of Lothal, together with a contingent of E-Wings from the planet's defence force.
Ever since that day, two years ago, Hera had noticed a change in her former charge that slowly impressed on her a sense of alarm. Impatient would have been the polite word to describe it; reckless and irascible was better. Every chance she could get to inflict losses on the Empire, she would take with glee - and she'd make sure to dial up the casualty count for the enemy as far up as she could.
Really, her conduct was understandable, given what she had to go through. A memory came back to Hera, of herself waking to the sound of a pot of caf bubbling away, the day after she rushed frantically to Sabine's - and Ezra's - tower on Lothal. Sabine had been up before her, fully dressed in her orange outfit like she always had in recent years, her face made up neatly and her hair combed down. It looked normal, which scared her, even now as she looked back to it - the condition that the walls were in the only indication that her vision of Sabine the previous day had been real. She remembered the words they spoke that day, during that specific conversation, as clearly as if it had happened just a little while ago.
"Are you really sure you're alright?"
"Yeah. Better get back to Jacen - he'd probably be worried sick."
"He can take care of himself, you know that."
"Yeah, and I can't?"
"You couldn't, just a few hours ago."
"Stop it."
"You just lost your entire family Sabine. I just want to-"
"Kriffin' stop it!"
It was the first time, for as long as she remembered, that Sabine had yelled at her like that. I'll get back to you was what she promised. She never did.
Then, a month before the battle over Jakku, she disobeyed orders and struck prematurely at one of the Imperial transports on its way back from supplying the Imperial fleet. If she hadn't contacted her through their private wristcomms, she would have blown it to bits - except that, had she known it, she really couldn't. It was carrying a Fulcrum agent, unbenownst to anyone but the top brass, back from collecting valuable intel on enemy positions. When she came back aboard the Vigilance, Hera had stormed towards her and suspended her from active duty altogether then and there, then sent her on her way back to Lothal.
These past few weeks, though, Sabine had been weighing on her mind again. Ahsoka had contacted her with news about Sabine. It wasn't good.
"I have to stop training her - at least temporarily."
"You know how much this means to her."
"I know - I'm not making this decision lightly, Hera, believe me. Let's just say... That she can be a danger, if we continue - and not just to herself."
She looked at the time and jumped at the reading. "Getting a bit too late for daydreaming", she thought. Suddenly, her wristcomm beeped - the first time in a long, long while. She started, before taking a quick glance at the bedroom. Jacen was sound asleep now, the bedsheet pulled snugly over him.
The wristcomm beeped again, and this time she rushed at it to pick up the call. Taking a moment to breath in order to compose herself, she pushed the button opening the line.
"Can we talk?", Sabine's voice cracked through the channel.
"One moment", Hera answered, barely containing her elation at finally hearing her daughter's voice again. "Can I put you through the holoprojector?"
A few tense seconds ensued before the Mandalorian answered. "Yeah."
Hera quickly took out the comm unit from its wrist mounting and plugged into her table's console. Suddenly, Sabine's hologram was projected right in front of her, showing her hair and face, down to her chest. She seemed to be hunched, as per usual, on the table she'd set up beside her bed in Ezra's tower. She looked worn out - more than usual for the past years - and her hair looked slightly dishevelled, which was unusual especially at the time of day that it must be on Lothal. The circles around her eyes told her right away that she hadn't been sleeping well. "This looks like Sabine at her worst", Hera thought mournfully.
Hera had been the one who had driven Sabine away, though she was left with no other choice after the younger woman's actions - so she understood intimately the reason why Ahsoka had probably done what she did. She had been especially desperate for a chance to talk to Sabine these past weeks. She'd already failed to get through to her, over and over again, when she tried - several times over the past seven years - to talk her through her grief at Ezra's disappearance. Just like her response then, she decided that it was best if she gave Sabine the space that she needed to process things, especially now when the loss of her family was still so fresh for her. She trusted that Sabine would come to her when she was ready - and here she was, finally. She wanted, badly, to reach out and hug her daughter.
The sight of her pained Hera; she wished, bitterly, that things were back to the simpler times when they had all been a family aboard the Ghost. She remembered that there was a time when Sabine would come to her room for a talk if something was bothering her; that time had long since passed, and she sensed a distance between them that she desperately wished she could close.
Sabine closed her eyes and took a deep breath, then exhaled. "So", she began again. "Can we talk?"
"We are already, aren't we?", Hera answered, trying to elicit a laugh - like the good old days, she thought - from her former charge. Seeing Sabine's blank expression though, she relented. "Yes, of course we can", she answered in a more tender tone. "What about?", she said, barely avoiding to tell her, I missed you, child. A shiver ran up her spine when she found a creeping suspicion was finally dawning on her - this just might be the most important call of her life.
"Do you think- do you ever wonder if things would have been better if Kanan had lived?", Sabine finally began, looking down towards her hand that was on the table she was leaning on, as if she was trying to avoid eye contact.
"You're going for something heavy right away, huh?", Hera said with a smile, trying to lift the mood of the conversation. "To be honest? Sometimes", she answered thoughtfully. "Especially when I think about Jacen."
"Kanan would have been a great father", Sabine answered with a hint of nostalgia in her voice, smiling.
"Yes, he would have been", Hera answered, her voice tinged with just a little bit of sadness. "But you know what, after all these years? I think I finally understand completely why he did what he did", she continued, but now ringing with a deep sense of happiness and peace that she desperately wanted to share with her daughter at that very moment. She saw Sabine lean forward, prepared to listen intently, and met her gaze for a few moments.
She relished in finally making a connection with her again, and she wondered if her former charge felt the same way. Preparing herself with a long exhale, she began to speak the words that she wished she could have said to Sabine during her time of agony, back inside their tower on Lothal - she just hoped that these were the right ones as well for what she was dealing with right now.
"It still hurts, to wake up every day without the love of my life by my side - and I know it will always hurt", Hera almost whispered. "But then, how would things have played out if he didn't give his life for us?"
"We wouldn't even be here, talking", Sabine said, finally stirring.
"Yes", Hera said. "But more than that, so many other things wouldn't have happened."
"Jacen-" the younger woman stopped short.
"Wouldn't have been born."
Hera paused for a while, knowing that they were about to enter territory that she knew was a touchy subject for her daughter.
"We wouldn't have even been there to liberated Lothal", she said carefully. "Yes, that too", Hera answered with a hint of melancholy as she saw Sabine's eyes stare down thoughtfully. "I don't know if the Rebellion could have defeated the Empire, if Thrawn was around - but I know for sure that it would have been a far tougher fight, and we barely won at Yavin and Endor as it had been."
"Ezra", Sabine whispered.
"That's why I always try to be grateful for what we have, right now", Hera continued. "Because Jacen wouldn't have had a future if his father didn't give his life for it first", trying to keep herself composed. "Ezra wouldn't have been able to do what he did for us all back then, over Lothal; and you", getting Sabine's attention as she let out a color of longing and love through her voice that only a mother could have for a daughter that she misses so deeply. "Wouldn't have been able to take up where he left off, protecting the world that he cared for - not to mention how you've been such a wonder to me and Jacen over the years", she finally said as she tried to wipe the tears before they fell from her eyes.
"Thank you, Hera", Sabine said after a long pause with surprising earnestness, her voice beginning to break. "You know", she continued as she looked down towards her hand again.
Hera started with sudden alarm as her daughter raised it, revealing that she'd been holding one of her blaster pistols this whole time.
"I'd... I'd started to think that maybe this life that I've lived since they've been gone hasn't been worthy of them at all", Sabine managed to say as tears streamed down from her eyes, before she finally broke and sunk down into uncontrollable sobs.
"Sabine, please!", she pleaded to her, barely containing her panic. She turned around and ran as fast as she could towards the hangar bay containing the Ghost. "Don't do this", she thought frantically as failed to keep her tears from falling.
AUTHOR'S NOTES : This is aimed at some fans who think it's not THAT BAD to lose people you love - that it's somehow not such a big deal to move on from them. Look, if you're one of the ones who are good at moving on, good for you; some of us, though, process things a little differently than you, and it's okay for us to be like that, the same as it's okay to be like you. Anyway, heavy, HEAVY chapter, this one - I had to dig through some of my own past experiences just so I could make sense of what Sabine and Hera were going through at this time. It was difficult for me, it was cathartic, and at the same time I really wish this chapter calls out to the people out there who are hurting, just like Sabine is in this work - just know that it's ALWAYS worth it to live. I know so. It gets so much better, trust me. :) Sorry for being so morbid, but I thought it was important to show that even if you hit rock bottom, there's always hope because you can always, ALWAYS, choose to stand up.